I'm Mute
by BlackaddictReader
Summary: When her words were missing, her eyes would tell a story. After 5 doctors, Bella still doesn't talk, but she does sing. Her latest doctor has a chat with Dr. Cullen and it starts. "What I couldn't do before I did now with my song. A cry for help." new summary.
1. Chapter 1

**Last night i decided to edit the original chapter but then i just decided to rewrite the whole thing.  
New Readers, Welcome.  
Old Readers, I changed somethings, they're not that important but it'd be cool if you read it.  
**

**I don't anything because my life sucks.  
If you don't like the name Izzy, then don't read it(i hope you give it chance though). but if it doesn't bother you, then please continue. The name Bella is going to be used but later in the story.  
**

**all mistakes are mine, forgive me.  
**

* * *

**Now I will tell you what I've done for you -  
50 thousand tears I've cried.  
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -  
And you still won't hear me.  
(Going under)  
Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.  
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)  
Not tormented daily defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom**

**I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under**

**Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.  
(So I don't know what's real) So I don't know what's real and what's not (and what's not)  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore**

**I'm dying again**

**I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through**

**I'm...**

**So go on and scream  
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)  
I won't be broken again (again)  
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under**

**I'm dying again**

**I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through**

**I'm dying again**

**I'm going under (going under)  
I'm going under (drowning in you)  
I'm going under**

The song fades out and I open my eyes slowly. I take a moment to take in my surrounds, a habit I grew into after the first couple of 'sessions', and then turn to Dr. Lopez. His habit after the first few 'sessions' was to look wide- eyed at me and then proceed with a very stupid question.

Clearing his throat, Dr. L says "Very good B-uh Izzy. What was it called?"

I call up years of practice not to roll my eyes at him, and get off the stage I was standing on.  
Ever since the new medical plan my parents came up with along with the doctor, the hospital had remodeled an old storage room to act as my room for when I am forced to come in and sing. The stage was hugging against the wall and there was an old table with a cheap music system where I had my

iPod connected to.  
I turn my back to my doctor and walk over to it, bending slightly to press the right button. A second later an automatic female voice over comes over and robotically says "Going Under".

I unplug my iPod and grab my backpack, giving Dr. Lopez a pointed look. I was always moodier after a 'session'.

"Appropriate title." He mutters writing something down on my file, which honestly I just wanted to burn.

"Well that was very good, Izzy, your vocal chords are holding strong." The immature brat in me went "Woo" but I just nodded my head, wanting to leave. I came to sing and that was only to appease my mother and father. It's been almost 5 years since I last spoke or used my voice, not including my singing. Including my singing wouldn't have made that much of a difference anyway considering I had only begun to sing, possibly, four months ago.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear Dr. Lopez say,

"Izzy, come in two weeks from now, okay? But instead of one song I would like you to bring three, just to see how long you can hold out without your voice giving out."

Once more I nod and he almost looks expectantly at me; which, rudely I'll admit, makes me question his intelligence. As if after singing one song would make me talk after so many years being silent.

Five doctors from all around the world, well not _all_ around, have tried to 'fix me' and if they couldn't do it, why would number six think he's special? He won't break me, he can't break me. There's nothing, _nothing¸ _wrong with me. The fact that anyone knew I could still produce sound, even if it was only in song, was because of my careless mistake.

_I've had this rhythm in my head all day. It kept me from doing my homework in class and it got me an hour detention, which is where I am heading to now. School ended three minutes ago and I'm taking my damn time in putting my books, that I don't need, into my locker before heading to my doom, well not really but I feel dramatic today_.

"_Well students of the ungood," …is ungood even a word? Even though I took my time getting to detention others had decided to impersonate a snail and come ten minutes later than I did. So I had one of the first choices in seating, obviously I choose the desk furthest away from the teacher, so I was more than able to make a note to myself on my phone.  
_  
Note to self: look up ungood.

_"You are all in here for a reason, I really don't care for. So we shall sit here until the hour is up. I suggest you pull out some thing to do because I won't tolerate any noises for the next hour." and with that she plopped down on the chair and picked up a People magazine and started flipping through the pages. _

_I looked around the classroom; everyone was either texting, or doing something on said piece of paper, but I bet my twenty dollars in my backpack, that it wasn't homework. _

_I hear the rhythm again in my head but this time it was with words_

_**And when it rains, on this side of town it touches, everything.**_

_I look away from the people and frown at my paper, intrigued at words in my head. the rhythm sounded so familiar, and I liked it a lot. I never wrote a song before, but there wasn't much to do for the next hour so I grabbed my green pen and began to listen to the singing voice in my head._

_**And when it rains,  
On this side of town it touches, everything**_

_The longer I ran the words in my head, the more it continued and I couldn't help but smile to my self as my hand began to write without much pause. _

_I was so into my song that when the teacher spoke I jumped up and fell off my chair. The kids started laughing, but I'm used to it they know I'm a klutz most of the time. _

_The class, who obviously thrived in others embarrassment, laughed their hearts out at my expense and if it wasn't for the teacher glaring at every one bar myself, I would have turned around and flipped them off. I was so over that shit four seconds after they started laughing. _

"_Well class, you have been quiet and I'm impressed. Since there is only," the teacher paused to look at her watch and continued "nine minutes left of this why don't you just pack up and leave." Even before Mrs. Jefferson was done talking, half the class was already gone and by that I mean every one but me was still there._

_"Well, thank you Bella – I mean Izzy for waiting for me to finish. You may go now." she said and left._

_You know I am beginning to think that Mrs. Jefferson is always starting her sentences with 'well'. Anyway I packed up my papers and I looked at my song._

_**And when it rains,  
On this side of town it touches, everything.  
Just say it again and mean it.  
We don't miss a thing.  
You made yourself a bed  
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)  
And convinced yourself that  
It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore**_

_**And no, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
No, oh, I need the ending.  
So why can't you stay  
Just long enough to explain?**_

_**And when it rains,  
Will you always find an escape?  
Just running away,  
From all of the ones who love you,  
From everything.  
You made yourself a bed  
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)  
And you'll sleep 'til May  
And you'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore**_

_**And no, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
And no, oh, I need the ending.  
So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?**_

_**Take your time.  
Take my time.**_

_**Take these chances to turn it around. (take your time)  
Take these chances, we'll make it somehow  
And take these chances to turn it around. (take my...)  
Just turn it around.**_

_**No, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
No, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
No, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
No, oh I need an ending.  
So why can't you stay  
Just long enough to explain?**_

_**You can take your time, take my time.**_

_I couldn't believe that I finished a song. I knew that I was going to have to sing it to see if it was any good, but I didn't want to sing in school. What if someone heard? Oh god, I wouldn't hear the end of it.  
_

_With an internal sigh, I pick my shit up and walk out of the building, despite my mood smiling with pride as I see that my car, a Ferrari 458 Mustang Italia. It was without a doubt my baby. _

_The drive home is the same old, boring routine but as I walk to the front door of my house and notice that my parents' cars aren't around. Which is suddenly a very good thing, now I can sing my song without having to whisper and worry about my parents hovering, like they've been prone to do since I stopped talking_

_Entering the house, I run up the stairs and to my room, where I hid my guitar under the bed. I had bought it a little over a year ago, just on a whim to keep myself busy when I was finished with my school work. Me and my social life don't agree with each other. If it wasn't for the fact that I changed my doors lock that one time my parents left me alone for a majority of the day, I would never have privacy. So now I'm the only one that has access to my room. My parents don't even know I own an instrument. _

_After tuning the guitar I start playing the same tune that was in my head and I liked it, I really did…_

_"Izzy are you home!" My mother asked, coming through the front door with a bag of groceries just as I'm going downstairs to get a drink of water to calm the ache in my throat._

"_I'm right in front of you," I would have said, but that doesn't exactly work when you don't speak. Quickly I go to her and grab the bag from her then take it to the kitchen, where she follows starting to blab on and on about her day. I learnt early on to just zone her out. _

_As I put away the groceries, I start planning the food dishes I can make with what she bought. My mom may be good at talking and her work but she was a shit cook.  
I keep moving around the kitchen, putting everything in it's place.  
And it's when I finally stop to take a drink of water do I realize, with my own private smug smile, that even though my parents hover, they don't care enough of a shit about me to try figure out that I started singing today. _

But I cocky and careless, about a month later I had been playing and singing once more but this time I wasn't being alert. I didn't hear their cars come up the drive way or when they called out my name.

What I did hear was their simultaneous gasps as they came into my room mid song. They found me on the floor of my room playing the guitar utter my 'first words' and they were over joyed. I found them invading my privacy with tears beginning to stream down my mothers face.

Immediately they began to ask me questions that I wouldn't answer. When they realized this they, almost roughly, pulled out of my room and down to the police cruiser where they took me to the hospital and demanded I get checked out once more.

All the doctors gave up on me after the third week they had me. It's only a matter of time before Dr. Lopez gives up on me too. I try to zone back in, to listen what Dr. L was saying but I didn't really care at this point. Like the good daughter my parents expected me to be when I was at the hospital I nodded my head to whatever he was saying and then waved goodbye.

"Bye Izzy!" The ditzy secretary, Jenna, calls out. Again I force myself not to roll my eyes; the hospital was boarding the doctor-patient confidentiality with my case.

When I came in to sing, they set up the sound system to go around the entire hospital, like a concert. But I don't even get paid, which is fucking bullshit.

I didn't have a say in the situation (ha, say in it, oh I crack myself up), my parents and Dr. L had set up a contract of sorts that would keep my medical files in strict confidentiality, but that the hospital was more than welcome to play my singing if they felt like it.

Was that even legal? Fuck if I know. It didn't annoy me enough to actually call up the authorities and ask if it was though. In two years I'll be eighteen and all this doctor-singing crap will be over.

Just two year, twenty- four months, that's not a lot…_or that's what I keep telling myself anyway. _

The day is cloudy and it's misting lightly, as I make my way to my car and drive back home.

"Isabella." I hear my father, Charlie who happened to be chief of police, call out my full name. I had made everyone I know call me 'Izzy', and for the most part they did, it was parents who dared to call me 'Isabella' when they were going to lecture me.  
"Come into the living room. Now please." His voice was stern and even though he tried to hide it, I could tell his was pissed.

I drop my backpack onto the floor and drag my feet to the living room, where I find my mother, Renée, next to my father. They were sitting on the love seat, my mother clutching the wireless phone in her hands. She wasn't looking at me.

"Sit down." Charlie says and I obey, mostly to just hurry this up. They only did this 'family meeting' thing, when my current doctor calls them and says he's no longer going to be in charge of case. One of them even went as far as to tell them "I'm not going to waste my college degree on your hopeless case."

I see a vein straining in my fathers neck.

This was going to be good…

* * *

**So there you have it :)  
Old Readers, i feel content with this new chapter  
**

**New Readers, i hope you liked it.  
**

**I'm going to be going and editing the next chapters.  
**

**Songs: **

**Going Under - Evanescence  
**

**When It Rains - Paramore  
**

**review please :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**_HELLO!!!_** OKAY IM SOO SORRY I ONLY UPDATE THE STORY FOR AUTHOR'S NOTES AND  
I'M SORRY BUT IM GOING TO MAKE THIS ONLY CARLISLE'S P.O.V  
BELLA'S WILL BE NEXT! I ALREADY STRTED WRTING IT SO I THINK I IF I WRITE THE STORY DURING SCHOOL AND AT HOME (and don't do my homework) I MIGHT HAVE THE 3RD CHAPTER FINISHED BY MONDAY NEXT WEEK.

WARNING: THIS MIGHT BE CRAPPY!  
**DISCLAIMER THINGIE!: I DONT OWN ANYTHING NOT THE CHARACTER OR SONGS OKAY!!! DON'T SUE ME!**

* * *

_**I'm mute**_

Chapter 2

Carlisle's P.o.v

"Dr. Cullen, you have a call from Dr. lopez* on line 3. He says it is urgent."  
"All right. Thank you Tammy." I replied.  
'Huh? What would my old college colleague need' I thought as I picked up the phone and pressed line 3.  
"Dr. Lopez, what do I have to thank for this call?"  
"Hello Carlisle, I apologize for calling you at work, but I need your help with something." Adam said with a hint of anger but mostly worry.  
"Yes, of course. How can I help." I answered, closing the file I was looking at before.  
"I think this would be better face to face, do you mind coming down?"  
"no not at all, when should we meet?  
"Wednesday, if that's possible."  
"absolutely, I will see then."  
"All right. Thank you Carlisle really."  
"There is nothing to thank, I 'm happy to help."  
"Well, I will see you soon and tell Esme and the kids I said hello."  
" I will, good-bye Adam."  
"Good-bye Carlisle." Adam said and hung up

~*~

"I'm home." I called out as I entered through the door, and was immediately enveloped by the smell of home made lasagna.  
"We're in the kitchen dear" my lovely wife replied.  
I hung my coat and placed my briefcase by the door and walked into the kitchen, which was also the dining room, where I found Esme placing the lasagna on the table, that was already filled in with my kids.  
Alice my youngest teen came up to me bouncing like always and placed a peck on my check as she wrapped her tiny arms around my torso  
"Welcome home daddy." She said as we walked to the table. I kissed the top of her head and said  
"Thank you sweetheart." She was still my little angel.  
She let me go and went to sit next to jasper, my second oldest son who gave me a nod in his own way of saying 'welcome home'.  
I smiled in response.  
"Mom! Your lasagna is the bomb diggity dog!" Emmett said, well more like yelled that is, while wiping the saliva off of his mouth.  
"Emmett do you have to talk like that you sound, stupider than normal." Rosalie said expressing her disgust with Emmett's new 'lingo', as he says, freely.  
"Rose don't hate the lingo just because you're jealous." Emmett defended.  
Rosalie scoffed and said "Jealous yeah right you so wish I was."  
"Rosie you don't have to lie we're all adopted family here"  
"Kids. Your father has been home for six minutes and you have yet to welcome him home." Esme scolded with a look on her face that said 'do you want to make me mad'  
God, I love my wife. Esme is a mother of kind nature but you don't get her angry.  
All the kids have had to learn that the hard way.....me included  
"Oh sorry dad, how was work? did you save people from Alzheimer's!" Emmett asked with anticipation in his eyes. He may be eighteen but he is still a little boy at heart.  
"No Emmett I didn't, but work was fine nothing of much excitement." I downplayed it not wanting to get into Adam's phone call just yet.  
"Awww darn." He muttered.  
"Emmett did you fall and hit your head repeatedly, when the family left you alone a couple of years ago?" Rosalie sassed with disbelief all over her face. ahh Rose, only she would ask blunt questions about Emmett's maturity like that.  
"Don't dis what you can have Rosie-poo."  
She only scoffed and turned to me  
"Hey dad. Welcome home."  
"Thank you Rosalie."  
"Can we eat now." Edward said suddenly with boredom in his voice.  
"Oh, yes of course! I'm sorry." Esme said before starting to pass out the food, but I was hardly paying attention to her anymore. I was staring at Edward. He is too quite, even as a little kid he would prefer sitting in his room reading, or playing his piano rather then playing outside with the other's.  
Esme and I both have asked him time and time again if something bothered him but we always got the same answer 'No.. I'm fine, don't worry.'  
"Carlisle. Carlisle? Honey are you alright?" Esme's voice filtered into my head bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw my family (excluding Emmett who was staring at his food, salivating and Edward who was listening to his ipod, looking down) staring at me with curiosity.  
"Oh I'm sorry I was just thinking." with that they all turned their attention back to their food  
Esme hesitated, but then seeing as nothing was seriously bothering me she let it go and flashed me a smile.

=*-*=

"Honey? Are you sure you're all right?" Esme asked again, coming to hug me around my torso, as we were getting ready to sleep.  
"Yes, but I got a call from Adam today at work." I said. wrapping my arm's around her.  
"Adam? as in Adam Lopez, Really? that's odd." she finally said.  
Adam wasn't a man to just call unexpectedly.  
"Yes, he sounded quite desperate. He said he needed my help with something."  
"With what?"  
"He said it was better face to face rather than phone."  
"So when are you going to meet up."  
"This Wednesday, I'm going to drive down to forks."  
"Do you need help packing, how will long will you be gone?"  
"I'm not sure really maybe two or three days."  
"Well then, I know what I'm going to do tomorrow." Esme said with finality in her voice.  
I lifted her chin from my chest and kissed her mouth gently.  
"Thank you. I love you." I whispered  
"I know you do, that's why you married Me." and with that she left my arms and went to her side of the bed and turned off the lights. leaving me in the dark standing.  
"Really Esme really?.." I said after a moments thought. (A/N: sorry I couldn't resist I'm watching sonny with a chance)  
"Yes really, I did it.. didn't it?" She replied with a smile in her voice.  
"Come to bed sweetheart." she said when I didn't move.  
"okay." and I climbed on the bed feeling like a 5 year old for some reason and kissed Esme one more time on the cheek before I fell asleep.

**(Skip to Wednesday)**

I just arrived to Forks, the beauty of the forest never fails to leave me breathless. I pulled to Adams driveway and turned off the car, but didn't get out just yet.  
What could be bothering that he would need to call me?  
He had just about the same grades and points as I in college.  
Just how bad is this situation?  
I didn't have to time to think about that anymore because Adam came jogging up to meet me at my door just as I was opening it.  
"Hey, glad you could come down." Adam said with a smile, but his eyes told me that he was more frazzled then he let on, but I let it go, it was his court and he should start it when he is ready.  
"I said I would didn't I? How have you been." I asked as we walked up to the door, it wasn't raining for once, but I'm guessing it won't last long.  
Fiddling with his jacket zipper he replied:  
"I have been better, let's get some coffee ready, I think the faster you know the better it will be."  
Six minutes later we're sitting in his dining room table, Adam on the end side chair, or as Emmett calls it 'the King chair' while I sat on his right.  
"Well you know I would never ask this of you, coming down to forks to help me with something, but I didn't think I had any other options." He started, which made my curiosity boil.  
I don't mind, I really would like to help in any way I can." I said hoping it would make him feel less guilty, which I think worked according to his relieved smiled.  
"It's my patient," he sighed, getting on with it "I just don't know what to do"  
he looked at in a useless gesture, looking as if he wanted my advice, even though he knew I couldn't give it because I don't know the first thing about his problem  
"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to find a way to understand.  
Instead of answering he stood up and went to his living where is massive library, that rivaled my own, was located and took out a three inch black binder, came back and placed in it in front of me, before returning to his seat, nodding to the binder in front of me a sign that he wanted me to look at what was inside it.  
I opened the binder to the first page and saw a picture of a girl, with a heart shaped face, alabaster skin, and brunette hair that looked as if it had some red in it, which reached down to her waist.  
Below the picture was the girls' information.

Full name: Isabella Marie Swan  
Date Of Birth: September 13, 1987 (A/N: I don't really know the year but, let's pretend shall we!)  
Parents: Renee and Charlie Swan  
and other analysis from past doctors, five doctors to be exact.

I look up and saw Adam staring intently at Isabella's picture, feeling my own stare he too looked up.  
"I'm worried." he said, in defeat.  
"Why what's the matter?"  
"She's...silent, she doesn't talk." he finally told me what was wrong after a moment.  
"Oh, she's unable to talk, is it something about her." was all I got out before Adam cut me off saying:  
"No! Oh, no that's not what I meant."  
Now I was stumped, I felt the confusion make its way onto my face.  
"Yeah, that's what I did when I was first introduced to her file, but it's not that her can't talk, it's that she doesn't want to talk." he said which helped me finally understand  
"So…she doesn't talk...at all?"

then I asked a question without thinking, sometimes I even wonder how I am a doctor when I ask these kind redundant questions

"Why?", and that caused a look dark humor and confusion appear on his face.

"that's the problem…we know she can, but she just doesn't. want to." He explained.

"I'm confused what do you mean you know she can. Have you heard her, has she, I don't know written it out for you or something?" I asked.

Adam bit his lower lip subconsciously and when he realized what he was doing, he shook his head and smirked

"she's got me doing it to" he muttered, without looking up he continued to talk and I realized that he was explaining his reaction " Isabella or as she likes to be call Izzy, bites her lower lip without noticing too, she does it when, I'm guessing, she's thinking or nervous." He didn't speak for a while, and I didn't interrupt, he looked as if he was having a debate inside himself.

"She sings" he said when he lifted his head, I could see a sudden change in him. His eye's no longer looked defeated and frazzle they looked determined.

"that's how we know, we as in the hospital, she sings her own song's but other than that never, she never talks*."

Well this is interesting, someone who can clearly talk but refuses to unless they sing. This wouldn't be a medical condition but more like a mind issues or something like that. I'm going to have to look this up.

"Well what can I help with you with?"

He groaned softly and closed his eyes now looking at him closely I could see that he lost so much sleep out of this, he had dark circles under his eye's.

"You know I would never ask this of you, not unless I thought It was the only way." he began looking me straight in the eyes "I don't know what to do, you're my last option."

I immediately understood what he meant, he didn't know what else to do, but what could I do differently? Five doctor's tried and failed, what makes him think that I will be successful.

But as I looked at Isabella's picture, I could kind of see why he was so desperate.

He cared about her and her future; he didn't want her to throw her life away by not using her voice. Even without talking to him or anybody, Isabella managed to make him care. Make him care about her as if she was his very own daughter.

"I would love to help" and as I said it, I knew it was true I wanted to help Adam but not only that but because I wanted to help Isabella's family and most importantly, I wanted to help Isabella, but then the thought of my family popped into my head. I simple couldn't ask them to move everything and leave to Forks.

I sighed and reluctantly continued "but I'm not sure I can. I don't think could ask that of my family."

He face dropped low. "Are you sure you can't?"

"I'm almost ninety-nine point nine percent sure about that. But I could still ask them."

"Well…at least I know your willing to help, you know Isabella is having a check up this week…" Adam said his voice, trailing off.

I sighed mentally because I knew that he knew that I would never pass up an opportunity like this.

"Oh really? When?" I said trying to hid my interest and act indifferently

"Yes this week on. Well today's Wednesday so...on Friday, yes every Friday. Weekly check up's you know." He, as well was trying to play it off as nothing even though we both knew that it was simply anything but that, but I did feel a bit sad now that I think about. We're treating Isabella as if she was an experiment, oh my mother would be ashamed! (A/n: sorry to interrupt, but Carlisle's mommy didn't die giving birth to him in the story, okay? Just wanted to let you know. But I laughed as I typed that sentence. Okay I'll shut up now!)

"So…" he dragged on " you interested?"

"Yes I am and I would love to go and see her myself, if we stop talking about her like an experiment." I said with amusement laced into my voice.

He thought about what I said and when he realized that I was right he started to blush lightly and while smiling sheepishly, he held out his hand.

"Deal." We both said as I met his hand in the middle and shook it.

* * *

"Well you're free to use any of the free guest rooms. I'll see you in the morning.' Adam said at about ten thirty.

I walked into the closest room next to me, not being picky about the room they were all very nice.

As I sat on the bed I thought about how much I wanted to help Isabella, but then the guilt of asking my family to just drop everything, their friends the comfort of our home and their lives in general, for a girl who they knew nothing about popped into my head. In back part of my mind for one split second I thought about Isabella as this girl who is just playing a game… acting. That she just might be a girl who is just seeking attention.

But I banished such thoughts when I remembered her picture, I didn't look at her eyes closely but now that I think back I realized that the emotion in her eyes wasn't one of happiness of getting a picture taking or loving the fact that she was being the center of attention. I think that she wants the very opposite her eyes flared with boredom and irritation, clearly sending a message of _leave me alone._

I knew I was going to stay to see Isabella, but I just needed to tell Esme I was going to extend my stay, plus I didn't need to worry about running clothes I had enough for two weeks at most(courtesy of Alice)

"Hello?" Esme's voice filtered through the phone

"Hello yourself Esme."

"Oh Carlisle, How is it down there!" she asked, like me Esme loved the Fork's plantation and just plain natural beauty that the forest holds.

"It's breathtaking, but I wanted to call you to let you know I should be home by Saturday."

"! Does it have to do with what Adam wanted to talk to you about? What was it anyway?" She fired questions at me. It reminds me where alive learned to talk so fast.

"Yes it is…and a bit confusing also. He wanted to talk about a patient, Isabella. She's being a bit difficult."

The concern that Esme has for people she never even met always makes me love all the more.

"Really? Is she okay? What's the matter?"

I was about to answer when I heard Alice in the background screaming about Emmett ruining her hair

"Mom! Emmett pour club soda in my hair! Do you know how bad that is! Ugh!"

"Mom…Mother? Mommy… "I'm guessing Esme was glaring at Emmett "you know I would never ever do that! I'm your little golden boy…well besides Edwardo anyway."

"Leave me out of this", apparently Edward was in the room and I practically see him shaking his while he smirked at Emmett

"Oh you guys are impossible! Your father is on the phone and I can't talk to him!" she scolded.

There was a silence and then an ear-piercing scream followed by a shrill scream and I'm guessing Alice screamed in Emmett's ear. His was the shrill cry.

"Daddy!!" Alice yelled and then there was some interference and then the non-understandable chatter that only Alice herself understands.

"And then today I finally beat Emmett in guitar hero! Oh yeah and today he decided to wear this ugly-hey! You douche!"

"Whatever you can't touch this! Hold on dad, I'm on the run!"

"Emmett! Come back here right now!" Alice and Esme yelled in unison.

Then there was a door slam and fake hard breathing.

"Okay. So how's it going dad!" Emmett whispered. You know he may be my son but it still can get awkward with him.

"Uh it's going good, where are you?"

"Me? Oh duh I'm in the coat room." He said causally like it was the most obvious thing in the world and in Emmett's world, I'm sure it is.

"Well could I talk to your mother please it's very important."

"Aw well okay. Please hold an operator will be with you momentarily." And I was put on hold.

"Hello Carlisle?"

"Yes it's me. So where was I before Alice?"

"Isabella was being difficult. You staying out there until Sunday."

"Oh yes well." And I paused I didn't know how to explain it. I now realized why Adam wanted to talk about Isabella in person. " Uh actually you know how Adam thought it would be better in person to talk about this, well I agree with him." I said.

"But you will explain when your back right?" she said after a while

"Yes, absolutely." I answered immediately.

"Well okay. But hurry back two day's away is fine but almost a week with the kids is going to a little bit less then durable." She said chuckling.

"I will, take care."

"You got it love you, goodnight."

"Night, tell the kids goodnight for me."

"I will, good luck with Isabella." And then the line disconnected.

(*_*)(*_*)

(A/N:Hugs!)

**(Skip to Friday morning)**

Well Thursday was very relaxing, Adam and I just caught up. I found out more about Isabella. Adam says that Isabella hates her name and prefers to be called 'Izzy'.

She also makes her own songs and records all of the instruments for the songs.

If she has so much talent then why does she refuse to talk? It seems like waste of talent to me.

"Are you ready?" Adam asking taking me out of my thoughts I looked down to the video camera, which was in my hands and then back up.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Smiling he said, "Great. So what are you going to do with the video camera?"

"I'm going to record Izzy singing, when I go back home I'm going to explain her situation to the family, because I really do want to help her." I answered as we walked down the driveway and into his car and at my word his smile just got bigger.

"Well let's hope, Izzy is going to be singing three songs today usually it's just one but I want to see how long she can sing with out her voice giving out."

"Alright." I said, and we drove the rest of the ride to the hospital in mutual silence.

* * *

**Hey!  
i'm sorry i took forever!**

**but umm lets me explain the * things okay.**

**the first one behind is bececause i changed Dr. Collins name, sounded too much like Cullen so yeah.  
And the one when Dr. Lopez says she never talks. i wanted to clear it up so in the future you guys understand**

**in the songs I'm going to make bella sing they might have some words that the singer speaks.**

**So what ****is saying that she doesn't talk when the music isn't playing. when she talks in her 'songs' it is totally different! okay!**

**so yeah!**

**i'm pretty sure i only put two * **

**so im finished**

**Reveiw!Please?......  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**HEY! Chapter 3 is now done! thank jesus! just kidding.**

**Disclaimer thing: i don't own twilight or anything so don't sue**

**Hope you guys like!!!**

* * *

**Izzy P.o.v**

**Friday morning**

_Beep Beep Beep  
_'Ugh shut up' I thought and when it didn't I raised my hand out of my warm blankets and just yanked it out of the wall.  
What's today? And after a minute of thinking I realized that it was Friday I had to sing after school. Well shit, I didn't pick songs out. Mentally shaking my head I decided I'd just pick during lunch. 'Let's get this over with' I thought to myself as I took a deep breath and threw the covers off.  
You know you would think living here for all my youth I would get used to the morning cold, but nope I don't.  
Any way after shivering for a little bit to wake me up I ran to the bathroom in the hall and turned oh the lights which blinded me for a second.  
I turned the shower faucet on and waited for it to get hot. I looked at my face in the full-length mirror as I undressed. My face was still a pasty white and I had dark shadows under my eyes from the lack of sleep, I didn't really pay attention to that.  
I was looking at the nasty bruise that covers the left side of my face from the corner of my lips to where the dark shadow under my eyes begins.

I automatically clenched my teeth when I thought about how I got this ignoring the small pain I felt

_**~*~ Flash back~*~**_

"_Isabella come in here please…now." My father, chief sawn or Charlie hell it doesn't matter, called out to me when I entered the prison I called home, with an anger that was trying to be hidden, no dice though I heard it. I walked into the living room and saw my mother, Renee, there also. This only happens when a doctor calls them letting them know that I am a hopeless case and they refuse to let their collage degree go to waste, or something along those lines.  
__I sat down on our comfy black couch and away from my parents who where occupying the black love seat. You know how my father sitting and my mother on the chair arm rests.  
__This was going to be good.  
_"_Well do you know who we just off the phone with?" Charlie asks, which is stupid because I'm not going to answer and he knows it, but since I'm bored right now I might as well play along.  
__I pretend to think about it open my mouth for a second then close it. I raise one of my eyebrows and shrug. Renee sighs shaking her head and I think I could hear Charlie grinding his teeth. Maybe for Christmas I'll by him a grind guard…yeah I'll buy him a grind guard. I'm such a good daughter! Did you notice that sarcasm there?  
_"_Honey calm down" my mother says to Charlie and then turns her body to me "bell- uh Izzy that was Dr. Lopez." She said as if that helped with anything.  
__I'm pretty sure they want me to say something but I learned sign language and pretty much forced my parents to learn it as well. So we might as well practice.  
_'_So' I sign and confusion crosses their faces but then they realize what I'm doing and Renée answers, "we have been through this from the last five doctors. If you don't try and talk with Dr. Lopez he is going to quit."  
__I looked around the room and show one of my new notebooks I bought this week on the coffee table. I reached for it and the pen next to it and wrote_

**It's not like he ever cared! He only wants your money.**

"_Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't but he has lasted the longest." She said with her voice calm._

**Oh like that matters** _I wrote._

"_Yes it does Isabella and you know it. We just want you to get better." This maybe jacked up but I'm going to be straightforward, she lost it and the waterworks started. The whole bit throwing her hands up in the air then placing them over her eyes muttering, "what did we do. Why is this happening to us!"  
__oh my god. Really? Even when I'm the one with 'the problem' they think it's their downfall; they're the most conceited people I know._

**Would you get over yourself I'm fine the way I am!**

_Greaaat! Just great now I'm the one freaking grinding their teeth.  
__Charlie's face turned a strange shade of reddish purple. Then he did something I would never expect. He lunged. He lunged straight towards me yelling, "That's it!" he caught me by the neck and the force of his attack sent the couch tumbling backwards. Charlie stood up (thank god he was seriously right on me and it was starting to hurt), still grabbing my neck and dragged me up with him, his hold getting tighter.  
__I could barely hear past the pulsing in my ears but I managed to get "Charlie stop this is crazy!" from a hysterical Renée, but the look on Charlie's face made it clear to me that he was past reasoning. My vision was getting fuzzy and it was staring to get harder to see, everything was being covered by black. My lungs were burning for air; I raised my hands to Charlie's arms and tried to pull them. Then one hand released and it came smashing onto the side of my face. He released me and I dropped to the floor gasping and wheezing. I sucked mouthfuls of air when two seconds later I realized that there was blood dripping from my face onto the floor.  
__I looked up from where I was on the floor and met Charlie's eyes. Renee was behind him hugging him to her chest. I still felt woozy but I managed to glare at Charlie and stand up.  
_"_Bastard." I mouthed, and then I turned around and ran up the stairs, almost tripping every other step.  
_"_Bella!" Renée yelled after me but didn't follow me to make sure I was okay and to make it worst she called me Bella.  
_'_Fuck you all to hell.' I thought as I slowly made my way to the mirror.  
__I was an easy bruiser, but the fact that my left side of my face was already darkening showed me that Charlie intended to hurt me, intended to give much worst. Charlie may be a man of low patience, but never… ever in my lifetime had he raised his hand to me. Renee was the punisher.  
__  
Ugh what the fuck!? I can't go to school this week, that's all I'm sure of right now._

_**~*~End flashback~*~**_

I came out of dreamland and noticed that the mirror was now all fogged up. Shaking my head at the flashback I when inside of the shower.  
The water felt nice on my back, the scolding hot water warming up my body in no time at all. It didn't burn anymore; it's one of the things I turn to when I need familiarity..  
After doing my business, washing scrubbing and just standing there until the water stared to cool. I stepped out of the shower covered myself with my towel and walked slowly to my room.  
'_What to wear, what to wear?' _I thought.  
In the end and after 2 minutes of standing in a towel I finally chose. My black and white checkered skinny jeans, my black top that has a hot pink skull and some more black and white checker designs in the corner and for shoes my basic all black converses*.  
I checked my cell and the time was 5:43 am. Now you might be wondering what the hell I'm doing up so early well that's simple because I don't like dreaming, well the correct sentence to use would be I don't like having nightmares.  
Sometimes I don't even sleep just stay up all night doing the next week's homework or try and write songs.  
Anyway since I have time I decided to straighten my hair, I'm bored so what sue me.  
Oh and FYI I'm not usually this picky or concerned about my appearance, but if I straighten my hair then it will fall in my face which is good because I'm running low of cover-up.  
All this week I haven't gone to school, sure Renée and Charlie think I go to school but really I just go to Port Angeles and just read the day away, then I text Angela and ask her what we had for homework.  
By 6:20 I was on my way to school and managed to escape the house without having to be confronted by Renée or Charlie. I arrived to school 10 minutes later because of my slow driving and went to all my classes and turned in all of the weeks work. They seemed surprised for a second then just accepted it. Thank god they didn't notice the bruise, it hurt like hell when I was covering it up this morning with the cover-up thing.  
"Izzy!" I heard and I turned around and saw Angela, she stood there for a moment and then ran to me, for like half a second I saw Charlie charging at me and wanted to freak out but the smarter part of my brain told me to calm down it's only Angela, the closest and only friend I still have. It wouldn't be cool to freak out on her when she did nothing wrong.  
"Oh my god your back I was so worried! I missed you!" she whispered as she pulled me into a hug., here's the thing she knows something happened, she knows that whatever happened caused my silence she just doesn't know what exactly happened, yet here's the thing I love most about her.  
She doesn't try and change me, sure she's worried about me but she knows that it's my option if I want to talk or not, she understands. And best of all she doesn't pry, she just focuses on the fact that I did come back.  
I hugged her back and when we pulled apart I signed 'I'm sorry really'  
She smiled gently and said in a soft voice " it's okay don't worry about me okay. Now are you okay?" Damn. Could she see the bruise? Oh wait she's not looking at my cheek only my eyes. Really I must be paranoid  
I tilted my head to the side and tried to look confused but still smiling and nodded my head yes, as if saying 'yeah why wouldn't I be?'  
"I don't know just asking" she said chuckling as we made our way to first period together. Which is good because if Angela wasn't in my history class I would probably fall asleep every day  
"Oh hey today's your check up huh? What song are you going to sing?"  
Shrugging I pulled out a piece of paper when we sat down in the back corner and wrote

**Uh I don't know, I forgot to pick songs out.**

**Help me?**

Angela smirked "Really Izzy you forgot to pick out a song for something you do every week?' I just smiled sheepishly and shrugged.  
"Okay fine, during lunch?"  
I nodded and then turned to the teacher who was just starting his lesson.  
25 minutes later I realized that I felt like I was in a Charlie brown episode. I can't remember a single thing the teacher said after roll call, it's all blah blah blah bla blah blah blah.  
I'm bored.  
So to entertain myself I started moving my head in a circle.  
The class, the wall, the ceiling, Angela, and again the class the wall the ceiling Angela.  
By the fourth time I did this, and I got to Angela she was staring at me  
"What are you doing?" she whispered, giggling.

**I'm bored.**

**HEAD CIRCLE WITH ME!**

When she finished reading she covered her mouth to smother the sound of her laughter.  
Smiling she nodded her head and touched of her fingers  
3…

2…

1

The class, the wall, the ceiling, the side of Angela's head and again the class, the wall, the ceiling, the side of Angela's head.  
Then Angela changed rotations and when we met each other's eyes, we cracked up but Angela was less fortunate she wasn't fast enough to cover her mouth before she let out a very loud laugh.  
I the lucky one and I look completely normal. Well besides the fact that my face was slowly turning red and that my body was shaking with laughter that didn't want to leave.  
"Is something funny about the Boston massacre miss Webber?(A/N: is that her last name?)  
"Uh no sir."  
He must have known that I made Angela laugh somehow, because he made it very clear to give me a very scary (or at least I think it was meant to be scary) and mean glare. Hmp! Buzz kill.  
The rest of the class I spent looking at the desk, and tracing the lines.  
"Izzy? Are you coming?"  
I looked up and noticed that there was no one in the class but us (Mr. Glare didn't have a class during 2nd period so he goes home).  
'Oh.' I mouthed and quickly gathered my things and stuffed them all in my messenger bag. I used to have a backpack but it left to backpack heaven when it died in a fire. Which happened like 2 weeks ago I think but none of my stuff was burned, the backpack was empty I just finished washing it.  
The rest of the morning pass without much excitement and now we were sitting in the back table especially reversed for us 'loners' well Angela isn't a loner. She's quite likable being all nice and polite…me yeah I might as well get a crown and sash and be named Unwanted Queen of Losers.  
"Okay so you only have to chose one song right?" I felt my eyebrows pull down as I stared at my fingers picking the crust off of my tuna sandwich.  
I lifted my head to see Angela and realized that I never told her that I had to sing 3 songs. Well damn.  
I shook my head and lifted 3 fingers.  
"Really? When did it change?"  
I got my phone out, the teachers didn't care if we used our phones anymore, and started a new text message to Angela.

**It changed the last time I when so, a week ago Friday.**

**It's only this time thought…I think.**

"Oh well what songs have you sung this month?"

**Going under.**

**It's barely been a week since the first 'check up' this month.**

"I guess your right. Do you have your Ipod by the way?"  
I looked at her like she was crazy; I never left the house without my Ipod on full charge  
Noticing my look she started to turn a light barely noticeable pink.  
"Right sorry. Let me see it." Lifting my bag off the floor I took out my Ipod and gave it to.  
"Since I like all of your songs we are going to put your Ipod on shuffle and the first three songs that we get, are going to be the ones you sing. Deal?" Angela as she took the Ipod off of hold and when to my music…I already had it on shuffle.  
"Okay here we go…'Hello', your turn." I appreciated the fact that she was trying not to make a big deal out of this she knows I hate this.  
I took the Ipod from her and pressed the fast forward button once.  
'Tourniquet' it read, I showed it to Angela and she smiled. It's one of her favorite songs.  
"Okay my turn!" she said literally snatching the thing out of my hand. I think someone is excited.  
"Alright then lets us see…My Immortal. Oh I like this one!"  
Okay so I have play list now…well that was fast.  
"So in order your going to sing: Hello Tourniquet and My Immortal. Cool!"  
I shook my head; Angela loved to hear me sing so she is always the first one to the hospital to get a good seat in the waiting room. Ugh the joys of being me…Pssh yeah the fucking right.  
The bell rang and Angela and I went to throw our food away. I didn't touch mine. It was too mushy for me to put in my mouth. I had biology right after lunch, which was both cool and relieving at the same time, cool because I like that class it's interesting. If I actually pay attention that is and it's relieving because I have a whole table to myself, I don't have to pretend that I'm paying attention and I don't have to be bothered with people trying to get me to talk.

*****

Well Great… I smell like freaking Frog!  
'Fuck I need to take a bath.' I thought as I made a split decision to skip gym, Again, and go home to take a shower and to straighten my hair again.  
Fucken Mike… hope you trip during Gym.

**~*~Flashback~*~**

"_Good morning class! Sorry I'm late." Mr. Banner said as he walked into class 5 minutes late carrying a medium sized white Styrofoam box. Oh god no no no please no  
_"_Today we're going to do an in school project." We are. Ugh I hate Mr. banner right now.  
_"_So pair up with a partner, because today we're going to dissect frogs!! Won't that be fun!" I think he meant it when he said fun; he really needs to get out more._

"_Hey Izzy! Want to be partners!" Mike suddenly said appearing right in my face, making me flinch back. I looked back and saw Angela with Ben; she has a super big crush on him, so of course she would leave me hanging. She turned my way and saw who was stand next to me made a face, and mouthed 'I'm sorry it's Ben'  
_'_Whatever' I mouthed back and then I turned to Mike and tried not to grimace.  
_"_Okay every one has a partner, good I will be coming around the tables and placing the frogs on the cutting board." Mr. Banner said as he made his way to the first table.  
__I knew this was going to be bad the moment Mike's face turned slightly green when he saw the damn frogs, I just didn't know how bad it would be._

_20 minutes later, I learned three things  
__One: it wasn't bad. It was very bad  
__Two: I was going to make Mike pay for a grind guard. Which I now need  
__And  
__Three: I was going to shank* him with the fucken Scalpel._

"_Oh crap sorry again Izzy!" he cried, when he made the frog (who I shall call paco from now on) fall off the board and land on my thigh for the second time.  
__Shaking my head and taking a deep breath so I would slap the shit out his head I carefully picked up paco and laid him on the board. I yanked the Scalpel from the table and began to cut the frogs skin. Just as I was finishing cutting from his little left arm to his right, mike yelled out as he ran to the sink in the back of the room "Oh god! I'm going to be sick." Causing me to press down harder on paco and making frog blood squirt out of a vein, I think, and splash my hair and face.  
__Every one of those bastards besides Angela and Ben laughed at Mike and me.  
__Hell Even Mr. Banner laughed. I gagged slightly as I smelled the blood.  
_"_Here." Angela said handing me a wet paper towel with one hand and using the other to clean the blood out of my hair with the other.  
__I smiled in a way of thank you and hugged her or at least tried to she stopped me before I could warp my arms around her.  
_"_I love you and everything Iz but I refuse to let you hug me when your starting to smell like frog." She said casually and continued cleaning, while I sat there and practiced my fish impersonation  
__I turned around and mouthed 'Rude much'  
_"_It's true and there I'm pretty sure you're not going to smell… much anyway." She said and then went back to her table. Mike also came back but I didn't acknowledge him just started packing up since paco was no longer able to be of use to us.  
__  
So I spent the rest of the class time reading.  
__But it didn't last long because Mike was still trying to say sorry. When he was still talking I looked around and saw Mr. Banner talking to someone on the school phone with his back turned, I turned back to Mike, who was still talking, picked up the Scalpel with one hand held it close to his face and with a my best glare I flipped him off with the other hand.  
__His face paled considerably and he left me alone for the rest of the period._

**~*~_End Flashback_~*~**

I got to my car. God I love my car this is one of the times I'm glad my mother has the job she has. It's nothing bad she's a lawyer, but she leaves a lot, which means I have to be a perfect silent daughter if she comes back with clients. I got it for my 16th birthday they thought that if I had a car they could guilt me into talking, yeah it didn't happen. It's a black Ferrari 458, it's awesome!  
When I got home no one was home, thank god. I raced up to the bathroom and turned on the shower and again for the second time today I lathered rinsed and repeated but only this time I gagged slightly when I saw Paco's blood turn the water all red. Ew. When I got out of the shower I checked the time, it was 12:45. So I went to my closet and chose my all black skinny's and my black shirt that say 'Feel the music' in white letters, I changed my shoes too now. They're still converses except they're high tops with dice designs on them. So I'm wearing all black.  
After blow-drying my hair, I was finishing the last strand I needed to straighten when I was the time it was 1:28. Sighing, I got up from the chair and got my things ready. To say I wasn't nervous would be such a huge lie it wouldn't be funny, not that it is in the first place but still! As I continued thinking and walking down the stair I started biting my lower lip. Dr. Lopez is- Oh Shit! I thought as I remembered why I straightened my hair in the first place, I scurried (hehe scurried funny word) over to the nearest mirror and saw that. Yes indeed I forgot to put cover-up.  
Okay now it was 1:40 by the time I got to my car, I think I'm hoping that if I take my time I won't have to sing 3 songs. Oh yeah, as I was thinking before I saved my own butt from unwanted questions. Uh to say I wasn't nervous would be a lie I'm really nervous I mean what if my voice does crack or what if I forget the word or worse my voice gives out! In the back of my mind I knew that I was making this into a bigger deal than what it actually was, so I took a deep breath and thought ' I can so do this, don't let them prove themselves right. There is nothing wrong with me at all. Just sing' and with my feelings under control I started the car and made my way to the hospital.  
"Izzy Izzy!" started to be chanted as people saw me get out of my car. I ignored them and just kept walking; it was ridiculous the way they were acting like I was this super star. Even worse the kids from school are even hear. Angela said before that even though they hate me at school they can't deny the talent that I posses in singing. My response to that was to smack her head lightly but enough to hurt a bit and walk away and not turning around when she yelled 'hey! What was that for!'  
"Hey Izzy!" Angela yelled over the small but loud crowd. As she made her way to I slowly walked backwards knowing that soon I would bump up against jenny's desk, which I did around the same time Angela got to me. I groaned softly when I was Angela wearing a shirt that she was the number 1 fan of Izzy Swan. She knows I hate that shirt but she refuses to let me burn it. Angela noticed my look and said "Oh don't you start!" I rolled my eyes and turned around to jenny that was smiling a very excited smile. I held up two fingers. Her smile turned into a small smirk and said " coming right up." You see when we first stared these 'concert things we made these codes two fingers means to tell every body to calm the fuck down.  
"Everybody please be quite! We have patients that are sleeping! If you continue being this loud we will call security." Jenny's voice rang out and just like that everyone became quite. Pathetic losers are what they are. That's for sure.  
"Good luck and don't worry you'll be great!" Angela gushed and pushed me towards the hallway of doom as I oh so lovingly call it.  
When I got to the door I just walked right in and went straight to the CD player, what was an Ipod Dock also, I went to my play lists and chose the play list I named 3 times the Torture. Dr. Lopez didn't speak, because he knew that I was not even going to look at him until I felt like it. I went to the back of the stage where there was a white board and in black large letters I put

**Hello**

**Tourniquet**

**My Immortal**

And then underneath I put in smaller letters

**Force to perform against her will: IZZY SWAN!**

It was only then that I turned around and not because I wanted but because I was surprised by an unfamiliar laugh. It was a very good-looking, average tall man with blonde hair and theses amazing pair of bright blue eyes. But I would never say that I thought he was good-looking. I looked at him for a few more seconds and then turned to Dr. Lopez with an eyebrow raised in question. Dr. Lopez understood the look and said,  
"Izzy this is Dr. Carlisle Cullen he's an old collage friend of mine. He's here to uh…" he hesitated and then continued " Observe you I guess you could say." My gaze went back to Dr. Cullen and my eye's fell onto his video camera then back to his eyes. I pointed to the camera and he answered my unspoken question " Oh I would like to record you singing," He started then quickly said " If you don't mind that is! So later on I could do some analysis." 'How much could you get out of a video?' I thought. With a very doubtful look, which I'm sure confused both of them, I nodded an okay and shrugged. I looked at Dr. Lopez and then tilted my head towards the stage. "Oh whenever you're ready you can start," he said.  
I nodded and went to the CD player and pushed play. I had 4 songs on there the first being just a blank time space, so I could get to the stage and 'get in the zone' as Angela says at times.  
I looked forward and saw both Docs looking at me. Dr. Cullen had turned on his camera meaning that he was now recording me.  
'I can do this' I thought when the first notes started. I shut my eye's took a deep breath and began to sing blocking out anything else

**Playground school bell rings again  
Rain clouds come to play again  
has no one told you she's not breathing?  
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to  
Hello**

**If I smile and don't believe  
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream  
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken  
Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide  
Don't cry**

**Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping  
Hello I'm still here  
All that's left of yesterday  
**

One song down two to go. Tourniquets sounds began to play. 'I don't think they're ready for this song but, oh well' I thought as I opened my mouth to sing.

**I tried to kill the pain  
but only brought more  
so much more  
I lay dying  
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?**

**My God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation  
my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation**

**do you remember me  
lost for so long  
will you be on the other side  
or will you forget me  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?**

**My God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation  
my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation**

**I want to die!!!**

**my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation  
my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation**

**my wounds cry for the grave  
my soul cries for deliverance  
will I be denied Christ  
tourniquet  
my suicide  
**

My Immortal the last song and yet it feels like the longest damn one to sing, I still haven't opened my eyes yet so I have no Idea how Dr. Lopez and Cullen are reacting.

**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**

**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**

**[Chorus:]  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**

**You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me**

**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**

**[Chorus]**

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along**

**[Chorus]**

The last notes now rang out and I let my voice fade away like it's supposed to. 'I did it!' I thought but then I realized that Dr. Lopez might keep the 3-song limit thing. Damn! I opened my eyes and saw Dr. Cullen's mouth wide open. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not until Dr. Lopez whispered something in his ear and he quickly shut his mouth and then said "That was amazing!" I sent him a small smile and then I walked off the stage to get my Ipod.  
Dr. Lopez now found his indoor voice, "Yes, it was amazing. You have yet to disappoint me with your songs. What were they called." He said in a cheap shot to get me to talk. I gave him an incredulous look, I mean really doesn't he learn.  
I stuck my thumb out behind me and pointed to the whiteboard. Shaking my head in mock sadness I turned to Dr. Cullen and shrugged my shoulders as if I was saying 'Hey what can you do?' then I waved a good-bye to both of them and started walking to the door, only to be stopped again just like last time by Dr. Lopez's voice.  
"Two songs next week Izzy. Don't forget."  
I simply waved him off, opened the door and was pulled into a hug by a screaming Angela.  
"Oh My God! You rocked! See you didn't have to so nervous-" but then I covered her mouth with my hand and shook my head. When I moved my hand from her mouth, she blushed a tiny bit and said " Oops sorry." I rolled my eyes playfully and reached my hand to mess up her hair.  
"Hey!" she yelled and I started giggling. "Izzy not cool!" she made a grab for me but I ran away from her. My giggling now a full on laugh.  
"Bye Izzy! You were great!" Jenny yelled as I raced pasted her.  
"Izzy get back here!" Angela yelled. We were in the parking lot by now and I was running and getting my key's out when Angela tackled me to the ground, oh thank you god that I was on the sidewalk with grass. It would have hurt on the ground. I was gasping and laughing and I'm sure my face was red from the run and laughing. Angela was still yelling at me for messing up her hair but I could hardly pay attention. Her face was red also. She trailed off when I pointed my finger to her face. Then she started laughing. A few minutes later our laughter died down and Angela stood up and she helped me up also.  
"That wasn't cool it took me like 30 minutes to do my hair. But it was funny. Can I have a ride by the way? " Angela said. She loves my car just as much as I do.  
I nodded my head and we walked to my car.  
"You were really good Izzy." She said as I started the car.  
Shrugging I pulled out of my space and onto the rode.  
"Seriously everybody was like screaming. Even Mike was screaming like the girl he really is."  
I growled a little I still haven't forgiven the nitwit for the blood incident.  
"Yeah I know don't say his name. But you were great." She said again.  
I pulled up into her driveway and reached over to give her a hug, when I pulled back her eyes were shining with unshed tears.  
"I haven't heard you laugh out loud in such a long time. I missed it. Well see you Monday" Then she got out of the car and walked into her house.  
I drove back to my house in a blur. Again no one was home. I went up to my room plugged in my Ipod and blasted Bullet for My Valentine.  
I fell asleep listening to 'Take It Out On Me'

* * *

**Hello people.**

**Izyy's outfit's will be on my page**

**and the * things**

**the 1st one behind converse is just to let you guys know that the outfit will be on my page..like i said before. **

**and the 2nd one behind is because i wasn't sure how may people actually knew the word but it means well i'm using my friends and mine defintion**

**it means to get a sharp object and to stab someones side with it.**

**soo yeah if there's anymore than just tell me.**

**Review please!?  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys imma keep this short  
****I have a bit of writers block so this chapter might suck and even though i say that on almost every chapter you guys keep reading and i thank you all for that!  
I might update Let Me Help later this week and My Best Friend the Vampire probably like on the 1st week of May maybe sooner.**

**I don't own anything! you all know who the characters belong to!  
I'M SORRY IT TOOK FOR EVER TO UPDATE!!!!**

* * *

**Carlisle P.o.v**

**Location: Hospital just before Izzy ran from the room**

**Date: Friday**

* * *

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**  
**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**  
**and I held your hand through all of these years**  
**But you still have**  
**All of me**

She sang the last words of the song; her face was calm but also sad. I knew it was rude to stare with my mouth wide open but she was just that good. I didn't except it.

I also knew it was rude to still be staring at said person when they were looking at you, but I couldn't make my body listen. So there I was staring like an idiot until Adam saved me and whispered in my ear, "Wasn't it you who said that gawking was rude a while back…you should take you advice before you start drooling and say something." He chuckled softy at the end.

I shut my mouth and then said, "That was amazing!" but then realized that amazing wasn't a good enough word. I should have used a better word like: incredible, or stunning.

She sent me a small fleeting smile and then walked off the stage to the CD player and collected her iPod.

She turned around when Adam started talking, "Yes, it was amazing. You have yet to disappoint me with your songs. What were they called." Does he really believe that she'll fall for that? I barley know her and yet I know she wouldn't be tricked by that.

She gave him a disbelieving look as she stuck her thumb behind her to where the white board was.

She shook her head in mock sadness and turned to me, which shocked me a bit, and shrugged her shoulders with a face that made me believe that she was thinking something along the same lines, that I was.

She waved to both of us and started walking to the door, not saying a word at all. She really is 'mute', but stopped when Adam started talking, "Two songs next week Izzy. Don't forget."

With her back still to us, she waved him of and opened the door and was pulled or should I say grabbed into a hug by a screaming girl. She looked to be around Izzy's age with light brown shoulder length hair.

"Oh My God! You rocked! See you didn't have to so nervous-" was all she got out before Izzy covered the girls mouth with her hand and shook her head. When Izzy moved her hand from the girls' (what is her name?) mouth she blushed a little and said "Oops sorry." I couldn't see Izzy's face but she reached out and messed up the blushing girls hair causing her to yell out, "Hey!" which then made Izzy giggle, and then Adam gasp quietly. Like a dominoes effect, one falls down causing another to fall.

"Izzy not cool!" she made a grab for Izzy, but Izzy managed to get away from the room. You could hear her foots step getting quieter but her giggles became louder and louder until they were laughs.

The girl sighed, gave us a smile and wave and then ran out the door. You could hear her yell "Izzy get back here!"

"Come on" Adam said as he went to the window.

I got to the window just in time to see the girl tackle Izzy to the ground. Both Adam and I winced at the same time, Not good for the head. **(A/N: is it bad to get tackled like that? I don't know but I'm putting it!)**

"By the way the girl that tackled Bel- uh I mean Izzy is named Angela Webber, their 'BFF's' as the kids nowadays say."

I looked at him but then just shook my head. Angela must have been yelling at Izzy for messing up her hair but when Izzy, who was still laughing pointed her finger in Angela's face, she trailed off and then began laughing with her.

They stayed on the ground like that laughing for a bit. Angela got up and helped Izzy up said a few words with Izzy's response of a nod and then they went to a car. Oh my lord!

"Uh is that…no way!" I said to Adam.

He smirked and seemed to understand me " It's Izzy's car she got it for her 16th birthday. Her parents thought that getting her that car would make Izzy talk. It didn't work."

"They gave her a black Ferrari 458" I said flabbergasted. **(A/N: Funny word!)**

"Yes now stop drooling. Your car is just as nice*"

Yes I suppose, it was a Mercedes S55 AMG but still, her car is very nice.

"Fine." I grumbled as I saw the car leave the parking lot.

"So what did you think? " he asked walking to the desk on the right side of the room and he began to gather his things.

"Well your explaination of her singing didn't do it justice. It was incredible." I replied looking at the video camera .

"Yes it is hard to explain." He muttered, sounding distracted , I turned and saw him staring at isabella's folder. I went over and saw him staring at her picture.

Just when I was going to ask what's wrong he said, "That's the most I've ever heard her make noise, much less laugh. I wonder how long it's been since she's laughed like that."

I didn't know how to answer that and a silence soon surrounded us.

It only ended when my cell phone started ringing .

I muttered an excuse me and I stepped out of ther room.

It was Edward.

I opened the phone and before I could even say hello Edward, he said, "I'm going to punch Emmett in the face, that's all you need to know." And then he hung up.

Adam came out with his stuff and he found me staring at my phone with a confused expression.

He asked, "Who was that?" tilting his head to indicate we could start walking now.

"It was Edward." I said simply

"What did he want?"

"To say that I only needed to know that he was going to punch Emmett in the face." I told him

He stopped walking, "That's all?" he asked.

"That's all I needed to know." I shrugged

"Your family is so weird," he said shaking his head as he chuckled and he began walking again.

"Yeah, but I love them anyway." I said laughing lightly, when I thought about what Emmett did to anger Edward enough for him to result to violence, but after a second's thought I thought, _'you know what never mind I don't want to know.' _

We were in the parking lot now walking to his car, when I thought back to Isabella's songs.

**Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken **was a line from the first song, 'Hello'

**Do you remember me; lost for so long **was a line another line from her second song, 'Tourniquet'.

**I'm so tired of being here  
suppressed by all my childish fears…**

**I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**

The first two versus were filled with so much hurt and pain.

'_What does 'My Immortal' stand for?' _I thought.

I was vaguely aware that we were now in the car and going back to Adam's house.

I wasn't sure if Adam was talking or not, my mind was to occupied with trying to figure out the meaning of Isabella's songs.  
What really happened to her?

"Carlisle…Carlisle? Are you okay?" Adam asked waving a hand in front of my face, which brought me back from whatever stupor I was in.

"Yes I'm quite alright, I was just thinking. Sorry." I said.

"Well," he said unconvinced but still continued, "If you say so." He opened his car door and got out. As did I, I walked up the driveway and told Adam I was going to call Esme.

"Send a hello from me." Was all he said.

"You got it." I replied.

**= *~* =**

"How was it!" Esme asked a soon as she answered the phone, which was after half a ring.

"Hello to you as well Esme." I said ignoring her question. What's with my family and not saying hello anymore?

"Oh yeah, Hello. So how was it!" she said getting back to her point.

"It was good." I replied

It was silent on the other end of the line, the she let out her breath in an angry huff.

"You know what I mean," she started "was she really silent?" she asked.

"Yes, yes she is." I said I didn't want to give anything away because I didn't want to explain Isabella's situation more than I absolutely have to.

"Your not going to say anything about the check up are you." She stated, not asked

"Exactly."

"Ugh! So not fair!" she said.

When I was going to reply, I heard a voice clear it's throat on Esme's side followed by some dog imitation of whimpers which then was followed by a resigned sigh by Esme.

"Emmett wants me to tell you to uh his words not mine 'get your old people saving buttocks off of whatever your sitting on and go buy me some of that one stores sweet'n'spicy beef jerky!' and he even was nice enough to write that down for me" the last bit her voice had taken on a bit of sarcasm which I'm sure Emmett wouldn't even care about

"Okay I will but tomorrow, I'm pretty beat. I think I might go to the hospital a little later, Adam said they were missing a doctor."

"Okay, love you." She said.

I said I love you and then we hung up, when I realized my promise to Adam. I quickly opened up a new message on my cell phone and typed out

**Just forgot to mention Adam sends **

**his hello to you and the family****.**

A minute later my phone beeped meaning I had a new message

It read

**Aw how sweet! We send our love as well.**

I didn't send a reply, just laid the phone down on the nightstand. I stood up from the bed and walked out of the room. I ended up in the living room where I turned on the TV and watch a documentary of King Tut.

"Hey Carlisle, Are you okay?" Adam asked shaking my shoulder.

My eyes snapped open and I saw that only light in the room was from the TV.

King Tut was over and now it was showing an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

'_King Tut to Buffy? Wow.'_ I thought as I tried to get my surroundings back.

"What time is it?" I asked, since I didn't have my watch on me.

"It's 6:30, are you okay?" Adam said going around to turn on the light. I winced as the lights came on "Yeah I'm fine, I guess I was just tired."

"It was a new thing for you, so it's understandable" he said.

"Yes I suppose." After a second thought I asked "Do you know where they sell sweet'n'spicy beef jerky by any chance?"

He looked at me for a second with one of his eyebrows lifted, "For Emmett." I said

"Ah okay. Um they sell some at the local Market. They're still open " He told me.

"Okay thanks. I'll be back in a bit." I said getting up from the coach.

"Okay then." He replied, staring at me curiously but didn't ask.

Honestly I was glad he didn't ask because I didn't know what I was feeling...I felt out of it.

In the car I turned on the radio and placed it on a classical station.

I listened to 'Moonlight' as I made my way to the market. I pulled up in the parking lot and for a brief second I thought I saw Isabella's car but when I turned my head in that same direction I saw nothing.

I parked in the first open slot I found and climbed out.

Inside the store it was quiet and lonesome, I only saw a handful of people.

I grabbed one of those shopping baskets and walking into the snack area.

There were a lot of snacks: candy, popcorn, chips, instant soups and more.

I found the beef jerky at the very end of the aisle. I grabbed all of the sweet'n'spicy jerky and decided to browse around the store.

I went to the dairy section to get a gallon of milk since Adam was running low.

I had just placed milk in the basket when I small figure bumped…or well more like crashed into me.

All of the jerky flew out of my basket as I was pushed backwards. There was a thud followed by other soft thuds as they fell to the floor.

I looked at the person for the first time as I opened my mouth to apologize.

It was Isabella…so I was right! That was her car.

"I'm sorry, I was in the way. Are you okay?" I said taking a step closer and bending down to gather up her items.

Raw chicken, Angel hair pasta and some different types of cheese were the closest things to me; by Isabella was some bag's of hot cheetos, takis, and packs of different gums and lollipops which she was also starting to pick up, shaking her head.

She looked up and mouthed '_Sorry'_

"It's quite alright. You were in a hurry I assume."

She nodded her head and reached her hand out when I offered her, her things. She placed them in her basket and them reached out to gather my scattered bags of jerky.

"Thank you." I said placing them in my own.

Standing up, I held out my hand for Isabella to take, but she ignored it.

"It was nice talking to you, outside of a doctors room." I said.

She opened her mouth but snapped it close and just nodded her head, biting her lower lip.

She raised her hand and waved then turned away.

I waved back even though she couldn't see and walked to an open cashier.

As she rang up my items I thought about the things in Isabella's basket. I wondered what they were for. Then a little voice in my head yelled at me _'stop being so nosey and overanalyzing everything!' _which I thought was very rude because I didn't think I was overanalyzing everything…was I?

"That will be $8.20," the cashier said bringing me out of my thoughts.

I smiled and handed her a $20 and said, "Keep the change."

As I walked out of the market I heard the cashier yell a thanks.

**~*~*~**

Early Sunday morning as I walked to my car Adam said to me, " I really hope you can come and help Isabella."

"Me too, let's hope the family agrees with moving." I told him.

"Yes I hope so. It was nice seeing you again Carlisle despite the situation that brought you here."

"Yes it was nice." I said back, popping the trunk open and placing the suitcase in there. I didn't put the extra bag in there. It had the video camera and the beef jerky.

"Well then I should get going. I'll call you with the family' decision." I said to Adam extending my hand out.

Shaking it with his Adam said, "I'll be waiting."

I got in the car and started it. Giving Adam one last wave good bye I pulled out of the driveway and started my way out of Forks.

*******

It was about 11:45p.m. When I got back to LA. I was here a few hours earlier than I expected. There was very little traffic.

I turned off the car when I got into the driveway and just sat there for a bit. How can I make my family understand? Should I show them the folder first or the video. Or the video then the folder. Or at the same time?

"Ugh" I said loudly to no one in particular and dropped my head on to the steering wheel. Only to jump away when the horn started blaring.

'_My bad.'_ I thought hoping I didn't wake the neighbors or worse Rosalie…when she say's she needs her beauty sleep she's not kidding

I stayed still for a moment and the outside world stayed silent and still. Releasing the breath I didn't know I was holding I opened the car door, reaching over to the bag where the camera and jerky were.

I stepped out of the car and walked to the front door, I felt myself relax like I always did whenever I come home whether it's from work or anything really.

I open the door silently and close it behind me, I let my eyes adjust to the dark room; when they did I open the bag carefully bring out Emmett's jerky and place them on the table a few feet away from the door, before I walk up the stairs and up onto the second floor.

I walked to our room, gently opened the door and leaned against the edge as I stared at Esme's sleeping face that shined a bit red from the alarm clocks light. I noticed that she had a small smile on her face and I finally walked into the room shutting the door behind me.

I moved around as quietly as I could so I didn't wake Esme.

After I finished changing and brushed my teeth I walked to the bed lightly moved the covers off of my side and climbed in.

I got comfortable and as I closed my eyes I felt Esme scoot closer to me and in response I wrapped one of my arms around her small frame.

"Welcome back." I heard her whisper.

"Glad to be back." I said giving her a small squeeze.

I looked back on the day and decided that I would show them the folder first and end with the video.

So I got the presentation figured out… I just need to convince the family.

I hope I can pull this off, I thought and let my mind and body be consumed with much needed sleep

* * *

**Hope you guys liked it!**

**BY THE WAY IT IS GOING TO BE EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!**

**Review!!!!**

**or not!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey I'm back sorry it took so long to update!**  
**That's all i really wanted to say, so ON WARD WITH THE READING!**

**P.S. Sorry for any mistakes!**  
**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! i'm to freaking poor for that!**

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**Chapter 5**

**Edward's P.o.v.**

**Friday morning**

"Emmett, Leave the piano alone." Alice warned Emmett as he sat down on the bench with a giant glass of soda. All day long he has been bugging the shit out of me. I asked him why about 2 hours ago and he said, "Because it's national Annoy Edweirdo Day… Duh!" and with that he went to my room and jumped on my bed. I had shaken my head at him and walked out. He would get annoyed if I didn't show him that he was getting under my skin and stop this stupid holiday.

But now after him dropping my cup of juice on the floor, trashing my room, 'reorganizing' my CD's and fucking popping up in my face when I least expect it. I can feel my patience wearing thin.

Emmett and soda with my piano… it's a bad thing waiting to happen.

"Alice…Chill!" He started, "I got this!" he added doing his impersonation of George Lopez.

"Uh huh…sure, but when Edward tries to kick your sorry ass you better not go running to hide behind me or mom." Alice sassed rolling her eyes at him and turning her attention back to the magazine she was previously reading.

As for me I was staring at the back of his head, randomly thinking why I didn't have superpowers so I could shoot laser beams out of my eyes.

After a while and Emmett still not fucking up I walked to the couch and turned on the TV.

"Rosalie!" Alice called at one point shooting up from couch.

"What?" She complained coming down the stairs looking really hilarious with her facial gunk on her face.

"Victoria secret's is having a mega monster sale!" Alice yelled jumping up and down, causing me to cringe away.

I didn't really like the fact that my little sister was wearing really sexy; I'm guessing, things under her clothing. I would rather rinse my head out with bleach…okay I'm exaggerating but still you get the idea.

"No way! Let me go clean my face and we're out of here!" Rosalie said running back up the stairs.

Shaking my head I turned back to the TV and flipped to some music channel.

"Bye guys! Emmett don't piss Edward off!" Alice yelled from the front door before slamming it closed. A few seconds later you could hear the tires squeal out of the driveway.

_What's so great about shopping for bras?_ I thought dryly.

It was showing a Never Shout Never music video for 'Happy' when suddenly I heard Emmett cuss and something fall on the floor.

Praying Emmett didn't fuck up my piano I turned around slowly and saw what looked like Emmett trying climb up on to it.

I raised an eyebrow when Emmett met my eyes, he smiled nervously and I could some soda dripping from the piano keys.

I started shaking my head while I glared at Emmett and said, "Idiot."

Turning off the TV I got up off the couch and started walking towards the stairs.

"Uh…Edward? I'm sorry?" Emmett called out, but I was done listening.

I went inside my room slamming the door and locking it as I did so. I got my cell phone and dialed my dad's number.

It rang about 3 times before he answered I cut him off before he could say anything by saying, "I'm going to punch Emmett in the face, that's all you need to know." And I hung up. Throwing my phone to my black leather couch that was up against the back wall of the room, I plopped down on my bed and closed my eyes.

"Edward-o!" My eyes snapped open, as Emmett barged in my room throwing the door open and letting it slam into the wall.

"What?" I grumbled rubbing my left eye and wondering how the heck he got inside when I remember locking it.

"I thought you were dead so I came to find you." Is all that he said as he jumped on my bed again.

"C'mon! Get up, I'm bored and Jasper is still with mom. Lets go play games!"

Grinding my teeth I muttered, "Why should I?"

"Because you love me." He stated nudging the side of my stomach with his shoe.

"Or so you think." I muttered once more but started getting up, as I remember what he did to my piano. And since he was Emmett, he probably didn't clean it up.

"Yay! Eddie's gonna play with Emmett!" He yelled out as re ran out of my room and left me standing there seriously wondering whether I should make him take an IQ test.

I started walking down the stairs then went straight towards my piano.

All my angry towards Emmett from today came rushing to the front of my mind and I felt my hands ball up into fists as I saw that not only did he leave the soda, but also he added candy wrappers to the mess. Idiot.

"Hey Eddie, wanna go to the movies?" Emmett asked taking a drink as he walked to me and draped his arm across my shoulders.

"Emmett." I started trying to keep calm.

"Yo."

Rolling my eyes I said, "Why is my piano covered in candy wrappers."

"Because I ate all the candy." He replied

"But why, couldn't you have used the trash can."

"…Oh because I wanted to write you a note." He smiled his stupid smile and raised his eyebrows a couple of times.

Shaking my head I walked out of his arm and went to the piano, he really did write a note. It said 'Edweirdo day!'

Okay, okay… I know violence isn't the answer and I probably should have thought about it more carefully but I didn't.

I turned around to see Emmett there with his thumbs up smiling even bigger than normal.

I snapped, I lunged towards his face and smiled darkly when I heard my fist connect with his face, or more like eye. Emmett not expecting my reaction didn't have time to regain his balance and he went tumbling down, the exact same time I heard Esme yell out "Edward!" and Alice and the rest of them start laughing.

Fuck.

So here I am now stuck on the couch having to listen to Esme lecture me about my thoughts from earlier and how violence wasn't the answer.

She only stopped long enough to let me cut in and say, "Emmett self proclaimed today Edweirdo day and has been bugging the shit out of me all day and he poured soda on my piano."

"Language mister." She said her glare intensifying a bit.

I winced slightly and said, "Sorry. Emmett has been annoying me all day. Better?"

Sighing she sat down next to me and said, "Yes it is,"

I frowned, even though she wasn't my real mother, she was my mother in all intents and purposes and I didn't like making her sad.

"Hey…if it makes you feel better…Emmett has a hard head. My hand still hurts."

Hearing that I was somewhat injured She jumped into action, taking my hand into hers and looking at it, then she took my other and hand muttered "This one is swollen… Oh dear. I'll be right back"

As Esme was walking out of the living room Emmett walked in.

I started laughing; he was holding a steak to his eye. Alice came in after him, and shook her head as he sat down on the far end side of the couch and started pouting.

She stood in front of us with a disapproving look on her face.

"I told you to leave the piano alone…do you listen… Ah No!" She scolded Emmett shaking her pointer finger to him.

"And you!" she continued her scolding on me now causing me to jump back a bit, "I'm so proud!" she finished by jumping on top of me and squeezing me in a hug.

"Um…what?" I asked chuckling while I patted her back.

"Where did you learn to punch like that?" she asked

"Yeah where did you learn!" Emmett echoed.

Shrugging I said, " I never said I didn't know how."

"That's not a real answer." Alice informed me.

"Yeah well that's the one you're going to get." I said.

"Okay, okay" She said getting off of my lap as Esme came back with an ice pack.

"Thanks." I said taking the pack and placing it on my right hand.

"Emmett." Esme said, placing her hands on her waist, "You're grounded"

"Aw! But-"

"No, No but's from you now up to your room, no TV or games for a week. That's what you get for antagonizing your brother." She cut him off, raising her eyebrow as if daring him to object.

Which he didn't, thank god. Esme is a gentle being, except when she's mad.

Pouting Emmett made his way to the stairs then started stomping each step as he went up.

A few seconds later we heard his door slam closed.

Rolling her eyes Esme raised her eyebrow at me now and said, "Let me see your hand."

Her eyebrows came together as she frowned and said, "Keep the ice on and take an pain killer. I'm going to my room." And she went the stairs.

"C'mon, let's go." Alice said grabbing my hand and pulling me.

"Aw why!" I whined but let her pull me up.

"Your piano is sticky, and that's not go for it." She reasoned as we walked into the kitchen and to the cabinets under the sink.

Taking out 2 rags and the piano cleaner **(A/N: I don't know if there is a piano cleaner but if there isn't…let's pretend!) **we walked back to the piano and silently we both started cleaning it. Alice starting humming the beginning notes to pachelbel's canon.

Smiling, I went to the bench and started were she left off causing her give a giggle.

She came to sit next to me and started to sway lightly to the music.

It hurt my hand a bit but I kept playing.

It was about 11:30 when I started getting ready for bed and when I was about to go to sleep my last thought was, _Emmett…you have hard head._

**Monday morning.**

"Edward wake up!" a voice chimed in my ear and I knew it was Alice.

Grumbling but not replying I turned away from her.

But she wasn't having that because next thing I know all the air is forced out of me.

"Get up! Dad's back!" She yelled jumping on my back continuously

"Al-A -Alice!"

The torture on my back stopped.

"Yes." She said sounding innocent and I could practically hear her eyes blinking faster to add to the innocence.

"I'm awake."

"Oh good! Well go take a shower while I find your outfit." She said jumping on my back once more the hopping to the floor.

Getting up I said, "I'm perfectly capable of throwing some pants and a t-shirt together."

Alice was already going threw my closet but stopped when finished talking, turning around with a small glare she said, "Did you hear yourself when you just spoke? You have no respect for clothing," she started shaking her head exasperated, "NO you don't know how so march to the bathroom."

"Alice," I started but she cut me off.

"I said March!"

"Oh…gosh." I said but complied. On my way I heard Alice muttered "Him and His disrespect of fashion! Not on my watch!" I chuckled and started undressing

True to her words Alice had an outfit laid out on my bed.

A black and green plaid button up along with some washed out jeans and my favorite pair of black vans.

After dressing and attempting to do something with my hair but instead just giving up and just running my hand through it, I started down the stairs.

As I walked into the living room I saw that everyone was sitting around the coffee table, looking towards Carlisle I asked, "What's going on?"

Looking somewhat nervous Carlisle flashed a glanced at Rosalie before saying, "There's something I need to talk to the family about." I walked to the edge of the couch to see that they were looking at a folder.

I said nothing but I did raise an eyebrow at Carlisle trying to understand why he gave Rosalie a glance.

"What's that?" I asked leaning forward.

"Well Edwina" Emmett started turning towards me with a glare but was cut off by Esme clearing her throat, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop from laughing at Emmett's new edition.

"Edward, come look at this." Alice said reaching around Emmett to tug on my sleeve.

"Well, what is it?" I asked squeezing between Emmett and the end of the couch.

Alice not answering simply pushed the folder towards me.

The first thing I saw was the picture. There was a girl who had dark brunette hair with pale alabaster skin. She wasn't smiling but she wasn't necessarily frowning, she looked annoyed to be honest. Her eyes gave me a bit of a shock.

They were brown but they didn't seem flat and boring like browns eyes were usually known for, hers looked deep and full of secrets.

I finally looked away and saw there was a bit of personal information, and it was then that I realized that this was a medical folder.

"What's this about?" I asked turning towards Carlisle but Alice cut in and said:

"Just read, then we can watch the video." Looking annoyed, she didn't like to wait long, so I knew I better listen to her and start reading.

4 minutes later I knew that is girl in the picture was names Isabella, she was only a few months younger than me and that she's had about 5 doctors work on her 'case' but each gave up when they realized she was incurable…though it doesn't say specifically I had a feeling it wasn't a life fatal illness they were referring to.

"So, What's wrong with her?" I asked my eyes, on their own accord of course, flashed to her picture.

Looking away and towards Carlisle I saw that he looked a tad nervous. Which I found somewhat odd because he was always the calm one.

"Well as you all know Adam called me and said he had something very important to talk about, but that it would be better to have the conversation in person." He started.

We all nodded waiting to hear more.

"Alright, so what he wanted to talk about was his newest patient, Izzy. She's had about 5 doctors in the last 3 to 4 years."

"What's wrong with her, anyway?" Emmett being…well Emmett interrupted., "She doesn't look like she's gonna be hitting it up at the club's with God anytime soon."

Making a face at Emmett's choice of words Carlisle said, "Your right, she's not dying. But Adam does think she is on the path of ruining her life."

"Is she on drugs?" Jasper asked tilting his head.

"Oh…No," Carlisle stammered caught off guard by the question but then regained his calm and saying, "She doesn't talk."

"Like…ever?" Alice said voicing our, well my, thoughts.

"To a certain extent yes, she doesn't speak ever." He answered.

"You said to a certain extent though." Jasper asked noticing the way Carlisle chose his words.

"I know. it's confusing. You see Isabella, Or Izzy, as she prefers to be called doesn't talk or make much or any noise at all. It's been that way for a few years' now. Adam is at his wit's end trying to find out how to make her talk, so far all he's been doing is weekly check-ups to make sure her vocal cords are still functioning and they are."

"Wait," Now I spoke up, "If she doesn't talk then how does he know? X-rays can't possibly tell him that…can they?"

"No, they can't but 3 years ago her parents came home from a date or something like that and they heard her singing, so naturally when they raced up to her room and asked questions which she didn't bother answering, they took her to the hospital demanding to know what was wrong with her."

"So…she doesn't talk, but she sings?" Emmett summed up.

"Yeah, okay…what's with the video camera?" Alice asked.

"Adam asked me to join him to the check-up, which are every Friday. So I agreed and I recorded the…" He paused probably looking for the right word to use.

"I guess you could call it a session."

"Okay, we got that. So will you show it?" Alice said with a bit of irritation in her tone. She didn't like things to be prolonged when they don't need to be.

"I suppose." Carlisle said and went to the TV to change a few things and pressed play.

"I got the lights." Alice chimed rushing to turn them off before getting back to her position.

The camera was off focus for a few seconds then adjusted itself, to show a girl, Izzy obviously, wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a black shirt with the words 'Feel the music' on it along with some black converse high tops that had dice designs on them.

She wasn't looking directly into the camera but at someone outside the shot, my guesses were on Dr. Lopez.

She looked at him then tilted her head to what looked like a stage, even though it looked like she as in a hospital room.

"Oh whenever you're ready you can start," We heard Dr. Lopez say.

Nodding Izzy walked to the furthest end of the stage. We couldn't see anything other than her raising her arms, before walking to the stage where there was a microphone.

She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes just as the first notes began playing.

She opened her mouth slightly and began to sing.

_**Playground school bell rings again**_  
_**Rain clouds come to play again**_  
_**has no one told you she's not breathing?**_  
_**Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to**_  
_**Hello**_

I glanced around the room and everyone had a reaction on their faces.

Esme frowning a bit, Alice staring wide-eyed as well as Emmett, though he kept munching on his jerky.

Jasper well he looked like…jasper; calm.

Rosalie was staring at the TV with a blank face but you could tell she was impressed.

_**If I smile and don't believe**_  
_**Soon I know I'll wake from this dream**_  
_**Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken**_  
_**Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide**_  
_**Don't cry**_

_**Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping  
Hello I'm still here  
All that's left of yesterday  
**_

The final piano note faded out but she didn't open her eyes.

The next song started immediately and it had an eerie feel to it before transitioned to electric guitar playing,

_**I tried to kill the pain  
but only brought more  
so much more  
I lay dying  
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?**__**  
**_

"Wow." Alice whispered her eyes widening.

**_My God my tourniquet_**  
**_return to me salvation_**  
**_my God my tourniquet_**  
**_return to me salvation_**

"I know." Emmett whispered back, finally leaving the bag of jerky and placing it on the coffee table next to the folder

_**Do you remember me  
lost for so long  
will you be on the other side  
or will you forget me  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?  
**_

_**My God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation  
my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation**_

I want to die!

"Oh dear." Esme muttered obviously fretting about the words.

_**My God my tourniquet**_  
_**return to me salvation**_  
_**my God my tourniquet**_  
_**return to me salvation**_

_**my wounds cry for the grave**_  
_**my soul cries for deliverance**_  
_**will I be denied Christ**_  
_**tourniquet**_  
_**my suicide.**_

The last words faded slowly with violins ending the song, I felt a chill run through me as I wondered how she got the inspiration for this song.

"How many more songs?" I asked out loud

"This is the last one, "Carlisle answered just a soft piano melody started.

Looking back at the screen I saw that she looked not necessarily sad, but more like resigned _**  
**_

_**I'm so tired of being here**_  
_**Suppressed by all my childish fears**_  
_**And if you have to leave**_  
_**I wish that you would just leave**_  
_**'Cause your presence still lingers here**_  
_**And it won't leave me alone**_

_**These wounds won't seem to heal**_  
_**This pain is just too real**_  
_**There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**_  
_**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_  
_**And I held your hand through all of these years**_  
_**But you still have**_  
_**All of me**_

"It' so sad." Rosalie now muttered.

_**You used to captivate me**_  
_**By your resonating light**_  
_**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**_  
_**Your face it haunts**_  
_**My once pleasant dreams**_  
_**Your voice it chased away**_  
_**All the sanity in me**_

_**These wounds won't seem to heal**_  
_**This pain is just too real**_  
_**There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

_**[Chorus]**_

_**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**_  
_**But though you're still with me**_  
_**I've been alone all along**_

_**[Chorus]**_

We all stayed quite as her voice gently faded away.

She opened her eyes and just stared, she must have been looking at Dr. Lopez because again her gaze wasn't focused on the camera.

Then we heard Dr. Lopez say,"Wasn't it you who said that gawking was rude a while back…you should take you advice before you start drooling and say something." Then the screen went blue.

"Wow." Alice repeated.

"Yeah." Emmett seconded.

"That was so sad." Esme said lightly wiping away a few stray tears.

"She doesn't talk, but she sings." Jasper repeated Emmett's words from earlier.

"Yeah she's good but that does any of this have to do with us?" Rosalie asked crossing her arms and leaning back against her chair.

"What did you think Edward." Alice asked.

Shrugging I said, ""She was good, but I'm with Rosalie where do we fit in."

All of our heads turned to Carlisle.

"Adam has been Izzy's doctor for a while now but he doesn't know what to do anymore and he would like me to overtake the job of being her doctor, but it would require us to move to forks." He said,

"No way!" Alice and Rosalie said but the tone of their voices differing extremely.

"Oh C'mon Rosalie! It would be fun!" Alice said her eyes shining with excitement.

Sneering Rosalie said, "The only reason you want to leave is so you won't be a loner anymore."

"That's not true." Alice said looking hurt.

"Please we all know you would take any chance to get away from the people who don't like you, but I happen to like it here! We're not moving!" Rosalie said looking absolutely livid.

"Rosie, babe calm down." Emmett said looking serious, which didn't happen every often.

"No, don't you dare tell me what to do Emmett. Why should my life be ruined for some stupid brat who decided she wasn't going to talk anymore." She continued glaring Alice down.

"Rosalie," Esme warned her eyes flashing between both girls.

"Rosalie, it would be a cool experience! There's nothing wrong with moving!" Alice said trying to get her side out.

Rosalie's blue eyes darkened as she spoke with a cold indifference, "Please, we all know why you would want to leave. But it's not like that for everyone."

Her words struck Alice hard, making her lips quiver in an attempt to stop from wanting to cry.

Alice looked away from Rosalie and found comfort in jaspers arms as he gently sat her down on his lap and started rubbing her back.

"That's a low blow Rosalie." I said speaking up.

"Oh shut the fuck up Edward, "Rosalie shook her head in disgust, " Always acting like her bodyguard. It's not my fault they like me better."

"They like you better because you're a blonde haired, cold blue eyed, wanna be bitch of a so called princess." Now I was the one who shook their head in disgust, "Instead of standing up for your family, you side by those who hurt and torture them."

Rosalie gasped and looked at Emmett saying with in complete outright shock and anger, "Are you going to let him talk to me like that!"

Shrugging Emmett calmly said, "Yeah I mean I'm fine with moving. If dad thinks he can seriously help Izzy then who are we to stop him from doing something that he's so passionate about. Besides helping Izzy, it would help Alice. She should be able to start enjoying her high school years. I don't see a problem with that. So yes, I am going to let Edward talk to you like that."

Freshmen year, Alice came home crying after the first day of school. No one liked her, so the only real friends she has is us.

Everyone else managed to make friends except me, but that was by choice but still the kids liked me. With Alice they alienate her and torture her, which is where the bodyguard comment comes into play.

By the 3rd time I found Alice crying on her bed, the next morning I went to school and had my entire schedule changed to match Alice's to ease the bullying. Jasper and Emmett would have done the same, if it weren't for them being a grade higher then us. So they settled to changing their 2nd lunch to 1st lunch so all three of us could be with her.

"…Oh my god! You're serious! No my vote is no. I'm not moving!" She yelled in frustration.

"Well that doesn't matter. Majority rules and Esme's vote counts for two so either way the moving vote wins." Alice commented.

Rolling her eyes Rosalie started to yell, "Alice shut the fu-"

Before Esme cut in saying, "Rosalie you finish that sentence and I will have your credit cards cancelled for half a year. Alice is your sister and you will treat her as such. ." I coughed into my hand to hide the fact that I had a huge ass smile on my face, so I wouldn't get into trouble.

"This is your father's meeting, we are here to listen to what he has to say then we can vote," Esme glared, not standing to see us fight any longer.

"Fine, but my vote is no, she's probably some attention obsessed brat anyway." She said sitting down and turning her attention to her nails.

I rolled my eyes and sat down as well, having stood up some time between our squabble.

Alice caught my glance and whispered, "Thank you." In return I simply shrugged and turned to Carlisle.

"Well that was interesting, to say the least." Carlisle coughed awkwardly before standing up straighter and becoming the confident and calm Carlisle we all know.

"Adam has asked me to over take Isabella's check-up's. I do believe that I could help, I'm not sure how but I truly believe moving to Forks would help."

"I vote yes! Absolutely yes!" Alice said commencing the vote.

"I vote yes as well." Jasper quietly said from his seat.

"Hell yeah! Let's help those in need!" Emmett said his previous seriousness completely forgotten. Sadly.

"Esme?" Alice asked turning towards her.

"Yes, It would be a great start for you and it could help Isabella... I mean Izzy. Um honey why does she have two names?" Esme asked Carlisle.

"Her birth name is Isabella, but she makes people call her Izzy." He answered, which Emmett once again summed up,

"So she hates her name."

"I guess." Carlisle shrugged.

"Can we move on now." Rosalie bitched out.

"You can leave Rosalie, no one's forcing you to stay." I glared.

Matching mine with a glare of her own she said, "Fine, I will." Slamming her arms against the chairs armrests before standing up and stomping away.

"Babe!" Emmett called out before looking at us and saying, "I've said my vote. I'll try to calm her down."

Leaving the living Emmett said, "Rosie C'mon!"

Seconds later we heard Rosalie yell, "Don't touch me Emmett Cullen!"

"Edward? What do you think?" Esme asked breaking the awkward silence that came over us.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I thought about it.

I mean honestly did I want to move, no not really. But on the other hand, I did agree with Emmett, surprisingly, what kind of family would we be if we stopped Carlisle from doing something he seems so passionate about. If I voted no then there would be a huge chance that he wouldn't take the job, and Alice wouldn't get her fresh start.

I selfishly thought for a few seconds, _why should I have to pick up all my things that I've come to know here and be uprooted by some girl we have in no way a link of kin to._ Before realizing just how much I sounded like Rosalie.

Deciding not be selfish, I cleared my throat and only said

"Who would I be to stop you from doing something you feel so passionate about."

Carlisle nodded his head and said, "Thank you."

It was quite for only a second before Alice stood up and threw her hands up in the air yelling, "We're moving! We're moving!"

Everyone laughed at her antics, and started standing up. So I took this as my chance to go to my room since evidently the meeting was adjourned.

The rest of the day passed on rather uneventful. Rosalie was stilled pissed off so she spent most of the day locked up in her room. I was quieter than normal but no one asked me anything.

After dinner I went back up to my room and choose to sit on my couch rather then my bed and listen to music.

My stereo was playing, I write sins not tragedies by Panic! At the Disco when there was a knock on my door.

Lowering the volume and then throwing the remote back onto the couch I unlocked the door and saw Esme standing there looking somewhat bashful.

"Uh…Hey?" I smiled and stepped aside to let her come in.

"Thank you." She said walking and sitting down on the couch.

Following her example I sat down next to her and asked, "What's up?"

Smiling sadly she said, "You didn't have to yes."

"What do you mean?" I asked running a hand through my hair.

"Your father and Alice would have understood if you said no." She explained taking my hands and holding them with hers.

"It was nothing." I shrugged feeling awkward for some reason, though I'm not sure why.

"Well either way it was very kind of you. That's all I really wanted to say. So good night" Esme said standing up kissing my forehead and heading for the door.

"Esme?" I called out as she left my view

Coming back and leaning against the doorframe she asked, "Yes?"

"I couldn't have not said yes." I said, my thoughts going back to Isabella's picture and singing.

* * *

So that's all! What did you think!

if i got some of the characters wrong i'm sorry, i'll to work on that

**Review please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey! i'm finally back i'm sorry for the wait. and it's a short chapter this time only 6 microsoft word pages. Oh well, i hope you like it. i worked really hard.  
I mean i might fail out of my spanish class with my F- but if the readers(a certain one) wants me to update already i guess it doesn't really matter.**

**Okay yeah the fuck right, i can honestly type that when i read the review i was like who the fuck do you think you are telling me when to fucking update. But then i laughed whatever. I'm not mad, it's all cool.**

**Anyway!  
ON WITH THE READING!**

* * *

As I finished writing down the last word to my newest song my cell phone started ringing, internally groaning at the interruption I dug it out of my pocket and looked at the caller ID; Renée

Sighing out a silent breath I accepted the call knowing that it was important since she hardly ever calls me. For the obvious reason.

"…Izzy? Did you pick up?" She asked her voice clearing showing the discomfort she was feeling.

Taking pity on her I took the phone away from my ear, putting it on speaker then banging my free hand against the table.

I heard her sigh with relief a second later before she started talking again,

"Izzy, Dr. Lopez called a few minutes ago saying that he needed you to go to his office when you get the chance today."

I stayed silent.

"Well that's all I needed to tell you, goodbye sweetheart. Be careful you know how your father and I feel about you being in Seattle for a long time." She said then hung up.

Pulling my bottom lip into my mouth chewing on it thoughtfully I wondered why Dr. Lopez would need to see me on a Wednesday.

It had been a week now since the unexpected visitor named, Dr. Cullen had dropped by on my appointment, and other than bumping into him in the super market, if you could it that since it wasn't super at all, I haven't seen or (by Dr. Lopez) heard from him again.

Looking around me in my recording studio, though it was a tad bigger than most, I made a face not yet wanting to leave. This was my safe heaven, well one of them. It had great acoustics for everything. I had most of my instruments here, including my baby grand piano.

It had a high ceiling with lots of windows so the lighting was always at it's best. Well during the day anyway. No one has ever been here besides me; this is a personal place for me and only me. It's where I record all of my songs. I bought some of the professional recording equipment also and had it all set up here.

Opening up my phone I saw that it was about 4:30. I've only been here for about an hour and a half

Now I didn't skip school oh no, I simply just left school during lunch (which was around 11:45) ditching my last 3 classes of the day.

Figuring that I could just come back tomorrow I started packing up my things making sure to put everything back in its place and I walked out of the studio.

While I was looking for the key I heard Jimmy's voice call out from 2 doors down,

"Hey there, Izzy!"

Turning towards Jimmy I gave a half-hearted wave just as I found the keys.

"Going home now?" The old chubby man said, he was 73 years old, and happens to be the owner of the other buildings. He used to own my studio but I gave a pretty good bargain for it.

I nodded, slipping the key back into my backpack after locking up.

He gave an old throaty chuckle and said, "Still not talking?"

I gave him a shrug and a shake of my head.

"Well we're going to have to work on that aren't we?" he laughed "A girl with a voice like yours shouldn't punish the world by not talking." I silently chuckled at the old man, rolling my eyes at him before giving him another wave before heading for my car. He used to drop by for a few minutes randomly to see if I wasn't doing any drugs or making them for that matter. But once he realized that I really was using the studio in legal way he backed off with the unexpected visits

"Bye Izzy!" He called out just as I got in the car.

Plugging in my iPod to the car's dock I turned it to some alternative.

I put the car in drive as 'I write sins not tragedies' by Panic! At the disco started playing. Even though I was listening to the music in the car I couldn't help but block out the song and focus on my own, running the words through my head and careful picking, which instruments would go best with the song.

It was about 7pm when I passed the old and chipping 'Welcome to Forks' sign.

I drove straight past the hospital and headed straight home, deciding to walk back to the hospital since it wasn't raining today. I turned off the car once I parked in the driveway, and then took my out iPod out of the dock. Slipping it into my pocket, I got out of the car and immediately started walking back towards the hospital. I didn't want to risk letting Renée or Charlie seeing me, though most of my precaution was for Charlie.

Ever since the day he hit me I've been ignoring him, walking out of the room when he would walk into it and so on. I wasn't mad at him... that much. I just don't want to look at his face.

Putting on my earphones and pulling my stripped black and white sweaters hood over my head I got my iPod back out.

I started running through my purchased songs, not having a bit of desire to listen to one of my own. I randomly choose a song without looking at the screen.

'Somewhere I belong' by Linkin Park started playing as I crossed the first street. Looking both ways, though there wasn't a real point in doing it since the streets were abandoned, I continued walking. Looking up at the sky I notice that the clouds where rolling in, their colors in between the normal dreary gray to almost black, giving the empty streets an ominous feel to it.

…Damn watch out, I sound like the fucking 21 century Edgar Allen Poe right now.

Rolling my eyes at my own stupid ness I changed the song and even without looking I knew in just 3 seconds into the song that it was 'Give Me A Sign' by Breaking Benjamin.

"Hey Izzy!" Jenny smiled "Dr. Lopez is in his office. Go right ahead."

I nodded walking pasted her. When I was out of her sight I rolled my eyes.

Obviously I was going to go to his office, it's not like I needed her approval. Okay so I was a bit cranky, I didn't get enough sleep last night…not that I normally do and the fact that I was interrupted in my space for something I bet was really stupid wasn't alright with me.

I walked up to the door that read 'Dr. Lopez' and knocked once gently; I didn't do it to be polite or anything I just don't like being loud…obviously.

"Izzy." Dr. Lopez said as he opened the door.

I walked in as he stepped aside and sat down in one of the light tan sofa chairs he had in here.

"Thank you for coming here on such short notice. I need to talk to you about something important."

I waited.

"Remember when Dr. Cullen dropped by to see your check-up?"

I nodded.

"He didn't just drop by randomly I asked him to come here from LA."

Looking at him I noticed that he looked more drained then normal. I continued to look at his face, the tiredness of it making his entire appearance look older then his actual age of 41. I continued looking at him, patiently waiting for him to get to the point, and he realized that, but what he said left me blank.

"I'm no longer going to be your doctor. I've asked Dr. Cullen to take my place seeing as though I feel as if you haven't made progress with the time I've been with you."

"Oh' I mouthed unsure of what I should say. Honestly it felt a bit awkward, and I thought about when I was walking to the office how I thought this meeting would be absolutely pointless…I was wrong.

"Dr. Cullen will be meeting with you sometime this week. As for your weekly check-ups those will still be continued until he decides against them." He continued organizing some paper on his desk.

I wasn't sad, but I wasn't mad either… actually I was annoyed at myself. I was used to the doctors giving up on me, leaving after the first few weeks, but Dr. Lopez is the one that lasted the longest. I unknowingly let myself get used to his constant presence in the hospital, and now he was leaving.

I started biting my lip, looking at my hands as they toyed around with my iPod. I waited for Dr. Lopez to continue, but when he didn't I looked up and saw that he was already staring at me with a pensive look on his face.

He opened his mouth but decided against it was whatever he wanted to say, he cleared his throat and stood up.

"That's all I needed to discuss with you. Thank you for coming." The formal tone in his voice made it clear that it was time for me to go.

I stood up stiffly and nodded my head, heading to door, but hesitating to open it.

Turning around I signed 'Thank you.' Then finally walked out of the room.

I fell into a haze barely managing to hear Jenny say her good-bye. I walked outside and relished in the feel of the cold air lightly sailing across my face.

The day's natural light had dimmed since when I entered the hospital, but it didn't stop me from walking into the empty streets. I pulled up my hood as I felt the first few drops of rain sprinkle over my head, and got out my iPod, covering it so it wouldn't get wet with one hand and making my way to 'Shuffle Songs'

Oddly enough "Numb' by Linkin Park flowed but it wasn't the real version, it was the one I recorded with all piano.

The soothing tempo of the song relaxed my body as I walked slower then earlier, back home.

I got my phone out to check the time and saw that it was 7:56pm. Time went by fast in Dr. Lopez's office this time, usually I felt like the minutes dragged on.

I kept walking as the song played, watching, as the sky got darker and darker by the minute, the rain falling down harder, but not enough to soak me to the bone.

A sudden light made me flinch as it stung my eyes but I looked up and as cheesy as it's gonna sound, everything went into slow motion. The wind started blowing my hair, whipping it wildly across my face as I stopped walking to see where the sudden light was coming from. I managed to realized that a new song had started, some of the words which had been a soft murmur now becoming crystal clear just as I saw that the source had been coming from a car.

You've decided there is so much more than me.  
And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake.  
I brought a gun and as the preacher tried to stop me.  
Hold my heart it's beating for you anyway.

I met a startling pair of green eyes in the driver's side of silver car just for a few seconds before I looked away, the lyrics and the intensity of the eyes being a bit too much.

Someone must have finished having his or her fun with me because then everything came back to present time, the only reminder of what just occurred was by the rock that managed to hit my shin as said car sped away, leaving the road in its peaceful darkness.

If I only I could feel that way.

My heart was pounding and my face felt strangely hot, and my shin was throbbing slightly, but other then that I was a-okay…yeah sure lets go with that.

I got my iPod and pushed the forward button, wanting the song out of my head. I sighed with relief as I heard the acoustic notes of Breaking Benjamin's 'Blow Me Away' started.

I made it back to the house without anymore incident, except for the few times I tripped.

"Izzy? Is that you?" Renée called out, I could hear her footsteps getting closer so I didn't bother answering.

"Oh good, your back. Did Dr. Lopez tell you what he wanted?" She asked smiling patiently; I didn't bother pretending to smile back. This was her fake smile, she smiles because she thinks everything will go back to normal, as she puts it.

I nodded and started going to climb up the stairs.

"Well, what was it?" She continued her voice full of curiosity,

I silently sighed and took my foot off of the first step. I turned towards Renée and mouthed, "You're going to have to sign your checks to a Dr. Cullen from now on."

Her brows came together and she asked, "Why?"

"Dr. Lopez doesn't think I'm making progress. He gave up." I signed making sure to go a bit slower for Renée's sake.

Her confusion turned into pity as the letters formed words in her head.

"I'm so sorry Isa- "She stopped catching herself before starting again, "Uh I mean Izzy,"

I just shrugged and finally started back up the stairs, ignoring Renée as she called out, "If you want to talk I'm here!"

Once in my room I unzipped my sweater and threw it on my bed along with my gir cupcake attack shirt. I walked to my closest; I wore two shirts today, the one I just threw off and my black undershirt.

I rummaged through my shirts until I found my white baggy shirt that had a black skull and cross bones and put it on.

I slipped out of my jeans and stumbled over to my dresser, I opened the second the cabinet thing and got out a pair of dark denim shorts.

After changing my shoes from high tops to normal converse I went down stairs again and slipped out the front door without my parents seeing me.

I got my keys out of my pocket and unlocked my car. I opened the door and reached in to get my backpack.

Shifting it to my shoulder I locked up my door and walked back inside as fast as I could without tripping, since I didn't want to get anymore wet.

"Renée everything's going to be okay. Dr. Lopez said Dr. Cullen is one of the best. We'll be fine. Everything's fine." I heard Charlie's hushed words coming from the kitchen,

"Our baby girl doesn't talk! How is that being fine Charlie!" Renée's words came out chocked, sobs soon following her words. I stayed hidden in the hallway but tiptoed my way to the entrance of the kitchen and peeked my head inside.

Charlie had wrapped his arms around Renée's crying form and was resting his cheek on her head's crown.

I bit my lip as I watched the scene, I felt bad, but I wasn't the one who asked to have a doctor decide if there was something wrong with me, I'm not the ones who can't leave me and my silence alone. _There was nothing wrong with me, so I'm not the one bringing upon this hurt over them. They were._

I looked away and let them have their time; I started back to my room once inside I went to my window where I had a window bench. I sat down and pulled my backpack down to my lap. I didn't bother turning on the lights there was more then enough natural light (Me and natural light I swear, we're like BFF's or some shit like that) coming through my room from the open window.

I kicked off my shoes and leaned back against the wall, I opened the backpack and got out my folder, deciding to do some of the homework, so I wouldn't fall behind.

Within 30 minutes I finished most of the homework I was assigned, but feeling to lazy to text Angela and asking her what was the rest was. So I stuffed that folder away and brought out my notebook where I had placed the song I was working on earlier today. I bit my lip rereading the words, though I had already memorized them, for a few seconds before I closed my eyes and pictured myself going through the motions of recording the song, each note of my instruments playing in mindless tunes until the melody of the words got stronger and key sounds came with it.

I slowly opened my eyes and smiled a small smile to myself, I dug through my backpack and got out my favorite black market, turning to back to the lyrics I slowly and deliberately wrote out

'Lithium'

Bang! Bang! Bang!

I jumped as the sound scared me awake, and almost fell off the bed.

I groggily moved to a sitting position and moved my hair out my face so I could see my alarm clock. My mouth dropped open as I saw that it was 35 minutes after 7. School started at 8:05.

I groaned internally as I realized that I didn't set my alarm and jumped off the bed, only to freeze as vertigo hit me. I shook my head as _Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! _Rang out again.

"Izzy, I need to get dressed could you get that…sweetheart did you just wake up?" Renée asked as she opened my door to see me scrambling around with a brush in my mouth and hopping on one foot as I tried to shove my other foot in my shoe.

I gave her a thumbs up as I slammed my shoed foot back on the ground and roughly started running the brush through my hair.

I was still wearing the same clothes from last night, even though I had taken a shower, I mean they were still clean so why waste more outfits then necessary by putting something else.

"Well you know you're running late right?" She continued babbling as I got my backpack and squeezed through the door and only a towel clad Renée. I threw my backpack by the door ignoring the insufferable banging that I know recognized as someone banging the door.

I brushed my teeth in about 2 minutes all the while the banging echoing in my head, as it didn't stop. I stood at the top of the stairs, a hand on my hip as I glared at the door, reaching down to get my backpack then walking down the stairs.

Only I went to the kitchen thinking that if the person on the other side was banging on the door this early in the morning, they could fuck up their knuckles for a few more seconds. I placed my backpack on the counter and got out a granola bar from the pantry.

"Izzy! Please! I'm getting a headache!" Renée yelled from upstairs.

I rolled my eyes but started going through the door, lets face it I was getting a headache too, and getting my iPod from out of my pocket and placing the buds in my ears.

I opened the door and was attacked my screams…or were they squeals?

Anyway I was shocked to see a tiny girl with such an annoying first impression; I could honestly say (or think anyway) that it was different.

"Hi! I'm Alice and like oh my god! It's you! I can't believe it. It's gonna be so much fun. I can tell we're going to be best friends. Like oh my god!," She managed to speed scream in one breath. She was quite for 2 seconds before her gleaming smile turned up a notch and she continued, "Oh My God! I totally forgot these are for you!" then she all but shoves the plate she was holding in one hand in my face.

I looked at the plate; it had about 2-dozen chocolate chip cookies, then back at Alice.

Slowly I took the plate from her, stepped back a foot from the door then…slammed it closed.

I'm not going to school today.

* * *

**Sooo what did you think? I wanted you guys to learn more about Izzy in this chapter, i hope it made you understand her more.  
Once again, i do make this up as i go along, with just a few things that are set in stone for the plot line. that's why it takes me forever to update.  
I'm sorry for making you guys wait forever. **

**But i love all of your reviews. **

**they make me feel happy, especially right now when i need it the most.  
~BlackaddictReader**


	7. Chapter 7

**New And Improved!..hopefully!**

**Enjoy! and Izzy's outfit will be on my profile.  
Enjoy!  
I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! AND WITH MY GRADES I NEVER WILL!**

**

* * *

**

Izzy, where are you!

Angela's instant message read, it was 2nd period at Forks right now, and I was in my room. Alice still had yet to leave and I could hear her bell-like laughter every few minutes. Renée left a few minutes ago after coming up to my room, and asking me to come down. I waved her away and sent her a thumbs up; I mean obviously I wasn't going to let a pixie sentence me to my room. I would go down to the kitchen to go get breakfast; you know…when she was gone.

**Home. **I typed and hit send clicking onto my second tab, the page went to my iTunes account; I was bored so I decided to make play lists. I even had some Spanish songs, which I added to my new play list called _Beaner status!_ **(A/N: I actually have one of those)**

My first tab that I was on yahoo with started blinking saying _Angela has sent you a message. _I stared blankly at her message for a few seconds before silently laughing.

**Why! Are you sick! Did you throw up? Are you pregnant! **Her message read.

I typed back,

You had sugar with your cereal this morning didn't you? And no to all of the options. I didn't feel like going today.

Signing off of iTunes I cleared the paged and went to Google. I typed in the schools website. Once there, I went to the teachers website page and found the links for all of the teachers whose homework I didn't do.

After going to each page I leaned back victorious, I did all the homework assigned.

**Maybe… But that's not the point!** She typed back; I could practically see her slamming her fingers against the keyboard in the frenzied way of hers.

**Then what is?** I hit send and then exited out of the schools website, since I had no longer a use for it.

**You should be in school!** Angela typed back in her record time.

**But that's the thing…I'm not.** I liked making her all frantic. It was my enjoyment for the day.

**Oh My Dang! Izzy I swear if you are not in school by lunch, I'm going to get in my car and literally pull you by the hair into school myself.**

I reread her threat with a slightly amused frame of mind.

**Naw, I'm cool chilling here.** I replied, and then quickly signed off. I leaned back and stretched my arms up in the air, bringing them down to mess up my hair.

I ejected my iPod from the computer and then went to my dresser to get pick up the earphones.

I scrolled down to my artists after inserting them into my ears and went to Three Days Grace and then to their "One-X" Album.

I went to my window and leaned against the wall, staring out the window as the soft guitar notes started playing.

The clouds where their normal soft grays today, the streets still wet from last nights rain.

Then I noticed there was a car right next to mine, it was a silver Volvo.

I squinted my eyes to check if I was seeing right. There was a dude in the drivers' seat, something about him rung a bell but I couldn't place it.

I shook my head trying to clear it and looked back to the car, this time I was meet with the same pair of emerald green eyes and then it clicked.

We stared at each other for a second then he awkwardly raised his hand and waved just as the chorus of the song belted out.

_Even if I say  
It'll be alright  
Still I hear you say  
You want to end your life  
Now and again we try  
To just stay alive  
Maybe we'll turn it all around  
'Cause it's not too late  
It's never too late  
__  
_I looked away annoyed and paused my iPod. Without looking back I walked away from my window and jumped on my bed, wanting to sleep and forget about the fact that every time we saw each other the music would fade and only certain parts would be crystal fucking clear.

I let my eyes close, and what after felt like 3 seconds,

"Izzy!" Was being screamed in my ear waking me up.

"Oh good, you're awake." Angela's voice said.

I picked my head up off the pillow and stared at her, then looked at my alarm.

"You didn't" I mouthed amusement shaping my lips into a shocked smile.

"Wipe that smile off your face. I told you I was going to come and get you." She sassed glaring at me.

"You ditched." I signed getting out of bed and stretching.

"I did not ditch, we are free to leave school grounds during lunch with a pass, which I have." She smugly said holding out my backpack.

I was going to be a little smart ass, but decided against it as I felt and heard my stomach rumble.

I snatched my backpack away from her and started to get ready, obviously she wasn't going to leave without me, and fuck it if, I was hungry and feeling to dang lazy to cook something for me to eat right now.

"Thank you." She sang out and I could just hear the smile on her face even without turning around.

I went to the window seat to get my iPod and noticed that the silver Volvo wasn't there anymore.

I shoved my iPod into my pocket and then quickly put on my shoes. With Angela on my heels, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. The house was quiet as we walked down the stairs, when I looked inside the kitchen I saw that only my house keys where hung up.

I raised an eyebrow at Angela and mouth,

"How did you get in?"

Smiling she replied, "Honey…I've known you long enough to know where you hide the extra key."

I stared, but then just shrugged. I took my keys and walked to the front door, opening it and gesturing Angela to walk.

I locked the door after stepping out and continued on my way to my car, only stopping halfway to where the silver Volvo previously was.

I nodded my head seriously and mouthed mostly to myself,

"My car's better."

"Better then what?" Angela asked having stopped in place with me.

I shook my head and jerked my thumb to my car, silently asking her if she wanted a ride.

She smiled excitedly and ran to the passenger side. I rolled my eyes unlocked the door and slipped inside.

I connected my iPod and went to shuffle, "On the brightside" Started playing when I turned on the car and put it in reverse.

The way to school was filled with me mouthing the words and Angela sticking her head out the window screaming out the song.

That's why I try and keep her away from sugary cereals people.

I smoothly parked into the first empty space I found in the student parking lot and I reluctantly paused my iPod on the chorus to "This one's a cheap shot." And turned off the car.

There was still about 15 left in lunch so after making sure to lock my car I all but stumbled my way to my locker and shoved my shit in there making sure to bring out my math homework and other necessities.

When I walked into the cafeteria Angela was already sitting down at our table with a second lunch plate along with hers.

Jesus will be good to her.

"I thought you'd be hungry since there is no way in hell that you'd willing run into school like that, knowing the possible danger that has." She laughed as I ripped open the packaged sandwiches and shoved half of the first slice into my mouth.

I was too pleased chewing into the goodness that of which is the turkey sandwich she bestowed on me to flip her off.

"So did you hear about the family that just moved here?" Angela said not in a gossip kind of way like the other girls do, but more like in annoyance, she also shared my displeasure the buzz the school gained at the newest things.

I paused in my chewing as I thought about it, and then thought back to this morning.

My eyes widen as I made a connection after my first meeting with Dr. Cullen and then at the super market I was curious so I looked him up on google.

"Well fuck." I mouthed leaning back in my chair my appetite vanishing,

"What?" She asked.

"It might be my fault." I mouthed just as the end of lunch bell rang. I stood up thankful that Angela and I don't have 4th period math together.

"Wait what do you mean!" She yelled as I started walking to the trashcan and dumping the rest of my lunch.

I turned around still walking and took out my cell phone and started a new message.

**What am I supposed to do? I got to get to class.**

I sent that and turned around not wanting to risk falling on my ass.

I entered my math class when my cell phone vibrated,

**Will you tell me later?**

Her reply read.

**Yeah, I guess.**

**Now go learn something.**

I typed and sent as I walked to my assigned seat…well not necessarily assigned since Mr. Yeh let us sit where ever we wanted.

I put my phone on silence and left it on my desk as he got the class settled

The LCD screen glowed again as I got her reply

**I can't learn something new in P.E**

I passed my homework up to the dude in front of me before, replying.

**Go learn how not to be obese.**

I put my phone in my pocket after that, getting comfortable in my hard plastic chair since today was a new lesson. I wrote down my notes diligently even going up and beyond with color-coding some stuff.

After 55 minutes of math hell and kids asking stupid questions like " But how did you get negative one?" When he just 2 seconds ago he explained that to some other kid.

"It was lovely seeing in class today Miss Swan." Yeh said as I passed him on my way out the door.

I looked at him and mouthed

"I'm sure it was."

He liked having at least one kid who was both quiet all throughout class and could actually understand the material. It made him feel accomplished.

Biology was boring for the most part; we had a pop quiz, which I aced.

I had to stay for P.E today, golly gee was I sure excited, since I gave Angela ride. But I felt too lazy to go home and come back an hour later to come and get her.

We played tennis, I did well the first 3 minutes of the game, you know until someone got in my way and I fell bringing down the chick with me.

_Ow. _I thought I thought as I rubbed my arm making my way to my car as school ended,

Angela's 6th period class was at the farthest end of the school in the English and foreign language building, so I got in the car and turned the heater on low warming up my colds hands. I was wearing shorts but my hands were more victims to the frosty air today then my legs.

"Weightless" Started playing about a minute later as the last song ended.

"What do you mean?" The door opened and Angela's head popped in right before she threw her backpack on the floor and slipped in.

_Hello to you too. How was my day you ask? Pretty damn good so far._

"Do you know their last name?" I asked, stalling.

"Yeah, Cullen I think, why?"

I took a breath then let it out, mouthing,

"Cause that's my new doctor's last name."

"What, but Dr. Lopez…Izzy?" She asked her confusion, much to my aggravation, morphed into pity as she realized what it meant.

I shook my head stepping on the gas as the road cleared and started for home.

"When did he tell you?" She asked, without naming him I knew who she was talking about.

"Yesterday." I mouthed, sneaking a glance at her; worry and sadness dominated her facial emotions.

"I'm so sorry Izzy, I thought for sure-" I snapped my head back to her and told her to just drop it.

I was getting irritated, so I leaned towards my iPod and pulled up the volume.

'Complicated' by Avril Lavigne started playing.

We still weren't talking by the time I pulled up to the driveway.

I turned off the car and we both still sat, not moving.

"I'm sorry." We both turned towards each other, she sent me an apologetic smile.

I shook my head and mouthed,

"It's okay."

And it was, I wasn't bother by her asking about it. What gets me mad is that 'they' don't even try to hide the pity.

"Either way I should have dropped it like you said, but if you don't mind me asking…when do you meet Dr. Cullen?" She asked her voice soft.

"Tomorrow."

"Are you still going to sing?" She asked her worry dripping in each syllable.

I nodded, while mouthing,

"Until Dr. C opts against it."

She smiled, but her eyes were still troubled with worry.

"That's good."

I didn't respond but I felt like I owed her something, I knew why she was worried, before Dr. Lopez came along the only tests that I was given where things like x-ray and other medical stuff, but he changed things up, the smile on her face when she dropped by on the check up was huge, she wasn't even upset (or from what I could tell) when she found out that I was only singing for the check up not because I wanted to.

I paused the song, and turned back towards her.

"Come by later tonight, okay?"

"Yeah…sure." She said but it came out like a question.

"I have to go to Seattle." I told her and I saw her eyes gain their natural gleam as she made the connection.

She unbuckled her seat belt and started to get out of the car. I turned the car back on waiting for her to get in her car. When she gently knocked on the window I rolled it down.

"So like at 8?" She asked curiously.

I nodded

"Okay, see you then."

She walked up to her car and got in, a few seconds later the car started up and then she was gone.

I got out my cell phone and sent Renée a text telling her where I was going. No need to give my mother a heart attack. I sent the text and put my phone back in my pocket, then backed out the driveway.

I parked the car about 2 and half hours later and turned the engine off. I dug through my backpack for the keys before getting out my car.

There was no sign of Jimmy today, but then again it was around 5:30 so he probably taking a nap or something.

I walked into studio a smile making its' way to my lips as I saw all my instruments lined up.

I placed my backpack on to the table and brought out my folder where I put all my lyrics.

I took out 'Lithium' and sat down. I reread the words once more deciding what order to start out.

I went to the back room where I had my laptop, usually I had it with me when I came here to help me with the editing. I brought it yesterday thinking that I would have time record the song, but alas I didn't. So I left it here.

(I'm about to make all this shit up…I have no idea of how they do this)

I connected it to main computer and opened a new sound file, leaving the mouse right above the record button.

I went to my guitars and got an acoustic then walked into the sound booth with my laptop in the other hand.

It's easy to have a laptop in here so I didn't have to keep going out to the main and making new files, when I could just do it here.

I grabbed the stool I had in here and pulled it up to the microphone, after adjusting everything, I made the laptop start its count down before it started to actually record.

The chords came naturally as I started strumming, going through the lyrics in my head.

I did that process once more with the electric guitar. But since a drum set couldn't fit into the booth I brought the microphones out with me. Recording the music wasn't ever difficult for me, in the beginning it would take me a week to finish a song but now it just took me a little over 45 minutes. I never learned to play the instruments either by a professional, I learned my ear, and I guess you could say natural talent. I did have some trouble at first but with the help of the " For Dummies" book I know the basics of every instruments I own. Which is nice.

My stomach fluttered with joy as I started towards my piano, I loved playing it. I loved being able to get lost in the soft sounds that came out, to feel as if I could pour my whole self into the notes by the amount of pressure I add to the keys.

I took a breath and let it out slowly as I placed my fingers on the corresponding keys and kept on playing until the songs end.

I went to the main computer where I found all the files I just recorded.

Using Sony Vegas I layered each individual composition into one and played it back when I was done.

The instruments melding into one, but still each giving its own flare to the music, I smiled and saved it onto the computer, which then imported into my iPod.

The last thing I needed to do was add the vocals.

I went once more into the sound booth, putting on one ear of the headphones and pressed play on my laptop.

Seconds later I heard counter start from 3.

I closed my eyes.

**Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside…**

Angela reached up to wipe a stray tear from her eyes as the song ended.

"That was beautiful, Izzy." She whispered, giving me a small smile.

I shrugged as I placed my right hand on my neck as started rubbing it didn't hurt, I just didn't know what to do with my hands. I usually felt like this after playing my instruments for a while. Normally I would have stayed in my studio until well after 9, but since I was on a time limit, I couldn't satisfy my need for playing.

"So what about tomorrow?" She asked getting up off the floor from in front of my bedside table and flopping down on my bed.

"What about tomorrow?" I asked (by now I'm sure you know that when she says, and or asks…whatever, she's mouthing. I'll put she signed when she does but yeah.)

"What song are you going to sing tomorrow, I meant." She asked huffing at the end.

I shrugged, thinking about winging it instead.

"Hmm." She hummed tapping her chin playfully.

I raised an eyebrow, waiting.

"How…about…Lithium?" She said slowly cocking her head to the side, letting her straight hair create a curtain over her shoulder.

Normally I would listen to her suggestion but…Lithium just didn't feel right to sing in front of Dr. Cullen.

I shook head thinking through some of the songs I have.

I went over to my iPod and scrolled through my songs until I found the 2nd song I ever wrote.

I pushed play and then lay on the bed right beside Angela.

My voice filled the room, and I closed my eyes ignoring the meaning and enjoying my outlet.

"I haven't heard this one before." She murmured her voice sounding far away

I nodded my head, dozing off.

_Flickers pasted through my mind I saw everyone having fun and drinking, I walked a bit further away from the crowd. My blood curling as I heard someone screaming, I walked towards and it was coming from the warehouse. I walked along the side of it, my feet slipping in the mud. _

_I found the door, partially kept open. _

_I heard a voice, a girl's, that I didn't recognize _

"…_Plea-" Her voice was cut off and then there was a loud crash._

_I slowly reached towards the door and opened it a bit more._

I sat upright a gasp trapped in my throat; I blinked trying to get the images out my head.

The room was dark except for the glow of my iPod, which after my heart started to regulate again I could hear the soft playing of "When The Love Falls"

I found my phone right next to the dock and opened it up, wincing slightly at the sudden bright light. My eyes stung from the light and I blinked once more.

It was 4:28.

I sat on my bed with my legs crossed for a few more minutes before finally excepting that I wasn't going back to sleep with that dream fresh in my head.

I stood up and went to turn on the light, when it was on I walked pasted my bed and was struck by a thought.

_Where's Angela? _I looked around my room and when I was about to text her, I saw a note on my desk, addressed to me.

**Hey Iz,**

**You fell asleep and you looked so worn out I didn't want to wake you up.**

**See ya at school.**

**~Angela**

I blew out a silent breath relieved that I knew where she was.

I went to my closet taking out a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and throwing it on my bed. I went through a couple of shirts before finding my favorite…well one of my favorite Invader Zim shirts. It had Gir popping out of his suit yelling, "I'm nekkid!" the shirt was a sky blue with the dog disguise being the original neon green.

After tossing that with the pants I went to my bed and got on my knees to look under my bed. I looked around; finding some shoes that have been missing for a while and after reaching all the way in I finally found my matching neon green lace up Vans.

I got in the shower finding comfort in the strawberry smell of my body wash and shampoo trying to forget the nihgtmare, and what happens next.

I got out 20 minutes later shivering in the cold morning air and walked back to my room.

I dressed and finished some of the homework I didn't do yesterday.

At exactly 6:30, I heard my mother get up and start her day, she was leaving for a few days to Phoenix to take care of my sick grandmother.

"Izzy, I'm off." She said knocking once on my door and opening it up.

I turned around in my swivel chair and nodded. She walked into my room and bent down to give me hug, and she whispered in my ear,

"Good luck with Dr. Cullen."

She gave my forehead a light kiss and then she left.

I went downstairs at 7 and grabbed a granola bar and going back up into my room.

I unwrapped it and took a bite then shoving the rest of it in my backpack.

Waking up the computer from its sleep I went to my yahoo, signing in.

I had five new emails. Two of those being coupons for Borders which I saved to use later this week, the other's were just spam, so I deleted them.

Time all but dragged on as I waited for my cell phone clock to change to 7:45.

Then finally…finally it was time to leave.

I jumped from my chair grabbing my Gir backpack by the door on my way out.

I ran (And didn't fall!) down the stairs and out the door.

I looked up the sky and saw that there were no gray clouds in the sky. Hopefully by lunch there will be some actual sun.

"Hey." Angela said popping up out of nowhere and falling into step with me as I walked into the history building.

I nodded my head to her and sent her a smile; I took my ear bud out and raveled them around my iPod before putting it into my backpack.

"You got my letter right, I didn't want you to worry." She giggled opening room 62.

I rolled my eyes but nodded anyways.

We sat down as we waited for the bell to ring, slowly the kids started filing in with seconds to spare before school officially started. I'm so excited; I'm shaking with joy.

No…Not Really.

Halfway through our lecture of the Pre-Columbian era there was a knock on the door.

Mr. Anderson got up from his desk grumbling about the interruption a bit and opened the door.

I slouched in my plastic chair and started doodling in the textbook going to random pages and writing "go to page…" until I got the back cover and wrote, "if you actually fell for this you're just as dumb as I thought "

"Get your head off the desk, Mr. Yorkie." Mr. Anderson called out slapping his hand right beside Eric's ear.

He shot up, and yelled,

"Here!"

"Sadly." Anderson stated before turning away and facing all of us.

"We have a new student class, He's from…" He looked behind him and asked in a quieter voice, "Where you from again?"

"Los Angeles, Sir." We heard a soft male voice said.

"Right, Class this is Jasper Hale. He and his family just moved here from Los Angeles. Don't make him cry today. You can seat right there beside Miss. Swan." My head snapped up from the soon to be drawing of Anderson being chased by squirrels.

A blonde haired dude with calm blue eyes walked towards me and sat in the desk off to my left.

"Mr. Hale I assume you can catch up to us by this weekend." Mr. Anderson said walking around the classroom getting a student workbook.

"I believe I can." Jasper said politely as Mr. Anderson came to the back and handing the workbook to him.

"Alright then, Miss. Swan should be able to help you with anything you may need." With an amused smile he turned towards me and said, "Isn't that right Miss. Swan"

I stared at him.

I blinked once. I blinked twice.

He turned away.

"Izzy!" Angela whispered amusement seeping through her voice. I turned towards her and simply shrugged.

"Sorry to bother, but what page are we on?" Jasper whispered looking confused as he flipped through the pages.

I reached over and took the textbook away from him, sort of surprised that he thought we were in the 400's (even though this was an AP class) when the school year began only 2 and a half months ago.

I went to page 65 and pointed to the 3rd paragraph.

"Thank you." He said

The class was pretty much uneventful the rest of the period.

"And with that." Mr. Anderson said adding life into his voice as he shut his textbook before continuing, "you all think you're loved…but you're not."

There was an awkward silence, and then the bell rang.

We got our things together and stood up.

"Well…I feel unloved now." Angela said looking sad.

I stared at her before looking around me and then back to her.

"Oh…you were talking to me." I mouthed

Her sad face went through a series of changes before settling in a glare.

"Get to class." I cracked a smile, rolling my eyes and walking away heading for the English and Foreign Language building.

I got to room 22 with Mrs. Skove, she was a nice teacher for the most part. She would act like the grandmother you never wanted but other then that she's pretty darn cool.

Class hadn't stared yet and since Skove lets us use our iPods, I sat down in the farthest row last chair and decided to spend the last 3 minutes of our 7 minute passing period with music.

'The Kill' by 30 Seconds to Mars started, I put my backpack on my desk and used it as a pillow, I lowered the volume so that it was just louder then background music and shut my eyes.

It ended just a few seconds before the tardy bell rang and I made a disgruntled face as I turned off my iPod and start winding the earphones around it before stuffing it back in my backpack.

After getting out my notebook and my favorite pen I put my backpack under the desk.

I looked up to see what the daily warm up was but instead I found a blonde chick walking to the desk in front of mine glaring at me.

I was a bit taken back, at the new girls hostile attitude towards me and raised an eyebrow. I wondered,

_Is she on her rag or is her face was just permanently scowled like that? _

Without a word she flicked her hair over her shoulder and sat down in her new desk.

I rolled my eyes, if she was on her rag, I hope she isn't this much of a bitch when she isn't, a whole year of Miss. Attitude will seriously ruin the class for me.

When Mrs. Skove got the class settled down, she introduced the class to Miss. Attitude who's real name is Rosalie.

The class couldn't have ended fast enough every time Skove had handed out papers to the row, Rosalie met me with a cold glare, and so I was leaning on the latter. But then again her father was a doctor so, I'm sure he could have done something to fix that.

The bell rang and the class gave an audible sigh of relief as they got up and walked off to 3rd period.

Thankfully I had study hall, which was held in the library, and wouldn't have to deal with actual learning for 55 minutes.

I walked slowly to the library starting to feel sleepy as I usually did at this time, when I wake up early in the mornings.

When I walked inside; I knew my luck had run out, I know it's a rude thing to say…or think in my case. But so far I had done a pretty good job in escaping Alice.

The first encounter with her was still fresh in my mind, and I really didn't want to deal with Miss. Sprite spokesperson so soon.

I quickly went behind the nearest bookcase and started for my corner. Yeah that's right I had my very own corner. It was in the farthest end of the building where the Fantasy/ Fiction/Si-Fi where shelved. None of the other kids made a move to read books unless assigned by a teacher.

I was on the last bookcase before I had to take a turn when Alice suddenly appeared, looking shy yet still managing to ooze spunk.

"Hi." She smiled still holding back, seeing as her pale jade eyes were bright and excited.

I raised my hand and slightly waved.

"You feel awkward, don't you." She laughed a bit.

_Well that's one way of putting it _I thought.

"I'm not mad, you know." My eyes having left her, wandered back as I heard complete sincerity in her voice.

My face must have showed my confusion because she then explained.

"From yesterday morning. I know I can come on a bit strong, and I'd like to apologize for that. Well not for the hyperness part, I'm like that pretty much every day, all day, but for the fact that I all but shoved it into your face when you don't even know me." She ended with a timid smile, making me feel bad.

I bit my lip, unsure of how to respond to that.

"Oh." Alice squeaked out, letting her purse drop down from her shoulder and into her hand where she starts rummaging through it.

"Here you go." She said with a slight giggle as she held out a black pen and pad of yellow sticky notes. I grabbed them from her just as the bell rang and quickly scribbled down the first thing that came to mind before sending her a wave good bye and heading for the check in desk where Mrs. Packer was waiting with attendance.

_The cookies tasted awesome._

We didn't have much interaction after that, not because I ignored her, no not that. But she had to go and run around the school to all her classes and ask her teachers what books she would need. She wouldn't have needed to do that if the real librarian (Mrs. Jackson) was in today but she was out with a flu and Mrs. Packer's just a teacher who had a free 3rd period, which the school dumped us with and doesn't know jack about the textbooks besides her own English classes.

Every time Alice would pass by my corner, she would send me an excited wave and mouth "Hi." And I mean every single time. 8 times to be exact.

Though it didn't annoy me as much as I thought it would at first, I found it cute with her small frame jumping at least 2 inches off the floor, as she would start her wave.

Third period came and went and I made it to my locker without being seen by the Cullen' and/or Hale's I've met so far today.

"Oh Mi God! Girlfriend, Did you see that fine piece of caramel man candy?" Angela came up to my locker with a fake Valley girl accent exaggerating her facial expression. Her mouth was open in an O and her eyes were wide open and she leaned against the lockers and started fanning herself with her speedy hand.

She held that position for a few seconds and lost it.

I opened my mouth but then closed it, noticing that she wasn't doesn't yet. I followed her example and leaned against the lockers. I put my right hands pointer finger on my lips using it to stop from either laughing or smiling.

She huffed,

"Honestly, that's all I've heard since 2nd period. Do you know how many times I was going to type something and ended up with 'You will never believe' Do girls in this school honestly have nothing better to do then gossip about boys!" She turned from her back to her face and started banging, but still softly, her head against the metal door.

I stared in amusement as I saw this side of Angela, she was usually a soft-spoken person everyone liked her. It may not be a mutual feeling from Angela's side at times, but…they liked her.

This Angela only came out when something set the school to a different level of annoyance…and I loved every minute of her. So freaking funny.

"I want chocolate milk." She whimpered, her frustration subsiding for the moment.

I simply nodded my head and linked my arm with hers, tugging her to the cafeteria.

It was loud and as smelly as usual, so nothing new to report there. I waited on the side with the lunch ladies and their cash registers for Angela. I forgot my wallet at home, but I still have my half uneaten granola bar. So it's all good.

Angela paid for her food, all polite and smiley. The Angry Angela long forgotten as she started opening her milk before we even made it to the table.

I stopped walking half way there though as I saw that it was occupied.

Angela looked at my disbelieving face and back at the table,

"Oh Hell to the no?" She asked guessing my thoughts. Now I may not show it but I'm a very possessive person…well no actually not really…but that's not the point!

The Cullen's and Hale's were sitting at out table. The table that for the past 2 years and 2 months has been ours alone. I looked at Angela, and nodded my head. I hid my own irritation and started walking towards the wall parallel to the table. The school had added benches that rest right along the every other window. The windows where from the ceiling to floor. Angela followed without a word and laughed in good nature saying,

"Well this is different. Do you want some?" She pointed to her lunch box thing…it was a cardboard box that's all I know.

I looked into and saw a homemade thanksgiving lunch…in September.

I shook head no and got my backpack from the floor going through it until I found my iPod and granola bar.

I took a bite of the bar and held up the iPod a bit. I usually listened to my iPod when it was days like this, blocking out the noise. Angela on the other hand would go on the day trudging through it and when we got to my or her house she would let it all out, reenacting the most annoying parts.

Even though she always answered the same, I would still ask, in my own way, if it was okay for me to listen to it. I don't want to be rude when I don't have to.

She smiled and said,

"Go ahead."

I gave her a smile and went to my Genres and scrolled to 'World'

'Clair De Lune' softly trickled into my senses and I closed my eyes leaning my head against the wall in back of me.

"Izzy." Angela whispered pulling my right ear bud out.

I opened my eyes and immediately knew I fell asleep. I blinked straightening up.

The cafeteria was bustling, kids getting up from their tables and heading towards the door.

"Are you okay? You fell asleep almost a minute after closing you eyes. I ate the rest of your granola bar by the way." Angela held out my backpack and I stood up pasting it onto my own arm and then throwing it over my shoulder

"Yeah, I just woke up early today." I mouthed.

She eyes filled with concern and she asked,

"Another nightmare?" She knew I had nightmares, I didn't tell her how often I actually had them but still she knew to a certain extent.

I shook my head, not wanting to bother her with my insomniac ways.

"I just couldn't sleep." I smiled and cocked my head towards the door.

We walked in a comfortable silence and for the second time today we parted ways. Angela headed to the locker rooms while I headed to the Math and Science building for 4th period.

I yawned as I opened the door to Mr. Yeh's class; I headed to my seat without paying attention to anyone, except you know for the big dude who was the size a bear.

He was tall and the kid looked liked he was on steroids. I literally took a step back shocked, as his face morphed into a smile and he came charging at me.

He wrapped me up in a hug and started swinging me around like a rag doll.

And I thought Alice had bad first impressions.

"Mr. Cullen, Please reframe from suffocating my best student." Mr. Yeh said obviously amused as he walked into class with a diet coke bottle and some Del Taco fries in a bag.

He set me down laughing and placed his heavy arm on my shoulders,

"Man, Mr. Y I'm a lover, not a killer." I looked at him through the side of my eye and saw that his brown eyes where full of mirth.

I sent Yeh a look for help, thankfully he understood the look and said,

"I'm sure you'll have a fun time explaining that to a judge, Emmett. Now please let go of Izzy."

"Sure thing, boss!" The weight lifted from me and I was able to stand straight.

"I'm Emmett." He stuck his hand out as an offer.

I took it hesitantly and watched as he made my hand disappear in his and began shaking it.

"Your hands cold. Are you a vampire?" he asked smiling making his dimples pronounced. I felt like I was in 13 going on 30, except it was more like a 10 year old in a body builder's body.

I shook my head, taking my head back and went to my desk.

The bell rang and the class started a minute later, thankfully Emmett had been seated in the front row and away from me. Though somehow he managed to turn around in his chair and send funny faces at me.

Needless to say, I didn't learn anything math related today.

Class ended and I left without a word to Emmett, but apparently he didn't get the point as to why I did what I did when he popped his head out the class door and yelled out in the middle of the crowed hallway,

"See ya tomorrow, Izzy!"

I stopped for a second but then just ducked my head away from the stares and continue walking,

"Okay bye!" He yelled again, I shook my head at him, but still didn't turn around.

I went to my locker grabbing my bio textbook, stuffing some other notebooks in my backpack for tonight's homework and then relocking it up.

Angela was outside the door standing on the tips of her toes, looking through the small window the door had.

I stood beside her real quiet, when she finally noticed me she let out a small yelp and yelled,

"Izzy!" slapping my shoulder.

I silently laughed and made a move to open the door, but Angela cut me off putting a hand on my shoulder and whispering,

"FYI…you're stuck with caramel man candy."

"What?" I mouthed; she didn't answer me just left me standing outside as she opened the door and headed in.

Still confused I walked into class, and tried and walk back out.

Keyword: Tried.

Angela was on the side right next to the door and she pulled me back by Gir's face.

"Oh no you don't, you're staying here." She laughed

I made some whining noise in my head.

"Go, don't be rude." She said shoving me into the general direction of my table.

Reluctantly I walked towards the table, and without looking at him I sat on my side.

"Hello." He said, his voice sounding completely different from the others. It was smooth and it sent goose bumps to my arms. But that could have just been the fact that it was cold and I wasn't wearing a sweater. Slowly I turned my head towards him. His eyes, as with all our encounters so far, were the first things I noticed.

"I'm Edward Cullen." He said holding his hand out.

I stared at his hand, wondering if it was only the sound of his voice that was different between him and Emmett; frankly I wasn't in the mood to be bear hugged again.

Dropping his hand, his face dawning a smirk continued,

"You must Isabella."

My jaw set as I shook my head and I looked away.

"Or do you prefer Bella?" I could hear a laugh in his voice.

_Great_ I thought sarcastically, _my partners a jackass._

"Uh… Hey Izzy. Who's your partner?" Angela came up beside me. I looked at her and mouthed,

"Jackass."

Things went pretty much down hill from there.

All during class he would call me Bella or Isabella, and I swear when he called me Isa I almost slapped me, though he has Mr. Banner to thank for the saving of his pretty boy face.

When my hand rose up in the air Mr. Banner immediately called on me asking if I had question.

I shook my head, and ignored him for the rest of the period, begging the blush that suddenly appeared on face to go down.

I didn't even wait for Angela, leaving as soon as the bell rang and heading towards the girls locker room for 6th period.

It took me a second to remember my combination, since I usually ditch this class.

After changing into my uniform and shoving my backpack into the way to small locker, I tied my hair up in a low ponytail and walked to my number out in the basketball court.

I looked up at the sky and mentally groaned, as my teacher would say,

We're in for a treat today. It was "perfect weather" for running, well as perfect as you could get in fork, which would be wet grass but dry skies.

I was right, as the tardy bell rang everyone walked to his or her numbers, Mr. Diaz came out with a smile, though I thought I saw a bit of a sadistic hint in it.

"You're in for a treat today!" He said in his loud voice, I turned my head away, staring at my dirty gym shoes; I need to take them home and have them washed.

"Lookie here, Izzy here's today." Diaz said fake shock coating his words.

I rolled my eyes, but nodded anyway.

He settled with having a free day. We could do anything we wanted but we had to keep moving all period.

Everyone dispersed, going and grouping up for different things.

I started walking away from my number but Diaz stopped me,

"Izzy, You owe me a mile from this week."

I looked at him.

"Get running." He said pointing to the muddy track on the far right of the field.

I turned and started walking to the track. When I was far away enough I reached into my shorts pocket and got out my iPod.

If we couldn't afford to buy a real uniform, we got bring a black pair of shorts and a simple gray t-shirt. Which is what I did, I mean like hell was I gonna waste 15 dollars for a pair of shorts and a shirt.

I turned on my iPod and went to shuffle songs, as I stepped on to the track, up close it wasn't muddy at all, and if you dug you shoe into the dried up dirt you could actually see the red track floor.

"Waking The Demon" By Bullet For My Valentine started playing, and I did a few stretches.

I started running, keeping a nice pace.

All in all it took me 11 minutes to finish it, and I was excused from running and was given permission go "Go have fun"

I kept my iPod playing as I walked further away from the class and just wandered around.

I stopped walking when I felt a drop of rain land on my forehead; I raised my head to look at the sky

A soft gray cloud was loping slowly through the sky…and then it wasn't.

My head snapped to the side as I was roughly pushed sideways. My entire right side broke my fall painfully, but the weight that knocked me down, didn't leave.

As I tried moving onto my back, a pain started making it presence known from my right ankle.

A pained breath left my mouth, as I managed to finish turning.

"Aw Fuck."

My eyesight focused and I was staring at Edward Cullen's eyes, just inches away from mine.

"My bad. I uh... I-I didn't see you there." He fumbled his words, placing his hand on the floor right beside me and pushing himself up.

I stayed on my back for a second before slowly moving to a sitting position.

"Are you okay? Did I break a rib or something?" He stressed running his hands through his messy bronze hair.

"Seriously, Bella I didn't see you."

My blank expression left my face and my eyes narrowed. I balled up my fist and got up, slapping away his hand as he tried to help me.

I bit my lip as I bent down to pick up my iPod that was yanked out of my ears and hand from the force of his collision, my ankle beginning to throb angrier.

"Bella, are you sure you're okay?" He asked his hands hovering near me.

I was turned away but honestly I was fed up with all these new kids, so I took it out on him. I faced him.

"Izzy! Okay it's Izzy!" I mouthed throwing my hands up in the air and then storming away. I tightened my hands up even more with every step I took off towards the locker room. Trying my damn hardest not to limp.

I ignored Mr. Diaz as he called out my name, yelling something about it not being time yet.

I walked, albeit in pain, into the locker room, going to my locker and spinning in the combo. I yanked the lock out of the socket and slammed the metal door, though regretting it as the bang echoed through the quiet room.

I let a noisy breath leave through my nose, leaning my head against the cool metal. I opened my fist and saw that my iPod was still turned on and playing.

I paused it without looking and placed on the top of the lockers.

By the time I was finished dressing the throbbing died down and was now somewhat numb unless I added to much weight onto it.

The end of school bell rang and I got my backpack throwing it over my shoulder, locking up and walking out of the room.

The outside of school was already filled with students chatting and just standing around.

I got my phone and saw that I had 1 new text from Angela,

Opening it up it read

**Mom picked me up halfway into 6****th**** period.**

**Won't be able to hear you sing. **

**Good Luck!**

**~Ang**

I quietly sighed with relief, seeing as now I wouldn't have to dodge Angela, knowing she would notice something with my walk.

I got to my car and started to the hospital.

I was pleasantly shocked at what I saw…or at what I didn't see would be more like it.

The crowd usually gathered outside the hospital was gone.

I walked through the sliding door, looking around cautiously.

"I know, it took me a while to get used it too." Jenny called out from her desk with a happy smile. I looked at her slightly ashamed at my thoughts from a few nights ago and nodded my head.

It was actually quiet not I had a problem with it being quiet…obviously. It was the fact that today there was a huge possibility that I would be singing and no one was here standing around impatiently excited.

I felt a smile on my lips and Jenny laughed.

"You can thank Dr. Cullen for that." I looked back at her and blinked.

_Maybe he won't be that bad._

"He's in Dr. Lopez's old office."

I nodded and started walking once more, down the hallway.

The plaque that once only two days ago had read, "Dr. Lopez" was now said "Dr. Cullen."

I knocked twice softly, and as I waited for the door to open I experimented with my foot moving it in circular motions. I winced as a sharp pain rocketed through my ankle.

I let the pain drain from my face as I saw and heard the door's knob twisting.

Dr. Cullen in all his blonde hair, blue eyes doctor self-glory appeared in the other side of the door with a kind, yet a tiny bit anxious smile.

"Hello Izzy, thank you coming." He opened the door wider, motioning me to come in.

I did and stopped cold turkey as I took in the entire room.

Dr. Cullen gave a chuckle and went to his desk.

"Yes, I know it's a bit different, my wife Esme is an interior designer on the side."

A bit different is the understatement of the year.

The walls that had once been a dull milky brown were now all a subtle shade of white apart from some beautiful art pieces hung up on the wall.

The new black leather sofa chairs popped in contrast to the walls. I made my way to the sofa chair and sat down, running my hands along the arm rests, feeling the smooth cool texture of the leather under the tips of my fingers.

"I'd like to discuss some things, before we start with anything else." He said looking at me for approval.

I nodded my head, curious as to what he was going to talk about.

"I'll be making a few changes to your session, I'm sure you've already noticed the first change." He said leaning back in his chair.

Once more I nodded my head.

"I was curious by the crowd, the first time we meet. I asked Dr. Lopez about it when we got back to his house…" He stopped sending me a gauging look.

I cocked my head to the side, in all honesty I had no idea why Dr. L had let the crowds stay, and I wanted to know.

"You've heard of Doctor-Patient Confidentiality, right?" When I answered yes, he continued, "To certain extant, he was following that rule. Confidentiality covers all medical folders, and though he did go about showing me your medical folder to get me here, he wasn't breaking that when he let the crowds stay and listen to your singing."

His words struck me and before I could think I was mouthing,

"But wouldn't my singing be related to my medical…overall thing." He laughed softly at my choice of words, I didn't take it personally.

"Not necessarily, them hearing you sing didn't tell them anything about your conditions or anything medically related. What they did learn though was that you could sing. He did that so he could get a rise out of you. To see if you would break your silence, to stand up for what you would have thought was breaking Confidentiality."

"Oh." I mouthed, leaning back against my own chair.

"As for your singing sessions," He said, I sat up straighter, hope managing to swell up inside me, "I would like to continue those." I slouched down in my chair; the mental image of a balloon with the word "Hope" written in black market being popped with a sharp pointy needle ran through my head.

Dr. Cullen sent me an understanding smile and said, "They do help."

I shrugged pitifully. Though Angela will be jumping off her rocket when she finds out.

Dr. Cullen stood up and walked towards the door,

"That was all I really needed to talk about right now. Let's start your sessions?"

I sat on my chair for a short while, focusing on my ankle, gently adding pressure. It didn't hurt as much but it stilled made me internally grimace.

I stood up carefully grabbing my backpack up off the floor as I did so.

We both walked at a slow pace to the stage room, as I started to call it.

Once in the room, I got my iPod out and set (more like dropped) my backpack into the floor right next to the stage. Using my good foot I awkwardly got on the stage, and went to the counter. I connected my iPod, letting it wake up from sleep and wrote on the white board.

_**Decode (acoustic)**_

I scrolled through my play list until I got to "Instrumentals" and found "Decode (acoustic)"

I pulled up the volume and pressed play.

The first few seconds were just silence, to give me time to get to the microphone.

Then I started immediately, letting my eyes close.

**How can I decide what's right**  
**When you're clouding up my mind?**  
**I can't win your losing fight**  
**All the time. **

**Nor can I ever own what's mine**  
**When you're always taking sides**  
**But you won't take away my pride.**  
**No, not this time.**  
**Not this time. **

**How did we get here?**  
**When I used to know you so well.**  
**But how did we get here?**  
**Well, I think I know. **

**The truth is hiding in your eyes**  
**And it's hanging on your tongue.**  
**Just boiling in my blood.**  
**But you think that I can't see**  
**What kind of man that you are,**  
**If you're a man at all.**  
**Well, I will figure this one out**  
**On my own.**  
**(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")**  
**On my own.**  
**(My thoughts you can't decode) **

**How did we get here?**  
**Well, I used to know you so well, yeah.**  
**But how did we get here?**  
**Well, I think I know. **

**Do you see what we've done?**  
**We've gone and made such fools**  
**Of ourselves.**  
**Do you see what we've done?**  
**We've gone and made such fools**  
**Of ourselves. **

**Yeah. Yeah. **

**How did we get here?**  
**Well, I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah.**  
**How did we get here?**  
**Why wont you show yourself?**  
**I think I know.**  
**I think I know. **

**There is something I see in you.**  
**It might kill me.**  
**I want it to be true.  
**

The music faded to a stop and opened my eyes; Dr. Cullen was leaning against the wall.

"That was an amazing song, have you ever had any professional singing lessons?" He asked,

I shook my head honestly and walked back to retrieve my iPod. Dr. Cullen was staring at me when I turned around.

"That was good, from what I can hear there's no stress in your vocal chords when you sing."

I gave him a small smile and without think I stepped off the stage with my bad foot.

I sucked a breath in as the pain shot through my entire leg this time, and I stumbled a bit before I caught myself.

Dr. Cullen put a steadying on my shoulder and asked, "Want me to take a look at that?"

I shook my head and mouthed, "I'm clumsy."

He gave me a look between somewhat doubtful and trusting look.

"I can only imagine, sit down." I saw that he was completely serious so begrudgingly I sat down on the 3 or so foot stage swinging my good foot to and fro.

Dr. Cullen brought the spare swivel chair that was in the room in front of me and sat down, he took my right foot carefully removing my shoes as he did so and lifted the hem of my pants just above my ankle.

He studied it for a few seconds and then grabbed a hold of my toes, moving my foot back and forth. It didn't hurt very much.

"You should stay off of your foot for a few hours, it's swollen right now, and there should be some bruising in the next few days." He said looking up.

My inner martyr reared its head.

"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt."

Dr. Cullen still looking me in the eyes moved is hand that was holding my foot in a wide circle.

I yanked my foot away, a sound somewhere between a cry of pain and protest stuck in my throat.

"Take some Tylenol tonight, it's just a stage 1 sprain."

I brought my foot crossing it on my thigh and started untying my shoe.

"If you don't mind me asking how did this happen?" Dr. Cullen asked standing up, I heard the door open but didn't turn my head to see who it was.

"Hey dad." Edwards voice rang through the room as I finished placing the shoe on my foot and retying it.

I ground my teeth together for a few seconds, not looking up.

"Hello Edward. Izzy? What happened?" Dr. Cullen pressed on.

I looked up and saw both of the Cullen's staring at me.

I glared at Edward before hopping down, and ignoring the pain, off the stage, grabbing my backpack and going to the door. I put my backpack on my shoulder and before leaving I turned and pointed at Edward, looking at Dr. Cullen.

"Ask him." I opened the door and walked out, slamming it closed behind me.

* * *

**So! what did you think! are you happy you trusted me!  
Lol  
**

**Review please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**SO IT'S HERE! YAY! I SHOULD SAY I COULD HAVE PROBABL,Y UPDATED SOONER IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY QUINCE ON THE 18TH(2 days before my real birthday. if that isn't beaner i don't know what is...Lol Just Kidding) **

**I hope you like the chapter, it may be a little off topic at times, but its just the way i write!**

**ONWARD WITH THE READING!**

* * *

The door slammed closed and I found myself having to fight the urge to laugh. She has quite the temper.

When I turned back to Carlisle he was staring at me with an expectant look on his face.

"What?" I laughed, raising my hands in an 'I give' sort of way.

"What was that about?" He asked continuing to stare.

I walked towards the 3, maybe 4, foot stage and hopped onto it, sitting down as 'Izzy' had been doing so when I first entered the room.

I thought back to during biology, and could see why everyone did call her 'Izzy' she was feisty.

But it was just too much fun seeing her reactions when I called her anything but that. Besides in my honest opinion she didn't really pull off 'Izzy' I'm sure she could but I think she looks more like a Bella.

I let out a short laugh as I remembered that she almost smacked me in the face, thankfully Mr. Banner, had been throwing cautious glances as at every few minutes, had seen that I was pulling at her patience and called on her just as her hand made into the air. She shook her head no to his question, but I didn't pay attention to him seeing as though her blush captivated me. I've never seen anyone blush that red in the span of 3 seconds.

She ignored me for the rest of the period, flipping pages through her book until class ended and she all but ran out of the class.

"What did you do?" Carlisle broke through my reverie.

"Nothing!" I laughed, which probably tipped him off that I wasn't telling the whole truth.

With a steady voice he said, "Edward she has a stage 1 sprained ankle, what did you do?"

Humor left my thoughts and I said, "What, are you serious?" I couldn't believe him, I mean after she all but told me…mouthed me off, actually, she walked away without even a limp in her step.

"Absolutely." He said the seriousness not leaving his face.

"Uh…I- Uh I might have accidentally knocked her down during her 6th period P.E. class." I said looking down, as guilt starting growing.

"Edward, " Carlisle sighed just as his beeper went off.

He looked at the number, furrowing his brow before recognition pasted through his eyes.

"We'll finish talking about this when I get home, alright." He said patting my shoulder as we both started for the door.

Pushing my guilt aside for later his words sparked something.

"Oh! Yeah, Esme wants to know where we left those china vases." I said, turning to look at him.

He stopped, and with a bit uncertainty he said, "With the Fine China."

"And where'd we leave that?" I asked mind boggled.

That question stumped him; his only reply was a shrug.

I sighed, " No offence dad, but coming here was a waste of time. You were no help at all."

"Your welcome son." He said roughly patting me on the back once before laughing and walking away.

"Yes because I was being so sarcastic." I muttered, shaking my head before going back to the parking lot.

"Eddie!" Emmett yelled from the front door as I stepped out of my car.

I sighed and yelled back

"Edward!"

"Whatever! C'mon you have to get all of your shit to the 3rd level and I ain't helping you!"

"Ain't isn't even a word." I said walking up the short steps with my hands in my pockets,

"It's not!" He asked horror masking his face.

"Nope, now move. I can't get inside." I said standing right in front of him.

"Dude… I'm going to Google that shit later." He said seriously before walking back inside.

"Good luck with that" I said going to the kitchen

"Thank you!" He called back.

I opened the fridge and got out a water bottle, taking a swig before placing it on the counter.

"Hi Sweetie. Did your Father tell you where they were?" Esme came in from the garage holding a heavy looking box; I walked towards her and took it into my hands.

"Thank you dear." She smiled, "I was taking it to the living room."

"Got it, and he said they were with the Fine China." I said walking backwards to open the door. I waited until Esme was out of the kitchen before walking off of door and letting it swing back into place.

"Where's the Fine China?" She asked tilting her head to the side confused.

"How should I know?" I shrugged setting the box down on the coffee table.

"I'll have to ask Jasper when he gets back then." She murmured to herself.

"Alright, I'm going to set up my room." I said going to the stairs and stopping when I saw that Emmett really meant all my shit. Every single box was piled up against the wall.

I sighed but never the less went to the boxes and grabbed the first one my hands touched and started up the stairs.

Everyone else had already scouted out their respective room and left me to myself on the 3rd floor, I placed the box I had with me on said floor and looked into all the 5 rooms.

I got to the second to last door on the left side as opened it up. It was big and empty, no duh, and it even had its own bathroom that was connected to the next room.

"Yeah sure." I said to myself, getting the box and just tossing it into the room before going back downstairs.

I was the last one to pack, my stuff got lost in the shipping to Forks, the clothes I've been wearing the past 3 days have been all thanks to Alice, She stopped at Port Angeles, searching for 'Spectacular stores' and couldn't resist in buying everyone a new outfits.

I was pretty darn happy this morning when I saw the moving van pull up into the drive way, sleeping on the couch wasn't t as easy as those guys who are forced to sleep on them after they get their girlfriends mad on TV make it look.

It took me about 10 trips to get all the boxes up into my new room.

"Edward?" Esme called out her footsteps getting near; I poked my head out the door,

"Yeah?"

"Did you find a room? We can start bring in the furniture if you'd like." She said walking inside.

"This room's fine but I actually wanted to paint the walls though." I had nothing against the pale light green, but it was too bright, I'm not emo or depressed but with the floor to wall window… that's a lot of light in the room. How am I supposed to take an afternoon nap if the suns all up in my grill. I'm such a rational person… who's obviously spending too much time with Emmett.

"Really!" Esme said her face spring with excitement; I could practically see the gears turning in her head as she pictured all the things she could do with this room.

"Yes." I said slowly, suddenly picturing Alice clapping her hand at the speed of light in front of thousands upon thousands of stores with a hand full of credit cards.

I shook my head getting rid of the mental image.

Esme had now started walking around the room. Then she suddenly stopped in he middle of the room, her already wide smile turning up even more at the corners.

"Green! Well a darker green I mean. Can you see it, it'll be like a little forest paradise right in your room." She said, I could feel the waves of anticipation of a new project rolling of her from across the room.

"As opposed to the one in our backyard." I said matter-of-factly uncrossing my arms and motioning towards the obviously beautiful scenery just a couple of feet away from the house.

"Poo you." She grumbled before quickly regaining her enthusiasm, "What would you like then?"

It was my turn to smile, though it had a slightly devious origin.

"That's the surprise. I'm going to redo the room myself."

"That's not fair." She huffed.

I chuckled and said,

"I know but it's fun this way. Where can I go get paint by the way?"

"I'm pretty sure in Port Angeles, there should be hardware store." She said, quickly getting over her disappointment.

"Cool, I'll be back later." I said, walking out and starting for the stairs.

"Edward dear, don't you want to start unpacking some things first?" Esme called out.

I was at the start of the stairs and turned back, answered back

"Why I'm just going to have to move them again later."

"Oh that's right. Have fun!"

I walked down the stairs and could hear Emmett and Alice in the living room.

I slowly walked in, not wanting to be pulled in to their…situation.

"I so won, Emmett you're a cheater!" Alice proclaimed, standing in front of the rock band drum set.

"Ch-Cheater! Are you crazy woman, there's no way to cheat in rock band! I won!" Emmett yelled his hands spazzing all over the place. I looked at the TV and saw that Emmett had 1 more point then Alice, though he was playing on easy while Alice played on expert.

"Alice won." I said as I picked up my backpack and went through the front pocket to get my iPod.

"What, she didn't! I have a higher score then her Eddie, can't you read!" Emmett said.

"Dipshit, you're playing on easy, Alice was playing on expert. She wins by default."

"Thank you." Alice said smugly as she twirled around Emmett who looked sad.

"Don't let it go to your head." He grumbled. Sitting down he restarted the game station.

"Right, See you later." I said backing out of the living room

"Where you going!" Both of them yelled.

"Out." I answered opening the door.

"Can I-"

"No." I cut Emmett off. And walked outside the front door. I shivered as the cold air met my cheeks but quickly adjusted to the temperature.

I saw Jasper's car pulling up the driveway. Rosalie got out of the car and without a word to me she went inside the house with a slam to the door.

"Hey man." I said to Jasper as he, unlike Rosalie, walked towards me to talk.

"Hey. She's mad." He said looking back at the house.

I shrugged, "Isn't she always."

He made a thoughtful look,

"That's true, where're you going."

"Port Angeles, I need some paint. Light green is just not my color." I said swinging my keys around my index finger

He stared at me and with narrowed eyes he started thoughtfully (cause that's the only way jasper does anything) pulling on his invisible beard.

"I agree. It totally washes you out. Barbie Pink I would say would go fabulously with your complexion."

"That's what I thought." I said seriously then continued, "Man…we need to stop going with Alice on her shopping days."

"Absolutely." He laughed once before saying, "Have fun shopping for your paints." And walking up the drive way and into the house.

I got in my car, turning the heat up to medium; I connected my iPod and went to 'Shuffle Songs'

'Into The Ocean', by Blue October started, I put the car in reverse and once I was on the open road I shifted to drive and stepped on the gas.

Within an hour I was slowing driving through the streets of Port Angeles, winding down streets until I found the first hardware store.

Home Depot was surprising full as I got a cart and made my way through the store, I walked through every aisle scanning the items and putting in new paint brushes along with rollers and trays.

I now stood in front of the wall full of little cards each having its own color. I was on the darker side, looking between three cards in my hands.

Jet-black, Raven black, and Onyx black.

_What up with the names, man. Why can't be just black…simple black? But no, it has to be raven black, jet black, onyx black, and some weird ass color that didn't even look black. It wasn't even called black. Martha Stewart has some eye issues, why would you call a color that's supposed to be black '__Francesca'? It wasn't even black…it was dark gray._

"Fuck it." I muttered to myself putting back all the cards except Jet black. Mostly because it sounded the coolest.

I started walking to the place where they give you the paint when an aisle full of spray paint cans were stacked caught my eyes.

"Oh." I said veering towards the spray cans instead.

3 hours later I was finished with everything else. I bought at least 100 dollars worth of spray paint, and 3 tubs of Jet-black paint. I searched and found a Living Spaces. After buying some things from there, they said my things would arrive first thing tomorrow.

Buy today enjoy tonight…bullshit.

It was 5 minutes until 7 when I got home. I got my iPod and left all the bags in the car.

I opened the door and a hand reached out, pulling me into the house roughly by the front of my shirt.

"Dude, you're in deep shit." Emmett whispered in my ear, I cringed away from his hot breath. There's just something about having your brother's hot breath on (or in for that matter) your ear that's seriously disturbing... especially is you're a dude.

He pushed me into the living.

"He's home!" he oh-so-helpfully yelled before he went to the couch and starting to tap his feet in anticipation.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!" Esme yelled her voice loud and frantic, she came bursting through the door that led to the kitchen. Her eyes wide and her face slightly red,

Before I could even ask what was wrong, she came up to me and with a wooden spoon thwacked it on my head a few times each time a bit more harder then the last. I shrunk down with each blow and raise my arms to defend my face. I didn't want to end up like Emmett because of my angry mother and her wooden spoon.

"Ow! Wait what'd I do! I swear it's Emmett's fault!" I managed to say, ignoring Emmett when he called out "Liar!"

Esme stopped hitting me, her weapon safely tucked within her hand, which was now resting on her hip.

"Oh so Emmett had 6th period study hall and knocked down the poor girl onto the floor spraining her ankle during her 6th period P.E!" she cried, looking horrified

"Edward if you didn't want to move you could have just said so! You didn't have to try and kill the girl!" She said, at this point Emmett busted out laughing, from the kitchen I could hear the others laughing as well.

Her words shocked me and as she opened her mouth once more I cut her off yelling,

"Whoa! Wow wait! No it wasn't like that! Hold on!"

She lost her frantic look, her face blanking out any emotion (it was kinds creepy and bi-polerish); she sat down on the sofa chair's wide armrest, calmly placing her weapon on her lap and intertwined her hands. Her legs that dangled a few inches off the floor crossed.

"I'm waiting." She said.

"First off it wasn't an actually sprain, Dad can testify to that. It was a stage one; it wasn't injured enough to be called a sprained ankle. And second it was an accident. I was all for the moving. I didn't mind. And third I don't think murder would look good on my college application."

Emmett chuckled.

"Boy don't get smart with me." Esme said, grabbing her weapon and raising it in the air with a glare.

"Okay, I'm sorry." I said leaning away and once more covering my face.

"You are going to apologize to her." She said standing and dusting off the invisible lint of off her dress.

"Okay." I said stepping out of her striking range as she walked past me.

"And you're grounded."

"Wha-" I started but then sighed and continued without protest, "Okay. How long?"

"For as long as it takes her to heal. C'mon, dinner's is getting cold." She walked out of the living room. Emmett came up to me and draped his arm around my shoulder.

Trying not to laugh though failing miserably Emmett managed to say,

"Hehe, You got beat by a spoon."

I turned my head slowly towards him and with an even gaze I said,

"Wanna get beat by my fist again."

Matching my look he said,

"You're not nice."

I shrugged.

Walking out of him hold I started for the kitchen. Everyone was already seated, I looked towards Carlisle and saw that he was fighting the urge to laugh…hell everyone was.

I sat down next to Alice and slouched in my seat. Esme brought out our plates with the help of Rosalie. Chicken Parmesan was tonight's dinner.

We all ate and like always Alice supplied the news of the day.

It was the boys' turn to clean the dishes, and by that I mean it just Jasper, Carlisle, and I cleaning. Emmett would get another serving and stand around in the kitchen until he got bored and went to watch some football or something.

"You ratted me out, dad." I saw as he unloaded the dishwasher and I put them in their respective place.

"I would say I'm sorry but strangely I'm not. I had to much joy in hearing Esme screaming at you." He said laughing at the memory.

"Ha! You've should have seen it too!" Emmett yelled from the kitchen table.

I turned towards him,

"Fist."

He made a sound of protest but either way he shut up.

"What did you do anyway?" Jasper asked, closing the fridge's door.

I sighed, "I went to 6th period and then left to explore the school. I started running as fast as I could with my head down and I didn't see she was in front of me until I'm on a soft body."

"Soft body?" Emmett laughed wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"Emmett." Carlisle said his voice firm with warning.

"Okay, okay." He said back smiling in a way to keep from laughing.

"What happened next?" Carlisle said turning towards me.

"Um… I called her Bella. She got mad and left." I said vaguely. I didn't mention her mouthing me off, don't know why but I didn't think it was necessary.

"Hmm, okay." Carlisle responded staring at me. I shrugged for no reason and then said I was heading up to my room.

I was on the 2nd floor when I veered off and headed towards Alice's room. 'Hot 'N' Cold' by Katy Perry was playing in the background as Alice was on her bed doing some geometry homework.

I knocked on the open door before leaning against the frame.

"Hi." She beamed a smile patting the empty space next to her. She went from her stomach to sitting Indian style on her bed. I sauntered towards her, leaning back on the bed, but using my arms to keep my upper body up.

"Hey, how was school?" I asked my foot starting to tap to the beat of the song.

Her smile grew as she said, "It was good. I met a lot of nice people today. Even Izzy." She said obviously going to make a move on the subject of Izzy

When I didn't say anything she closed her math book and pressed on.

"Well…do you have a class with her? I have 3rd period study hall with her."

I drew in a breath,

"I got 5th period biology."

"What was she like? I didn't have much time to talk to her, I had to go ask my teacher for the materials I would need." She said her voice ending in a glum tone.

I chuckled at the memory of 5th period and the hospital.

"She's got quite the temper."

"What do you mean?" She said looking at my expression.

I spent the rest of 'Hot 'N' Cold' and half of 'So What' by Pink explaining.

"Edward!" She scolded but ended up laughing.

I shrugged unrepentantly.

I stayed there for a bit helping her with some homework before I stood up and stretched telling her I was going to my own room.

"Good night!" she called out.

"Oh, hey. Tomorrow where some clothes you wouldn't mind getting dirty."

She narrowed her eyes at the thought but her more curious side shined through and she reluctantly nodded her head muttering, "Fine, but for what."

"Just come to my room tomorrow whenever you're ready." I said before leaving her room and finally making it to mine.

I made my inflatable bed; happy that tonight would be the last night I slept on it.

I knocked out at around 12:30.

Beep, Beep, Beep  
I groaned my hand reaching for my cell phone. I randomly pushed a button when I felt it.

I lay in bed for a few more seconds before getting up. As I stood my back cracked and I walked over to the boxes. I went through 3 before finding my clothes. I found an old pair of denim loose fitting skinny jeans along with an old baggy black  
shirt.

I took a shower, put on my clothes and slipped on some converses. I checked my watch, 7:34 it read. I ran my fingers through hair in an attempt to  
fix it. It didn't work.

Quietly, I went downstairs and outside to my car. I unlocked it and got out the bag full of spray paints and the rest of the bags as well.

I took them upstairs and sorted them on the floor. I moved the boxes to the room next over, so they wouldn't get in the way later.

I got one of those large plastic sheets I bought and placed one on the floor, covering the entire carpet so it wouldn't get dirty with the paints. I taped it to the sides of wall for extra support.

"What are you doing?"

I turned around and saw Rosalie standing in the doorway.

"Just getting ready." I answered; we haven't really talked about what went down on the vote day. I wasn't mad at her, I got over it because that's just who Rosalie is…a bitch at times. More often then not.

"For what?" She asked steeping inside the room; thankfully she was wearing slippers and not high heels.  
I thought about not telling her what I was planning to do, but she was being civil so could I.

"I thought that we could have some fun with the wall before I repainted it a new color." I looked at my watch; everyone should be if not already waking up soon.

She stayed quiet, as she looked at all the cans of paint.

"You can join in if you want. No one knows yet. I was planning to tell them during breakfast." I said, not wanting her to think I left her out on purpose.

"Thanks." She said with a small smile, like me she knew things were still shaky between us.

"Kids! Breakfast is ready!" Esme's voice flitted through the house. I stood up from my spot against the wall and headed for the door.

"You coming?" I asked when she made no move to leave.

"Yup." She said walking out if the room first.

"Morning, dear." Esme smiled as she flipped a pancake.

"Morning." I said going to her and giving her a peck on the cheek.

"I just finished the omelets and I made your favorite." She said pointing to the table; Emmett and Jasper were already eating.

I sat down and found my plate with a bacon and cheese omelet.

"Morning." Emmett mumbled, eating his food. I raised an eyebrow at him and looked at Jasper.

"He's tired."

"Oh." I said simply and started eating.

Hallway through my omelet, when everyone, including a very excited Alice, is eating I cleared my throat.

The all looked towards me.

"So, I want to have some fun in my room before I reprint the walls." I said.

"Like what?" Carlisle asked reaching to get a drink of orange juice.

"Well I bought some spray paints and I was thinking we could decorate the wall before I paint over it." I said finishing my omelet and the last of my own orange juice in one drink.

"I'm in!" Emmett yelled through a yawn. Everyone else voiced his or her thoughts, all revolving with positive feedback. Even Esme, whose eyes I had seen widen in aghast.

Rosalie caught my eye and sent me a small smile, which I returned.

After I excused myself I went to my room, and finished lining up the cans.

"Let's get this party started!" Alice and Emmett yelled their footsteps echoing in the hallway.

As soon as they got in the room, Emmett got the red can and Alice got the white and pink cans. They went to separate walls and immediately started whatever it was that they were going to make. An awkward minute of me just standing there staring at them Jasper walked in followed by Rosalie.

I found my iHome and connected my iPod, 'Dance, Dance' by Fall Out Boy blasted and we all started in our projects.

Jasper, Rosalie, Alice and I stared at Emmett's creation with all of our mouths hanging open.

"Only you man…only you." I said breaking the silence as I stared at the big, no pun intended, red dick on the wall. Alice had made a sheep that was getting in a car, Rosalie had also done the animal thing making a donkey and having it wear a sign claiming that his name was Emmett. Jasper made a checkerboard. What did I do? A rainbow of all the colors I bought. It wasn't Picasso but it looked better then Emmett's, again no pun intended, dick.

Needless to say when Esme and Carlisle came in for their turns, I wasn't the only who was grounded.

"Edward…" Esme awed as she stepped into the room the next day.

"It's gorgeous." She walked towards the new black wall and ran her hand across surface.

"Thanks." I said looking around at my new room. The walls were painted; 'Jet Black' and the old white floors were now a deep gold carpet. My bed was on the west wall with matching bed sheets. I set up my computer desk on the east wall, my CD's on the new shelves right above the screen monitor. My couch was up against the wall along with the desk.

"You did a great job." She said looking back at me as I sat on the couch.

"I had fun too." I said getting my control for my stereo system and turning it on.

"My little boys growing up." Esme said coming over and pinching my cheeks while shaking my head side to side. I gently swatted her hands away when I saw her eyes glisten slightly,

"Geez mom," I muttered, "Don't get so emotional on me. I'd like to think that I've been grown up for a while."

She laughed and nodded her head, before sighing and getting up.

"I'd better go and check on your brothers. Only the Lord knows why they would decide to have a spray paint fight."

I just shrugged.

She started walking out of the room but stopped at the door,

"Edward," She said turning once more to face me. I looked at her and she continued, "You will apologize to her tomorrow, right?" She wasn't asking, more like stating.

"Absolutely." I said nodding my head. She left after my response but my thoughts stayed to where she left them.

Honestly I felt really bad about Izzy, I guess that was my way of learning to run with my eyes open from now on.

"Oh my God, You're room looks really good." Alice barged in as I was on iTunes going through some of my play lists a couple of hours later.

"Thanks." I said cautiously as I turned in my swivel chair.

"So where's your closet?" She asked sitting on my bed.

"Somewhere in this room." I said vaguely.

Glaring at me she stuck her tongue out and eyed the room. She looked between the two doors each on the opposite ends of the wall. She pursed her lips, tapping her chin and then walked decidedly towards the door near the window. Which was my closet. It's like she can sniff out the clothes. And with all the time she spends at stores…I wouldn't be shocked if she could.

"Edward!" She yelled two seconds after walking into the closet. I snickered; Alice had OCD when it came clothing. I'm assuming she wasn't thrilled with my lack of order in my closet seeing as I just threw everything in the first place I touched.

"Yes?" I asked innocently leaning against the doorframe.

She glared at me and waved her hands all around her, gesturing to the clothing.

"There's no organization in here." She said.

"So?" I said back staring at her blankly just to get a rise out of her.

She didn't disappoint. She went on a 5-minute rant about why it was necessary to have my closet organized and when she was done she kicked me out to organize it by her standards.

An hour later she came out with a content smile lightly swinging her hands back and forth freely.

"I'm done. I also took the liberty of picking out your outfits for the week. Wear them exactly the way they are. You're welcome" She pranced forwards and kissed my cheek and laughed at my actions when I reached up to wipe her slobbery kiss off.

"Thanks Alice." I said as she walked out of the room.

The rest of Sunday was pretty boring. I went downstairs and tinkered around the piano for a while when everyone was outside playing mud football. Don't get me wrong I love playing sport with the rest of them but seeing as I always ended up with Emmett tackling me I didn't want to go and break a rib today.

"Rose, we're gonna be late!" Emmett yelled in the foyer holding the front door open.

"Shut up Emmett! I'll take my own car then! It takes time to look good!" She angrily yelled back.

"Well if you say so. " Emmett muttered scratching his head. "Bye mom!"

"Bye kids!" Esme yelled from the kitchen and all four of us, walked out of the house. We had 10 minutes to get to school. I unlocked the doors and turned the heater up to high as soon as the car was turn on.

"Damn! I swear my balls are gonna turn blue from the cold and they gonna fall off." Emmett said warming up his cuffed hands with his breath

"Seriously?" I asked disgust filling me; only Emmett would announce his ball troubles like that so shamelessly.

"Yes." Emmett said seriously looking at me.

"Yes, what?" I asked having no clue what he was talking about.

"Yes…they will fall off." He said simply.

Alice, Jasper and I stared at Emmett for a split second before we started laughing. We ignored him when he asked what was so funny.

He was still pouting by the time we got to school and left with a mutter of "You guys are mean." Before going to his class.

"Bye Edward." Alice and Jasper said before walking away as well. I ran a hand through my hair, and made my way to my math class.

The classes flew by but not fast enough lunch was a drag, Rose was ignoring Emmett for leaving her at home and she took her anger out on us. Like I said a bitch at time, more often then not.

The bell rang and we all said out good byes once more. I saw a glimpse of Izzy as I made my way to my locker getting out my biology notebook and textbook.

I walked to class slowly wondering what was going to happen, I opened the door and the room was fairly empty. Izzy was sitting at the table, leaning her head against the cool dark blue surface. She was listening to her iPod with her eyes closed. I went to my side of the desk silently but didn't sit down just yet. The music was loud and I could the murmur of it playing, when a song I didn't recognize ended I took the short pause to clear my throat.

She blinked her eyes and straightened up. Her deep brown eyes met mine and I stuck my hand out.

"Sorry about almost spraining your ankle. I'm Edward."

* * *

So! did it suck? was it good!

Please review!

Now on to some thing i should have done a while back.

**Dear SureAsHellIsRain,**

**I am not mad at you, i got over it i swear! i would love to put everything behind us, if it's okay with you.**

I hope your still reading my story  
**  
Please forgive me. I don't regret posting the A/N but i do regret making you feel bad.**

I was not offended in anyway please understand that!

I hope this is enough for now to help things smooth over

**~BlackaddictReader (a really sorry girl named Stacy who hopes you didn't stop reading!)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey! So this is it! Chapter 9! i felt bad since the last chapter (i think, it all gets fuzzy now, lol) was a total filler.**  
**I'm extremely nervous because i didn't expect to put so much of Izzy's past in this chapter (well you might not think its a lot but it is.)**  
**Oh with the reading!**  


* * *

…

4:21AM

…

5:34AM

…

6:15AM

Beep, Beep, Be-

I yanked the alarm clock out of its socket, but didn't get up just yet. I silently sighed as I reached my arms out of their warm comfort to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

Today was Monday and the only thing I could think of to summarize this weekend would be:

It was a bitch.

I couldn't do anything by the end of Friday that included walking very much. I stayed in my room all Saturday and on Sunday except when I had to drag myself out of bed to get some food in me.

I stretched in bed, hearing some bones crack as I did so.

I slowly rotated my bad foot in a wide circle, alert for any kind of pain. After 10 rotations all I got was a sore feeling to it.

I looked towards the window; there was a veil of frost covering the edges of it. It was going to be cold today. It might even rain later in the day.

_All the more reason to stay in bed today, _I thought but nevertheless started an attempt to get out of bed. But trust me I wanted nothing more than to stay in my nice warm bed and just be a lazy bum all day long for one more day.

_The things I do for you Angela, the things I do for you. _ I thought once more as I instantly started shivering when my foot touched the cold wooden floor. During the night, I realized, my socks must have come off.

I walked to the bathroom, turning the water all the way to high.

I stripped out of my jammies and got in the shower, feeling myself become more alert and physically awake. I was woken up again by a bad dream, and though I couldn't recall it back to mind as soon as I had woken up, I knew it was a nightmare. My body had felt clammy and my heartbeat pounded in my eardrums.

I furrowed my eyebrows together as I fruitlessly tried once more to remember my nightmare. Some of them were more intense then others, letting me remember the nightmare as soon as I woke up but this one I knew I hadn't had in a long time. I scrubbed my strawberry shampoo into my hair massaging my scalp as I did so.

I rinsed it out and went on to my conditioner, I stood under the cascade of water letting it run down the side of my head as I ran my fingers through my hair to get the knots out. I kept thinking, or rather trying to think about the nightmare. Either I was a masochist for trying to remember or I was just plain stupid. I opted with the latter. I could feel the nightmare right there in my head just out of reach from remembrance.

I gave out a tiny gasp as I roughly pulled at my hair, my fingers getting caught within a big knot.

My body froze and chilled to ice as I finally grabbed a hold of the nightmare

He threw me to the ground, muttering cuss words to himself. I caught myself with my hands. Just inches away from her. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was shallow and slow.

_Passed out, I thought, not dead. _

_A loud crash came from behind me and little shards of glass rained onto the floor just half a second later. _

"_You little bitch." He growled, as I slowly turned around._

"_Run." She had yelled out in desperation. But I didn't listen, I hesitated and now I was in this situation. I got to my feet; shivering from the pure terror I felt seeping through me as I stared into his cold hard eyes. _

_Run! Her voice replayed once more in my head. _

_And I did just that. I spun on my heels of my shoes and started for the front of the warehouse. _

_I tired to scream for help but no sounds came out of my mouth when I opened it._

_The door handle was just inches from my reach when a hand entangled itself within my hair. It caught between the knots and formed into a fist. It yanked my head backwards and tears sprung from my eyes as I felt the pieces of hair being ripped out so hard, my scalp could have started bleeding a bit._

_The hand readjusted its hold on my hair and pulled once more, dragging me back further into the warehouse and away from the door._

My legs giving out on me brought everything back to the present; I fell to the hard porcelain tub floor, the water beating down my back. I repositioned myself on the floor tucking my naked legs to my chest and slowly rocking in place. The walls were spinning and I had that back throat taste I got before I threw up. I took deep breaths. Droplets of water landing in my mouth.

Just a nightmare…it's just a nightmare now I thought trying to calm down, placing my cheek to the wall that wasn't being sprayed by the water. The cold frigid wall helping me calm down faster. Helping me push the memory away faster.

I took out my ear buds after having parked in the school parking lot. I coiled the earphones around my iPod and got out of the car, putting my checkered hat back on. I reached back inside for my backpack then locked the door. Leaning against the car, I got out my phone, I texted Angela asking her if she was here yet.

I was staring at my shoes, black and white checkered shoes, and thought I did a good job in having a nice outfit today.

My cell phone buzzed and Angela replied that she was walking out of the cafeteria right now.

"Good Morning!" She smiled when she was 3 feet away.

I tilted my head up in greeting.

I waited for her to continue.

Yesterday she texted me around 5pm saying that I had…_had_ to be in school tomorrow because she needed my help, so I came.

Catching on quick, she got straight to the point.

"I need to practice for my Concert Choir class."

'So' I signed with my fingers.

She sighed,

"Will help me with some of the scales on the piano or not?"

I cracked a smile, though it felt off, and nodded.

She face gave way to huge smile and she reached towards me hugging me tight.

"Thank you! Thank you! Can we practice during lunch?"

I nodded again and gently pushed her away to get myself out of her bear hug.

She laughed and her look strayed to my shirt which was somewhat covered by my black and dark gray sweater.

"I like your shirt." She said pulling down my sweaters zipper.

I looked down at my shirt; it was a Nightmare before Christmas shirt with Jack on it.

I rolled my eyes; Angela has recently become obsessed with all things Nightmare before Christmas. I knew what to get her for Christmas this year.

I redid my zipper and shifted my backpack further up my shoulder.

The bell rang and we started for class and what was the best way to start off the school day…with a pop quiz that's how. I wonder if Mr. Anderson enjoys boring us to death…or at least close to it.

I went through the classes in motion, not really paying attention, though halfway through 3rd I started becoming more like myself. I was finishing up some last minute homework outside on one of the scattered tables around campus. The cold wind felt good against my skin, it helped me stay focused, on my math homework.

When I was done I put my stuff back into my backpack and placed it on the table. I scooted towards the middle of the tables' bench and decided to lie down, staring at the sky that was full of all different shades of gray clouds.

I felt my head tilt to the side as I heard a sound in my head. I didn't move as I hoped that the small sound would come again. In my head the notes sounded like they would be played off of a piano. I closed my eyes, envisioning my piano and the same new notes in my head, but I couldn't exactly place where the keys were coming from. The bells low ring interrupted my thinking and I sighed annoyed as the piano disappeared from my mind.

I got my stuff off the table and made my way through the rapidly thickening mass of students in the hallway towards my locker. I swapped out some books for the next periods and then veered away from the crowd to take the long way around school towards the music building.

It was usually empty during lunch; the music teacher didn't have a 1st or 2nd period. So he came for 3rd but then went home to eat, leaving the music room empty but unlocked.

I opened the door, reaching my hands towards my mouth to warm them up.

I placed the door stop to keep the door from closing and dropped my backpack in front of the piano, before going to the white board and writing down some of warm ups I knew.

"Izzy?" I heard Angela call out before the door opened.

I turned my head from my place at the whiteboard; I waved at her once before going back to my work.

"Do Re Mi's?" She asked going to the piano and randomly pressing her fingers on some of the keys.

I nodded recapping the dry erase marker and walked towards the piano as well.

"So where do we start?" Angela asked nervously wringing her hands.

I bit my lip and got out my cell phone. I opened up a new note and typed

**Why are you nervous?**

I placed my cell phone on the top of the piano, letting Angela read it.

She smiled shyly and said, "T hat noticeable?"

I nodded my head as I stared at the keys, my attention between here and back at the bench, torn in half.

"I don't know." Angela said I looked up as I took in her sincere tone.

She smiled, "I guess I just don't want you to be horrified by my singing." She gave a small laugh and shrugged.

"I won't be horrified." I mouthed

"You'll see." She said clearing her throat.

I smiled a bit and then started playing the warm ups.

After 10 minutes of warm ups, I asked why she was doing this.

She said that the teacher was going to randomly call out some of the students and they would need to perform the scales in a pitch that he asks of.

"So, were you horrified?" She asked playfully, walking back through the door, she had left to go get some food. I wasn't hungry so I didn't bother wasting money on food I wouldn't eat.

I shook my head as I ran my fingers over the keys of the piano,

"You aren't that bad." I signed before starting to play my rendition of 'Numb' by Linkin Park.

"Hey, Iz?" She asked casually, finishing up her chocolate milk before coming to stand in front of the upright piano.

I kept on playing, knowing that she knew she had my attention. I watched my fingers skim along the keys playing the song, the notes jumping from my head to my fingers.

"What's up with you and Edward Cullen?"

The song came to a sudden collapse as I hit the wrong note. My head shot up and I mouth,

"What do you mean?" I regained my cool, cracking my knuckles to relax them before restarting where I abruptly left off.

"Well, I was just thinking about Friday and I realized something." She took a dramatic pause, only continuing when I slowly raised my head and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have a crush on him or something?" She said in a somewhat squeal like voice.

As if the mere thought burned me I jumped out of my chair and mouthed

"What the fuck!"

Coming around the piano with a big smile, she came towards me. She clasped her hands on my shoulders and said,

"It'd be so totally cute if you did!" She continued.

Quickly I all but slammed (but gently) my hand on her mouth before she could keep on talking.

"Shut up. Just shut up." I mouthed, glaring a bit. I've done a pretty damn good job on not thinking about that jackass all weekend.

I kept my hand on her mouth for a few more seconds, silently, wordlessly telling her to calm down.

I stepped back, massaging my temple.

"What gave you that idea?" I signed slowly. She eyes were trained on my fingers, as I finished the last letter she immediately replied, as if it was the simplest thing on the planet.

"He made you blush. "

I put my hands on my hips and mouthed,

"The sun makes me red, does that mean I have a crush on the sun."

She stared for a second then said,

"What sun? It's all clouds and rain here, but seriously. I haven't seen you blush like that since like…the 6th grade."

I stared at her for a split second, before turning my head away.

She stared laughing, oblivious of the sudden change in my demeanor. I randomly bit my thumbnail and looked back her.

"I remember our teacher would call on you for an answer and as all the kids turned their heads to look at you, your face," She paused her laughter getting the best of her, "Your face turned tomato red," She snapped her finger," Just like that. It was like watching a light switch on your face being turned on."

I wet my upper lip with my tongue as I awkwardly stood there,

"Gee thanks for making me feel stupid." I mouthed as the end of lunch bell rang.

"I'm sorry." She said amusement still in her voice.

I shrugged rolling my eyes and went to get my backpack. We walked out of the classroom together, going the same long way to avoid the swarm of people. We separated at the end of the hall, and I headed towards my math class. As I walked into the class I got a white slip of blank piece of paper from the board, then going to my desk. On the board there was a warm up, so I slouched back into my seat. I stifled the tiny urge to yawn and started working on the problem.

When I was finished there was only two minutes left of passing period. Remembering I had a book in my backpack I reached down, quietly unzipping my bag. Once I had my book and closed my backpack back up I straighten up only to jump in my seat when I did so.

Emmett Cullen started laughing at me reaction; leaning away from where his face had been about seven inches away from mine.

"Hi." He said calming down from his fit of laughter. Slowly I placed my book on the desktop and waved a hesitant hand back to him. Casually he seated himself in the seat next to mine, facing me completely instead of facing the front of the class. He kicked his legs up settling them down on my desks metal bar thing. You know that keeps you from going (or falling) to the left. I stared at them for a moment trying not to get my sweater dirty then internally shrugged. I turned to my book, opening to where I had left off before. But sadly the bell rang after one sentence of reading later.

"Good afternoon, Class." Mr. Yeh said taking a swig out of his bottle of coke. I put my book back into my backpack, switching for my math notebook and pencil pouch.

A couple of minutes into the lesson, Emmett leaned over and whispered,

"Did you know that 'Cock juggling thunder cunt' is one of, if not, the worst insults ever?"

With slow deliberate movements I turned my head towards him.

"Really?" I mouthed my attention being completely diverted from Mr. Yeh.

A big smile came across Emmett's face as he nodded.

_Cock juggling thunder cunt…interesting, _I thought.

"Yeah, want to know something else?" He asked.

I slowly nodded my head, unsure of what else he would come up with. But it was funnier then having multi step equations being reviewed.

Emmett smirked and motioned me to come closer.

"How was math?" Angela said meeting me at my locker.

I silently chuckled shaking my head,

"You don't want to know." I typed at my fastest speed on my cell phone before showing her. I opened my locker and switched my math book for my biology.

"Really?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"C'mon tell me." She said as we started walking to class.

I looked at her as we walked and mouthed,

"Do you know what happens to a lap when we stand up?" Angela stopped walking tilting her head to the side, as she processed the sentence.

I kept on walking looking straight ahead as I squeezed through the groups of kids crowding the hallway. A second later Angela caught up to me and said in an awed voice,

"I don't know."

I shrugged casually opening the door and motioning for her to go inside first.

As she walking through the door she turned and said, "Do you?"

I shook my head and thought _neither does Emmett._

Angela went to her desk and started talking to Ben, she was very happy when Mr. Banner moved her desk.

I went to my table, happy it was still empty and sat down.

I got out my iPod, and scrolled down to shuffle.

'My Love' by We Came as Romans off of the Punk Goes Pop vol. 3 CD came through the earphones. I slowly tapped my foot to the beat of the song resting my head on my arms and closing my eyes.

The song came to an end and I heard a throat clear. I hit pause, blinking at the light and straightened up. A thermal black long sleeve shirt was the first thing I saw. I looked up and met my biology partner's bright green eyes.

With a sudden movement he stuck his hand out and said, "Sorry about almost spraining your ankle. I'm Edward."

His sleeves were pushed up to his elbow showing his pale skin, but for a second the whole room changed.

_I was in Forks elementary school, sitting on the only bench in the all but empty front of the school waiting for my dad to come and pick me up. A boy about 2 years older than me walked up to me and with a smile stuck out his hand. He was wearing a white and blue-stripped shirt and no sweater._

"_Hi. I'm James." Even though there hasn't been a sunny day in forks for months his skin color had a nice tan color to it._

_My naïve 9-year-old self, smiled back and reached to shake his hand saying,_

"_Hi. I'm Isabella."_

The memory bounced and played in my head in the span of a few seconds. Nothing to long for him to notice anything, I blinked once more. I made my body relax from its state of tension, and shook my head. I turned away from Edward and opened my notebook I had in front of me. I got my pen out of my pocket and wrote

**You've already introduced yourself on Friday.**

I pushed the notebook to the edge of the desk, letting him read it. He looked back up and smiled a somewhat sheepish smile,

"Trying to make a better first impression?" He said though it came out as a question

**Mission Failed. Jackass.**

I turned back to my desk taking out my earphones and then once winding them around my iPod, putting it inside my backpack once more. I flipped the page on the notebook, and started doodling on a fresh page. I heard Edward sigh and he walked to his side of the desk.

"I really am sorry." He said sincerely,  
"How's your foot?" He asked, pointing to my feet. I turned to him and mouthed, "Okay."

I shrugged just Mr. Banner walked in with the bell ringing a second later.

I turned to the front of the room, the conversation evidently ended.

"Good day, class. Please open your text nooks to page 231." Mr. Banner conducted setting up some things on his table.

"That'll be enough for today." Mr. Banner said closing his textbook, the rest of the class following soon after. There was 10 minutes left of class, we had spent the entire time reading and going over meiosis and mitosis. I drummed my fingers against the desk, not bothering to turn around and get Angela's attention from Ben. From here I could hear the two of them fumbling along their words, and sharing slightly awkward chuckles.

My drumming finger came to a sudden stop though when Mr. Banner placed a packet of 3 pages stapled together on my hands.

"I almost forgot." He told the class giving each table a packet, when he got back to the front he continued.

"We're going to start our semester project," he waited for the groans and whines to start; he wasn't disappointed.

"Now, now it's not that bad. We're going to be doing this as a shared project. Meaning your going to have a partner." Immediately the talking across the room began, all the kids trying to get their partner.

"Settle down." He ordered, "I will be assigning your partners."

Another set of groans, and a set of an eye roll from yours truly.

I honestly didn't care who my partner was as long as I didn't get Edward.

"Your partner will be the person seating right next to you."

I stared at him blankly and dryly thought, _of course._

I refused to turn around and look at Edward; thankfully the bell rang just then.

As everyone began to walk towards the door, Mr. Banner yelled out,

"Go over the topics from the packet. We'll continue tomorrow."

I walked out the door moving to the side of it to wait for Angela.

"Aren't you going to be late for P.E?" she asked walking out of the classroom 3 minutes later.

I shook my head and signed, 'Not going'

"Oh Izzy." She laughed shaking her head before giving me hug and saying, "I'll text you later." Then starting to walk to her next class. Me on the other hand I walked towards the parking lot.

I was halfway there when I saw Jessica and Lauren talking to Alice just a few feet away. I stopped walking waiting to see what would happen. Alice had that same bubbly smile she had when I first saw her, Jessica and Lauren had that same look that made you think they had something shoved up their ass.

"Why are you talking again?" Lauren asked looking down at Alice,

"I asked can you tell me where room 43 is." Alice answered her high voice ringing through the quiet hallway.

"And why would we do that?" Jessica answered giving out that annoying laugh of hers.

"Um, it'd be the nice thing to do?" Alice said though it sounded like a question. I saw Lauren and Jessica share a look, obviously planning to do something stupid and before I know what I was doing I got out my cell phone and sent Jessica a text. Jessica was one of those stupid people who loved giving out her cell phone number; the whole school had it, sadly even I did.

I walked to them as I waited for my text to be received; Alice saw me first and waved at me. I walked and stood beside her; before they could ask what I was doing Jessica's cell phone started playing some Britney Spears song. She opened the text, reading it before looking up.

"Did you send me the text?" She asked as showing her phone to me. My text read

Leave her alone, Jessica

I looked at her and nodded; she scoffed and said, "Why should I listen to you?"

I tilted my head to the side and tapped my chin, before mouthing (obviously she would understand all she does is talk in class)

"Because I'm sure you wouldn't want my dad, the chief of police, to know about that weed you bought today."

She narrowed her eyes and said, "You're full of shit."

"Really? I'm pretty sure you still have it in your locker. Mike gave it to you, didn't he?" I continued mouthing.

She clenched her jaw saying, "You better not tell." Before grabbing Lauren by the arm and dragging her away muttered certain words I'm sure were directed at me.

"She bought weed?" Alice whispered shocked, her eyes wide. I nodded my head reaching to get her schedule out of her hand.

"My schedule was changed during lunch." She explained

For 6th period she had Art 101 with a Mrs. Deluca in room 43.

I gave her back the piece of paper before mouthing,

"Go towards the auditorium but take the first door on the left. That's the entrance to the arts building. Mrs. Deluca has one of the first classrooms in there."

Alice smiled really big and said, "Thank you so much!" she waved good-bye and then started to speed walk towards the auditorium.

I pulled the car into the driveway, killing the engine once I parked. Getting my things I got out of the car, locking it before heading towards the front door.

I opened the door and took a step into the house when a god-awful smell hit my nose

I dropped my bag as smoke accompanied the horrible odor.

Running to the kitchen I saw a few things. Dishes piled up, some sauce splattered on the walls and the stove full of pots boiling over. I turned off all the burners, reaching above the stove to turn on the fan and pushing it on to high.

A pan with olive oil was bubbling and bursting, I took that off of the heat first, and then got to the pan of what seemed to be… or rather what used to be ground beef. Though it was anything but that now, considering that it was burnt black and stuck to the bottom of the pan. Carefully I got a rag and grabbed the pots handle. I dumped it into the sink and turned on the cold water, I stepped back as steam blew from it.

Thirty minutes later all the pot were cooled off and the pile of dishes were finally all on the drying rack, and the walls weren't polka dotted, with what I realized to be spaghetti sauce.

I threw my hair up in a high messy ponytail, feeling dirty from the water that splashed on me when I was washing the dishes and from the bit of sweat that I accumulated when I had to pick at the ground beef disaster. I sighed feeling tried, walking out of the now clean and orderly kitchen getting my bag once more and heading up the stairs.

The bathroom door opened when I was at the top of the stairs, and a newly showered Renée stepped out.

Confusion dominated her facial features, before shock made its way.

"What time is it?" she asked tilting her head to the side.

I shrugged getting my cell phone out my pocket and pressing a random button to wake up the screen.

2:34pm

"Aren't you supposed to be in school right now?" She asked again

I shrugged again then skirted around her going to my room.

Sitting on my bed I got my iPod out and played some New Age stuff, halfway through 'Kiss Me' by Yiruma I dimly heard Renée scream out "The food!"

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head and turned the volume up louder.

The rest of the day was boring, that that was an understatement. Renée had gotten back from her meeting in Florida just this morning and had tried to surprise the family with a home cooked dinner.

This was kind of stupid since she doesn't know how to cook. We had all decided the role of family cook would be assigned to me after I had watched the food channel all day and made one of the recipes I had learned. I was only 11.

Tuesday came and went and so did Wednesday. Today was Thursday currently lunchtime at Forks high; Angela and I had abandoned the bench and got a new table. And surely not by the means of stealing it from some freshmen kids. Note to self: don't look towards the group of glaring kids sitting at said bench.

"My dad's been doing really well at work lately." Angela said suddenly, I turned away from the bench kids; notes to selves don't really work.

"That's good…" I mouthed slightly biting my lip and ripping the dry pieces of skin off my chapped lips. Note to self: find Chap Stick

"I don't think Charlie's shot anyone this month." I continued, filling the conversation.

Her eyes widened and she said, "I sure hope not. I may not know from experience but that might be painful!"

I shrugged, taking a bite of my apple.

"So guess what I heard. Someone was being nice." Angela said pointing an accusing finger towards me. Playing oblivious I looked both ways and then pointed at myself in shock.

She nodded, "I heard you busted Jessica's chops when she tried to prank Alice. Blackmail included."

I blinked at her choice of words.

(A/N: I'm trying something new, when she signs it's going to have single quotation marks, or whatever they're called…have I done that before? I don't know anyway back to my story)

'What does that even mean?' I signed, tilting my head to the side.

She shrugged reaching over to snatch a nacho from my lunch tray. I pushed the thing towards her, she gladly accepted it.

"I don't know, but it was fun saying it." She said, covering her mouth with her hand as she talked with her mouth full.

She tends to forget her manners whenever there's nacho cheese involved, but luckily she caught herself this time.

I rolled my eyes playfully at her, taking another bite of my apple.

'It wasn't a big deal.' Signing with an apple cradled in your hands is a lot harder then you'd think.

"I thought you didn't like Alice very much." She said dipping her finger in the extra cheese.

I shrugged mouthing, "She didn't deserve to be fucked with."

She smiled "It was still kind of you…hey speaking of the Cullen family, are you going to sing tomorrow?"

I rolled my jaw at the thought but nodded nonetheless.

"What song are you going to sing?" She asked her eyes lighting up as the usually did.

'I don't know yet.' I mouthed, getting out my cell phone to check the time. I started picking up my trash since there was only one minute left in lunch.

As we went towards the trash cans Angela tugged on sweaters sleeve and said just loud enough for me to hear.

"This may not matter but, I'm proud of you for helping her." She let go smiling softly and then waved heading in the opposite direction to class.

Math…cue sigh…math was as interesting as it could get with Emmett sitting next to you. Right now I was standing outside of my Biology class, waiting until the last possible moment to enter class so I wouldn't have to 'talk' to Edward. Counting down the last minutes seconds I walked into class 20 seconds before the bell rang.

Mr. Banner kept the whole class busy the entire period, but it didn't last long. His laziness got the best of him and he ended the lesson with 10 minutes left to class.

I doodled in my notebook, filling up a page with squiggles.

"Class," Mr. Banner suddenly said and we all looked up to stared at him, "I suggest you start doing the independent research with your partner, if not then you'll fall behind."

"Should we?" Edward asked as the classes chatting got louder. I turned to look at him; he had his left elbow on the desk with his hand cupping his chin as he stared at me.

I shrugged slightly, puffing out my cheeks and then playing with the air in my mouth by swishing it side to side.

He chuckled and dropped his hand, shaking his head.

I cocked my head to the side, wondering why he was laughing

Looking at my face he sobered up a little and somewhat sardonically said,

"I don't get how you can talk to Emmett, and help Alice and Jasper but can't say one thing to me."

I looked at him for a second longer before turning and getting my notebook. I flipped to an open page and wrote

**Simple, I don't like you.**

I held it up towards him with a slight smile, his eyes moved as he read the short sentence.

"Lovely," he said dryly.

He looked around the class before running a hand through his hair sighing.

"Look whether you like me or not, we have to have some communication at some point. I want a good grade in this class, so what did I do to make you not like me so much?"

I raised an eyebrow causing him to backtrack,

"Okay fine, besides tackling you, I mean."

I bit my lip, thinking back and came up with nothing.

"Well?" He said a moment later.

'I…don't…know.' I mouthed slowly playing with a strand of my hair that fell towards my forehead.

"Then how about we start over?" He said, "A fresh start."

"_Sometimes I just want to run away you know. A fresh start." He whispered breaking the silence that had surrounded us for a while now._

_I looked to my left and met his eyes. His hand inched over to my mine and linked our fingers._

"_You would come with me?" He continued whispering. I looked at our joined hands and then back up top his eyes and smiled._

"_Of course I would. You're my best friend. I'd never want to lose you." I scooted over to him, until our arms were pressed together and sighed as we continued watching the pitch black sky which was being rippled by the scattered lighting rays._

Nausea settled in the pit of my stomach and I felt my mouth starting watering. I clamped my mouth shut as my vision twirled. I looked away from Edward, the flashback sickening me to the bone. Thankfully the bell rang just then, and as all the kids rushed out of the room I tried to follow along. I jumped out of my chair and started walking towards the door, but as I got two steps in, I was stopped by a hand grabbing my upper arm.

I turned around, breathing deeply but discreetly.

"We weren't done talking." Edward said not letting his hold loosen.

I rolled my eyes and tried to walk.

"Stop." He laughed slightly, "Look I know it sounds stupid and childish, but seriously. I want a fresh start with you." I turned back and saw that he had his free hand open and waiting.

The room spun the tiniest of bits, before settling back into place. I felt lightheaded. When he thought I wouldn't walk away he let go of my arm, but kept his open hand extended.

I stared at his hand, seriously contemplating his request, when he spoke again. Looking in his green eyes I saw determination,

"You say no now, I'll keep bugging…Izzy."  
I met his eyes; he deliberately said my 'preferred' name. I shook my head at him and looked back to his hand. I bit my bottom, the flashback and the now merging together. I took a deep breath and then met his hand halfway. His warm hand wrapped around my own, tightening just a tad as we shook slowly.

"A fresh start then." He said a smile making its way to his face.  
Staring into his eyes, I got a somewhat nervous feeling and mouthed,  
'A fresh start.'

* * *

**So what'd you think? did i redeem myself from the filler chapter? **

**AND I HAVE TO SAY FUCK YES! NOW I CAN GET THE DAMN PLOT MOVING I SWEAR THE CHAPTERS DRAGGED OOOOOONNN! FUCK MAN THATS WHY IT TOOK ME SOO LONG TO UPDATE BECAUSE I NEEDED SO MUCH TO GO INTO THIS CHAPTER!  
well that and i had an essay paper to write. it was like 200 points or something. i didn't do it. *shrugs* oh well.  
On the side note these are my grades in order of my classes(which i wont mention)  
A,B,D,B,A,B.  
:( My parents aren't happy with that.  
Oh well! at least i have no F's!  
Okay enough with my blabbing. **

**REVIEW! PLEASE!  
P.s. sorry for any mistakes.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey! Alright so here is the 10th chapter, and as you can see its short. which i am ashamed to post but i needed too because i need to get to the next chapter. **

**Oh and as for that last glee inspired chapter...for right now anyway it doesn't have anything to do with the story other then that its a clue for eddie and bella's relationship.  
On Ward with the reading! please.  
**

* * *

"Alright, thank you. Please call me if anything else comes up." I heard Renée say. Her voice shook as she sighed and hung up the phone. I closed the front door softly as I let myself in, taking off my shoes as I did so since I didn't want to track the mud in. I made my way to the kitchen where I had heard Renée. She had her forehead resting against the wall, just besides the phone. Charlie was also there, his hands giving Renée's shoulder a massage.  
I stood there staring at them, slightly confused. I highly doubted that Renée was crying because of me today, as far as I knew I gave Doctor Cullen nothing to complain about…well besides…never mind. Anyway.  
It was Charlie who noticed me first, and with out technically looking at him, I nodded my head to Renée. Silently asking what was wrong.  
"Izzy." He said, though it came out as a sigh. Renée looked up, her eyes slightly red and her mascara leaving a faint black trail down her cheeks.  
"Oh, Izzy." Renée cried rushing over to me and engulfing me in a monster hug, her perfume tickled my nose. I stood there, letting Renée sway us side to side. I assume Charlie noticed my slight discomfort and slowly disentangled Renée from me.  
"I'm sorry, it's just." Renée managed to get before her tears got the best of her and she leaned into Charlie. As he gently rubbed her back soothingly, he told me,  
"Grandma Swan, was admitted into a hospital today. Early this morning she suffered from a heart attack."  
My eyes widened as I took a breath. I haven't heard or thought of my grandmother in the longest of times, but the news hit me. I couldn't image her weak and vulnerable in a hospital bed. When I was younger, about 5, we would take family trips down to phoenix. Grandma was always up and about. More often then not she would always be with me playing tag, or hide and seek.  
"She'll be okay. But she'll need to stay there for a few weeks just to make sure. Or at least that's what Grandpa said." He continued.  
'Oh,' I only mouthed.  
"You don't need to worry. She'll be fine." He said nodded to his own words.  
'Okay.' I replied, then went over to the fridge where I pretended to try and find something to eat.  
"Let's get you to bed." Charlie murmured to Renée, and I heard their footstep walk out of the kitchen and up the stairs.  
Reluctantly I got a cold water bottle out and took a small drink, closing the fridge door and going over to the sink. I held the water in my mouth for a few seconds staring at the stainless steal sink before swallowing.  
I tried to wrap my head around my grandmothers recent state of health, but simply couldn't.  
I placed the water bottle on the ledge of the counter, biting my lip, wondering if I should send a get well card to grandma…or something like that.  
I let out a silent sigh as I reached for my water again, but ended up pushing it. It swayed side to side before it fell backwards, toward the sink.  
I stared at the water gurgling out of the bottle and making a small vortex before finally going down the drain.  
_Get well soon grandma._ I thought as I picked up the now empty plastic bottle and chucked it into the recycling bin underneath the counter.  
I got my bags from their place on the floor and trekked up the stairs. I did my homework…well most of it. The rest I would just do tomorrow in 3rd. I went to my computer turning it on and waiting for it to load. After which I opened up iTunes. I went music browsing for a while, adding some songs to my wish list as I did so. It was about 7 when I got a text message from Angela.  
**Hey Iz, I won't be going to school tomorrow. Mom got sick, so I'll have to take care of her. **She said in the text. I frowned and replied okay and I hope her mom got better soon. We kept texting for a while and I ended up falling into a restless sleep

The rest of the week flew by fast; Angela was in and out of school. Going every other day. She didn't fall behind, thanks to me though. Her mother was still very ill, though one of the doctors said it wasn't anything fatal. I didn't tell Angela about my grandmother, she had enough on her plate so I didn't think I should bother to tell her. It'd only get her upset. Shockingly the Cullens had become slightly more tolerable; Emmett and I had bonded over more inappropriateness, Jasper, who was okay to begin with was still okay. He even let me copy his homework on Tuesday when I forgot to do it. Alice, that little ray of sunshine and pixie sticks…well…I accepted her…her spunk grew on me. But she learned not to talk so much when I was trying to do my homework or read. She learns quickly. The She Bitch…uh I mean Rosalie… she didn't bother me, I didn't bother her. Everyone survived.  
It was Edward that added the shockingly to my statement. He wasn't all that bad, you know now that he didn't act like a dipshit…or a dumb fuck…or a jackass. Well at least as much as before.  
"Hey." I looked up from my notebook where I had started doodling, lost in thought.  
I gave him a half ass wave hello, as I shifted on my chair, trying to get more comfortable. It was Friday today, like I said the week flew by fast. And again like I said, Angela was out today.  
"Tired?" he guessed leaning his chin on his hand, as he turned towards me. I shook my head no, but just then a random yawn decided to creep out.  
He chuckled and said, "Me too. Good thing it's almost the weekend."  
**I suppose. **I printed on my doodled on paper.  
He twisted his torso to look backwards, then straightening back; he said  
"Angela isn't here today?"  
I shook my head  
"Did you eat lunch?"  
I nodded my head, drawing a little caricature of a kitty sleepy.  
"I didn't see you in the cafeteria, did you eat alone."  
I sighed internally; ever since we 'turned a new leaf' he tries to make me involved with the conversation.  
**I brought some food from home. Yes I ate alone, why? **I wrote on the margin of my paper in small writing.  
He shrugged bringing his red and black plaid long sleeved arm up to run a hand through his oddly bronzed colored hair. (**A/N: I hate this sentence with a passion but am to lazy to change it.**)  
"You could have sat with us." He casually said.  
**Thanks but no thanks. **I scribbled, trying not to sound like a bitch... or rather that much of a bitch.  
He smirked after he read the note, and with an arrogant tone he said,  
"Can't handle this?"  
I scoffed and just shook my head at him, turning away as the bell rang. Only Mr. Banner still wasn't here yet. So he continued the conversation.  
"C'mon, we can't be that bad." He said to which I didn't respond, only stared.  
"I said _that_ bad." He backtracked. I cracked a smile shaking my head.  
"Okay next time that Angela is absent, sit with us…deal?" He said raising an eye brow.  
His words struck a nerve of annoyance in me, but I didn't let it show.  
'And if I don't agree?' I mouthed raising an eye brow as well.  
"I'm pretty sure you won't, because I'm going to tell Alice that you already said yes." He simply said.  
I glared and finally Mr. Banner walked in.

I was pushed and around in the locker room as all the girls hustled around getting ready to leave as soon as the bell rang. Making a break for it I scuttled to the empty corner near to where the handicapped lockers were. I sat down in the bench, resting my head against the tiled wall. And just a few minutes of staring at the dirty floor the bell rang, and the series of locker being slammed closed proceeded. I waited until the room was empty before slowly getting up to change myself. When I was finished it was about 10 minutes after the bell rang. I turned my iPod on, heading straight to shuffle as I walked out of the locker room.  
'Remember When (Used to Be Used To It)' by There For Tomorrow played for the majority of the ride to the hospital. I eased into an empty space, and turned off the car. I rubbed my eyes as yet another yawn escaped. I shook my head and got out of the car. It was drizzling as I walked into the hospital; I waved a hello to a sleepy Jenny as I pasted the reception desk and headed straight to the session room. I assumed that Dr. Cullen was already there and I was right. I knocked on the already opened door, to make my presence known. Dr. Cullen turned at the sound and smile.  
"Good Day," he said motioning for me to come inside, which I did.  
"How are you?" He asked as I got up on the makeshift stage and towards the iHome.  
I tuned around so he could see my response,  
'Good.' My back hit the table and I turned back around. I connected my iPod, going to my instrumentals and settled on a song. I liked this song, and I'm sure I wouldn't be so sleepy once I sang it.  
I turned towards Dr. C and waited for him to get settled onto the rolling chair.  
"Start when you're ready." He said. I went to the white board and wrote with the black ex-po marker, "My Last Breath'

I pressed play on the iHome and went to the microphone. The beginning notes played and automatically my eyes shut as I took a starting breath.

_**Hold on to me love  
you know i can't stay long  
all i wanted to say was, "I love you and I'm not afraid"  
can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms?**_

_**[Chorus:]**__**  
holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight**_

_**I'll miss the winter**_  
_**a world of fragile things**_  
_**look for me in the white forest**_  
_**hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)**_  
_**i know you hear me**_  
_**i can taste it in your tears**_

_**[Chorus]**_

_**Closing your eyes to disappear,**_  
_**You pray your dreams will leave you here;**_  
_**But still you wake and know the truth,**_  
_**No one is there...**_

_**Say goodnight,**_  
_**Don't be afraid,**_  
_**Calling me, Calling me as you fade to black.**_

_**(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath**_  
_**(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself**_  
_**(Calling me, calling me) Are all my thoughts of you?**_  
_**Sweet raptured life, it ends here tonight**_

_**(Chorus)**_

_**(Holding my last breath)**_

My eyes opened, my thoughts were cleared and slow.  
I barely managed to catch Dr. C saying  
"That was a nice job. I didn't hear any strain on your voice. I've also been doing some research, just so I can be more aware of what I should be hearing out for. Thank you for coming in today."  
And just like that I collected my things and left the room. The ride home was a blur and no one was home either. I went to my room, did all my homework and then climbed into bed. I fell asleep listening to my iPod.  
Whether I had a dream or not, I didn't care. It was the first full night sleep I had in a while. I wasn't going to question it.  
I woke up Saturday morning feeling calm and rested. Charlie was gone; working the early shift and Renée decided to go to Los Angeles and go spend some of the bonus cash she earned last month.  
I didn't mind being alone, I liked it better than having company. Angela couldn't come over on Saturday or Sunday. So I was alone all weekend. Towards Sunday I got so bored I ended up blasting my iPod to our stereo system in the living room and just awkwardly dancing around the house.

I groggily opened my eyes, yawning as I sat up. I sucked on my tongue, trying to get the horrid tastes of morning breath put of my mouth. I looked over to what had woken me up. I cursed my window. The sun light was beaming into the room, and my still muzzy mind stupidly thought.  
_Why is the sun out, so early.  
_…so early...so early…  
My eyes widened and in one motion reached with one head to smack my forehead while the other reached to the nightstand.  
10:12am  
'Fuck.' I mouthed dragging out the word as I started getting out of bed.  
I changed out of my PJs and into some basic grey skinnys, a red skelanimals shirt that had black scattered around, my converse, and red and black rubber bracelets, along with my rarely used red sunglasses.  
I brushed my teeth and then was out the door, putting my iPod into my pocket at 10:18.  
I snuck into school without Mrs. Cope noticing me. She had gotten into the habit of staring out the door to give tardy students their late slips.  
I merged seamlessly into the crowd of kids, going to my locker and leaving my unneeded materials inside to lighten my backpack. I shut the locker checking twice that it had relocked.  
I checked my cell phone for any messages from Angela, none.  
3rd period started at 10:24, but thanks to the teachers' lack of punctuality I was able to get away with being a few minutes late.  
I spent most of the period sending texts to Angela, she wasn't the type to text during class but when she was receiving a lot and her phone wouldn't stop buzzing she would reply.  
It was my 25th text that was replied.  
Me: Hey, I got to school late, meet me by my locker for lunch?  
Angela: I would but I can't….I'm at home…  
I stiffened at I felt warm breath breathing down my neck. I slowly turned around to the freak breather and saw Alice Cullen. Who was smiling like that weird cat from Alice in Wonderland. I always thought that cat was on crack. So…maybe…just maybe so was Alice.  
'Hi,' I mouthed cautiously as I leaned back, seriously freaked out by that creepy grin Alice still had on her face.  
And somehow that I didn't understand how her skin didn't rip from over stretching she stalker grinned even wider.  
"Angela isn't here today?"  
And that people is how I got stuck sitting with the Cullens during lunch.

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**So did you like it? i know it was really short but grrr i had nothing else to go on. i am extremely disappointed in myself! **  
*goes to corner as punishment*  
**So leave comments, reviews, questions**, **angry threats to kill my loved ones...oh wait! not the last one!**

**Hope you liked it! sorry again for it being so short! (T.T)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey...Yeah, Remember Me? ~.~ I'm Back! Though -.- I was Never Gone, I Just Didn't Feel Like Writing. But I Decided To Stop Being Lazy, And Get My Fingers Typing. I'm Sorry For Not Updating In Fooooorever!  
I Hope I still Have All My Reader!  
p.s. Sorry for any mistakes!  
HOPE YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER!.**

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"Happy late birthday present!" Angela yelled in my face as she shoved a little bag in my hand. I blinked not understanding. She clearly understood my face as her excited expression morphed into disapproval.  
"Iz, did you forget your birthday again?"  
without answering I pulled out my phone and checked the date.  
I looked back at Angela and mouthed, 'Opps?'  
"What would you do without me? Anyway! Open your gift. I had to order it, since it was they were sold out in stores. I just got them this morning."  
Curious I opened the little gift. Inside was a new pair of black and purple skull candy earphones.  
A big smile grew on my face as I pulled them out. These were the ones I have been meaning to buy but kept forgetting to buy.  
'Thank you.' I mouthed as opened them. I connected them to my iPod and hit shuffle. I had my iPod at an arms length and the beats to 'Not the American Average' by Asking Alexandria started busting through the little earphones. My grin became more apparent then.  
I pulled her in for a hug.  
"You like them?" she asked. And I nodded my head.  
In all honesty I forgot about my birthday. When I was younger my parents somehow got stuck with having to work on my birthday, so by the time they were home I was already asleep in bed. They'd apologize in morning and buy me a birthday cake, but then they'd have to leave again. I learned early on that it's better to not expect anything from them when it came to my birthday.  
"What'd you're parents do for your 17th birthday?" she asked, going to sit on the floor like she usually did when we got to my house after school.  
'Nothing.' I mouthed toying with my earphones with my thumb and index finger.  
"Oh." She said, letting some awkwardness seep through. She being the oldest and having twin younger brothers thought that celebrating your birthday was a big thing. But that was only because she grew up with it being a big thing.  
I wasn't upset about Charlie and Renée forgetting my birthday. It's not like they had a reason to celebrate. Oh yes they're baby girl is now a 17 year old who forgot how to talk. Boo hoo for them.  
I paused my fingers, realizing how utterly bitchy I just sounded to myself. Shutting my eyes tightly I flopped down onto my pillows. Letting my body just sink down into the old, yet still comfortable mattress, I let a short sigh escape from my mouth.  
"I'm sure they'll remember and feel super horrible and then buy you another car! And you know since you won't want to bother having two cars, you'll give me the other one! See it'll all works out!" Angela's voice said, I felt the bed sink from one side just slightly and I imagined her wearing her excited grin that pretty much looked like that texting face, with the colon and the capital d.  
I opened my eyes, rolling my head to where Angela was and gave her an amused look.  
She busted out laughing a second later, and I chuckled along side with her. A vibrating buzz commenced when we finished laughing, since mine was on silent I assumed it was Angela's. I was right, she dug through her pockets and fished out her flip phone, answering the call.  
"Hello?" she answered with her voice still in a happy tone from laughing.  
"Oh hey mom…" she said, her eyes staring into nothing as she paid attention to her mothers' words.  
Her eyes dimmed a bit as she shifted the phone from her right ear to her left.  
"Really? Okay I'll be there in a little bit. Love you too. Bye." She closed her phone with a small snapping noise.  
Angela gave me an apologetic look as she started putting her shoes back on.  
"I have to go; my mom needs help with dinner. She burnt the soup."  
we had both been getting up, but both paused as we heard the irony of it all.  
"How do you burn soup?" she questioned.  
I shrugged, swinging my keys around my finger.

"Bye Izzy, see you tomorrow. Thanks for the ride." Angela said stepping out of the car. I smiled and waved as she opened the front door and entered her house. I saw that one of the twins had rushed to the door and had tackled her into a hug. I could make out her laugh as she closed the door, the smile never leaving her face.  
I put the car in reverse and went home. The cars were still gone, the house lights all off.  
I didn't want to go inside. I stared at the house for a while, and then decided to get my iPod out.  
'_Her bones are buried in the backyard along with my integrity'  
_I jumped in my seat, my heart soaring from the screaming. I scrambled to get my iPod out of my pocket but it fell into the crack between the seat and the console. My hands were still a bit shaky when I finally got it out. I pressed pause and noticed the time. It was 11:32 pm, when I had taken Angela home it was barely 8. I pulled my hair up into a pony tail and leaned back against the still warm seat. Taking deep breaths from the fright I managed to lower my heart rate.  
Getting out of the car I walked in the cool temperature of the night, there was a slight drizzle. I had made it to the porch when I heard a sound. I froze, suddenly feeling more alert; the sound came from a branch being stepped on. My heated up uncomfortably, and I slowly turned around. The driveway was still empty besides my car anyway, no surprise there. I strained to look into the forest. I took a step away from the porch moving my side bangs, wet from the drizzle, out of my face. I could swear I saw something when suddenly there's another crack of a branch, taking my attention away from the trees.  
A shocked yet strangled cry escaped me when a raccoon suddenly ran right across my feet. I jumped away with a start but ended up slipping on an ice patch. I landed on my butt with a thud, wincing slightly as I left the hard gravel carve up my palms.  
'Fuck' I angrily mouthed as I got back up feeling the icy water seep through my pants.  
_Stupid raccoon. _ I thought as I yanked the front door open, completely forgetting about the trees. My hands throbbed and I went to the kitchen, turning on the faucet to clean my palms.  
I jumpy for some reason, guess two shocks within 5 minutes was a bad thing for the mind. I brushed my bangs away once more, with a side thought of '_I need to cut them, they're getting to long' _ as I turned off the water. After finding some old dinosaur Band-Aids, I slowly walked up the stairs using my teeth to open the little packets. With a precision that would make Dr. Cullen proud I covered my cuts and just let the trash litter the floor, knowing that tomorrow I would pick those up eventually.  
My room was dark, but it comforted me, slowly melting any leftover edge from outside. I undressed in the dark, finding a pair of pajama shorts and a baggy shirt. Feeling to tired to get under the covers I just let myself fall on top of the bed. I fell back asleep, the slight throbbing from my hands leaving as I became more unconscious within seconds.  
_The rain poured. The rain pounded aggressively.  
I slowly got off the dirty grimy floor; the world was dark and silent.  
'Help' I heard from a distance.  
'Help me' they called out again. I didn't know which direction the voice was coming from but it sounded desperate, frightened, and weak.  
The silence was interrupted once more by my pounding feet against the pavement. My breathing harsh and labored.  
'Help' the voice called out again, pushing me forward even faster. My legs burned and felt like lead, getting heavier and heavier with every step I took.  
Tears clouded my sight, the cold weather making my huffs of breath visible.  
I blinked away the tears, pumping my legs. The voice, I needed to get to the voice. It was scared and lonely. I had to help.  
But after what felt like hours of running I never felt the satisfaction of getting closer to my goal. I stopped. My chest heaving for air, my legs threatening to give at any moment, I waited and waited for the voice to call again. But it didn't.  
Dread filled my being, my legs finally giving out. I crashed to floor, the side of my face being pelted with icy cold water. I blocked the sounds out, blocked out the world as failure coursed through me. With self chagrin I felt tears slip through my closed eyes, leaving a warm trail as the tears trailed down my face mixing with the rain water.  
The rain worsened as thunder began, lighting up the cold, dark world. I managed to see that I was on a bridge. The icy floor in reality just wet planks of wood; if I tired I could hear the rushing of a river below.  
I laid there unmoving, staring blankly into the nothingness around me.  
I heard steps, but didn't react. A second later it stopped. There was no sound.  
It was the soft vibrations that I felt from the wood that I knew someone was still approaching. A pair of pale alabaster bare legs came into view. We stayed like that for a span of 5 heart beats. The person crouched down, and extended their hand.  
_I woke up with a calm start. The dream relayed in my mind, I didn't understand it. But I wasn't a believer in dreams having any meaning…for the most part anyway. I got up, and dressed packing my book bag before going to wash my mouth from the horrid morning breath. It wasn't until that I was outside that I bothered to check the time. 3:24am. More then enough time to go and be back before school started.  
I slipped inside my car, turning on the engine, half of me knowing that the sound could possibly wake Charlie and Renée. My head turned towards their room window. It stayed pitch black, not a ruffle of the lace curtain.  
I connected my iPod, going to my New Age genre before putting the car in reverse and then accelerating without hesitation.

My phones alarm started ringing at 7. I hit dismiss with my pinky and finished fiddling with the violin. I went to the master computer I had set up here, going to the song I had just finished.  
I listened to the instrumental once over before titling 'I'm With You.' I saved the sound and imported both versions into my iPod.  
Sometimes, I hear notes in my head which later turn into songs. But other times when I know I need to express something that I, myself don't quite understand…the songs and notes just come naturally.  
I would have just ditched school and stayed in my safe haven, I was already missing too many days this month. That and there was a writing assignment that was due today for history. We could turn it in late on that day but it couldn't be brought in the day after it was due. Unless we were sick but then that just docked points since Mr. Anderson was positive that most of us don't get sick on the day of big assignment was due just like that. He was a cynical old man, yes he is. But he entertains me with his rude sarcastic comments.  
I drove to school with no real desire to go to school today. Its not that I didn't like school, it was okay, but…I just didn't find it necessary.  
2nd period had just started when I found a parking space. I snuck past the office, no need to get a detention today. I went to my locker and put the unnecessary things away. I got to class as Mrs. Skove was passing out some worksheet.  
She smiled her grandmotherly smile, but didn't question as to why I was late. I looked away from her, as my own grandmother passed through my mind and sat in my seat. I tired to pay attention, but I couldn't help but lose focus as my eye sight blurred and my mind wandered.  
I found it hard to believe that it's been a little over 3 weeks since her heart attack. Charlie told me a few days ago that she was doing better and would be leaving the hospital later this week.  
Sooner then I would have thought, the bell rang but it wasn't until papers scattered on my desk that I realized everyone was leaving. I looked up to see Rosalie glaring at her folder. I collected all her papers, making them into a nice and neat pile and handed them to her. She held my eyes with her cool sapphire-like eyes.  
"Thanks." She muttered taking the papers from my hand and walking out.  
_you're welcome_ I thought as I gathered my own things and headed for 3rd.  
As it's been for the past many days Alice was outside the library, waiting for me.  
'Hi Izzy' she signed with her fingers, as she jumped up and down.  
Like second nature I signed back 'Hey' and continued walking only to stop and turn around.  
I gave her a peculiar look as my mind relayed what had just happened.  
Alice used sign language.  
I blinked twice and raised an eye brow.  
Alice chimed out a laugh and asked,

"I did it correctly, right?"  
I nodded my head as Alice took my hand and lead us to a table. I took the seat in front of her, from across the table.  
She motioned me forward as the teacher became to call roll, I leaned forward doing as she said.  
Her forehead crinkled slightly with concentration as she signed out more words.  
'I've been practicing.' She finished after some moments.  
"Cool" I mouthed.  
I heard my name being called and as I was going to raise my hand Alice yelled out "She's here!"  
causing me to flinch from the sudden loudness.  
I turned around to see Mrs. Packer give Alice a scolding look.  
"Oops" Alice giggled covering her mouth as she remembered where we were.  
"Sorry." She said lowly.  
I silently chuckled, shaking my head and got out my new book that I had started reading yesterday.

Alice, Emmett, Alice, Emmett, Alice, Emmett.  
My eyes went back and forth between them during their silent argument. Well not entirely silent seeing as I was wearing my iPods ear buds. The music on high, though in reality it was about half of its full capacity.  
I would have kept going, my eyes following them without getting tired when a lunch tray smacked onto the table right next to me.  
I looked away from Alice who was sticking her tongue out at Emmett, who looked positively insulted, to see Edward pulling the chair out and taking the seat.  
He noticed my gaze and half smiled before reaching over and pulling on one of the ear bug cables, effectively yanking it out of my ear. A routine of sorts since the 2nd time I found myself sitting with the Cullen's. Unlike Angela, he minded the fact that I used my iPod during lunch.  
I gave him a dirty look, not putting the ear bud in my ear but instead just hooked it over my ear.  
"Where's your lunch?" He asked softly, though it was probably not that soft to begin with considering that Alice and Emmett where still going at it, apparently their argument was over some candy war.  
I reached below the table and after moving some things around I got my granola bar, and placed it on the table.  
"That's it?" he said raising an eyebrow doubtfully.  
I shook my head diving back into the mess of my backpack and took out my complementary water bottle.  
He looked stumped, amusement in his green eyes and shook his own head and pushing his tray towards me.  
"Get something." He ordered pointing to the tray  
I shook my head no. he nodded his head yes. And we continued that for a few minutes. I smiled triumphantly as he stopped first, obviously annoyed.  
"Just get something." He said once more pushing the tray closer to me.  
I sighed, rolling my eyes and picked up the slice of pizza and tore it in half.  
Before he could complain, I shoved it in my mouth and started chewing.  
'There, happy.' I mouthed after I swallowed.  
"Not really, anyway, I need to talk to you about something." He said scooting closer.  
"Our project is due in about 2 months. We haven't started anything. Do you think we could get together sometime this week and start getting some notes and research."  
I nodded after a moment, mentally going through my schedule for the day. It was empty.  
"Alright, so the school library or the public library?" he said taking the other side of the pizza.  
I rolled my eyes and shook my head; 'here' I mouthed shuddering from the abomination that is Forks public library.  
"Emmett! For the last time, cupcakes lose against sour patch kids all the time!" Alice whined as Emmett continued the fighting.  
Without hesitating I got my phone and opened a blank text,  
**Not unless the cupcakes have gum ball canons and they use it to shoot the head off the sour patch kids, **I slid the phone across the table and it hit Emmett's arm.  
He read it and it was slightly amusing seeing the In-Your-Face look grow.  
By the end of lunch Emmett was using me as his secret weapon to win the argument, Alice wasn't too happy about that. Considering she hated losing.

It was those rare occasions when my presence was demanded (politely of course) during dinner. Renée had brought home some possible clients, which meant that I had to make a quick, yet 5 star restaurant worthy meal, and pretend to be the perfect but silent daughter with a sore throat.  
The second condition had only begun until recently; it started when an extremely nosey pair came to the house. They asked questions upon questions about my silence, it flustered Renée causing her to blurt out the first thing that came to mind. And it stuck.  
"Izzy, darling, I'm home. Oh, it smells fabulous in here." Renée called out from the front door.  
I put the bread in the oven, and drained the pasta before mixing it in with the Alfredo sauce.  
"You'll have to excuse my daughters silence; she has a bit of a sore throat. Please take a seat in the living, would you like some coffee? "  
Once the guests (I didn't even bother turning around anymore) had declined the drink, Renée came into the kitchen, her smile still on her face and she smelled around.  
"Is everything ready?" She asked her voice hushed. I nodded, feeling the familiar edge of annoyance creep through my thoughts and emotions.  
10 minutes later, Charlie came through the door, sheading his gun and work boots, he greeted the guest with polite hello, be fore he excused himself for a quick shower.  
The bread was cooling down, the salad was on portioned plates, and the table was set with the fancy dinner sets Renée had bought for such nights.  
I stood on the threshold between the living room and kitchen for a few seconds hoping that Renée would notice me. I know she could see me or at least sense my presence, seeing as I was glaring holes into her head.  
It wasn't until I accidentally overheard Charlie and Renée talking one night that I found out why she agreed to be the spokesperson of her law firm (or at least one of them). Renée believed, hoped more like it, that if she continued with the charade of us being a happy perfect family I would reach my limit of her ridiculous ways. I waited about half a minute, before I gritted my teeth and cleared my throat.  
Faster then an oblivious person should have reacted, Renée looked up with fake shock.  
I internally rolled my eyes, but nevertheless tilted my head towards the dinner table.

"Thank you for coming, are you sure you can find your way back to the hotel?" Renée said leading to the front door.  
"Yes, thank you Renée, we had a wonderful time." I walked back to the kitchen, clearing the table and collecting the dishes to start washing them.  
They continued talking as I washed and scrubbed the plates. Anger bubbling up in me and I unknowingly started scrubbing the plate with the wool scrubber harder then necessary, the small thin metal strips digging into my skin, leaving tiny cuts.  
Finally they left and Renée shut the door with an audible sigh and heading up the stairs.  
"Thank you Izzy." She called from upstairs.  
I froze my jaw setting as I thought about how ungrateful Renée's actions were just now. I took a calming breath, as I took in the fact that she left me to clean the entire mess of the kitchen.  
I didn't get to my room until 10:30; I didn't fall asleep until 1am.

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**Soooo, thats the chapter...did you guys like it?  
Oh! :D i know i have no right considering i suck at updating but! Who wants to be the best fan ever!  
You see i have playlists on my ipod with all the songs, that i need to use, songs that i've already added, and then i have playlists for Edward and Izzy's music. **  
**What i'm asking is will anyone, go through the chapters and make a list of all the songs i've used so far? i hate repeating songs! **  
**it would help a lot. A lot A lot! (I totally just thought about some british person saying that...i think a brish person did say that! was it from harry potter? no... i don't think so anyway)**  
**I would do i myself, but i don't have the patience and i have this thing where once i post my chapter i dread having to go back to skim them because then i find errors and i annoy myself and i end up giving up because i frustrate myself!**

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**_On a totally random note! Why don't you guys follow me on Twitter, and Facebook, or Tumblr! then you'd be able to stalk me! or you know yell at me to get off of said websites and get writing. . lol.  
I'll post the url things on my page in a bit._**

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**Alright then imma post this now cause now i'm just babbling! but please! the songs! that would help a lot! (was gonna say shit load but i'm working on cussing :p)**  
**Review! please?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello there! yeah, remember me?** **it's Stacy the author to this fanfic. before i say (type) anything else i wanted to let you guys know that i am extremely disappointed with myself. i had tried and wanted to update this chapter on the 18th but i obviously didn't get the chance too. i could name several excuses but that's just be stupid. anyway! before you start reading just wanted to let you guys know there are EdwardXIzzy scenes. and then another authors note at the end so please read it! X) **  
**Now enough of my typing,**  
**Read on! (p.s sorry if it seems slightly scattered. that's what writing this for several day days mostly during the time frames of 11:50pm to 2:00 am does to me.)**

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Breathe in; breathe out, over and over again. I continued my mantra of sorts in my head as I let my eyes close. I loved to be in the library, the near complete silence. I rested my head on my hand as my biology partner was hunched over the schools keyboards, typing out the information on our topic furiously. I finished my half of the research a while ago, checking out a bio text book then going to the copy machine to copy the necessary pages. After that I just went over the important facts and definitions with a highlighter.  
I felt the chair from across the table be pulled out, but knowing that it Edward didn't bother opening up my eyes.  
Or rather didn't bother opening up my eyes until he cleared his throat. The table moved the slightest bit, as I assumed he leaned forward. Tiredly I opened my eyes, blinking a few times to regain focus.  
"Hi." Edward mumbled, looking around the empty table.  
I nodded my head in acknowledgement, not feeling up to mouthing or signing at the moment.  
"So," he started awkwardly coughing once into his hand.  
"So uh…can I borrow your notes?"" he said.  
I inwardly smiled as he finally admitted defeat. It was clear, that finding research was not his forte.  
I nodded my head, reaching towards my backpack. It was cluttered, so when I pulled out the papers, I accidentally pulled out my song folder.  
The folder, old and tattered, ripped in half sending the papers flying around the table.  
I quickly sat up straighter, collecting all my songs.  
"You write your own songs." Edward said with certainty. Clearing stating, not asking.  
I, not so politely, reach across the length of the table and yanked the paper out of his hand.  
In fear of creasing the songs I gently tapped the stacked papers on the surface of the table, getting them all nice and organized once more.  
I looked up to see Edward patiently waiting for a confirmation.  
Mentally sighing, I nodded my head, taking the opportunity to duck away from his stare as I put the songs back into my bag.  
With one hand I zipped my backpack closed, and with the other tossed my research over to him.  
"Thank you." He said standing up and then heading over to his computer once more.  
I looked over to Edward, and saw him scratch his head before pressing the same button over and over again.  
Being the ever nice person I was I slowly sauntered my way to him, pulling up a chair next to him and seeing that he was deleting a paragraph worth of insightful information. I tapped his shoulder and he turned to me, I shooed him away. He moved no questions asked and let me do my thing. I grabbed the mouse and went to the task bar, finding the undo button and the information reappeared once more. I spent the next 5 minutes going through our papers to delete any repeated info. I hardly found any. I tilted my head to the side and with a victorious smile I hit print.  
"That's it?" Edward said, speaking for the 1st time since we were back at the table. I nodded my head and opened a new document.  
**Yep, the information you had was good. You didn't need to delete it. ** I typed.  
"Really? Most of it you already highlighted." He said walking to the printer.  
**Mr. Banner likes it when we restate the information in different ways. Extra goodie points.  
"**Cool…You look tired." He mused as he took back control of the computer for a second. I shrugged shaking my head. I was always tired to an extent. Whether it was my nightmares or Renée I never got a full night of sleep.  
'Not really' I mouthed automatically.  
I stared at the screen seeing him go to and preorder a CD before exiting out of windows.  
"So," he started leaning back in his chair, "How's my family?"  
Instantly I started to silently chuckle, shaking my head and then taking the mouse and key board.  
**You know them better then I do, I'm sure you already know that answer.  
**He laughed, "Okay, Okay I'll give you that. But what do you think of them."  
**Well… **I started.

"Izzy, Edward." We both looked up from the desk as the after school librarian, Mrs. Hardin¸ called.  
"It's time to close up." She said, putting her coat on, and I frowned getting my phone out.  
5:58pm  
we quickly got our things and started for the parking lot.  
"That was a fun game of tic-tac-toe." Edward said as we continued walking together, our cars parked the same general direction, I assumed.  
18 out of 22 were my wins. After we talked (well he talked, I typed) about his family we settled on playing the game.  
He didn't have to head home yet, and I didn't want to go home.  
We walked the short distance to my car, and I finally took the time to look up from the ground to see Edwards's car was no where in sight. I slowed my walk until I reached a stop, raising an eyebrow at him and I gestured around the lot. Clearing asking where his car was.  
With an impish look on his face, "It's on the other side of the parking lot."  
I stared, trying to convey my thoughts, _then why hell are you over here. _  
With a slightly nervous chuckle he said, "I needed to ask you something," he paused and when he saw I wasn't going to object he continued, "Can I have your number."  
I felt my eyes widened and I started to shake my had no, but he cut me off.  
"No wait hear me out, it's not because some creepy reason. I swear. But since the due date to the project is getting close I thought it'd be easier to have a way to reach you, if and when I need help with something. We agreed, you write the paper and I'll do the display."  
I raised and dropped my hands in an Sure-What-The-Hell, way.  
"Where's your cell phone." I mouthed continuing to walk to my car. I heard and saw from the side of my eye that he patted his pants pockets and then checked his sweaters pockets.  
"It's in..." he hung his head and muttered, "It's in my locker."  
I placed my backpack on the trunk of my (lovely and certainly far better then Edwards) car. Shaking with silent chuckles I rolled my eyes and began scavenging my backpack for the sticky notes I shoved in there a few weeks ago; Edward walked and leaned against the side of the car, just a few feet away from me.  
Just as I was growing impatient I zipped the bag closed and checked the front pocket, my face blanked with annoyance. I sighed and got the sticky notes out along with a random blue marker. I bit the cap off the marker, moving some hair out of my face and then wrote my number on the little paper.  
I saw a hand reach towards me, making me flinch back a little though it didn't deter Edwards's hand, looking up, his face was noticeably closer then before  
His hand made contact with my cheek slowly, and I stopped breathing.  
His eyes looked into mine before his thumb started to gently rub against my upper left cheek. After a few moments he pulled away, leaning away as he did so, and I caught a look at his thumb. It had a blue tint to it. My eyes widened and I awkwardly looked away, suddenly feeling hot despite the weather. Which I didn't completely understand.  
I cleared my throat and gave him the paper, nodding my head and waving bye, all the while staring at the ground.  
"Bye, _Izzy_." He emphasized my name, a habit he gotten into just to annoy me. I grumbled mentally as I opened my car. I looked into the rearview mirror and saw the faint traces of a light red along my cheeks. _  
__"He made you blush… I haven't seen you blush like that since like…the 6th grade."_ Angela's voice sounded in my head.  
I narrowed my eyes and thought, _shut up, Angela.  
_I took the car out of park and made my way out of the school parking lot, but couldn't help looking back to see Edward heading in the opposite direction to his car.  
_Idiot. _I thought as the light drizzle started to come down harder. I managed to catch him putting the sticky note in his pocket; _I hope he doesn't send those stupid chain messages. I'll slap a bitch. _

"Izzy?" Charlie called out as I walked inside. I glanced back to the driveway and saw Renée's car was still here. They were expecting me. Joy.  
I threw my keys to the kitchen table as I made my way to the fridge for some juice.  
"Izzy, honey, is that you?" Charlie called out once more.  
_No it's Jesus._  
"We got some great news today." He said after finding me leaning against the counter.  
I blinked twice. Waiting.  
"Grandma Swan was discharged from the hospital this afternoon, isn't that great!" He said a grin on his face making little lines around his eyes.  
A relief flooded through me and a knot in my chest that I didn't realize I had loosened.  
I nodded my head, smiling as well.  
Charlie looked at me for a second, looking like he wanted to say something else but decided against it. With a shake to his head as a reply to my confused look, he walked to the fridge got a can of beer and went to the living room. As I walked up to my room I heard the news start blaring from the TV's speakers.  
I turned on my computer, waiting for it to load as I sipped on my apple juice. The tangy taste causing that oddly ticklish sensation at the back of my jaw. I rolled my head, letting out a yawn. Though from the years passed I knew that it'd be pointless to try and go to sleep right now.  
I went to my yahoo quickly composing a message to Granny. She's a 'hip' grandmother, she has her own iPod, cell phone, laptop, and she regularly checks her Gmail.  
**Dear Granny,  
I'm more then glad to hear that you're out of the hospital. You had me worried for a second, but I know you're a fighter and you wouldn't let something like a heart attack stop you. I love you Granny, and don't tell anyone but you're probably my best friend in this whole world besides Angela. I'm going to sound like a mush ball right now, so don't call me crying your eyes out. I love you Granny. So, So much. I don't know what I'd do without you in this world. It's all but blasphemy to think about you not in Phoenix roller blading with the little kids around your block with that lively happy-go-lucky smile of yours.  
It's about 7:10 as I'm typing, and pretty bummed that I have to make this message so short. But Renée still hasn't learned to cook to save her life.  
Take it easy the next couple of days, okay? Don't strain yourself.  
Take care. Lots and lots and lots of love,  
Your Amazing Granddaughter Isabella.  
**I read it over once, noting that granny would appreciate my lovey dovey-ness and probably respond with some sass filled remarks.  
I'm not going to lie. I love grandmother, which was why I put 'Isabella' and not 'Izzy'. I distinctly one conversation we had a few summers ago.  
_**Granny. My name is Izzy. Not Isabella. **__ I scribbled on the paper as granny came forward placing a fresh-baked cookie in front of me.  
"Hush girl!" She scoffed turning away only to turn back around a half a second later with a cheeky smile on her face.  
"Oh wait, you are my little hush girl, Isabella! Aren't you?"  
I sighed to myself my mouth full of the chewy double chocolate chip cookie and with my right hands index finger tapped my previously written sentence again.  
With her hands indignantly on her hips she started her little spiel.  
"Listen here. If I went to the hospital where your mother popped you out and asked for your birth certificate it would say 'Isabella Marie Swan' Not 'Izzy Marie Swan'. Your mother would have had to been on some serious…"She slightly paused to censor her words for my sake. _Though thinking back to this memory with my vocabulary today the word Granny had censored could have possibly been 'Crack'  
_"your mother would have had to been on some serious…medication to call you Izzy. So have I made my self clear Isabella?"  
We had a stare off for a minute, before casually changing subjects. But I never questioned and or stated my preferred name to be called ever again.  
_I shook my head smiling, and quickly hit sent before the more reserved side of me popped out and made changes to my e-mail.  
I went downstairs, and prepared to make some steaks with some steamed vegetable and a quick salad.  
Charlie came into the kitchen as I finished cutting the steaks into slices.  
"Smells good." He said walking over to me and attempting to kiss my cheek in a fatherly gesture, though I moved away from his kiss casually.  
I fumed on the inside, but I knew I would get over it because that's just what Charlie and Renée do. They let things cool down over the next few days and then act like it never happened.  
I heard Charlie sigh, but he didn't go into it.  
After 10 minutes Renée came home and we all sat down for dinner.  
I washed the dishes and cleaned the counter tops making them nice and shiny.  
My phone buzzed in my back pocket and as I made my way up stairs I pulled it out and saw I got a text from Angela.  
**Hey Iz! :D Remember last week! You said we could hang out on Tuesday, are we still on?  
**I smiled and replied, **Yeah, absolutely.  
**We continued texting until she said she was going to pass out. I bid her a good night and then put my phone on silent. I wasn't sleepy anymore, so passed some more time at my computer. I managed to write the rough draft of the report in about 2 hours.  
I changed for bed, feeling wide awake as ever but thought that if I got in bed and just closed my eyes sleep would come eventually.  
I was right, after tossing and turning for a good hour I finally went to bed.

_Knock, knock, knock.  
_"Izzy, honey are you awake yet?" Renée called out softly from outside my door.  
I turned away but already my mind started working once more. If Renée was checking on me it must be getting late. I sighed to myself and sat up, looking around me to find my brush. I tossed it in my hand, as if testing its weight then with a flick of my wrist threw it at the door. Letting Renée know with the noise that I was indeed awake.  
I stood up, ruffling my hair as I made my way to my nightstand to get my phone. There was a little pop up notice blinking, 'Charge Complete' continuously. When I disconnected my phone the notice went away and I saw that my alarm was silently ringing. I dismissed it and saw that it wasn't that late as I assumed as it would be.  
It was barely 7:15.  
I picked out an outfit to wear today and went to take a quick shower. The hot water loosening the knots in my back, I lathered hair, letting the scent of strawberries envelop my hair for a while as I scrubbed my body with the loofa. I rinsed off then finished a few minutes later.  
After changing I headed downstairs to see Renée hustling to finish her bowl of cereal. I stared at her in question as I saw a relatively small suitcase by her feet.  
Chugging down the last of her milk she said, "I'm going to the law firm down in California for the rest of the week. I'll be back Sunday morning."  
'Oh' I mouthed, shifting my backpack higher up my shoulder and walked to get a granola bar, ignoring the look of disapproval from Renée.  
"That isn't a very suitable breakfast, Izzy. I could whip you up some toast and eggs before I leave right now…if you want?" She said towards the end of her suggestion she had a nervous twang to her voice.  
I shook my head and signed "No thank you." Before starting to eat my bar.  
I didn't fail to catch the sad look past through her eyes and I inwardly sighed, feeling the, regretfully, familiar guilt growing.  
Its not like I had a problem with Renée cooking me the only thing she can cook without fail, I just didn't want her to go to the trouble, she was running late as it was. I'm assuming the only reason she was still home was because her cab wasn't here yet. Her actual car was in the shop getting some work done on it or something.  
She stood awkwardly in the middle of our small kitchen as I finished my pitiful yet filling breakfast for a few more minutes until her car beeped outside.  
"Be good." She said, coming to me and kissing my forehead.  
I tried and succeeded in not flinching, I wasn't used to that gesture even though she's been doing ever since I stopped talking.  
I waited until I heard the car drive away before I, out of habit, wiped her kiss (along with some of her lipstick) off.  
I went upstairs and got my iPod then headed out the door as well, school started in a little over 10 minutes.

"Hey Izzy. Hi Jasper." Angela said as we sat down in history. Jasper was already in his seat but looked up with slight shock on his face.  
"Good morning Angela. Good morning to you as well Izzy." He said with his voice low.  
Angela smiled as she started, like Jasper, taking out last night's homework, and I offered him a friendly wave.  
I could now consider the Cullen's…most of the Cullen's my friends (Sort of) now. They had offered us permanent seats at their table. Though Angela and I thought it'd be best not to burst their polite bubble by saying "Yeah, well you stole our table to begin with so…"  
Angela graciously accepted the offer, I shrugged and continued eating. Emmett had laughed at my reaction.  
"Izzy…Izzy…Do you need me to buy you some Q-tips to get that ear wax out of those ears of yours?" Mr. Anderson called to me bringing me out of my thoughts.  
I shook my head to his question. He was being serious. He's done it before to another student.  
"Well it seems they cleared up." He deadpanned  
I replied with doing sad careless attempts at jazz hands and mouthed 'Yay'  
"Did you do the homework or not?"  
I shook my head no. He shrugged and moved on to annoy the crap on some other kid. He didn't care all that much if you didn't do the homework as long as you passed the tests with A's or B's. You know for the grade average or whatever? I had a low A, at times high B in the class. So it was all good.  
Class pretty much flew by after that and pretty soon the day was over. I had told Edward that I had written the rough draft and he informed me that he got all the supplies needed to make the board. I had asked if he needed help assembling it but he said no, I had already done most of my part of the assignment, it wouldn't be fair if he asked for help on the board.  
I met up with Angela after school; we drove to her house and then drove back to mine in my car.  
It was nice spending time with her again, seeing as we haven't had the chance to since the day she gave me my earphones. Her mom had recently started working part time, to try and make ends meet. Money was a little tight for them these few days. Angela said they were all hoping for her dad to get that raise that was coming up. But she had a sad look to her face when she said it. I asked her about it and she smiled saying that she was just sad that if her dad got the raise she wouldn't be able to see him all that often anymore. They had a strong bond. That's all I could say when it came to Angela and her father.  
We changed topics for hours and hours just hanging out and fooling around. When it was 10 she had to get going.  
We were all giggles as we drove over the speed limit for the simple rush as the trees pasted us.  
"Bye Izzy. I had so much fun today." Angela said leaning over the console to hug me.  
'I did too.' I mouthed the smile still on my face.  
"Goodnight! I'll see you tomorrow." She said and walked up her porch. I bit my lip as I drove back home, having this weird feeling just come over me. It wasn't like I was getting sick, but more like… my body was anticipating something? I didn't know how to explain it but it seemed like all my smiles and giggles of the day were all gone now. When I got home I cleaned a bit trying to shake the feeling off. It didn't happen. It only amplified.  
I sighed frustrated; I didn't like it when I couldn't understand m own feelings. It made me feel somewhat lost. I hated it.  
I headed upstairs changing into my pj's and got into bed. I tossed and turned before I finally fell asleep.  
_"C'mon! It's not that high! Have some fun! Live a little!" I heard from below, but I was to paralyzed from my own fear to look down. It wasn't all that high; I was on the roof of a house. Today was James 15__th__ birthday. He said the only thing he wanted to do was jumped off his roof, but only if I did it with him. I didn't realize I was scared of heights until it was my turn.  
I whimpered, stepping away but not moving to get off the roof the safe way down.  
I called out, "Are you sure we won't get in trouble with your parents?"  
I heard him snort and could almost hear him rolling his eyes.  
"Isa, Isa, Isa." He tsked, "Haven't you learned by now that my parents don't care what I do as long as I don't break a bone? They need all the money they can save to buy their booze. Now, Jump. Don't be such a baby."  
"I'm not a baby!" I said stomping my foot angrily. The nerve, just because he finally turned 15 and I'm still 11. What a jerk…but he was still my best friend.  
"Then what are you waiting for? Jump." He said in exasperation. I started to wring my hands as a suggestion bubbled up to my lips.  
"Jump with me?" I asked with slight uncertainty. He didn't like it when I didn't act my age. His words not mine.  
"Isa." He warned. "Start being more independent. You don't need me to hold your hand just to jump off a roof."  
"…Can you at least count to three for me?" I said feeling guilty. Here I was holding up the fun on his birthday just because I was scared. Some best friend I am.  
I heard him sigh and for a second I thought he was angry. I didn't like it when he got angry. To many curse words and stuff thrown.  
"One…two…you better jump…three!" he said loudly. I had taken a deep breath and swallowed my fear then started running. By the time he got to three the roof disappear from underneath my feet and I was air born for just a few seconds. I didn't even have a chance to get my scream of thrill out before my legs reached the mattress we had dragged out here to use as our landing pad.  
I immediately started laughing, the adrenaline still coursing through my veins.  
I noticed James laughing as well. I sobered up enough to ask him why he was laughing.  
"You should have seen your face! You looked so scared." He guffawed slightly out of breath. I rolled my eyes and let him laugh his heart out. I smiled to myself, glad that I didn't completely ruin the day.  
When he was finished with his round of laughter he wrapped a thick arm around my shoulders and squished me to him.  
"See, you did it all by yourself. Don't be such a baby all the time. Trust me." He said as we made our way back into the house for yet another fun roof jumping adventure.  
And trust him I did. His words ringing through my head the rest of the day.  
_I gasped and my eyes opened. The room was dark and I could hear the pitter patter of the rain against my window.  
I chuckled to myself humorlessly. Trust. That concept, something I had long forgotten to completely have.  
Trust meant letting people in. letting people in only led to hurt and lies. I trusted someone with all my heart and i-  
I shook my head and jumped out of bed starting to pace in my room as I thought of other things, anything to get away from the previous topic. Thinking back only caused more nightmares. Lately they haven't been as bad. I was actually getting some sleep. I wasn't going to let my stupid thinking ruin that for myself.  
I quietly went downstairs and made my way into the living room, hoping that the TV wouldn't be blasting.  
I turned it on holding my breath and saw that the volume was on mute. I pulled it up to 12 to where I could barely hear it unless I was absolutely still. I sat down in Charlie's old leather recliner, the years of it being sat on and moved around making the leather soft and smooth.  
It wasn't until I looked at the TV guide channel that I was it was barely 3:23.  
I rubbed my eyes, as the bright light made them water, after my eyes adjusted I waiting for familiar channels to past.  
I wasn't familiar to many, just a few 2 or 4 channels at the most. The most time I ever spent watching TV was well…I'm not really sure. TV watching wasn't something high on the list of things to do when I was bored.  
I ended up watching some shows on cartoon network, at this time mostly Anime was showing. I watched an episode from Naruto, Bleach, and something called Fullmetal Alchemist. They were funny and interesting. Some of the characters where even sort of cute. Yes I know they were only cartoon drawings but still. They were cute. A boy is a boy no matter what.  
At five Charlie came down for work. His boots sounding from the very first step on the stairs. I slightly panicked and turned off the TV, though not before I changed the channel to the one he left it to last night. The room darkened up a bit without the TV's light and I scurried to the kitchen. Our kitchen had two doors to it. One through the living room then another that led to the hallway just besides the stairs. I waited to hear which door Charlie would go through before I started moving. He turned on the living room lights and then he made his way to the kitchen through that door. (Well now that I think about it, space would be a better word since there were in fact no doors there. Whatever technicalities)  
With that in mind I went to the opposite 'door' and then as Charlie disappeared into the kitchen I ghosted my way up the stairs and back up into my room.  
Whether it was from lack of sleep or the fact that I felt like I was a stealth ninja I don't know but as soon as I closed my rooms door I started doing my weird little victory dance. I'll spare you the horrid details. I went to my phone and saw that the time was now 5:45. I officially started my day and began going through my closet. There was still a slight rain however going on outside and even if the rain did stop the temperature wouldn't raise.

"Izzy!" I heard my name being called as I got out of my car about 20 minutes before the bell had to ring.  
I turned to see Alice and the rest of the Cullens walking towards my car. I waved not wanting to be rude so early in the morning.  
'Good morning Alice. How are you?' I signed both to communicate and to help Alice practice, just like she asked of me a few weeks ago.  
A brilliant smile came to her face as she figured out the letters in her head, "I'm good! It's Wednesday! So that means it's the middle of the week. Only two more days until the weekend!"  
I laughed silently, shaking my head. I was beginning to think that Alice always slipped something in her breakfast. There was no way such a tiny person could be filled such perkiness so early in the morning.  
"Good Morning Izzy." Jasper said smiling before his eyes focused on something else and he continued, "Hey do you have the notes from yesterday? I didn't get the chance to copy them down."  
I smirked but nodded my head yes nonetheless. I knew the reason as to why he didn't get a chance to copy them down. He fell asleep within 10 minutes of the note taking, I didn't notice until his pencil slipped out of his hand and rolled off the desk. I went to pick it up for him since it landed under my feet and I could see just the tiniest bit of drool make its way out his mouth as I put it back on his desk. I used the stub of his easer to poke his nose and he jolted awake.  
He looked confused for a second before he remembered he was in class and muttered the words, "Oh shit" then he noticed me looking at him. He had smiled at me awkwardly and I just jokingly shook my head disappointedly.  
Anyway I reached into my newly cleaned out backpack, feeling down proud of myself too, and got my history notebook out. I flipped to the last page and handed him the notebook.  
"Thanks Izzy," he said with a hint of a southern drawl to his words. I stared at him oddly as I realized that it suited him, the southern thing and I briefly wondered if he was ever a cowboy or a military man for Halloween as a little boy.  
I flinched downwards as something hit the crown of my head.  
"You daydream a lot, don't you chick?" Edward said with a roll of his eyes as I turned to glare at him.  
"There's nothing wrong with daydreaming Edward!" Alice protested and I thought _She would protest about that _ as I remembered the countless times I would catch her doodling on her homework or simply staring into nothing with a dreamy look in her eyes.  
"Yeah, yeah everyone knows it's impossible for Alice Cullen to not daydream. But this one over here," He retorted pointing an accusing thumb to me, "could do without the distractions. She'll somehow find a way to walk into a door."  
I glared and smacked his arm and he jumped away laughing "I was joking!"  
"You put him in his place!" Emmett laughed coming over to me and giving me a now familiar bear hug.  
I gave him a strict nod causing the rest to laugh. I rolled my eyes once more beginning to think they all slipped something in their breakfast. To dang perky, I swear.  
The bell rang and they all groan in sync, causing me to be slightly weird out. But I just realized it was just what they do.  
We all began walking to our respective classes and as the Cullens started separating I had to admit to myself that they weren't people I just sat with at lunch…they were my friends. My crazy talked in unison at times friends. Fuck.

I growled to myself and got my textbooks out of my locker, because apparently my teachers thought it'd be funny to all gang up on Izzy and give her about 10 hours worth of homework and have it all due tomorrow. _What a crock of shit_ I thought half tempted to just forego the assignments but knew my grades would suffer because of it. My absences were sometimes the reasons my grades went down, those 5 points for being in class always tripped me up.  
"Wassup, girl?" Edward said coming around to my locker and leaning against the side.  
**You sound like a nigger. **I typed on my phone, handing it to him before I bent down to the bottom of my locker to get my history book; I usually left it here because that shit felt like it weighed ton.  
Slapping a palm to his chest he said with a wounded look, "Ah that hurt. That hurt a lot _Izzy."_ I rolled my eyes and closed my locker, taking my phone back.  
I spun the dial, checking to make sure it was locked and then began typing on my phone  
**Must you emphasize my name? What do you want anyway?  
**"Did you mother teach you any manners? So rude sometimes" He muttered shaking his head.  
**Bite me. **He replied with just snapping his jaw continuously inching closer to my face.  
I swatted him away causing him to laugh.  
**Don't laugh! That shits unsanitary. You nasty ass, trying to get your germs on me.  
**"Watch the language, my ears are still fucking pure, you know!" he said shaking a finger at me.  
I raised an eyebrow, thinking this boy better be kidding. He looked at me for a second before cracking a smirk and lifting his hands in an 'I give'  
"Moving on. So you still want to know why I'm here."  
I nodded my head.  
"Do you have a printer over at your house?"  
I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering where this was going but nodded my head nonetheless.  
"Good, do you think I could come by later and have a copy of the report? I was thinking of taking some facts and blowing them up to decorate the poster board with."  
I thought about my schedule and realized I didn't have a schedule because that would require a life.  
**Yeah sure, around when? ** I asked needing to know when so I could go and connect the printer. It was somewhere in my room, I just couldn't remember where exactly.  
"Around 5 or 6 I guess. If that's okay with you." He asked me a bit frenzied at the end, obviously not wanting to come off rude.  
**That's fine. Anything else? **I typed shifting my books from one arm to another since the books seemed to be getting heavier the longer I held them. Noticing my dilemma he made a move forward reaching to the pile of books and grabbing the top two, leaving me to hold just one.  
I opened my mouth to protest, but then suddenly his index finger was pressing on my lips effectively shutting me up for the moment.  
"Shh! I am helping you out of the kindness of my heart." He joked. My eyes widened as I felt my face heat up, I sort of jumped away. I meant sort of because I didn't finish the jump, I ended hitting my head on hard metal of my locker, reminding me that I was leaning against it.  
"You're quite the clumsy one…aren't you?" Edward said staring at me intently.  
_Probably wondering if I was going to have another spaz attack. _ I thought as I narrowed my eyes. Childishly I stuck my tongue out and made my own move to try and take my books back.  
He jumped (successfully I might add annoyed) away from me and clutching my books to his chest and saying, "Aye! I am helping you from the kindness of my heart. Feel grateful that I am letting you hold that one right there. Might as well let you keep the clumsy independence you have."  
Any humor I found in the situation dimmed way as I tried hard to stay in the present and not let a plethora of memories invade my mind. I bit my bottom lip, looking away and stiffly nodded my head, renewing the hold on my textbook before pushing off the locker and silently starting to walk to my car.  
Once I got to the parking lot I looked back and saw that Edward was silently following me, looking down at his phone as he pushed a few buttons. Sensing my gaze he looked up and with one finger closed his phone.  
"Hey." He said simply. I let out a barely audible chuckle at his casual hello and gave him a small wave. We walked side by side to my car and I went to the passenger door, opening it and just throwing my shit in there. I looked over at Edward and saw he was just holding in his laughter.  
I rolled my eyes and motioned for him to follow my example.  
He stepped forward and muttered, "No respect for books." Before throwing them in there. As he started straightening up I leaned forward and flicked his head. I had respect for book. Just not when those books were going to make me do hours of homework.  
"Ow! You and the violence!" he grumbled and as he playfully glared at me I sent him an angelic smile.  
He dropped his glare and laughed shaking his head.  
"I'm not sure but I think you might be as bad as Alice."  
I widened my eyes and my hand shot up to cover my mouth in horror.  
"Yeah, be afraid, be very afraid."  
I waved him away as I walked around to my side of the car, leaving Edward on the passenger side.  
He leaned against my car, crossing his arms on the hood and then resting his chin on his arms. I copied his stance and started at him in silence for a few seconds. Which was broken when he shot me a super cheesy and wide smile.  
"I got to go, the families waiting for me to drive them home, I have the keys."  
I smiled as well thinking of his family standing by his car and tapping their feet in unison.  
'Go' I mouthed pushing myself off the hood of hood of the car.  
"Aye, Aye captain!" He saluted me before smacking the hood of my car with his raised arm and stepping away getting ready to leave.  
"Around 5 or 6 okay? I'll text you before I start driving over." And with that he turned on his heel and started jogging over to his family quite a lanes away from my car.

I yawned, walking out of the kitchen with my bowl of cheerios and headed back to my room. I had finished most of my homework as soon I got home. And I was stopping to get a late lunch, since I wasn't hungry during school.  
As I was in the hallway going to my room I heard a faint ping sound. It kept getting louder as I got closer to my room.  
_Ping, ping, ping, ping. _I stood on the threshold of my room staring around before I saw the sound was coming from my computer.  
I narrowed my eyes trying to get a better look as I walked to my pinging computer. There was a little pop up screen that was blinking; it read **RockingGrammy25 would like to chat with you! Accept or Deny? **

I stared at the pop up, not recognizing who the person was, but clicked accept nevertheless.  
I continued eating my cereal as I waited for the video chat to finalize. I yawned again as I lifted the bowl to drink the milk.  
When I put the bowl away from my face I swear I almost went into a shock coma.  
There on my computer screen was my tiny grandmother. I gaped at her for a few seconds.  
"HI honey!"  
'Grandma?' I mouthed before I realized that she probably wouldn't understand me. I leaned forward and opened up a chat box along with the video chat.  
**Grandma?  
**She laughed and I instantly felt like a 5 year old again sitting on her kitchen table as she made me some hot chocolate  
"Oh Isabella! You should have seen your face."  
**Grandma! What are you doing on the computer? You should be resting! ** I typed my protective side for Granny showing.  
"Pish, Posh. It was only a heart attack; it won't keep me down for long."  
I stared at her disapprovingly. A heart attack was a big thing. She shouldn't be treating it so lightly. But then again that's just how my grandmother was.  
Grandma's smile dimmed and her eyes softened,  
"Oh sweet pea, I'm sorry I worried you, but I have been taking the medication just like the doctor said so."  
I smiled back at Granny, feeling so good that I was talking to her, I drank in her features. Her slight gray hair that gently curled, her brown eyes that even with her age seemed so young and lively. The stupid door bell doing on and on.  
I felt my face blank, _who the hell is that? _  
**Hey grandma, I'll be right back. Some ones at the door.  
**"Go answer, Isabella I'll be right there."  
I smiled and nodded then scurried down the stairs. I couldn't get the locks open with all my hast to go back up to granny. I thought curse words to myself and by the time I managed to open the door, I was flustered.  
"Um, hi? Is this a bad time?" Edward said standing in front of the door awkwardly.  
'What are you doing here?' I mouthed confused.  
He raised an unimpressed eyebrow and said, "Did you seriously forget?"  
I stared at him for a moment, waiting for something to click.  
'Oh!' I gasped, 'The paper?'  
"Yeah, the paper," He said a musing look on his face; "You really are a scatterbrain aren't you."  
I glared at him  
'Am not. I just need to print it. It's in my room.' I mouthed tempted to shut the door in his face.  
I had found the printer faster then I expected; it was under my bed in the original box it came in. All I had to do was turn it on once I had the document open.  
My eyes widened as I remembered that granny was still waiting.  
'Wait right here.' I mouthed before running back up the stairs. As I opened the door to my room I saw my grandmother still on the screen with a content smile on her face. She waved at me and said, "Hi sweet pea, everything alright?"  
I nodded smiling back and typed, **Yeah I just to print something out real quick.  
**"Go ahead sweet pea." I went to the start menu and opened up my documents, scrolled down to the doc titled 'Biology Report' and waited for it to load.  
"Isabella, who is that?" Granny's curious voice sounded out. I furrowed my eyebrows and opened the video chat once more. Even know I had minimized the page my video camera…thing, hell if I knew what it's called, was still on letting granny still have a view into my room. I looked behind me and saw that Edward had followed me up to my room. I narrowed my eyes and thought _I may be a scatterbrain but at least I don't go into peoples houses uninvited.  
_Turning back to Granny I typed  
**No one.  
**Granny stared me down for a second before she said, "That sure doesn't look like no one, come here boy."  
I internally groaned but turned around to see Edward walk into the room. When he got to the computer desk, he bent down to the webcam and waved hello to Granny.  
"Who are you?" Granny asked bluntly but a smile still upon her lips.  
"I'm Edward Cullen, a friend of…" He paused giving me a sly look before continuing, "_Isabella's_."  
_More like annoyance.  
_"Isabella, why didn't you tell me you had such a cutie pie for a friend! He's a looker." She said, her smile growing to almost rival the Cheshire cat smile of Alice.  
Beside me Edward chuckled and said, "Thank you Ma'am."  
"Oh sweet pea, you can just call me Granny." She said her eyes shining.  
_And just like that you managed to all but seduce my grandmother with that boyish charm of yours Edward fucking Cullen._  
"Alright Granny, but I'm sorry I have to cut this meeting short. I need _Isabella_ here to print something out for a biology project we're working on." He said politely while secretly nudging me, trying to egg a reaction from me.  
Luckily for me, Granny got distracted from her side of the computer and turned her head to the side; using this as my opportunity I roughly elbowed him in his side. He let out a pained breath and rubbed his inflicted area. Quickly I minimized the page once more and opened up the waiting document then going to the task bar and clicking print. Seconds later the printer started up and began printing out the 6 pages.  
"Your Granny is really nice." Edward whispered in my ear and I just rolled my eyes. My Granny wasn't just nice…she was the shit.  
"It was a pleasure meeting you Granny. Hope to talk to you again soon." Edward said as I opened up the video chat once more.  
"Oh the pleasure was all mine. Any cute friend of my Isabella's is a friend of mine." Granny laughed and I smiled glad to see her happy, though in the inside I was slightly mortified that she kept calling Edward cute.  
**I'll be back Granny. I'm going to walk Edward out.  
**"Okay, I'm going to check on your grandfather real quick as well."  
I let Edward walk out of my room first, distantly aware that he had a big ass smile on his face right now.  
"Your grandmother is very interesting, Isabella." He said as he started walking out the door.  
I pointed a finger to him and mouthed,  
'its Izzy.'  
He stared at me for a few seconds before saying, "Yeah but you don't look like an Izzy to me, and Isabella is too formal. I'm pretty sure only Granny could make it work for you." He paused staring at me once more and I felt myself start to blush the slightest bit.  
He smiled and said, "No, you're not an Izzy. Anyway I'll see you tomorrow _Bella."  
_And with that I slammed the door in his face and leaned against it, waiting for my cursed blush to go away.  
I could hear him laughing as he walked away.

* * *

**So? did the 15 Microsoft word pages and 7, 987 words make you guys forgive me for the lateness of updating? i sure hope so.**

**And if i offended anyone with the 'Nigger' comment i swear i didn't do it maliciously, its just something me and my friends say to each other when we stop using correct grammar through text, and my buddies thought it'd be funny for Izzy to 'say'**  
**UM what else...Oh! yeah i hope you guys were able to connect the tiny dots as to why Izzy acts the way she does to certain things, (i.e. or e.g.(whatever) Renee's offer to cook breakfast with the flash back)**

**Oh and i also intended to make something else happen in this chapter which would tremendously sped up the story plot (if you can call it that. psh.) but i decided against it, it just didn't feel right at the time of writing the chapter.**  
**So! review on your thoughts please. What did you think of the EdwardXIzzy scenes? are they starting to get better? **  
**So yeah... Review!**  
**oh and on a totally out there side note i'm going to Cancun on the 27th! ^-^ so excited!**

**Bye Bye!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey... so yeah its me. i didn't die (well obviously i posted a new story a few weeks ago. duh.)**  
**Let me just say that writers block sucks sweaty balls. yeah for reals. i was angry. super angry because a song that i have been dreaming and knowing without a doubt how it was going to be incorporated into my story and the meaning and what it would do to our izzy *hint hint* was used in fanfic i was reading and i was like "Fucking shit!" and i went on a cuss tirade and i was like "No fuck this shit" so instead of doing my geomerty homework i started finishing this chapter.  
and like before writers block sucks...but...i couldn't come up with anything creative so you learned more about izzy and (!)  
*jesus voice*  
THE PLOT IS MOVED! *evil but nervous laugh***

**anyway...(holy shit...i thought i saw some thunder right now...anyway) Read! and yeah...**  
**don't hate me? (you'll read why later)**

* * *

Walk forward, run, catch, throw back.  
Step up.  
Walk forward, run, catch, throw back.  
Step up  
Walk forward, run, and catch, throw back.  
I step up and wait for my turn. I yawned as the girl in front of me start complaining about her shoes getting dirty.  
She caught the ball nevertheless and then jogged back giving it to the quarterback.  
"You're up." She says without looking at me. I start running without caring.  
As I passed the blue mark I turn to the side and see as the ball leaves the girls hand. It sails gracefully in the air and I awkwardly reach up to catch it, the low sound resounds in my head as I catch it in my hands, wrapping my fingers securely around it.  
I walk, fuck running, back to the quarterback and toss her the ball. The giggles and gossip of the girls surrounding me making me grind my teeth.  
Physical Education should be against the law. Just saying.  
The routine continues for the next 15 minutes before Mr. Diaz blows his whistle bringing the class to order.  
"Footballs go into the blue bag." He announces as we gather around him.  
"Good job today. We'll start playing flag football on Monday, for now we're just going to keep going over the plays. Boy's you're be going into groups tomorrow, since you already know the basics to playing the game, I'm going to help the girls a bit more." He continued his voice loud for everyone to hear and enough for the weight rooms' walls, just a few feet away from us, to make an echo of his voice.  
He finished off with saying we have 15 minutes left before class ended and we could do whatever we wanted. Translation: "I'm a lazy fuck and I want to go home. You stay in the freezing cold for a few more minutes while I go to my office and finish my hot chocolate."  
We dispersed and I made my way to the new football track.  
"Pst." I heard before I caught sight of Edward on the top bleacher. He waved me over and I shook my head, instead making him come down. He in turn rolled his eyes but still came down with his black backpack on his shoulder.  
"What's up?" he said as he jumped from the second to last bleacher and landed before me.  
I shrugged and restarted my walk, he followed syncing our steps.  
It was quiet for a few seconds before he let out a loud yawn. I smirked and looked over to him, just in time to catch him wipe his eyes from the tears that accumulated.  
"Shut up." He muttered looking away from me. I shrugged as if to say 'I didn't say anything'.  
Knocking his shoulders lightly into mine he said, "Aren't you tired?"  
_Always.  
_I shook my head looking up at him.  
He gave out a chuckle and said, "Yeah well some people need more then 4 hours of sleep."  
'I told you to go to sleep.' I mouthed slowly. He gave me a look and said, "Yeah just like I told you. Did we listen? No."  
I heard the ring of the dressing bell. I turned and started walking back towards the locker rooms.  
When it occurred to me, "Don't you have class?"  
he shook his head no, "I have 6th free. Right now I'm thinking about becoming an office TA."  
'Fancy.' I mouthed reaching up to tighten my pony tail. We were walking up the hill to where the concrete started by now and I looked down at my shoes in distain. They were muddy. Again.  
"How's granny?" Edward asked.  
'Fine.' I replied. I waved bye and left into the girls' locker room without giving him a chance to ask another question about granny.  
Truth was I didn't know. We haven't spoken since our video chat a week ago.  
~O~  
I got home and finished all of Thursday's homework with more then enough time to spare.  
I sighed to myself, lying down on the living room floor. I was home alone again; Charlie had to work late tonight and wouldn't be home for a while.  
I started at the textured ceiling, my classical playlist playing on full blast from my iHome. A Yiruma song was playing, my dulled mind able to recognize his familiar plays but I was too lost within the mental piano in my head to tell you which song it was. My body literally ached to go to Seattle right now, but I knew that if I did my need to play wouldn't be satisfied in the short amount of time allotted, Charlie would get mad if he got home without me in bed 'sleeping'. All 20 something songs I had in my playlist played for a rotation of 3 times before I finally realized I should eat something. I got up the floor feeling disoriented and half present but made my way into the kitchen anyway, 'Für Elise' playing making my head dance to the melody of it. To lazy to come up with something intricate I decided to make some macaroni and cheese. I got everything out and place the pot with water on the stove. I had to catch myself from falling into a stupor a few times, I hated when this happened. I would loose track of time, never realizing that time would past until I was knocked out if it by something. If I was being completely honest, falling into the stupors scared me. I was always afraid that I wouldn't be able to snap out of it, since these cases always happened when I was alone.  
Thankfully everything was finished in about thirty minutes and I sat down with a rather large bowl and commence to scarf it down. It was breakfast/dinner sine I didn't eat lunch at school.  
When I was finished I left the rest of the mac and cheese in the refrigerator for Charlie to eat when he got home. I yawned making my way up the stair at 10:30 but fully knowing I wouldn't fall asleep. My full stomach turned as I stared at the bathroom door, my thoughts traveling.  
Before I could process everything I was inside the bathroom opening up the medicine cabinet taking out the bottle of grape flavored cough syrup. I looked into the mirror, staring into my reflection, my eyes tired but awake at the same time. I wanted sleep.  
I wanted sleep.  
I opened the cough syrup and took a swig of it. Placing it back where it belonged I went to my room and changed into my jammies. After lying in my bed for about 30 minutes I finally felt the effects of the cough syrup. My eyes drooped and I let them without a fight.  
My heart started racing for a moment, an unexplainable sad calm placed over me and my last thought before I got the first full night of sleep in too long was _Granny_.

_Beep, Beep, Beep, _my heavy lids opened slowly, making me reach up and rub the sleep from my eyes. I was confused for a second as my eyes started prickling with tears. I blinked them away angrily. I hated crying. Hated it. I got up reluctantly, my mood low as I carelessly chose and outfit for today. I walked into the bathroom at turned the water all the way to hot.  
After showering and dressing I made my way downstairs and noticed that Charlie had eaten his dinner. I washed the plate robotically before I opened a cabinet found a granola bar. I ate it slowly making each bite longer then needed.  
"Morning." Charlie said uniform and all.  
I nodded in acknowledgement keeping my eyes on the black scuff mark on the white floor.  
I heard his steps stop, "Are you okay, Izzy? You feeling alright?" I nodded once more before pushing against the table and getting up; I grabbed my backpack off the floor and got my iPod from the iHome then walking to the door.  
"Have a nice day, sweetheart." Charlie called out.  
_Doubt it._ I thought as I got inside my cold car and turned it on. It was when I got to school that I bothered to look at the time and saw that I still had 30 minutes before the bell rang. So I settled with going to the library and using the free time I had to read.  
My mood didn't improve at all during the day, it probably got worse actually. Angela wasn't in school today she got her period and had major stomach cramps. I skipped lunch all together again and stayed in the library reading. I quickly realized though that I was in a stupor. But I was able to tell the motion of time passing. I didn't talk to the Cullen's much at all today. During Biology I pretty much zoned everyone out, everyone meaning Edward when he tried to talk to me. Half wishing that none of my new friends (I still say that loosely) have been insulted by my all but shut down body I skip P.E, hiding out in the bathrooms near the science building.  
The day has been sluggish at most; the times when I was in a stupor were always the worst though. It always took something to knock me out of the funk, if not something then I would sleep the day away and I would go back to 'normal'. Angela didn't know about these little episodes I had, they didn't happen often enough for her to notice. In my haze I managed to think about what would break my loose this time. My phone buzzed; a new text.  
**  
Hey Izzy! Did Emmett eat you today? Lol, anyway I can't make it today for your appointment at the hospital, but good luck! ~Angela**

Hospital? Why would i…oh. It's Friday. Fuck. I felt like a sulky little preteen as I realized I would have to sing, with no desire to do so at all. With an internal heavy sigh I got my iPod out and scrolled…and scrolled…and scrolled. I growled, yes I growled like a fucking dog. I couldn't pick a song so with little hope I went to my karaoke playlist, 'You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground' by Mayday Parade caught my attention and I played the song on repeat until the bell rang.  
"Hello Izzy." Dr. Cullen said as I stepped into the room a minute before the appointment started.  
I nodded my hello and went straight to the stage to connect my iPod before going to the white board and writing  
'You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground' by Mayday Parade  
"Doing a cover, I presume?" I heard behind me, in which I simply nodded again.  
the crappy quality of the karaoke song began giving a stereotypic 3 beat countdown before the song started  
on '1' I closed my eyes and I wrapped my hands around the microphone my feet shoulder length apart.

**And honestly, I have been begging for answers**  
**That you and only you can give to me**  
**My voice crying loud**  
**I've been crying for days now**  
**And as I start to run, I stop to breathe**  
**(And I was nearly scared to death)**  
**And I was nearly scared to death**  
**(Why you left in paragraphs)**  
**Why you left in paragraphs**  
**(The words were nearly over us)**  
**The words were nearly over us**  
**You stop and turn and grab your bags**

**And I'll be here by the ocean**  
**Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams**  
**All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes**  
**And every waves drags me to sea**  
**I could stand here for hours**  
**Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"**  
**With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question.**  
**Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?"**

**As hours move to minutes**  
**And minutes take longer to break**  
**I will be desperately awaiting**  
**But my tongue won't fall apart**  
**And we've been sitting here for hours**  
**All alone and in the dark**

**So let me think of how to word it**  
**Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?**  
**If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere**  
**I'm sure everything would find me**  
**All that's left is just to sing**

**And I'll be here by the ocean**  
**Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams**  
**All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes**  
**And every waves drags me to sea**  
**I could stand here for hours**  
**Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"**  
**With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question.**  
**Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?"**

**And if you sing to me sweet until then,**  
**I may never sail Virginia again**  
**And as this current moves slow for me**  
**This much you must know we'll meet again**  
**And I'll have you know I'm scared to death**

**Tell me once again**  
**That you'll love me to the death**  
**And should I die, you swear that you will come for me**  
**As I fade away, you reach out your hand**  
**(And please don't let me go)**  
**And please don't let me go**  
**(And please don't let me go)**  
**And please don't let me go**

**And I'll be here by the ocean**  
**Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams**  
**All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes**  
**And every waves drags me to sea**  
**I could stand here for hours**  
**Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"**  
**With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question.**  
**Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?"**

"That good, are you feeling alright? You seemed a bit…I wouldn't say distracted but off."  
'I'm fine.' I mouthed slowly, trying to convey that I wasn't lying.  
With a bit of doubt he nodded his head and continued with the usual, no stress with my vocal chords, my voice held strong, I rocked his socks off. Okay well he didn't say that but if I had he never showed it.  
"Wait! My dad's almost done!" I heard Alice's voice chime loudly from outside before the door was slammed open, making me flinch.  
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open…Renée?  
'Mom.' I mouthed cautiously as I stared at her frantic form; she was gasping and shuddering with held back tears. With doctor serenity Dr. Cullen stepped to Renée and with a low voice said "Breathe in and out, follow my lead." Renée did as instructed her eyes never leaving mine. My attention was taken away from Renée when I saw Charlie jog in a second later. I could feel the bile rise as I took in his shaken form. I blinked trying to fight off the nauseous their emotional outward turmoil was causing me when I realized they weren't here for a simple "Hello, tea and crackers anyone?"  
"Izzy." Charlie's voice sounded miles away and I felt my vision fall sideways before I caught myself. His voice cracked; despair more then coated his tone. It became his tone.  
My heart beat sped up I looked rapidly between Charlie and Renée.  
Big, fat tears rolled down Charlie's cheeks, his words taking a moment for me to process. As they slowly sunk in I thought back to earlier today, when I wondered what it would take to knock me out of stupor.  
"Granny died."

…

…  
'Wait, what?'

* * *

**Do i have to hide? **  
**yeah...so do you hate me? this is what i didn't write in the last chapter because it didn't seem right. (Fuck! i gave myself a paper cut.) **  
**ummm...all mistakes are mine. and its all just horrible and shit i am sorry but i was all angrily typing this. oh! and the Mayday song...yeah...i couldn't find any songs i felt comfortable for Izzy to sing while in a 'funk' (i listened to, no lie bro, 30 songs trying to go all in depth with the meaning of the song so i can make useful to Izzy situation before i called my friend and he's all like "make her sing a mayday parade song!" and i was no! but then a thought struck me! but i can't tell you guys! i think its pretty obvious but then again you don't have the entire story running circles in your head and taking up space in your Spanish 3 notebook.)  
ENOUGH OF MY BLABBERING!**  
**REVIEW PLEASE!**  
**and dudes...i have read so many emotional and well thought out fanfics it makes mine look so pitiful. i aim, like that my goal, for when i get to the climax to have you all in the palm of izzy's hand crying your eyes out with all the emotion i hope imma be able to convey!**  
pst...review yeah?


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey! its here. o.o i can't believe it. i have had little bits and scenes of this chapter in my head for the longest. it seems surreal to finally have typed them down. but i hope i do you guys proud.  
It means the world to me when i get those little notifications on my iPod and i see that i have a new message from fanfiction.  
Anyway! on with the reading! P.S sorry for any mistakes.  
**

* * *

As soon as Charlie let the words tumble from his mouth everyone in the room held in me cautious regard, not taking their eyes off of me, vigilant for my reaction. It was because of this that when 'wait…what' had tumbled from my lips, no sound resonating like always that they had seen my reaction. Everyone had the slightest change in posture, lax with obvious disappointment with my lack of voice.  
But I was reeling, so many words to say but I couldn't find the nerve cells to make my brain command my mouth to speak.  
Granny was dead…dead. A mental image of her pale, stiff and cold trespassed and I felt my stomach coil and the nausea from seconds ago raging but with no food in my body at the moment nothing came up.  
Renée having calmed down enough approached me with slow purposeful steps, "Izzy, honey." Her voice wavering with more unshed tears, still coming closer she stopped in front of me.  
"Izzy…we need to go, we have to go help granddaddy."  
Granddaddy, he lived in Arizona inside of a small baby blue house, with green curtains covering the windows from the harsh afternoon sun rays. He let granny do whatever she wanted to the house, she decorated it with clashing colors and matching colors, whatever colors she had wanted to combine on that day.  
But now what was he going to do? She was…she was gone. She wasn't at the store getting semi dark chocolate chips for her chunky chocolate chip cookies; she wasn't at the flower store getting pink roses. She wasn't outside playing with the neighbors kids letting them believe she could talk to the fairies and kind trolls who lived in peace inside the rose trellises planning to make some new houses with the fallen petals.  
She wasn't here. She wasn't there. She wasn't alive.  
"Izzy." Both Charlie and Renée called out, their voice soft as if I was frightened child.  
"We need to go home; we booked a flight for eight o'clock tonight."  
My beating heart thundered in my ears, I heard all their words but I didn't couldn't them stay within my brain as the those three sentences kept playing over and over.  
"Um…Izzy can't leave." A new voice, Dr. Cullen's voice sounded.  
I was the last to turn towards him.  
"What do you mean doctor?" Renée said defiance riddled in her tone, Charlie placed a hand on her arm.  
"If she misses fifteen days of school consecutively*, they will automatically drop her." Alice says as she walks past me to stand next to Dr. Cullen, before continuing.  
"That's without a note from the doctor for serious medical reasons or an ask of leave of sorts…well I guess you could transfer her to a school to where you're going but I wouldn't recommend that. Also getting an ask of leave with about three to four hours before you actually leave, I highly doubt it will be approved anyway."  
Renée saw the truth and reason behind Alice's confidently spoken words and turned to me, but spoke to Charlie.  
"I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone."  
_You do it all the time. _  
"She can stay with us!" Alice chimed in once more, excitement coloring tone. "We have more then enough room at our house, right daddy?"  
Oh, I see what she did right there, sugaring him up with that little innocent voice and that 'Daddy'  
"That's right we do, it truly would be beneficial for Izzy to stay here in Forks while you go and sort everything out in Arizona."  
My parents looked at each other, silently communicating with looks. Renée bit her lip before turning to Dr. Cullen.  
"We would send you a monthly pay for her expenses while she stay and-"  
"No, no it's fine. It's not needed. We're asking because we want her to stay. There is no reason to pay us. We're only helping out because we want to." Dr. Cullen interrupted with a smile  
"She'll be treated like family."  
…_do I not have a say in this?  
_Treating me like family won her over and she sighed with a small smile and said "Thank you, so much."  
_I don't want to stay there.  
_"Izzy, you'll be sure to keep your manners alright sweetheart?"  
_I. Don't. Want. To. Stay. There.  
_"We'll send you money weekly, we don't know how long it's going to take to get everything sorted and I would like to leave when I know granddaddy is completely able to live without granny." Her voice crack when she said granny. And it bothered me the way she worded that sentence. 'Able to live without granny' it sounds so cold. He just lost his wife and best friend. Obviously he isn't going to completely live without her. He'll be missing her and constantly wishing for her to be with him again.  
She looked at her watch and grimaced, "We need to go and start packing, honey. But listen to me. You'll finish your appointment then go home and pack your suitcase so you can spend few weeks with the Cullen's. I'll call if we need to stay longer." With a kiss to my forehead and stiff hug later they were gone.  
I don't know how long they let me star the empty space where my parents had just been before bringing me back to earth.  
"Izzy?" Alice said quietly before coming up to me and placing a, what I assumed to be, soothing hand on my arm like Charlie had done to Renée just minutes ago. I turned to her and saw that there was pity in her wide pale jade eyes.  
_I'm not the one who died. I don't deserve your pity. I don't want it.  
_'Are we done here?' I signed to her, again not able to find power of my mouth  
"Is the appointment done, dad?" she turned and asked him.  
"Yes it is, but before you leave I think we should make a game plan for when you should move into the house, that way we can have your room set up." He looked at me while he spoke.  
"Your parents never specified when they wanted you with us, so if they're still there by the time you get home ask them that for me, is that alright?" once I nodded he continued, "bring anything you'll need to make yourself feel comfortable with us." _I doubt it. _"One of the kids most likely will help you get to the house since it is a bit secluded."  
I nodded again and began to walk out of the room but as I got to the threshold of the room he called me out again.  
"I'm sorry for your lost Izzy. Truly I am."  
It seemed like the only thing I could manage was a nod as I turned and kept walking.  
When I got back to the house it was empty. My bed was cold but thankfully a few minutes after closing my eyes, obliviousness swept through me and I slept. But not even sleeping could keep away the images of my granny away.  
It was a collage of her, from the earliest memories when I was four all the way to a few summers ago. The last images, before I woke up at 5:2, was of almost two weeks ago.  
"I love you sweet pea."  
I stayed in bed until well after the afternoon watching the ceiling change colors from a dark grey to white with some yellow due to the sun that was peaking through the clouds.  
When I finally got up I had the strong urge to pee and I was starving.  
I took a quick shower before going downstairs to make some food, as I was opening the refrigerator a note tapes to the door caught my eye.  
_Dear Izzy,  
it seems we have finished packing faster then we assumed, and we have to get on the road if we're going to make it on time for our flight. I know this is all sudden and you're probably confused but please don't make anything too difficult for the Cullen's. They were nice enough to invite you to their home. I just realized that we never told you when to go to them. Please Izzy, go there sometime this weekend. If you need anything just call or text me, I'm only a phone call away.  
I'll be checking in sometime tomorrow, please have your phone with you at all times.  
Love,  
Mom and Dad._  
This was obviously written by Renée. I read it once more before crumpling it up, tossing it in the sink and turning on the water.  
I made a turkey sandwich and ate it slowly. Counting up to thirty for each bite before swallowing, but with each time it became increasingly harder then the last to do so. I managed to eat a little more then half before I threw it away and washed my plate. I spent the rest of the day away from my phone and cleaning the house including the parents' room since they left it so damn messy.  
Saturday came to an end to soon and much to my dismay sleep didn't come to me as easy as yesterday. I tossed and turned all night, probably getting about an hour of sleep. I was dead tired but my mind wouldn't shut off. I knew rationally that I wasn't letting it either; I didn't want to sleep if it meant having a repeat hodgepodge of granny.

Late afternoon I found myself being taking out of the world Pattyn Von Stratten* and back into mine by my doorbell, I sighed to myself and put my book mark in place before going to answer it.  
I should have known it was a Cullen but still I didn't know what I expected.  
"Hey." Edward said simply standing outside; I offered him a wave before I opened the door all the way and let him inside.  
"Dad told us what happened…I'm sorry." He said as he walked inside. I led him to him to the living room. I shrugged in answer.  
I saw back on recliner, tucking my legs under me and Edward sat down on the couch.  
It was quiet for a few minutes both of us in our own thoughts.  
"How are you?"  
'Fine' I responded  
He stared at me for a long time and when I started to squirm under his emerald gaze he finally spoke,  
"Its okay to cry you know."  
_No, no its not. It's never okay to cry.  
_ I shrugged.  
"Your mom called earlier." He smirked, "you don't listen do you? She told us you aren't answering her calls. Or my texts."  
I let out a small smile and point to the ceiling without words saying that I left it upstairs.  
Abruptly he stood up and came over to me, taking the book from my lap and placing it on the coffee table before grabbing me by the hands and hauling me up. Completely ignoring the noises of protest I was making in the back of my throat.  
"You sound like baby pig." He laughed as I glared raising my fist as threat to punch him. He led me to my room and said, "Pack your bag."  
My eyes narrowed curiously, before I remembered what he said.  
She called and asked if I was there yet. Ugh. With resignation I went to the small closet we had in the hall way and managed to find my suitcase.  
Before I started too actually pack I stared Edward down until he got the point to get out.  
"Oh, uh…yeah I'll just be downstairs." He stumbled out before walking out of the room.  
Since I had my clothes organized I simply got some ten or so jeans, undershirts, my graphic tee's, some hoodies, and my under, under garments. Oh and socks. Lots and lots of socks. Anything else I would need I could just come and get it. I made a mental note to bring my pillow later on.  
I walked downstairs and found Edward by the fire place staring at the mantel, well more like the items on the mantel. Pictures of when I was younger.  
_Pictures of when you were actually happy, _the realist in me said with some attitude. Edward still had yet to notice me in the room so I roughly set my bag onto the floor. He jumped, startled and twirled around to face me.  
'I'm ready.' I mouthed, now the cynic in me saying _yeah to meet my maker. _He nodded and made a move forward to get my bags, I tried to protest but he ignored me silencing me with a smoldering look and a simple. "Shut up." In which I let him know exactly what I thought of his little statement with a little finger.  
"Do you have everything?" he asked throwing my suitcase over his shoulder, not even flinching when it bounced against his shoulder blade.  
I bit my lip looking around the living room before I saw my iHome. With a set determination I walked to it and unplugged it before calmly placing it back inside its packaging. Yeah I saved the box and Styrofoam. I can proudly say I am a bit of a box hoarder. Hence how my printer that I needed was now back under my bed how I had found it.  
But like hell I was going to go live with the Cullen's without my iHome. It's like asking the pope to go somewhere without all his pope-ness outfits and bible. It was just…not right. When I turned back around Edward chuckled when I clutched the box to chest to keep him from going all macho man and taking it from me as well.  
'Shut up.' I repeated trying to send him a smoldering glare like he did before. It didn't work. He just laughed harder. I smiled against my will at the sound. It sounded like music and oh so smooth.  
After putting the suitcase in his trunk, he opened the door of my car and said that he was going to lead the way.  
The way to his house was relatively easy but I understood why Dr. Cullen had made Edward show me the way, there was turn that was hidden and if you blinked you would miss it. Well not really but it was close enough.  
Thankfully the entire Cullen family wasn't standing outside when we drove up their drive way.  
Hesitantly I got out the car and held back a gasp. The house was so beautiful and big. Like really big. Maybe two of my houses would fit snuggly inside the house and still have room.  
"Hey…Bella, you gonna come up the stairs anytime soon?" Edward said jokingly brining me out of my awe coma. I glared and made sure there wasn't an authority figure anywhere around before I flipped him off.  
"That wasn't a nice gesture Bella." _oh really? Well here you can have an encore performance. _  
He let out a laugh shaking his head, "Your mom said to remind you to keep your manners. Now c'mon everyone is waiting inside."  
I sighed and closed the drivers' door before locking my car. He held the front door out for me and I passed through carefully. This time I didn't hold back a gasp, it was almost inaudible but Edward managed to hear it since he was right behind me.  
"It's nice huh? My mom was an interior designer for a while back in LA."  
The inside of the house seemed like it belonged somewhere more fabulous then here in this dump of drear Forks.  
"Sweetheart?" I heard a soft warm voice call out, soft footsteps following a second later.  
A head popped of a door to the left. A woman, Mrs. Cullen I'm assuming. She met my gaze before sending me a dazzlingly similar smile of that of Alice and Edward.  
"Hi." Mrs. Cullen said stepping into view completely. She was wearing a sweater like dress, its color a deep purple. Her caramel colored hair feel down her shoulders with soft waves. Her hand reach up to her cheek as she stared at me,  
"My, well aren't you a pretty little thing." She said. My eyes widened feeling embarrassment rush throughout my body. No one had ever been that forward in complimenting me.  
She let out a laugh that seemed to go with everything I've noticed about her so far. Soft. Warm. Welcoming. Her hazel eyes flashed to my hands and then Edward with a slight frown that almost looked out of place with her delicate rounded face.  
"Did you not bring any clothes?" She asked me curiously.  
"Oh I left it in the car. So her to her room yeah?" Edward said before sending me a smile and going back outside.  
My room?  
"I'm Esme by the way. Please. Do call me Esme. I can just see that look on your face and you want to answer with Mrs. Cullen don't you!" Her entrancing laugh sounded again and she held out her hand for me. I stared at it before looking at her face. With her hand still out she shook her fingers to me,  
"Come, I'll show you to your room. It was such short notice so I didn't have time to redecorate but Alice and I managed to paint the walls black, Alice said you wouldn't mind. Is that okay?" Hand still waiting. Her face with etched with patience and her award winning white smile.  
In a slight daze and urge not to hurt her feelings I tentatively reached for her hand. Her smile grew and she whispered "Come." And led me up the flights of stairs giving me a small tour of the house, said I was welcome to anything including the library and food pantry at any time. This was now my home too.  
I didn't have the energy to tell her I had no intentions of getting used to the living arrangement. We made it to the 3rd floor and walked along the hall, a door was opened and I couldn't help but look inside for a moment. It was really nice. Its walls were black and the bed along with the carpet was a rich gold. But my eyes wandered over to the wall to almost hundreds of CD cases. I itched to go over and exam the albums and artists.  
"That's Edward's room." Mrs. Cullen filled in before lightly tugging my hand and taking me to the door adjacent to Edwards.  
When it became obvious that she wasn't going to open the door, and for an excuse to let go of her hand, I released my hold on her and reached forward to open the door.  
The smell of fresh paint assaulted me but I didn't mind, I took a step into the room and looked around. It was similar to that of Edwards. Large, spacious. The bed was a queen with bark blue bed sheets.  
"Do you like it?" Mrs. Cullen asked after a minute.  
Mechanically I nodded my head and turned to her.  
She smiled at me and then continued to say, "I'll leave you to get used to the room. Come down when you're ready dear." With a closer look at my face she said, "Take a nap if you want also. It must be hard but it will get better."  
It seemed she wanted to hug me, but thankfully she didn't and left the room without another word.  
I waited until I couldn't hear her footsteps before I crossed the room and closed the door, locking it in place. With dead legs I shuffled over the bed, the underlining message in her words running in my head. _You look tired; take a nap, _made me realize that I was in fact tired. I got up once more and turned off the light. I sat back on the bed, staring into the black of darkness, the heavy drapes covering the perpendicular wall to the door expelling any light. My eyes began to fight against me, willing to close but I held them open. I took deeps breaths as I thought of the past days. Nothing was in my control. Granny died, I was taken from my house and thrust into this house of people. _Nothing was in my control.  
_Sometime later I heard footsteps stop in front of the door. I didn't move as I strained to listen who was out there.  
"Is she awake?"  
"I don't know. I don't see any light."  
Rattling from the door knob.  
"It's locked."  
"I'll just the bags here."  
"That's good, let her sleep. The poor girl."  
The footsteps walked away.  
_Nothing is in your control. _I know I should have slept. I should have been thankful that sleep was begging to enclose around me…but I didn't. I stayed in my position all night, torching myself with the images and scenes from my memory of granny.  
Everything else around me was being sorted and chosen but my sleep was mine. Mine alone with no one to share it with.  
So I didn't sleep.

* * *

**Soooo...what do you think? did it suck? i hope not.  
Oh! the *  
the first. "If she misses fifteen days of school consecutively" I tried to get the most accurate number but it seemed like every school had something different. ugh. so i said fuck it and put 15 because that was the one i was reading. **  
**the second was "Pattyn Von Stratten" I was reading that book, so i made Izzy read it. she loved it. its Burned by Ellen Hopkins by the way.  
Hmm...What Else? Oh! i'm going to be deleting and moving some chapters around. but i will delete that authors note. i've been meaning to for a while now. Every time i pass by it when i'm going through the chapters to find something i get this knot in my stomach and its so ughhh. soo yeah...**

Review on your thoughts please!


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey! so yeah...i didn't mean for the update to take...2? yeah something like that months. *hids* don't hate me?  
Anyway! i really hope you liked the chapter, and i tired to get all the mistakes out so sorry in advance for them!  
P.S i added some ExB(technically it's ExI but yeah...XD)  
_I don't do this often but _  
_I don't own shit. its all SM and i would willingly go to jail (but i will be no ones bitch -.-) if someone ever said that i owned twilight, that and i would die. oh the things i would have made Edward do :P _****  
Enjoy! **

* * *

"Shouldn't you be going home? It's getting late." Her voice broke the silence of the night. I sighed to myself and got my phone out.  
**  
Charlie's working late; Renée isn't in town.  
**  
I gave Angela the phone and settled back into star gazing. We snuck into school and managed to get onto the roof. It was a cloud free night. The whole town almost illuminated by the bright stars.  
"Oh." She said.

I 'hummed' in response. I haven't told her yet…about anything. During school, she would space-out and I could see that she already had enough on her plate, just by the little crease that would appear between her eyebrows.  
**  
You can go if you want. **I typed when I got my phone back.

After a moments hesitation, she said "I have to help my mom…I'm sorry. I don't mean to bail on you." I shrugged. She had a family at home.  
**  
Its cool, I'll see you tomorrow. **

"Bye." She whispered as she shut the door that lead back into the school. Two minutes later I head her car start. I checked my phone 8:27pm. It suddenly buzzed in my hand as I received a new message.  
**  
Mom wants to know if you'll be home for dinner -E  
**_**  
I already ate, but I'll probably be there by 9 –B**__  
_  
Like the room I was sleeping in, I refused to accept anything from them as mine. I didn't want to be a burden. I yawned as a light breeze came. Though my mornings were much less stressful, my increased lack of sleep was taking its toll. Last night I had a small nightmare, making it so I only had about 3 or 4 hours of sleep. If it wasn't for the coffee I made in the morning, I'd be a functionless zombie.

In all honesty I'm just waiting them out…waiting until they got annoyed by me and let me go back to my house. It wasn't like it was horrible there, either. The little time I've spent in their house was always peaceful, I could hear their laughing and bickering and it seem like it was too good to be true. The perfect family. At 9:45 I got a phone call from Renée. It went to voicemail, before I could realize that I should probably answer it.

There was a tired, shaking sigh before the talking started.

"Izzy please. Please. Go back to the Cullen's. Esme's told me she's only seen you for about hour minutes combined since Sunday. Don't be difficult for them. Go to them and have a late dinner. I know you. You haven't eaten from the diner in forever. Everything's fine here. We've got venue along with Pastor Matt. Grandpa's being a champ. We'll be okay."  
I know you. _I know you._ I rolled my eyes. My mother didn't know me.  
_Go to them and have a late dinner, _my stomach growled loudly at the thought.

Esme was a fabulous cook, (not that I knew from experience) whenever I made it back to the Cullens, the household was always enveloped with mouthwatering aromas.

A new text message brought me from my thoughts once more. Renée.  
**  
Please go. The Cullens were kind enough to let you into their home. Don't be rude, sweetheart.**_**  
**__  
Shut up, God.  
_At 10 I finally drove up the Cullen driveway and parked. The last time I had been here it was morning at 5:43am, just like all this week. I woke up before the sun and left before Esme walked out of her room. Like yesterday when I opened the front door, the smells from the earlier dinner captured my senses.

I stepped into the threshold and shut the door quietly behind me. The inside of the house was dark but even without the light it everything seemed to pulse with warmth. Walking further in, I noticed that the light from the stove was still on. I went to go turn it off when I saw that there was a plate covered with saran wrap on stove, as I delicately pressed my finger tips to the plastic I felt that it was still hot. I gritted my teeth softly, conflicted.  
_  
Don't be difficult, don't be rude. _ I heard Renée say in my head. And I didn't want to be rude, not to Esme. With a sigh I turned off the light, and kept my gaze where I knew the plate was, as I remembered her warm hello and soft motherly hold on my hand. I took the plate and went to the table. I ate in the dark, savoring the delicious roasted potatoes, steamed broccoli and grilled salmon. Afterwards I washed my plate and went upstairs to 'my' room to start my homework. It was a quarter past 12 when I finally went to sleep and woke up at 5:10am. Story of my life.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

"Did you get home safely?" Angela asked, sitting down next to me. We were the first at the table. Rosalie and Emmett having gone back to their house for Esme's home cooked food. The rest of the Cullen's were in line getting what barely passed as food from the cafeteria. I had my granola bar and my trusty water bottle.  
After I sent the text that I had been typing I started a new message to Angela.  
_**  
I'm here aren't?**_

She laughed lightly and left it at that. I looked out the windows, watching as the rain pelted against the glass. The days have been dragging on and on. A bit awkward during class as well. The Cullen's, excluding Rosalie, were all making a harder attempt to converse with me. Though I never responded, none of them took offense, or in Emmett's words "Oh, I get it. You're a quiet girl. It's cool. It's cool. You don't like talking. Yeah me too. I hate it. Don't worry. We can still chill. It's all cool…I didn't anything Mr. Yeh! Well…yeah I'm talking but it's your fault you sat me so far away from my home girl! You know what, Izzy, we'll finish this later without an audience."

"You want my apple?" Edward said sitting down in front of me, scooting the chair closer to the table and mumbling "Sorry.", as his feet knocked into mine.

I shook my head no and settled back into my seat waiting for lunch to end. Twenty five minutes to go. Despite my refusal, he set the apple near my water bottle. I rolled my eyes but didn't respond in any way. He had gotten into the habit of trying to give me a small portion of his lunch when I didn't have enough. Alice thankfully took control of the conversations talking about some sales coming up and asking Jasper to help her with her homework tonight after dinner. Edward put his input as well but most of the time he was silent, playing with his phone.

My phone buzzed in my hand.  
**  
Eat your apple. –E  
**  
I looked up and met Edward emerald eyes filled with mirth, daring me to react.  
**_  
Not hungry. –B_  
**  
I typed without breaking eye contact with him. His gaze dropped and I knew he read my response. It made him chuckle under his breath and he shook his head infinitesimally.  
**  
Liar. –E **I read just as the bell rang. I smiled smugly as he looked up to see the apple left untouched as I stood up. Angela said her goodbye and we walked to class together, the Cullen's staying behind to talk about something.

"You seem to be getting along with the Cullen's fine." Angela said as we stopped by her locker.

I let my back fall against the cold metal lockers and shrugged.

"I'm glad. It makes me happy." She said her voice getting softer and a bit wistful.

I frowned at her tone and turned my head towards her. Without words or anything she knew what I was asking.  
_Are you okay?  
_  
She stared at me a second longer before nodding head and bursting with a smile. I kept my frown, I knew her better than that. She can pretend to be fine on the outside but we both knew that wasn't the truth on the inside. But just like with me, I wouldn't push her. She would come to me when she needed to release her troubling thoughts.  
Her giggling sounded and I refocused on her, realizing that we had started walking again.

"It's true. You are getting along with them." Her words suggested something that she didn't tell me and I started at with confusion. I got along with them…yay; whatever…did that really deserves a giggle? I think not.

I continued to stare her down as we walked into 5th period; waiting for her to further explain.

I sat down at my table, noticing briefly that Edward had yet to enter the class room.

When I was finally started to squirm under Angela happy gaze, she laughed once more turning around at the sound of the classroom door opening before turning back to me.  
"You seem to be getting along with Edward the best." She whispered her voice flippant. Immediately my body felt like it was throw into flames, with my eyes still wide from her statement I reached up to my cheek and felt it incredibly hot. My heart went to into over drive as I saw that Edward was the one who entered the class.

Angela saw I noticed and laughed loudly before walking back to her seat. I glared at her retreating form as I tried to calm down and get my heart beat back to normal. I turned back around and jumped slightly when I realized Edward had already sat down next to me and was staring intently at me…well…more specifically my face. I gulped and internally cursed my reaction as I felt my face blooming once more. I looked down at the desk, the jerk of my body bringing my hair down to cascade over my shoulder constructing a wall between us. Though I couldn't see him I heard him breathe a laugh.  
_  
I curse you Angela. I curse you. _

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Well. It seemed those days of skipping PE were coming back to bit me in the ass. Diaz the crazy sadist decided to make have a circuit day. Seven stations each five minutes long working out none stop…I thought I was going to die. I'm so serious it's not even funny. He was a cruel bastard, it started raining and we kept going. His reason as to why we didn't stop? "You're the last period! You'll go home and dry off there!"

I was still shivering violently as I tugged my sweater tighter around me. The locker lady was kind enough to turn on the showers with hot water for those who wanted…boy did I want it. But no. Showering at school was like germs waiting to attack. So I settled for taking my wet shirt and using it as a towel for my hair, though it didn't help much. As I walked out of the locker room my hair was still wet and every now and then a water droplet would slide down my back. I met up with Angela, who was waiting for the rain to calm down a bit, in the front

She saw me shivering and tackled me into a hug. I hugged her back without much thought as her warm body helped my shivering stop slightly.

"It rained on you guys? Oh Izzy." She said as she kept hugging me, "I wish I left some of my hot chocolate for you." At the words hot chocolate I stepped out of her hold. I loved hot chocolate almost as much as coffee.

Angela smirked at me reaction. "My teacher knew it would rain for sure today so she brought some Bunsen burners from the lab room and used those to heat the water."

'Lucky." I mouthed then smashed my lips together, feeling slightly disturbed from the motion of my mouth moving. I shook my head trying to dispel the feeling and focus on Angela.

"Oh! Hey look, the rain let up. C'mon before it starts again."

We walked together halfway before we parted way to our cars. When my car came into view I grabbed my keys from my bag and started to jingle them to keep my blood. I kept my gaze on the door but stopped when I noticed something on the roof.

Confusion left for amusement as I realized what it was: an apple. Taking the apple I opened the car and turned it on. As soon as the engine began purring I pulled the air heater onto blast. As I waiting in line to leave the parking lot I put my hands to the little air vents. I felt ridiculous by all my fussing over the cold weather but i didn't have much choice. All my heavier winter jackets were somewhere at my house and I didn't feel like going on a scavenger hunt. My body eventually relaxed against my seat as the hot air began to circulate within the vehicle.

I drove around town for a while, not wanting to go back to the Cullen house just yet. At a red light I went through my phone and saw I made a to-buy-list on my notes. I had about four books to buy from the list.

On an impulse to get away, I took to the direction that would lead me out of town. Thankful for the lack of patrolling officers I made it to Port Angeles within an hour and a half. Around 5pm I parked my car outside my favorite, yet extremely limited, bookstore. Hopefully my trip out of town wouldn't be for not. I yawned once and left the warm cocoon of my car and headed into the store.

As I walked, the little bell above the door rang.

"Izzy!" I heard from behind the little coffee counter direction parallel from the entrance. It was a book store with a small coffee shop connected to it.

The owner, Helen, was an old aging woman but with the energy to rival that of Alice. I waved to her and made my way to the young adult section. A few seconds later I heard the machines from the coffee shop start up and I knew Helen was going to make me something to drink. Probably chai tea since it was one thing I would always drink when I came here. It wasn't often but Helen always greeted me like I was just here yesterday not weeks ago.

I smirked to myself as I recalled her welcome just now. But I dropped the smirk as my mind betrayed me and began to make comparisons to Helen and Granny. My throat seemed to close off and I couldn't swallow the knot away. I stopped scanning the book titles, waiting for the feeling to past. I shivered as the door opened once more and gush of cold air swept through the shop. I managed to take a deep breath and shook my head continuing to read the titles. I was being ridiculous.

"Izzy." Helen dragged out as she appeared by my side, "Guess what I got behind my back?"

I forced a small smile on my face and made myself look like I was thinking. After a moment I shrugged.

Helen laughed and playfully glared, "Liar! Well here. It's nice and hot for you dear."

I took the large sized Styrofoam cup and nodded my head in a thank you. She returned the gesture and left me be. When the cup was about half empty, I had three out of the four books I wanted; so I made my way to the register.

"Did you find everything you wanted, Izzy?" Helen asked as she rang me up.  
_  
Nope.  
_  
I nodded yes. Her giant grin made lying almost worth it. My total was $58.28. I should probably stop buying books in hardcovers….but I won't. It makes me feel fancy with the hardcovers.

I waved goodbye and braced myself as I walked outside and back to my car.  
_  
I knew there was a reason I left my phone in the car. _ I thought as I checked the said phone. I had one missed call and three messages. Alice, Edward and a number I didn't recognize.  
**  
Izzy? It's Esme. I hope you don't mind but I asked Edward for your number. Please come home soon. I've made some hot chocolate. I'll save you a cup.  
**  
I saved Esme's number and stilled my thumb on the reply action. With a sigh I pressed end, clearing the screen. I dropped my phone onto the passenger seat next to my books and started the car. By the time I got back into town my hair was no longer wet, just slightly damp. I was as nervous as the first time I arrived at the Cullens as I drove up the drive way. With my backpack on my left shoulder and my bag full of book in my left hand I walked up the porch steps.

Closing my eyes I took a calming breath and inserted the key I was giving by Esme on the first day during the small tour. The Cullens talking sounded from the front door and I assumed they were all in the living room. Checking my phone for the time I realized Esme must still be cooking the dinner, which would explain why the aromas in the air were stronger then when I usually arrived.

"Izzy, is that you?" Esme called softly as she appeared. I froze as she walked into the foyer, her kind eyes meeting mine. A relieved smile graced her face and she walked a bit closer.

"You got my message?" She said her voice still in a hushed tone and I realized it was for my benefit. She knew I didn't want the rest of the Cullens to know I was back.

I nodded feeling a bit shy as her message passed through my mind. If her dinner from last night was any testament of her cooking, I couldn't begin to imagine the sure to be incredible taste of her hot chocolate.

Esme smiled once more and she motioned for me to follow her, I hesitated a second before I realized she wasn't heading to the living room but to the kitchen.

"I saved you a cup." Her voice returned to her normal tone and she let out a mysterious giggle before handing me a cup. I leaned shifting my things into a more comfortable position before reaching for the cup. It was just the right temperature; I could feel the heat emanating from the glass mug. I leaned forward, my nose to the edge of the mug as I inhaled the sweet dark fragrance of the hot chocolate.

It made my stomach growl and I ignored Esme and her polite glace back at me from her location at the stove. I took a sip of the substance and…I was in heaven. I sighed contently and shivered as the liquid warmed me from the inside. I took a larger swig and savored the taste.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked her look curious. I nodded with more enthusiasm then a cup of hot chocolate deserved but fuck it, this was Jesus in the sweetest sense of the word. It was hints of dark chocolate and an after taste of sweet coffee. It was like Esme read my mind and made this delicious concoction just for me. Hot chocolate was delicious, coffee was my life…together…it was a mouthwatering creation that deserved to be presented with the church choir singing "Hallelujah"

I stopped drinking as I realized my thoughts had turned to a ridiculous obsession and praise for the drink. I needed sleep. I was going crazy from my hectic hours and it was not good. Thankfully, or unfortunately the way I want to look at it, I had finished the mug. No more hot chocolate for me.

"Want another cup?" Esme asked having caught my melancholy stare at the mug. I looked up and could feel the impending blush that I cursed so much, crawl its way up my neck and to my cheeks.

I quickly shook my head no and motioned at my things, as an escape from the kitchen.

"Oh! I'm sorry honey, go on up ahead to your room. I'm glad you liked it." Esme said as I scurried my way through the kitchen, leaving my cup in the sink as I past and raced up to the room.

Despite the lack of florescent lights the room was dim, not dark like I had come to expect from the last few days.

I walked without trouble to the bed and dumped my things. I sneezed once as I got on my knees to get my suitcase out. Yeah, yeah I know. I've been here for what, four days and I still haven't unpacked? Well that's kind of the point. I wasn't going to get used to this situation. Fuck that, I didn't get to have a say in this (ha ha, say…I don't speak) so excuse me for trying to make my stance on the matter subtly known. After changing into some Gir pajamas I climbed into the bed and began my homework, breezing through it within an hour…which is pretty slow considering that

I only had two assignments today. Pretty soon my new books were calling out to me saying 'Read me! Read me!'

As I lined the books up in front of me, I got my iPod out of my backpack and connected it to my iHome. Pierce the Veil's beginning notes to 'The New National Anthem' began and I had to crack my fingers to try and get rid of the desire to go to Seattle and play my guitar till the sun rises. This song was possibly one of my favorites by them. The enticing, almost seductive tones of the guitar had me itching to go, but with a heavy sigh I let the rest of…everything fade away and I let myself enter into a state of obliviousness. With my iPod and book in hand, I could pretend that my life wasn't fucked up. I could pretend to be someone else. That my own life was just another story being written by a sick person. I could pretend…that I was happy.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

_What the fuck! Really! Where the hell did some wolverine just pop in. _ I glared at the book, it was a trip. The good kind. Sinclair was some ghostly golem badass. But he was up to something. I knew he was. It was so obvious. _He's such a little whore_, I thought as I flipped back good fifty something pages. I sighed feeling the first drops of sleep trickle in, bringing the heel of my hands to my eyes. My eyelids were hot and I knew I had to stop reading. Realizing this, other things were brought to my attention. For instance my entire lower body was asleep. From being hunched over for so long my back was stiff and had aches all over.

In one not so smooth motion I kicked my legs out and dropped back onto the bed, letting out a low content noise as my head rested against my pillow. Mid yawn I turned my head to my iHome and saw it was 1:32 am. I ran my tongue over my teeth as I started at the clock for a minute before deciding that I made good progress in my book. I was about two thirds into the book.

On other occasion I would have finished it the very same day I bought it, but for some reason I didn't feel comfortable being up so late within the Cullen household. Getting out of bed, I organized a few things for tomorrow. Well...later today if you wanted to be fucking technical about it. Shuddering from the bland and sort of dead taste in my mouth I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I froze once I got inside. I titled my head to the side and took a whiff at the air. After a moment of just standing in the middle of the large bathroom I shrugged and went about my business. I didn't know much about bathroom scents in the Cullen house but I did know that whatever it was in this bathroom smelled really, really good.  
As I rinsed my mouth I frowned and realized that it could have been Edward. I mean…we did, for all intents and purposes share a bathroom. With my hypothesis at the forefront of my mind I slowly went to inspect the shower. I was right.

The walls were still specked with water droplets and the scent that caught my attention was a more potent here then the rest of the bathroom. My eyes widened and I felt my cheeks flame as grasped that I was probably acting like a stalker. I shut the shower door softly and quickly went back to my room. I set my iPod to play continuously on my classical playlist before I settled into the bed. I curled up into a ball and nestled my head deeper into my pillow. I shut my eyes and waiting for sleep to come. The room was silent except for the soft piano and orchestra playing's, my breathing was slow and rhythmic; artificial.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Something was wrong. I could feel it even before I forced my eyes open. My eyes were full of sleep and felt utterly dirty, if that was possible. My chest felt tight and when I took deep breaths, my throat was scratchy. My stomach was turning as I slowly threw my legs off the bed. My head was pounding and felt like it was going to split open. In short I was feeling everything. And it sucked. I was unsteady on my feet, swaying slowly and before I knew it I had run and was on the bathroom floor dry heaving and then painfully retching out some unidentified contents.  
_  
Ugh._ I thought as I flushed the toilet. Using the counter I lifted myself up from the floor and saw my reflections. My face was unnaturally flushed and I had sweat forming around my hair line. I brushed my teeth, a painful task let me tell you when all you wanted to do was sit on the floor, curl up to yourself and just go "Ugggggh!" till the icky feelings were all gone.

I pushed off the counter and turned my head to the door to look at the bed. It looked so invited and warm. With legs that felt like they were full of lead, I trudged back into the room. I ungracefully let myself fall face first onto the bed as soon as I was within safe falling distance. I mutedly mumbled to myself as I crawled around in bed slowly, still unsure of my stomach. I dozed off for a few minutes, knowing without actually looking at the time.

I had listened to my playlist so many times I knew the songs order forward and backwards. Only two songs had passed since I last awoke. I frowned as I shifted around trying to clear my throat so I wouldn't cough. The urge to cough went away for now, but my frown kept its place. Something about my thoughts trying to break through my haze of feeling crappy, unwillingly I turned my head to my iHome.  
_  
Holy, sweet mother of- _I jerked forward. 11:32am. Today was Thursday! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. The so thought gone cough came back unexpected and it ripped through my chest, a hoarse sound emanating from me. It was loud, too loud. It reverberated within my skull, causing me to wince. I quickly, which was pretty slow actually, got out of bed and laboriously began to get ready. I could still make it to some of my afternoon classes.

I had redressed and was applying some of my rarely used body spray when I became nauseous once more. It seemed that my senses were heightened and the sweet, almost candy like smell from my body spray was just too overwhelming. I barely made it to the bathroom and I 'emptied' my already empty stomach.

I was gasping for air when I finished a few minutes later. My face felt red from the exertion of the heaves and my eyes were threatening to close. Any other day I would have gone back to bed, but I honestly felt uneasy being in the Cullen house for too long, my desire to go to school was mostly to leave this place than actually for the good of my education. I laid my head against the cold porcelain of the toilet, closing my eyes.  
_  
Just a few minutes. I'm already late. What's a few more minutes gonna do? _I thought trying to reach up to flush away the offending odor, but my hands seemed to be disconnected from my body as they stayed where they were besides my head, so I settled for breathing through my mouth.

I could feel sleep wash over me and I welcomed it gratefully. If I was asleep I wouldn't throw up again.  
At the last minute of consciousness I thought I heard a voice call out to me. The oddest sensation came over me and I felt myself wanting to answer to the shrill cry.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

My eyes fluttered opened and I'm pretty sure I made a whining noise. It took a moment to gain back my sense of direction and awareness. _I'm in the bathroom_ I thought as I slowly turned my head side to side and saw the shower. I lifted my head from, what I now saw was, the bundled up towel. It was quiet but as I began to shift around I could here a murmur from Edward's room. I shrugged to myself as I let my body sag back to the cool floor.

It felt heavenly against my cheek.

"I think she's awake now, I'll call you back in a few minutes." I heard.

"Izzy, honey, are you awake?" I looked up from my spot on the floor to Esme and nodded redundantly. A relieved smile flitted it way to her mouth and she sighed.

"You scared me. I heard something from the bathroom when I was in Edward's room getting his dirty laundry and when I open the door you're all but collapsed on the toilet." Her voice was quiet as she came further into the room. She stopped moving once she was a few feet from me, crouched down. Her hazel eyes full of worry as she stared at me, she cleared her throat and inched closer.

"May I?" she asked reaching her hand up to my forehead. I felt myself nod and I forced myself not to flinch from her touch.

"You're still a bit warm," she said continuing her evaluation by slowly running her hand down the side of my face to my cheek and then back up to my forehead, "are you allergic to any type of medicine? You have a fever." I quickly scoured my brain for anything and shook my head.

"Can you stand up, I'm sure your bed is more comfortable than the floor and a towel pillow." she joked and I gave her a small smile as she giggled at her joke. I took a deep breath to ward off any sickness for a moment and stood to my feet.

Seeing me waver slightly, Esme reached forward and gently took my elbow in her hand. We walked slowly back into the room with the comfy bed. As we pasted my desk I stopped and grabbed my English notebook and a pen. When we finally made it to the bed, I opened the notebook to a blank page and wrote:  
**  
I need to go to school.  
**  
"Honey, school should be the last thing on your mind right now. Besides you missed most of the day. 5th period started about ten minutes. You poor dear. Were you feeling ill last night?" She asked taking a seat on the edge of the bed. I couldn't lie to the undeserved motherly concern she was giving me.  
**  
No.  
**  
"Do you have any idea on how you could have gotten sick?" She questioned. I was about to shrug when my hair fell from my shoulder and jogged my memory.

**I got wet during 6****th**** yesterday. The rain. My clothes were still damp.  
**  
"You didn't take a bath when you got home?" I shook my head. I may have been sick but I didn't miss her use of 'home' and your'. I didn't want to be rude so I didn't correct her. As much as I wanted to.

"I'll be right back." She said and walked out of the room. Not knowing the exact time was annoying the hell out of me and I didn't want to keep turning to my iHome. Dragging myself from the warmth of the bed, I got my cellphone. The charging screen disappeared, left was a message. I touched view later and reopened my messaging tab. I had seven texts. Two from Alice, one from Edward and four from Angela, I sighed and knew I must have caused her to worry. I opened Angela's text first.  
**  
Oct 10****th****, 8:43 am  
Izzy are you coming to school today? Well you missed a pop quiz by the way.**

Oct 10**th****, 9:23 am  
You there? I swear Izzy if you are sleeping imma hurt you. I had the crappiest sub in 2****nd****.**

Oct 10**th,**** 10:39 am  
So you aren't replying back. Are you dead? Are you dying?**

Oct 10**th****, 11:21 am  
well its lunch time and you aren't here. So I'm assuming your dead. Okay? Okay. I get to keep all your books and I'll make sure they put your iPod in our casket. :P  
**  
I felt nauseous and it wasn't because I was going to throw up again. Well I might, actually, but it wouldn't be because I was sick. I shuddered against the image of a casket. Banishing the image a moment to late, my mind had conjured up an image of a dark casket with Granny pale and stiff inside.  
I hit the reply button.

_**You know I promised you that if I died I would tell you first. I would come back and haunt you if I couldn't finish the 'Angela, I'm dying' text. And I'm not dying (obviously) I just overslept and stayed in bed. Sorry. –B**_. I hit send and then opened Alice's texts next.  
**  
Oct 10****th****, 10:54 am  
Hey Izzy? Are you at school? Jasper and Rose said that they haven't seen you all day. Txt me back, okay?**

Oct 10**th****, 11:32 am  
I still haven't seen you. Angela said that it was normal for you to disappear but she looks a little worried as well so that's not helping. Txt back please.  
**  
I frowned, not liking to cause Alice worry. Just like Esme it seemed that only happiness and joy could be their natural state of being and taking that from them was a horrid thing to do.  
**  
_I'm fine. Sorry my phone was on silent. -B_  
**  
I didn't give her much to work with but at least she knew I was okay. Well in the general sense of the word, feeling like I was gonna puke my brains out and then have my head split open… yeah I wouldn't classify that as 'okay' or 'fine'.  
**  
Oct 10****th**** 1:02 pm  
Hope you're good – E  
**  
I felt a blush appear on my cheeks as I read the words over. They were simply words but it caused things to bubble in me. I glared at myself and shook my head. I took a silent breath and replied  
**  
_I'm fine. –B_  
**  
"Izzy?" Esme's voice suddenly sounded and I jumped, dropping my phone, feeling like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar even though I knew I didn't do anything wrong.  
I wince as my phone fell on my foot and bent down to reach it.

I turned around and saw Esme with a dinner tray in her hand at the doors threshold.

"Are you okay? Did you get sick again?" She said as I sat back on the bed. She walked forward, her head tilted as she stared at me. I squirmed under her gaze and looked down at the comforter. Remembering that she asked a question I quickly look back up and shook my head before dropping my head, embarrassed. She played the tray on the night stand next to the bed and motioned  
for me to come closer. Not wanting to be difficult with Esme I did as I was told.

"You look a little redder, are you feeling worse?" She asked concerned. My eyes widened as I realized that I still had Edwards blush on my face, which only led to another rose color tinting my cheek. Esme's eyes widen as well as she noticed my face grow pinker. She let out a soft breath of a twitter.

"I made some soup this morning, since it was going to be rainy once more. I have great timing don't I?" Esme said her eyes twinkling. I nodded with a smile. She handed me a small red pill,

"Tylenol. Carlisle said it should help a bit with your sore muscles." I took it from her and popped it in my mouth, chasing it down with water soon after.

"I already called the school to excuse you without being truant. So all you need to focus on is getting better. The kids will be here in another hour and a half or so. I'll be downstairs, and I'll have my phone on me if you need anything else." She said with a gentle look on her face. She moved without me seeing as I stared at the chicken noodle soup. I started when I felt her hand stroke my face, I blinked up at her.

"I hope you feel better." She whispered before leaving the room. When I heard her footsteps disappear I reached up to place my hand where hers previously was. That woman just oozed motherly love. And she was a natural. I felt an ache in my chest as I tried to remember a time when my own mother did something as natural as a mother should… like Esme had just done, but couldn't find anything. Her pitiful kisses on my forehead always felt forced and stiff. I shook my head. _This stupid fever is making me all emotional.  
_  
I waited for the soup to cool down a bit before I began to eat. It felt wonderful going down. It warmed my throat and body. It tasted amazing, as I expected. I devoured the soup like a hungry homeless man in what should be a fucking Olympic record.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

I'm being greedy. With intervals of sleep I found myself sleeping the day away. When I was awake I wouldn't move, staying as still and relaxed as possible to bring sleep again. I wasn't stupid. This was a once in a long ass time I was going to get peaceful sleep for a while. It was brewing underneath the sleep. But I didn't care it was the most sleep I've gotten in a while and I could feel myself getting better.

Around five Esme came back and told me that she's requested for the kids to leave me along for the day so I can get better faster. She left the room once more with another bowl of her chicken soup. When I was done I placed it back where the other plate had been on the nightstand. An hour later Carlisle arrived from work and came up to see me. He was still in doctor mode, as he took my temperature, and pulse.

He sat down and explained to me the most likely reasons as to my sudden illness. Staying out with my clothing wet was the winner. At his recommendation and persistence he made me promise 'to stay home tomorrow' if I wasn't feeling well or not rested. My body would still be vulnerable and he wasn't going to let me risk getting worse just for a day to school. He gave me a low dose of some sleeping pill and left, taking the empty second bowl away. In a few minutes I felt the effects of the drug taking over and I fell into a deep sleep.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

I closed the front door, an excited smile forming as I expelled the breath I was holding. It was Friday. Getting sick on Thursday fucking sucked and not going to school today was leaving me a bit stir crazy. I ended up not going to school today when Renée (knowing I wouldn't answer after 3 ignored calls), had called Esme on Thursday. She forced me to stay in bed and Esme was right behind her on the notion.

I sighed, annoyed at Renée but slightly grateful towards Esme, as unfair as that sounded, because she was a sweet bystander trapped in this situation. When the kids got back after school Alice came up and…helpfully… gave me a stack of homework from the day that I had missed school. Like hell I was going to finish that in one day. Thankfully I had a few more to complete it.

This morning Esme came up and felt my forehead. She claimed that I still had a bit of a fever and told me she wanted me to stay 'home'. I had raised an eye brow at her obvious lie. I was feeling just fine. She simply smiled and said she'd call the school before leaving me be. I stayed in bed for a few minutes before I thought fuck it and started getting ready for school anyway. When I was tying my left shoe, Esme walked in with a light breakfast.

"Oh good you're up." She said with another warm smile. I nodded awkwardly, standing up and going to the little jewelry box that had originally been empty but now was full with my hair things. As  
I went to the bathroom to comb my hair into a pony tail, I saw from the corner of my eyes Esme put down the food tray and walk into the bathroom as well. She stared at me through the mirror.

Do you really want to go? To school I mean." She asked. My brows furrowed from the way she worded her sentence but then realized…she knew. She knew I didn't want to be here. She knew I wasn't accepting anything wholeheartedly. She knew I wanted to go back to my 'home'. Immediately a surge of shame washed through me and I ducked my head staring at the counter, my hands dropping from the hold on my hair, letting it cascade down my shoulder to thankfully cover my face from her view.

"It'd be fine if you didn't want to. It'd be a pleasure to have you around the house for another day," Her voice was soft. Again her words having another meaning, leaving me stunned. I sighed just barely audible. And turned to her, hoping I didn't see anything in her eyes that would make me feel even more like crap.

I didn't. Understanding, and patience were swirling with each other in her hazel eyes.

'I'd stay here…if that's okay.' I mouthed slowly. She brilliantly smiled in return and said "That's good." Only _she_ didn't realize that I only meant for not going to school…either that or she just refused to read into it.

She left me alone after that, telling me to eat my breakfast and come down when I was ready. Forcing myself to eat the food, I carried the tray down into the kitchen. I was washing the plates distractedly, my eyes continuously moving to the window before I decided to explore the Cullens backyard.

There was a layer of frost melting on the grass, the quiet silence disturbed by the crunching of my shoes. There was a small flower bed, surprisingly full of rose buds. Evidently not even the cold could keep Esmes' green thumb away. The breeze was refreshing and biting against my cheeks.

I walked further into the field, edging along the trees, not trusting my lack of natural GPS to keep me safe inside the thick growth. Running my fingers against the cool metal of the bench, I sat down. I tucked my knees to my chest staring at the vast greenery, letting my mind go free.

The sun slowly climbed through the sky and at some point I thought Esme would have come looking for me but she didn't, obviously not trying to over step my silent boundaries. Well it was that or she didn't know where I was but I doubted that. Without moving my position I slipped my hand into my pocket, bringing out my iPod. Soon I had the soothing sound of my classical playlist on as background music. Progressively the frost melted and the woodland creatures came out. Bird chirping sounded and if I looked carefully enough I could see the hints of wild furry animals on the borders of the trees.

Eventually I heard cars against the gravel in the front yard and knew my quiet time was over. I stretched my legs out and made my way back inside, hoping that I wasn't seen.  
Luck wasn't on my side.

"Izzy!" Emmett yelled dropping his bag with a thump as he entered the house. Mentally cursing myself for being so slow, I turned around and got off the steps, knowing that if Emmett started talking to you, you were going to be there for a while.

"Hi, Izzy!" Alice said, roughly pushing Emmett's form from the doorway.

"Are you feeling better?" Emmett asked grabbing Alice and pulling her back to him. He whispered something in her ear, getting a wide smile from her in reply. Alice with a mischievous grin to me disappeared from the room. I was tempted to lie, nodded my head, yes, nonetheless.

Rubbing his hands together he grinned and pulled me outside. My eyes widened in slight fear as he dragged me out. I stumbled slightly and saw that the rest of the Cullen kids were congregated outside.

"She's on my team!" Emmett yelled, I winced at the unexpected loudness in my ear and frowned. I was on his team… for what?

Footsteps from the inside made me turn and I saw Alice coming out with something in her hands. I briefly noticed that she had changed from her skirt to comfortable looking jeans; I turned to Rosalie and noticed that she too was wearing jeans, not her usual skinny jeans either. More for use then actual show, I slowly connected the dots, figuring it out when I saw that the thing in Alice's hands was actually a sports ball. Further inspection I realized with chagrin that it was a football.  
_  
She's on my team. _My mouth dropped open as I realized that he meant I was going to be playing. I snapped my head to Emmett and started shaking my head in the negative. He saw and started nodding in the positive. We continued that for a few seconds before I broke away and started walking back in the house. He caught up to me in a few steps, _cheater. You have long ass legs. _He gently grabbed my hoodie and motioned for me to get closer.

"C'mon Izzy. It'll be fun. Besides with you here, the teams will be even." Emmett whispered his grin never faltering. I grimaced and eyed the football in distain. He laughed enthusiastically and said, "We took bets earlier today during lunch. Alice, me and you against Rose, Jasper, and Eddie. One hundred each and then split between members. Besides, Rose and Eddie said that you wouldn't play and I wanna beat them wrong. Please!" he began to flutter his eyelashes at me and he pouted, when he saw my resolve wasn't shaking he began to whimper like a dog.

"Please Izzy?" Alice came up and began coping Emmett. I sighed silently, trying not to laugh and nodded my head slowly. _What the fuck, sure why not? If I break a leg then I'll be excuse from PE and no more games with them.  
_  
I flinched once more when Alice squealed. She grabbed me as the others began to make their way to the side of the house. I learned earlier on my exploration that the backyard was connected to the front yard with a good amount of space between the side of the house and the barrier of trees. Obviously enough space for us to play football.

Emmett asked me if I knew anything about football and I shook my head. Well actually I signed with my fingers that I knew squat and Alice translated. (Totally ignored Mr. Diaz when he was explaining the game a few days ago.) He spent a few minutes going over the basic rules and going over some game plans. I leaned to view over his shoulder and saw the others doing the same thing.

They huddled together and I saw that Rosalie was the leader. She was using her hands to demonstrate something. I turned back to Emmett when he said that at some point he'd yell out a code word for me to know to get free from the others so he could throw me the ball. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't getting the tiniest bit excited for the game. Oh and nervous. I didn't want to play but at the same time I didn't want to disappoint Emmett and Alice.

"Alright so the code word will be love muffin." Emmett said with a serious face. He nodded his head to us and after a look to Alice, we both nodded back.

"Alright! Break!" he yelled and we went to our respective positions. As I was walking to the left of the makeshift field I saw Esme stand on the porch, watering some of her flowers occasionally look at us with a content look on her face.

I got in place, my heart pounding as I realized that Edward was right in front of me. He caught me staring at him and smirked, wearing a look on his face that pretty much read "you are going down.' All too soon Emmett started the game and we set into motion.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

I huffed as I almost tripped again, Edward laughing as he stood behind me. I shot him a dirty look. We were currently in a tie and it was the last down…I think. I don't know, I forget Emmett's' explanations halfway through. Anyway we were in a tie; 2 to 2.

Each team having gotten a touchdown when they used some distraction tactics. Rosalie saying something naughty in Emmett's ear and Alice jumping on Jaspers back and then the boys just are good at the game.

The girls were also good at the game, just not as abrasive as the boys. All during the game Edward had been some where around me, even going to intercept the ball Alice threw at me. _Jerk._ I caught Emmett's eye as he was running away from Rosalie, who was right on his heels. I stepped a few feet forward, away from Edward. The look on Emmett's face was obvious that he was going to call out the code word, I needed to be open. I took a few more steps, never hearing Edward follow. I took the chance to look back at him and saw that he was staring at me and Alice alternatively. Alice too was inching away from Jasper. A few more steps away.

Emmett had his eyes secretly on me and he subtly nodded when he saw I was far enough away from Edward.

"Love Muffin!" Emmett yelled stopping his run and whipping his arm back and snapping it forward. The ball left his hand gracefully and it spiraled towards me in perfect aim. I took another step in its direction and caught it. _I caught the ball!_ I looked at Emmett and Alice, both yelling "Run!" the same time I heard Edward start running behind me.

So I did as told, praying I didn't trip. I took long gaits knowing that Edward was catching up; I could hear his steps getting louder. His face from the beginning of the game popping up in my mind and spurring me on, the anger I felt at his apparent confidence in my loss, making me take faster strides. I passed Alice who was cheering me on, while holding Jasper away.

"Bella!" Edward said his voice nearing in a sing-song tone. I looked behind me and saw that he was further then I expected. Then I noticed the mud in his leg and satisfied look on Alice's face. _She tripped him._ I thought as a giggle trying to escape.

I turned my attention back to in front of me and to my right saw that Emmett was cutting across the field towards me while yelling "Woooooo!" I pumped my legs faster looking behind me once more and noticing Edward was almost in reaching distance. I couldn't help it; I was having so much fun. I let out a shriek mixed with laughter as he got closer. Then suddenly my feet were off the ground and I was thrown over a shoulder, I saw the shoes and knew it was Emmett.

I was still laughing keeping the ball away from Edwards grabbing hands as he was just a few feet from us. His green eyes were bright and his cheeks were tinted with a rosy color, his breathing coming in huffs but he still kept running. My hair was scattered around my face and the smile on my face was causing my cheeks to begin to ache but it never faltered. Emmett hollered once more and in one smooth motion grabbed my hips and threw me up, causing another laughing shriek from me as I sailed up in the air and landed back into Emmett's arms. My ribs were beginning to hurt from my laughter and I was at a loss for breath.

"We won!" Emmett yelled crushing me to him and twisting us side to side.

"Uff." Emmett grunted as we stumbled forward. I felt the wet mushy mud seep into my shirt and it was quiet for a second before I lifted my head from the ground and saw both Edward and Emmett on their stomachs, their faces in the mud. I looked back at to where the rest of them were and saw that they were all trying to hold in their laughter. It was when Emmett lifted his head and spit out a mouth full of mud that my shocked wore off and I began to laugh once more. Pretty soon we were all a laughing mess.

"Rosie, come give papa a hug!" Emmett said as he stalked towards her. The football game soon forgotten. I noticed Edward was still on the ground so with the end of my shoe I tapped his head.

The smile on his face, muddy or not, left me as breathless as the laughing did.

"You won only because I let you" He said the signs of a smirk beginning. I narrowed my eyes, _what a liar!_ Feeling lighter than I had been in a while I didn't think twice before I had the tip of my shoe in the mud and flinging it onto his face.

It slowly trailed down his cheek before falling back down to the ground with a _glop_, his emerald eyes playful as he wiggled in the mud some more. I pinched my eyebrows trying to figure out what he was doing and as he began to rise on to his knees I realized what it was. Another foreign grin made its way to my face as I scrambled backwards before getting to my feet and running away from Edward.

I heard his laughter before I heard his running footsteps and without Emmett to save me again I knew it was only a matter of time before he caught up to me. Strong arms encircled around my waist bringing me to flush against their owner, his hearty laugh ringing in my ears. The same arms managed to turn my body around and soon I was chest to chest with Edward, both of us laughing.

He dropped his head to my shoulder and started rubbing it back and forth. A mighty blush exploded as I felt his warm breath against the hollow of my neck.

"Ha," he said stepping back and giving me a glance from head to toe after a moment. "Now we're both dirty. Well, you're dirtier actually."

I glared at him and looked own to see he was right. My sweater was covered in drying mud and remembering just a minute ago my back as well. I looked down and saw a patch of mud right behind him, _if I pushed him hard enough he'll fall. _ I thought, my feet in motion even before I even finished the actual thought. As expected his body gave way to my unexpected attack and he was falling, but Edward apparently deciding that if he was going down he was going to take me with him.

"Fuck" He whispered after a moment. I tired to get up but he held me close, not letting me move even though I had pretty much fell on him as we landed.

My head was on his chest and I looked up to see him smiling albeit in pain. I wanted to start laughing again from the situation but the look in his eyes stopped me. My mouth dried out the laughter that been climbing up and left me feeling hypnotized by his gaze. Unconsciously I tensed up as one of his hands trailed up my back and around my neck, sending shivers up and down my spine while doing so, to cup my cheek in his hand. His thumb gently caressed the apple of my cheek and I knew for a fact that I didn't have marker on me this time…unless it was now mud. Either way I leaned into his touch automatically, partially closing my eyes. A soothing effect casting over me.

"Beautiful." He muttered almost to himself, but I heard it, causing color to sprinkle rapidly to my cheeks.

He smirked, pleased by the reaction and opened his mouth when Esme's voice sounded,

"Kids! Its time for lunch." I tore my eyes from Edwards just in time to see Emmett 'Wooooo' once more and pull a slightly muddy Rosalie along with him. I stared at her face as it pasted by. She had a putout look but her eyes were soft, despite her rough, and cuntish, attitude anyone could tell that she loved Emmett. A pull on the end on my hair brought me back to Edward who was wearing an amused look.

"You wanna get off me anytime soon? I mean I don't mind or anything but I am hungry." He teased. My mouth dropped to an 'o' and I jumped away from him, glaring.

He laughed and stopped, using him hands to dust himself off, but it only ended up in smearing the mud even more.

"Emmett, you're tracking mud in the house!" Esme said as everyone walked into the foyer. Emmett was wearing his ever present grin, not at all bothered by the pissed off look Esme was sending his way. I frowned, feeling a memory creep up and without another thought of my actions; I began to close the bridge that the Cullens had ripped open from the football game.

I shed off my sweater, and shoes, socks included, and quickly made my way up the stairs, the offending dirty articles in my arms, all the while feeling the stares of everyone on my retreating back.

* * *

**Well! there ya have it! o.O did you guys like?  
Oh and the book she was reading was Swoon by Nina Malkin  
:) its so surreal, i've had that foot ball scene in my head for the longest of times. and now its actually in the story! 3  
once more **

**i hoped you liked liked it! i will possibly be putting another chapter to I'm Mute tag along story (have no idea what they're called but i'm saying tag along!) with all the outtakes and extras. maybe even an Esme chapter which i've been thinking about this week a lot actually. anyway it'll probably have the football scene with some added information and different parts to it. **

**i happened to write the scene in this chapter first before i realized i had a different result for it in my head, but didn't feel like changing it. :D either way edward hugged her and got her dirty. :P  
**

**Review please!  
**

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o. (That's so much fun to type.)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Well hello everybody! this is the 16th installment of our lovely story I'm Mute.**  
**please enjoy. **

**AND! this chapter contains two point of views. :D**

* * *

**Esme P.O.V**

Emmett was blessed with a loud voice, while a blessing for him; it is usually more of a curse for the rest of the household. However, I had to silently thank God for gifting my son with such a rambunctious voice as I left the kitchen and went to stand in awe in the far side window in the living room.

It gave the perfect view of the side of the house where the all the kids have begun to play football. And when I say all, I mean all. On one side of the make-shift field were Edward, Rosalie and Jasper, meanwhile Alice, Emmett and _Izzy_ took stand on the other.

A smile formed as I saw them begin playing, and it didn't escape my attention the playful look Edward, who was going to be covering her, sent to Izzy. _Leave it to Emmett to bring her out of her room._

I chuckled as it became clear that football was not Izzy's forte. Or running for that matter.  
"What are you giggling about?" Carlisle whispered, causing me to jump slightly. I turned as his arms wrapped around my waist and softly swatted his arm.  
"You scared me!" I said looking at his lovely crystalline blue eyes. He bent his head down and kissed me fully on the lips in a chaste motion before replying.  
"I apologize. Now really, why were you giggling?"

I rolled my eyes and motions for him to look out the window. He looked unimpressed by the scene. The kids playing sports after school nothing new to him, but my smirk was rightfully in place as I saw his eyes widen when he took count of the number of players.

"She's playing." He stated, kissing my temple and taking a step closer to the window. He was probably going to analyze her.

"She is." I replied, squeezing his arm and leaving him in the living room. I went back to the kitchen and finished the casserole I had been preparing. When I placed it in the oven I decided on a whim to make some cookies.

In a jiffy I had two dozen cookies on baking sheets and waiting for the second oven to heat up to three hundred sixty degrees. I was listening carefully to the outside noises when my inquisitive side took over and my devious side helped. After filling my watering pot, I was outside on the porch making my rounds of gently watering the flowers. Ever so often I would let my eyes stray to the game.

My back was turned, my attention on some hydrangeas when suddenly I heard Emmett yell "Love Muffin!" I turned back to the field just in time to see Izzy catch the football and get told by both Emmett and Alice to run. And amazingly, she did so without falling.

I was grinning ear to ear when I saw her expression. It was open, oh so open and carefree. She was smiling and her face was flushed with her running and I almost froze in shock as I heard her laughter. I've heard her singing and it left me wondering how her real voice was. But I never imagined hearing her laughter.

_It suits her_ I thought as I watched her run down the field Edward, obviously, tailing her gaining the distance between them rapidly. I watched enraptured as both started running in sync in just a few second, though I doubted they realized it had happened. My hand rose to my mouth to stifle the giggle that bubbled up when I saw that Alice had casually stuck her foot out while clutching Jaspers arm. Edward tripped landing on one of his knees but got up quickly not letting Alice's diversion distract him from his goal.

"Bella!" Edward taunted impishly, I briefly wondered about the name he referred Izzy to. Her laughter which just showcased the fun she was having sounded loudly across the field and I wondered if Carlisle was going to have a heart attack at hearing her laughter, remembering that he once had mentioned that she was and tried to be silent in many ways, not just her voice. Whether knocking on a door, or walking somewhere.

I focused once more as I had heard Emmett "Woooooo!" and literally swept Izzy off her feet and threw her over his shoulder, never once faltering in his momentum. I could see Edward reaching forward to try and take the football from Izzy, but not being able to grab ahold of the ball.

Her breathtaking laughter sounded once more, a mix with a playful scream and laugh. It was obvious when Emmett passed the goal when he threw up Izzy in the air, causing me to wince for her safety, and eliciting yet another laugh, this one a bit more breathless then the previous.

I turned to the rest of the kids and tried to warn Emmett but I couldn't speak fast enough and I watching in amusement as Edward, unable to stop completely due to the mud, slammed into Emmett's back causing him to propel forward and slip.

All three fell to the ground and it was complete silence before, shockingly, Izzy broke the silence laughing hysterically and everyone erupted in laughter as well. My heart warmed tremendously as I felt that maybe, just maybe this could be a turning point for her.

It didn't take much more than mothers intuition to realize, as hard as I've tried, that Izzy did not want to be in our home. I thought back to this last week, as I walked back inside to give the kids some privacy for a moment and to check on the cookies.

This entire week she had managed to dodge the family. She would be gone before I went down to the kitchen to begin breakfast, and I questioned more than once just how early she was getting up to manage to deflect us. She knew I knew as well.

I made it somewhat clear this morning in the bathroom. It had pained me so much, to see the obvious disappoint cause her body to slump forward. It took everything in me not to reach forward and just wrap her into my arms, promise to help her and protect her.

The only thing that had stopped was me, her obvious distaste for hugs and the fact that I didn't like being a liar. I couldn't promise her those things when I had no idea what I was trying to protect her from. I made it into the kitchen and rinsed out the water pot, trying to swallow the sudden knot in my throat as I speculated on what could have happened to have caused such a lovely girl to close off her words.

Rosalie's words from the vote day ran through my mind but I believed wholeheartedly that it wasn't just a small little rebellious phase Izzy was going through. Tears pricked at my eyes as I ashamedly wondered if something….bad… had happened in the Swan home in the past few years, the possibilities were endless but I repelled the thought. I've heard Renée's and Charlie's frustration and desperation with my own ears, when it came to their daughter and an ill feeling in the pit of my stomach turned violently. I felt horrible for thinking such things.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle whispered in my ear hugging me to him. I relished in his hold, feeling the love I felt for him calm me down and soothe me. _What would I do without him? _ I thought wrapping my arms around his neck, my head on his shoulder. I placed a kiss on his chest, right over his heart.  
"Just a bit overwhelmed from my thoughts, that's all." I whispered, reaching up to pull his head down to me. I placed a sweet kiss on his lips,

"I'll tell you later, Lunch is done."  
He stared at me a moment longer, gazing into my eyes. I smiled at his palpable worry for me.  
"I'm fine, really."

He kissed me once more, humming against my lips, causing a giggle from me from the ticklish sensation.  
I looked down and noticed he was still in his work clothes.

"Go upstairs and freshen up. I'll go get the kids."  
"Alright." He said leaving the kitchen.

Once alone I opened the oven and took out the casserole, placing it on the countertop.  
I checked if the cookies where cooled and transferred them from the cooling rack to a Tupperware container.

"Kids! It's time for lunch!" I called out from the porch, taking a double take as I saw Izzy and Edward both on the floor, unable to see their faces since Izzy's long hair veiled them from the world.

I chuckled as a moment later Izzy jumped away from Edward, as if he burned her, and glared at him. Narrowing my own eyes, I closely watched Edwards's expression.

His eyes were soft, yet full of merriment. _I have never seen that look from him._I thought as he got up from the ground and smeared the mud around. Finally able to look at both of the kids expressions I noticed that Izzy had a faint tint along her cheeks, Edwards eyes seemingly trained to the very color.

I walked back into the house, making my way back into the kitchen when I remembered that there was mud covering most of the kids. My mouth opened in shock as I saw that Emmett not only forgot to take off his shoes but thought it'd be fun to drag his feet along floor. Any other time I would just laughed it off, knowing Emmett was probably just in some sort of role playing internal game of his. But I had just polished the floors this morning!

"Emmett, you're tracking mud in the house!" I cried out without a thought.  
Emmett jumped at my sudden raised voice. He stopped dragging his feet and lifted his hand to awkwardly scratch the back of his next.  
"Sorry, Ma." He mumbled.

I opened my mouth to say something more when Izzy abruptly walked pasted Emmett and me. In her arms was her sweater, and shoes, _her socks as well_I thought as I noticed that her feet were bare as she climbed up the stairs.

The sudden disappearance from her was like an invisible door being slammed closed. Guilt perforated me and I looked back to see that everyone else was too looking at her retreating back. Sighing I said, "I'm sorry for yelling Emmett. But please do be careful next, Honey. Why don't you all follow Izzy's example and take your shoes off as well please. And while you're at it, go upstairs and wash up. Lunch will be served in about ten minutes. So chop, chop"

"Yes mom." Sounded out and they all began to strip their feet. As I walked away from them, I heard Edward whisper "Just leave her alone for a while, Alice."  
_I'll have to keep my eyes on them,_ I think, humming to myself while I set my table.

**Edward P.O.V**

So, I was a hypocrite. Yeah whatever, sue me. I knew even before I told Alice to leave Bella alone, I was going to go talk to her anyway. I looked around in my closet, as I waited for Bella to get out of the shower.

Deciding to go with some black basketball shorts and one of my old plain grey long sleeves, I threw them on my bed.  
Soon I heard the water shut off, and I found myself tilting my head towards the door. I wasn't a pervert. I didn't get off listening to girls in the shower. That's gross.

But from time to time I usually found it hard to believe that she was always silent. I mean, it was possible that she was silent with the world but used her voice when she was alone.  
The sudden thoughts of her voice made me smile and I shook my head, chuckling at myself.

I wasn't blind. I wasn't oblivious. I knew I had some sort of feelings for Bella. I've only known her for a short while but I couldn't help but think that something about her drew me in.

_Her blush probably,_ I thought as I walked around my room looking for my towel. When I was done with it I usually threw it somewhere, saying out loud that I'd pick it up later…never did though. Anyway I blamed my attraction to Bella on the hormones.

The bathroom smelled strongly of strawberries, a scent I've come to know this past week as her own.

I turned the water on, not having to wait longer then a minute for the water to heat up.  
Throughout the shower I was shocked to see just how much mud was in my hair and floor, the poor floor. _I'll clean it later_

\('o')/ \('O')/\('o')/

She was in her room; it was the most obvious place for her to be. Besides the tour that mom gave her, I don't think she's been around the house since then. From outside her door I could hear her iPod playing. This wasn't odd. It was suffice to say that her iPod was a staple object in her life. Like me, I doubt she would live without some sort of music in her life.

I raised my hand and knocked twice.  
Green met deep brown.

"Hey." I said once she looked around to see if I was alone.  
She waved hello hesitantly.

"Well, c'mon." I said vaguely cocking my head over to the stairs.  
Confusion dominated her face and I smiled internally. Making a reach for her hand I continued, "It's time for lunch."

Like a viper she moved from my reach, and I saw that she was guarded. She shoved her hand in her hoodies front pocket and got out her cell phone  
**  
I'm not hungry  
**  
I stared at her evenly, somehow knowing that she was lying. It was like during the lunch at school. (Yeah, we have two lunches, but considering that the school food shouldn't even be considered food…) She may be hungry but she wouldn't eat until she was full. I seriously doubt that her never failing granola bar and water bottle would be enough.

I guess what would explain why she was so skinny, well not skinny scary skinny but like thin healthy skinny  
"Bullshit, let's go down." I said taking a small step forward trying to get hand once more. Her reaction was the same but instead of the confusion there was anger.

**No. I'm fine.**

I sighed I didn't want to make her mad. However funny it may be.  
"Look, I don't want to make you mad, but we both know that you're hungry."

She blinked at me.

"I don't know if you noticed but you had fun during the football game. You laughed, it wasn't horrible. So…don't close yourself off. We all enjoyed your company." I smirked, "Even though I now owe Emmett some cash, I wouldn't mind if you came down and ate lunch with us."

I could see her wavering and I made a show of looking in her room, it was spotless, not much to go on for her personality.

"It has to be a better experience than listening to your iPod and reading."

She was hesitating again, her eyes on me. Making no sudden movements I reached forward once more and even slower reached for her hand. I gently grabbed a hold of her small, cold hand and pulled her away from her door.

I smiled at her, "Let's go see Emmett drool."

She smiled back and crinkled her nose from the mental image.

I laughed, "I know."

We were quiet as we made our way downstairs and I couldn't help running my thumb across her skin, trying to warm her hand up. Even before we made it down to the first floor, Emmett's laughter could be heard, along with some comment from Jasper.

Bella suddenly stopped right before we rounded the corner into the kitchen and I looked back to see her pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. I frowned and pulled her off to the side. Her eyes were on me and she looked apologetic.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, trying not to get distracted by her strawberry scent, which was intoxicating the air around me.

I felt a small pressure on my hand from her own squeeze.

She looked younger than she was, uncertain and nervous.

She opened her mouth to reply but obviously couldn't get her words to form and ended up just shrugging before looking down at the floor. She tried to extract her hand from mine, but I didn't let go. With my defiance she looked back up at me and I tugged her closer, realizing why she was acting like this.

"You don't have to be nervous." I whispered "Its just lunch, nothing new…nothing new."

"Edward?" I jumped and turned around, hiding Bella from view.

"Hey, Mom." I said once more feeling the tug at my hand but I countered with a tug of my own.  
"Is everything okay?" Esme did that thing with her voice, it was like reverse psychology personified. She made her voice sound unsure and questioning but the expression on her face made you believe that she was just playing you. That she knew that you knew something that you should probably tell her. It was probably a mom thing.

I jumped slightly when I felt Bella's hand on my forearm. Having rolled up the sleeves of my shirt to my elbows left it bare and her touch was like a fire being spread against my skin.

A slow humming vibration started but just as quickly as it began it stopped once she pulled away and stepped beside me. The shock was still in my system and left my hand lucid, which was enough for her to pull her hand away.

"Hello, Izzy." Esme said and I forced myself to keep in my grimace. The childish side of me thinking _her name is Bella! Not Izzy.  
_There was a pregnant pause, none of us really knowing what to say. But like everything else that was thrown at Esme, she dealt with it with ease and elegance.

"Would you like to join us for lunch, Izzy?" Her voice was soft and loving,

I turned my head to see Bella nodded hesitantly, her bottom lip still trapped in her mouth.

"Let's go." Esme gestured for me to walk forward, placing a caring hand on my shoulder as I passed. I heard Bella's low footsteps behind me.

"Hey Edward! Hey Izzy!" Alice clearly inherited Esme's go with the flow attitude.

"Hey." I said taking the seat next to Alice, seeing that everyone was eating casserole. I looked in front of me and saw that the place mat already had a plate, just like mine. Bella sat down, shyly waving at Emmett and Alice. Esme met my eyes and mouthed, 'Thank you'. I stared back curiously and with her eyes she made a swoop around the people at the table. Her hazel eyes' shining with joy and it was like her thoughts were being displayed on her forehead.  
_Thank you for filling up the table._

\('o')/ \('O')/\('o')/

We were eating some chocolate chip cookies when dad cleared his voice.  
"Izzy."

Though he didn't call any of our names, we all on instinct looked up as well and paid attention.

Bella slowly looked up from her plate of cookies. Her face said what she wouldn't.

Am I in trouble?

Dad smiled, trying to ease her nerves,  
"Today is Friday."

Her face like the ever open book that it was displayed her emotions. Confusion, annoyance, realization.

Her mouth formed a small 'o' and her eyes started to wander away, towards the stairs.

"Oh, no. its fine. I don't want you to sing. You were sick these past few days and with all the stress with the stomach acid on your throat. I think if you sing now, I'll wrongly diagnose you. So we'll wait a few days…or would you rather just add the songs to next Friday?"

She thought about it for a few seconds before raising her hand and lifting one finger up. I frowned not understanding the notion, but then realized she meant option one.

Another smile, "Okay then." And with that we all resumed our mingling chatter.  
"Emmett, it's your turn to load the dishwasher, remember?" Mom said, when she overheard Emmett and Jasper arguing about it. I had clearing the table this week.

"Aw," Emmett said around a mouthful of cookie.

"Izzy sweetheart would you like to help me with cleaning the larger pot and pans?" mom smiled down at her. After a moment or two, Bella affirmed in the positive.

"Great, want to start now? That way we won't be in Emmetts way?"

Another nod and then mom and Bella where off to the kitchen.

"Hey. Hey Edward? Want to load the dishwasher? I'll pay you." I smirked, it was just like Emmett to try and pass his chore of to someone else with a bribe of money.

"No way. It's your turn."

He pouted, "Man, I thought we were brothers."

I laughed when Rosalie smacked him across the back of his head.

"Emmett, shut up. You're going to do it, it's your job."  
"Okay, Rosie. No need to be so rough. We can save that for in the bedroom." There was more then one red face at the table. With an awkward cough, dad rose from his chair.

"I'll just be in my study now."

Rosalie was fuming, glaring at Emmett while causally drumming her long nails on the table.

"Really Emmett. In front of dad? "

"Well…He knows we have sex Rosie!"

"Yeah, well. You're wrong. You ain't getting any for month. C'mon Alice." Rosalie pulled a giggling Alice away from the table and to the stairs.  
Jasper and I both shared a looked before looking at Emmett, shaking our head.

"Shut up! I'll wear her down. She can't resist these guns!" He shouted, jumping out if his chair and flexing his arms. I looked away, holding in my laughter.

"Yeah, whatever, Schwarzenegger. Are you guys done yet? I want to take these plates away."

Emmett looked down at all the plates, before leisurely walking over to Bella's plate and snatching about five cookies. Stuffing two in his mouth, he gave me a thumbs up.

"You are so weird Emmett."

"Bitch, please. I'm fabulous!" He stated snapping his fingers.

"Jasper! Let's go play." Emmett continued after swallowing the cookies.

"But what about the dishwasher?" Jasper wondered out loud.

Emmett's brilliant response was "Shh!"

"Later Ed." Jasper said following Emmett to the living room. I rolled my eyes, muttering "Losers."

I piled the dirty dishes and walked carefully to the kitchen. I heard mom talking to Bella as I opened the door with my back.

"Thank you for joining us Izzy." a pause, probably Bella answering, "You're welcome to eat with us anytime. I want this to be your home as well." I could hear the smile on moms face.

"Hey Bella do you want another tour? I mean you're always in your room. And you probably haven't been to moms' library." She jumped, having not heard my entrance.

My words struck to mom, "You haven't? Oh how rude of me! Izzy you're welcome to the library to anytime you want! I'm sure you'll find something to read in there."

Bella nodded her head gratefully and mouthed 'Thank you' to mom. Turning to me, she shook her head.  
'I remember.'

She mouthed something else to mom, and made her way out of the kitchen.

"Where's Emmett?" Mom asked trying to take half of the plates from me. I stepped away from her grasp,

"No, its okay, I got this. And Emmett is in the living room playing video games with Jasper."

Mom lovingly rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. She won't make Emmett load the dishwasher; she'll just punish him some other way. We worked side by side, filling the dishwasher in content silence. Or at least I thought it was content.

"So," She dragged out the word.

I chuckled, "What?"

She raised her eyebrow, "Bella, was it?"

I scoffed, shaking my head.  
"Yeah, it was." I said not giving her more information.

She waited patiently for me to continue. I turned away from her motherly stare, which was creeping me out, and reached into the sink, grabbing a handful of sudsy silverware.

She huffed and I internally laughed, deciding to take her bait.

"What, it's a name."

"But it's not her name."

"Yeah, well it's her name for me." I stated without thinking, the little twerp in me, running his mouth off.

"Oh? What do you mean?" She was in for the kill.

I sighed, "She doesn't look like an Izzy to me." I dried my hands and leaned against the counter as mom added the detergent.

"Are you sure it isn't because Bella is beautiful in Italian?"

I stare at her.

"I obviously shouldn't have bought you that Italian dictionary last year, and that is a really corny reason for me to call her that, mom."

She laughed starting up the machine and pulls me in to a hug. Like second nature I bring my arms up and hug her as well, letting her sway us from side to side. Yeah, yeah. I'm seventeen years old and still like my mother hug me as if I was eight, but you know what. I don't give a shit. Her hugs are amazing.

We parted and started to walk out of the kitchen when she said,

"Honey? You never disagreed."

I walked up the first steps of the stairs, but stopped to reply.

I met her hopeful hazel eyes,

"No, no I didn't." which earned me a wide smile.

\('o')/ \('O')/\('o')/

I was browsing on iTunes when I heard Bella's door open, her footsteps sounded as she pasted my door. _She's probably going out_I thought as I bought a Maroon 5 song.

I yawned, stretching in my chair, my eyes laying on my bio textbook. The due date was rapidly approaching but I never found the right moment to ask her if she wanted to work on the project. That would probably be to the fact that I enjoyed making her mad and never got to the actual question because by then she would flip me off and go into her room.

"Eddie!" If Emmett kept on banging on my door he would one day go through the wood.

"What?" I called out, shifting tabs and find the lyrics to the song.

"Come play with us!"

"Uh, I'd rather not." My back still hurt from that tackle during the second down.

"Aw! Why not?"

"I'm busy!"

"Are you choking the gopher?"

"Em!"

"Cause if you are that's cool."

I ran from the chair, pulled a pillow from my bed and raced to the door

"Yeah I mean, I have this one technique-"

I slammed the pillow in his face, shutting him up.

"Shut up. I am busy. That's all."

"…Are you watching porn? I have a website-"

The pillow method was very effective.

"I am finishing up some homework."

He stared at me in shock.

"You…are such a nerd!" He yelled in my face before running away. With my pillow.

I took a calming breath, and closed the door, making sure to lock it.

I spent another hour on the computer buying music and finding lyrics before I actually started my homework. I am not a nerd. I just like getting all my work done and out of the way before I enjoy my weekend. If that made me a nerd, well… fuck you too.

\('o')/ \('O')/\('o')/

Dinner came and went without Bella, not that I was expecting her to show up actually, but it just pained me to see the disappointment and sadness that mom got in her eyes whenever she let them wander to the empty chair in front of me. This time everyone got out of their chores, thanks to Emmett's kind offer to clean up by himself.

I meandered around the house, not wanting to be locked up in my room for a while and settled into the music room. I sat down on my bench, pulling it closer to the piano. I tinkered with it for a while, playing random notes and rifts.

I was in the middle of playing one of my own pieces when mom came in,

"Edward dear? Are you planning to go to sleep soon? I love to hear your playing but I can hear it up to my room." She sounded almost coy when she spoke and I frowned, looking down and internally cursing when I saw that I didn't have my watch on me.

"I'm sorry; I'll go up right now. What time is it anyway?"

With a smile she said, "It's 10:20"

"Damn, I uh, I mean dang. I didn't mean to be in here for so long." I stood up, closing the lid on the keys and walking away from my piano.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't get lost in your music."

"Thanks mom." I said, leaning down to kiss her cheek goodnight.

"See you in the morning."

"Night Dear." Her voice floated up to me on the stairs.

I tossed and turned for a good half hour before I settled in a light sleep. When I woke up, my clock read a quarter past 3. My mouth was dry, and I didn't feel like going to the bathroom to rehydrate. With a low groan, I slipped on my socks. Stupid habit of kicking them off during the night. Half asleep and stumbling I made my way to the kitchen.

I was thirstier then I thought, I realized as I downed the fairly large glass cup.

In the near silence of the dark I was able to hear a short barely there gasp from the kitchen entrance. Walking to the sound, I reached up to wipe the drops of water that dribbled from the glass in my speed drinking.

"Bella?" My voice was all deep and full of sleep. I cleared my throat, as my eyes further adjusted to the dark and I was able to see her small frame.

**Hey** her phones light blinded me for a second, making my eyes water uncomfortably.

**Sorry**, I read when she brought her phone back to my face.

"No, its okay. What are you doing up?" I asked, for the first time taking note of her clothes. They were the same from lunch.

"Did you just get in?" I thought mildly shocked and mildly worried. I didn't care if this was Forks, or fucking LA, no girl should be out this late. Especially alone._  
_

_What if she wasn't alone? _Shut up brain, you're supposed to be on my side.

**No, I came back at 11.  
**

Deciding not to bring her state of dressing up, I reworded my question,

"Couldn't sleep?"

With her phones backlight still on, I was able to see her shake her head,

"Ah, yeah. Same here. I only just fell asleep before I needed some water."

Her eyes zeroed on chin and before I could react, her hand rose to gently run across my jaw. As she did so, I felt water being spread.

**Water.** She typed out on her phone.

"Oh." I said, clearing my throat, "Do you want some warm milk? Mom used to give me some when I was younger. It always put me to sleep."

**Sure,** she shrugged going to the island, pulling out a chair and proceeding to quietly drum her fingers against the granite.  
Her mock innocent smile made me laugh quietly as it was made clear that I was going to be making the drink.

Getting the milk out of the fridge, I put about two cups in a small pot, taking it to the stove and letting it heat on low. I jumped on the island; sitting next to Bella, who seemed to be in a daze.

I waved my hand in her face, "You okay?"  
My eyes now fully adjusted to the dark, saw her nod slightly and I found myself wondering just what was she thinking.

* * *

**Well...i hoped you liked it!  
review on your thoughts. I was going to end this chapter with a few more pages but 3 POVs in one chapter was giving me a headache. so i cut it to 2.**

So hopefully I'll update the next time faster:P  
Review! :3 thanks for reading.

_**\('o')/ wooooo! **_


	17. Chapter 17

**Well i suck at updating...that is all.  
Enjoy reading and i hope you like another little smidgen to Izzy's past! Oh and i tried to get out most mistakes, if i missed some i'm sorry. i'll try harder.  
**

* * *

was it the hormones? Or the fact that even I, as fucked up as I am, could understand when a fellow teenager wasn't good looking in the normal standards like everyone else in that penitentiary like school of Forks.

The answer is yes. Edward was good-looking; I could even go as far as to say that he was fucking fine. Shockingly over the last few days I've come to enjoy his stupid hair. I never noticed how much it bothered me, and it constantly left me wondering if he purposely made it look as chaotic and windblown as it was.

But in the kitchen at three fucking forty-two in the morning, it was clear that his hair was just naturally against gravity. Not to mention the color was just weird as fuck. Was it brown…or was it red? Queue that one naked kid from the tootsie pop commercials. The world will never know. But he made it work. A rapid motion in front of my face and I focused out of my thought and on to Edward.

"You okay?"

I nodded slowly while thinking _was I okay? I mean, I did just have a tiny tirade about his hair.  
_Clearly I needed sleep. I looked away from his emerald eyes before I went on another tirade. Figures that the Cullens would be blessed in a perfect life, the perfect house and the perfect good looks, they were, for all intents and purposes, perfect.

You know those moments when you are freed from your blissful obliviousness? Well I apparently was in those bubbles. i have been in the same room with Edward and I barely just noticed that he was…shirtless. _  
_  
My blush should have knocked me out by the speed it arrived. All the sudden blood to my head should have not been healthy.

I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and chewed on it, trying to distract myself from the shirtless dude in front of me.  
My eyes landed on the stove, in the dim light I could see it bubbling. A little too much.

Turning back to Edward to point out the burning milk, I saw that he was staring at me.  
I looked down to my phone, opening up a new message, but only got '**the mil-**' before I felt my lip being tugged. His face was suddenly close, his eyes  
entrancing me.  
_  
It's the hormones, it's the lack of sleep…yeah both of those.  
_  
"You'll tear through the skin if you don't watch out." He murmured his eyes deep and intense.  
After a second I remembered how to swallow and I pulled away from his touch, even though his thumb was no longer on my lip, it still left like it was there. I bit it to try and dissipate the tingling feeling.

Also remembering the milk, I rushed around the island and turned off the stove.

"Oh, shit." Edward sounded out, coming around to check on the pot. I gave him a _duh_look and smirked. I placed the pot back on the stove and getting the milk out again. Earlier before Edward arrived and scared the shit out of me, I went scavenging in the kitchen.

Edward was quiet as I set the microwave timer for a minute. His face clearly displayed his embarrassment.

"Shut up" He grumbled, going to the spice rack near the sink. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the counter.

The time ended and I carefully got the mugs out taking them to Edward, who proceeded to add some cinnamon.

"This will not only warm you up, it will soothe your soul." He said with a look of utmost seriousness as I took back the mug. I held back an eye roll, he could be such a dork.

We both went back to the island and I took a small sip. It warmed me up alright, but I had yet to feel the soothing of the soul part. What failed propaganda, man.

"Hey, uh, can I ask you a question?" The nervous tone in his voice made me look up from my mug and I nodded hesitantly. _How personal can a personal question get?  
_  
"How do you write your own songs? Are they works in progress or do you just write them out as you go along?"  
I frowned, thinking about it, I didn't do either of what he thought, but even if he asked a personal question I didn't have to answer personally. How well would this go over: 'Oh, well you see, I have nightmares almost every night and most of the time the feelings that I feel after a nightmare inspire me to write a song.' Not very well I assume.

I took a breath, lowering my mug and puling out my cell phone again. Recently I've master the art of texting without looking at the keys or the screen. I will never be caught texting in class, that's for sure.  
**  
A note from one of my instruments will play in my head. If I like it I'll start making a song and I can pair it up with a simple sentence that I can turn into a full song. They come to me.  
**  
Well that was close enough for the truth.

"How many instruments do you play?" He was sure the inquisitor today, wasn't he?  
**  
a couple, **I answered vaguely, it wasn't anything personal I just didn't like sharing about myself.  
**What's your favorite color? **I typed before he could ask more and in a matter of answers it turned into a more then twenty questions game. I learned that his favorite color was red, mine was black. (But he thought he could be all technical about it and say that black was not a color, it was in fact a lack of color. So I told him to shut up.)

He learned that I also played the guitar and I learned that he has thought about learning another instrument besides the piano. Most of the questions turned into music related one. Our favorite bands, songs, era, what artist we liked the most, what artist we disliked but could appreciate their success in the business. (Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber)

It was around four forty-five that he started yawning again.

"Crap, we talked for a while." He said with an almost embarrassed smile as he yawned out most of the last words.  
I nodded understandably, slightly uncomfortable at just how comfortable it was interacting with Edward. I was probably the most socially awkward teen out there.

"I'll see you in the morning then. Night…or would it be morning…whatever, have a good sleep." He looked confused at his own words, and I tried not to giggle at him. Apparently he was also affected from lack of sleep.  
_  
Good night_. I waved bye at him and waited until he was up the stairs to quietly turn on the coffee maker. Making a fairly large glass for me, I went upstairs. I had no intentions of sleeping…even though I was tired. I've learned that when I have a memory of the past, it'll play out in my dreams as well and that scared the fuck out of me.

I watched some videos on my laptop that I had on my iTunes. I would have been fine with the TV since it would have been showing Bleach at this time on adult swim, but I couldn't remember what setting the volume was at. Couldn't risk waking Edward up. At least one of should get a few more hours of sleep, but despite my previous thoughts about not sleeping, I must have been sleepier than I thought because I found myself dozing off a few times. Partly feeling masochistic and part sleep deprived (like always), I let my body relax against the soft pillows and mattress. With my mind open, I let unconsciousness suffocate me.

**~.~.~.~**

_I shut my eyes, tears begging to pour but I didn't let them. I needed to be strong. 8:03pm read his alarm clock; it's been almost forty minutes since Mrs. Thomas roughly pulled James out of his room, interrupting out game of battle shit._

_I've already collected all the pieces that had been haphazardly thrown and put the game away. There was no time to play the game anymore. I flinched as I heard the deafening thwack, which I've sadly come to know as a leather belt being whipped against named flesh. James flesh specifically. History repeats itself in this house hold constantly._

_But I never told my dad about it. James said it wasn't my issue to deal with and to leave it alone. The only thing I could do was be there for him, but he was wrong._  
_He made it my issued every time he held me tightly to his bleeding body._

_Like clockwork the final thwack sounded followed by Mr. Thomas's rough and grouchy voice yelling "Next time use your fucking brain. No son of mine will be a good for nothing bastard."_

_In a few seconds the front door will slam shut and Mr. Thomas will drive out to Port Angeles to a local pub. In a minute, Mrs. Thomas will go to the kitchen, pop in a microwave dinner and go watch her 8:30 program, leaving James alone in the foyer to clean up any spilt blood. I counted the seconds, my predictions coming true._

_The only thing left was for James to come back to his room; to me._

_3…2…1…_

_the door opened, his naturally tanned hand clutching the door. He walked slowly obviously in pain; his torn up shirt was clutched in his fist. He scared me after moments like these. He could go either way, lashing out (which would explain the three holes in the dry wall), or he could crush me to him silently begging for me to show him affection._

_It hurt to see him like, but I knew my pain was nothing, meant nothing, compared to his physical pain._

_"James?" I asked cringing as my voice wavered, thick with forbidden tears. He was staring into space, but hearing my voice his head slowly turned my way. His mind letting him out of the mental shield he created, when nights like these happened. His icy sapphires gleamed vibrantly, my blood chilled._

_My breathing hitched as I realized with petrified dread, he was going to lash out. Despite my shallower breathing, I recklessly got closer, thinking that I could calm him down.  
_

_"James, its okay." I said praying that he wouldn't hurt himself, praying that my words could break him of his rage.  
_

_"Okay?" he said sounding as if he was choking on something. I studied him closer, he was chocking on something; his own volatile anger. What had been barely noticeable now became more obvious to me; a tremor was running through his body, hate and anger egging him on to let go of his rationality and let loose._

_"Okay!" he screamed causing me to jump in alarm. He was going to pounce and that simple fact was making it even harder to keep the tears at bay. I tried to swallow the increasing knot in my throat. In a jerky motion, he threw his tattered shit across his room and stalked towards me. It was then that I couldn't even begin to stop the tears even if I tired._

_They raced out as my heart just started to race, a cold sweat breaking out as well. I scrambled backwards blindly, the back of my legs coming in contact with his bed. I lost my equilibrium, swaying back and forth, but it didn't deter him as he proceeded to all but slam me back and pin me down on the bed.  
_

_"Please!" I cried kicking my legs. What I was begging him for? To let me go since his hands were painfully clutching my own? To calm down since he was scaring me? Probably both.  
_

_"Do I look okay Isa?" He yelled out. I tired to answer, I really did but he was pinning me down with his body, I couldn't get enough air to reply. Suddenly my head throbbed and it took me a second to realize why. He smacked my head.  
_

_"Answer me!"  
_

_"No," I sobbed out, wishing he'd stop but once he started he wouldn't stop until he was broken out of it.  
_

_"Fuck Isa, stop crying!" he said, his voice which used to be pure anger now edged towards a hysterical panic, but his anger was still evident. He was freaking out because he hated tears, loathed them really. Using his aversion to my tears to my defense I used all the strength I had in my tiny body and pushed him off. When I was free I ran out the door, flinching as I heard a loud crash from within the room. _

_Mrs. Thomas paid no mind to me as I literally slipped out the front door. I didn't stop running, not until I locked the front door to my own house and collapsed on the floor trying to stop the sobs coming from my chest.  
_

_Thankfully I was home alone; at least for now anyway, Mom was due home at 8:45. As I used my sleeve to wipe the trail of tears and snot from my chin, it became apparent that I was bleeding. I sighed, getting up on shaky legs and going to the bathroom where the first aid kit was located. This wasn't the first time I've bled due to James, I cleaned my bloody palm slowly, in no rush to leave the place that was becoming somewhat of a safe haven for me during these times. I couldn't tell mom or dad about this because then it'd lead to questions, and then it'd lead to James. This would not be a good thing at all. _

...

"_Sweetie, are you okay? You seem awfully quiet tonight." Mom and I were having a late dinner, my dad was still working.  
Looking up from my plate of hamburger and fries from some fast food place in Port Angeles I said, "Oh, nothing. I'm just sleepy."_

_I could feel her assessing me as I evaded her eyes._

_"Is everything alright," Mom started then paused before continuing, "Did you have a fight with James?"  
The best lies were the ones kept closest to the truth.  
_

_"Yeah." I said shortly starting to feel self conscious about the Band-Aids on my palm. I shifted my hand away.  
_

_"What happened?"  
_

_it's not like you really care, I think as I saw her start fiddling with her phone.  
"It was something stupid…can I go to bed?" I asked itching to leave the room. It took her a moment to reply but her brows came together and she mumbled an okay._

...

_Tap, tap, tap.  
_

_"Isa, please open the window." James. I can't say I'm shocked. This happened every time.  
_

_"Please," His voice begged, from my bed I could see his eyes searching the room, his hand pressed against the window.  
_

_"I shouldn't have scare you." It was his way of apologizing. Since I met him, I've never heard him utter the words "I'm sorry."  
_

_"Open the window." His voice cracking made my heart ache.  
_

_I stared at the window and it was like I had no control over my body. With a sigh I got out of the bed and opened the window. I walked away from it to give him room to come in. standing in the middle of my room; I stared at him, begging him to leave to me alone. But he was like a poison. His dark invisible tentacles reaching towards me, pulling me into a strangling hug. _

_Tears welled up in my eyes 'Let me go' resounding in my head. I clutched him closer, willing him to be my knight shining armor to protect me…to protect me from him. His hold tightened, his lips on my head, rocking us gently.  
_

_I hated myself at that moment. Thinking I could escape, I couldn't escape. My body froze when I heard his heart beating. I realized even if I wanted him to let me go, it was clear that he'd never let me go.  
_

_As if he could hear my thoughts he finalized my dread when he ever-so-softly muttered  
_

_"You're mine, Isa"  
_

_He'd never let me go…  
~.~.~.~ _  
"Edward!" I jolted awake, my body still reacting from my dream. It was hot and clammy; I could hear my own heartbeat roaring in my ears. Despite the heat, goose bumps erupted on my skin, a terrible shudder coursing through me. I clenched my eyes shut; bring my fists to my ears.

_He's gone. He isn't here. I'm safe. He's gone. He isn't here. I'm safe. _This was my mantra as I tried to calm down, as I suppressed my dream away locking it in a far corner in my brain.

_No more. I'm safe here. _I continued thinking. As the fear started subsiding, my thoughts making an effect on me, I realized that it was being replaced with anger.

Anger at myself, at _him_. My muscles tense as I dragged my hands down my ears, my nails digging into my skin, the burning friction being a sweet release as

I felt a new pain. A pain I could control. Where my digging nails left, there was a burning trail

"C'mon we need to go." Emmett said and I was never more appreciative of his loud voice then I was at the moment. It was childish, innocent. Something that I had lost long ago.

More dragging, more mantras. I blocked everything out then, closing myself off. I fell into a stupor, falling into a light feeble sleep. I had no dreams, I had no thoughts.

I arose later, feeling as tired as always.  
I needed my music; I could feel my finger moving to a song that had been playing in my sleep. I needed release, I needed a voice. But my studio was to far away, my desire to play to strong to wait.

I lay in bed for another half hour, continuing the song in my head before I got up. With robotic movements I took a shower and got ready.

The house was quiet as I opened my door, pulling my hair up into a pony tail.

The kitchen was empty, as was the living room. My mind was made up as the third room I checked, the game room, was also empty. I would use the piano in the music room. Playing a few simple short songs, I warmed up my voice quietly. I sighed, swallowing back the emotion that was climbing its way up.

It felt odd playing a song here; I was half tempted to drive to Seattle. But I wouldn't. I needed to do this now.

I closed my eyes, going into my place where I could express myself freely, despite the fact that I was in the Cullen home.

My fingers ghost over the keys a couple of times before I lean forward and begin.

**I climb, I slip, I fall  
Reaching for your hands  
But I lay here all alone  
Sweating all your blood**

**If I could find out how**  
**To make you listen now**  
**Because I'm starving for you here**  
**With my undying love**  
**And I, I will**

**Breathe for love tomorrow**  
**Cause there's no hope for today**  
**Breathe for love tomorrow**  
**Cause maybe there's another way**

As I sing, I keep adding notes, for the other instruments. I forget where I am and let loose. I belt out the words, I hit every note. I move my entire body, the piano becoming an extension of my arms. This is what I love to do; this is what keeps me sane. I tell my forbidden story with my songs.

**I climb, I slip, I fall  
Reaching for your hands  
But I lay here all alone  
Sweating all your blood**

**If I could find out how**  
**To make you listen now**  
**Because I'm starving for you here**  
**With my undying love**  
**And I, I will**

**Breathe for love tomorrow**  
**Cause there's no hope for today**  
**Breathe for love tomorrow**  
**Cause maybe there's another way**

**Breathe for love tomorrow**  
**Cause there's no hope for today**  
**Breathe for love tomorrow**  
**Cause maybe there's another way**

**I climb, I slip, I fall**  
**Into your empty hands**  
**But I lay here all alone**  
**Sweating all your blood**

The final note ends, fading away slowly. I stay there for a moment, not wanting to let go of this feeling. That in this moment, I was free. I wasn't lying, I wasn't silent. What I couldn't do before I did now with my song. A cry for help.

* * *

**The song was Breathe (until tomorrow) by Paramore. i can't sing along to that song because i start crying. which is what Izzy would have done expect we all know she doesn't cry...not yet anyway.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, any questions please ask them. answering questions makes me think about my favorite upcoming chapters which gives me motivation to finish the chapters :P which is why i updated today.**

**Oh! and i have a new story I'm thinking about posting it's called Under My Skin**

**here's the first paragraph:**

When I was small, I didn't have a best 'friend'. No 'friend' would usually mean a living person. My best 'thing' was my bath tub. The crawling had always been with me. Even as a baby, my mom had to put those little gloves on my hands to keep me from scratching my face. By the time I was 6, it was a soft whispering tickle.

It would calm down after a bath. But only for after a few hours of peace the urge to pick and pull on the little worms and slithering bugs became incessant once more. My only solution was to escape the tiny four walls of my house and dive into mud, making myself so dirty it'd take a good hour and a half to wash off, if I was lucky.

I did that twice everyday for 3 solid months before my parents began to let me stay dirty. As the years progressed it became worse despite moms claims that it was just a phase. But it didn't pass. And I wasn't crazy. They were there. Always crawling, slithering, and walking on my skin, passing my ears with low, slow hisses, leaving invisible trails of slime and tiny footprints.

I wasn't crazy. I really wasn't. They were there. You just have to look really, really hard…

**Please Review! Comment if i should post Under My Skin.  
i have the chapter completed and everything I'm just going through it and editing some stuff.**  
**Until next time! :D**


	18. Chapter 18

**So I'm pretty fucking sure this si the quickest i've updated. in all honesty i finished the chapter a day ago (3-19-12) but i didn't post it because i wanted to edit and cut shit out,  
:D i hope you like this chapter. Its all ExB **  
**Enjoy! I don't own anything, and any mistakes are mine because i suck at editing and i skim.**

* * *

Staring at the piano, I force the pain, the short lived freedom and the pathetic sense of weakness away…away to a deep recess of my mind. I leave the piano, my stiff legs leading me to believe that I had been sitting still for longer than I had originally thought. I head to the nearest bathroom and study my face; it was pale, but then again I live in Forks, this is nothing new. My eyes looked dull. I practice my smile, it's forming feeling strange. Frowning, I look down gripping the smooth counter until my fingers turn bone white. The ache made me feel alive.  
I wash my face and practice the smile over and over again until it's believable.

"Oh, hey I thought you were gone too." I jump as Edward appeared out of nowhere, his hair speckled with rain drops. A loud thunder makes me flinch, and then his words reach me.  
**  
Where are the others? **I show him on my phone, and he smiles while he replies.

"They went to Seattle early this morning; they called me earlier while I was in Port Angeles."  
**  
What did they say?  
**  
"The rain had been coming down for a while over there, they'd been hoping for it to loosen up. Mom doesn't like driving in thunder storms." Like a dog, he  
shakes his hair. Rain drops splattering me in the face.

"Oops." He laughed, and I blink. We've had talks before, but he seems more at ease…it was odd. But I didn't mind, it felt nice.  
A sudden thought hit me like a ton of bricks, **so they're staying in Seattle tonight?  
**  
He turns away, nodding absentmindedly, his focus now on the piano.

"Did you play?" No beating around the bush with this one, is there? I had no qualms in him knowing that I played, had no reasons to deny it but I ended shaking my head 'no' anyways.

He looked confused for a minute before he changed back to the previous subject.

"Yeah, they're staying in a hotel for the night. Emmett's thrilled for the room service. They should be back tomorrow around noon."  
**  
Oh, **I type, biting my lip.**  
**  
"Yep…" he trails off staring intently at me. He looked like he wanted to say something.

My stomach growling brought to my attention that I haven't eaten all day. Clearly I felt more human than before because a light blush came along when Edward looked towards the source of the embarrassing sound.

"You hungry?" he asked the obvious. I nodded.

"I think we can find something to eat, I'm starving."

We head to the kitchen; Edward explaining that he had originally been included in the family outing but at the last moment remembered that a CD he had pre-ordered arrived at the music store in PA.

Edward also said that we probably would just have to reheat stuff in the microwave, but as we open the door we find that there are no left overs.  
His reaction is so comical I almost laugh, his mouth dropped open for a few seconds before he started to pout.

"We're going to die of hunger, Bella." He says like a toddler who just got his favorite toy taken away. Torn between punching him for calling me 'Bella' and giving him the rational answer that it takes more than a day to die of starvation, I settle for pushing him aside with a small smile and start getting out all the stuff in the fridge.

"I'm going to cook? Bella, we've been over this before, I can't even boil milk."  
**  
No shit, I'm going to cook. What do you want to eat? **This turned out to be worst thing I could have asked him. Apparently when it came to food, Edward  
wasn't very picky…unless you gave him the choice. At first he said pasta…then half way through he had changed his mind and said mashed potatoes, then again half way through he said rice with chicken.

Then the desert: banana splits, chocolate pudding, and strawberry milkshakes.  
Two hours later we had a counter full of food because I refused to throw away the half done stuff I made.

Edward was doing an impression of Emmett, scratching his stomach and his mouth open as he stared at the food.  
"Where do we start?"

Eyes wide I shrug, honestly when I was making the food it didn't seem like I was making a lot…Edward started talking and we ended up talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Slowly along the way I started feeling better, alive, and awake, more like myself. Without realizing he pulled me from the fog I was entering.

He sighed and I turned to him, he eyes had a playful gleam to them.

"This is your entire fault. You had to cook all this food."

My mouth dropped open, _what a little shit head._ Fine, if he wanted to play that way, I was game.

I turned from him, going to the cabinet and getting a plate for myself before piling it up with food.

Noticing the change in my mood, Edward got his own plate and started doing the same.

"Bella…" I ignored him, going to the oven and getting out the garlic bread for the ravioli (which he asked for somewhere between the chicken parmesan and  
the rice with chicken) "Bell-la" he stressed the syllables.

No response.

"…Izzy." distain was not hidden in his voice. I smiled to myself as I walked to the dinner table, Edward trailing behind.

I tilted my head to the side, letting him know that I was listening.

"Do you have an inner Paula Dean in you?" it takes all my control not to laugh at him.

"You can't ignore me forever." He said going around the table to face me. I raised an eye brow, challenging him.

"Mmhm." He said while taking a bite of the mashed potatoes in his mouth.

"Oh, my God." He groaned as he swallowed, "This is so good." I rolled my eyes, looking down to eat my own food. I mean, obviously its good…I made it.

He adds a few more comments here and then, but I never reply, other than an eye roll. I was getting under his skin, his words becoming funnier to break my silence.

The melodramatic bitch in me started ruining my mood at that goal of his, _If 6 doctors couldn't do it, what makes you thinks you will._  
"Where's your remote, I need to pull up the volume." Annoyance filled me at his little bitch move. It reminded me of one of the first doctors I had. He kept saying I was a broken TV.

Without another moment of hesitance I raised my plastic spoon (because I was a lazy ass when it came to washing) full of chocolate pudding and flung it at him. It was a direct hit. The thick goop trailing down his forehead and I laughed at the look of utter shock on his face.

"Oh you think that's funny, don't you." His voice wasn't mad, but other than that I couldn't pay attention because I was laughing so hard. He reached up to clean his goopy face. He stared at it for a few seconds before flashing his eyes to me, a split second before he threw the pudding towards me. It hit my shoulder and soon more followed, the little shit head must have reached across the table as soon as he threw the pudding, to take my cup.

Screaming at the attack of the pudding I run out of the dining room, wiping my face.

"Bella!" Edward laughed, I could his running footsteps

I looked at the counter and reached for the mashed potatoes, which he loved so much. With the serving spoon I fling it at the door as soon as it's opened, hitting him straight in the chest.

"What the fuck." He said looking down as it fell with a 'glop' to the floor.

"Oh, oh, okay so that's how you want play." He said his face full of joy and mischief.

Grabbing my weapon, I ran to the opposite side of the island, shifting foot to foot as he casually walked picking his own artillery. His back was to me and he hid what he was looking at, I stand on my tippy toes to try and see what he was touching.

He whipped around and released his closed fist: the pasta. I ducked a second to late, the marinara sauce coating the top of my head.

Still crouching I released more mashed potatoes over my shoulders, knowing I hit him after every "Shit!"

Laughter filled the kitchen and we ran around grabbing the food and throwing it at each other.

He was tailing after me with the chocolate syrup for the banana splits and I slipped on the stray mashed potatoes. Thinking that he was going to step on me, I clenched my eyes shut and screamed.

He didn't step on me, but he did try to be all fancy and jump over me. Only to fall himself as he tripped over the thrown pot of what used to be full of peas.

I looked around me as he scrambled to his knees. Ah ha! I grabbed the melting ice cream and opened the container, reaching in and grabbing a hand full cold vanilla. He was right in front of me when I turned back around and I had to do no more then just push the ice cream in his face.

"That is cold." He said his eyes closed as ice cream dribbled from his face and down his chin, his tongue coming out to lick his lips.

I swallowed at the scene and shook my head, getting up quickly and putting some distance between us.

"You know what this means now, don't you?" He said standing up with a smile, his emerald eyes staring me down.

I shook my head again.

Distracted by his eyes, I couldn't tell what he was doing before he showed me what he was hiding behind his back; whipped cream. Ah fuck.  
He ran straight at me, eliciting another laughing scream from me, and sprayed some at me. We went down landing in some more food, this time it was pudding and some spilled milkshake.

Thrashing under him, he gave no mercy as he continuously covered me in whipped cream. As I used one hand to push his face away the other tried to reach for the canister, but damn him and his long arms.

"Ha! I win!" He yelled laughing in my face.

My hands felt something on the floor and without looking I knew it was the chocolate syrup he had abandoned.  
_  
No, I think I win;_I think as I open the bottle and squeeze with all my might forgetting about the fact that Edward was laughing with his mouth open.

Immediately Edward started choking, dropping the whipped cream and patting his chest, I was no help at all considering I was literally rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.

"Okay you win." Edward said once he got his choking under control. I flashed him a smile, a very smug smile. I stretched out, flopping a bit around like a fucking fish to get comfortable.

"You're evil under all that crazy aren't you?" He said pulling the front of his shirt up to clean his face. A sliver of skin showed and I blushed madly as I looked away.

_**Edward POV**_

When I said that Bella was going to be the death off me. I didn't mean it literally. Now I was beginning to think that I was psychic. Only Bella could make chocolate syrup into a choking hazard. I lifted the front of my shirt and cleaned my face off, leaning back a bit to give Bella enough room if she wanted to get up.

She didn't and that turned out to be my down fall to Fuckery Ville. One of my favorite things about Bella, aside from being sarcastic was her blush.

As I lowered my shirt, Bella was looking away a bright, endearing blush reaching from her hair line and fading towards her collar bone.

My breath caught as I looked at her. She was lying on the floor, her hair thrown out. Its tips matted in the strawberry milkshake I thought I wanted. Her face was covered in whipped cream, which was now slowly melting (can whipped cream melt, anyways?) and trailing down the sides of her face. There was a light smile and it made me fill up with pride knowing that I caused that smile. It was a treasure hearing her laugh and scream with such a care free expression, unlike the one I found her with in the music room.

Her clothes were covered in food and…she never looked more beautiful to me than now.

I was screwed. The hormonal teenage boy in me was overriding everything. Fleeting thoughts about taking things slow and trying to figure out if Bella liked me, like I was starting to like her disappearing as I lost myself in her. Without a conscious command, though without any real resistance, my body began to lower itself closer to Bella.

My heart racing as the object of my current desire came closer. My hands tried to claw at the messy floor; my arms, which were now caged against her head, straining as I fought against the desire to just jump the distance and capture her lips with my own.

Elation sprung up as Bella's own head lifted infinitesimally towards mine. My eyes sought out her lips, they were plump and soft natural red that most girls buy a shit ton of lip-sticks to have.

The tension, anticipation really, in my body was making my movement much slower than I would have liked. Our noses were brushing, this was it.

"Bella." I whispered, but probably came out like a sigh.

My lips were only inches away from hers, her scent along with the strawberry whip cream and chocolate syrup intoxicating me even more than I already was. Her breathing was as fast as mine, the tension continually building. I was going to just say screw the rest of the space (internally of course) and press my lips to hers when I looked at her eyes. When her words were missing, her eyes would tell a story… and the story was terror.

I stopped disappointment and disgust in myself dominating everything I had just been feeling.

I sighed, hoping like hell I didn't ruin the good friendship we have come to form. I was a hidden greedy motherfucker, and even if I couldn't kiss her like I wanted, I would try to express that what I felt for her was slowly growing from friendship. I tilted my head and continued my heart pounding as I brushed my lips on her nose, adding just the smallest amount pressure as I passed.

_**Izzy POV**_

He furrowed his brows a certain look came upon his face and he started to lean down, and down, and down. _Oh, my fucking God._  
My heart pounded painfully fast, and I swear he could almost hear it. Our noses were about an inch part, both of us panting, he from his choking, while me from my laughing like a hyena.

My eyes, on their own accord, went to his lips, but I didn't realize that I had somehow lifted my head the tiniest bit.

He blinked slowly and as he looked at my lips he slowly, like slower than a snail, started moving again.

My eyes widened, and I couldn't move since I was now trapped between the floor and his arms caged around me.

"Bella" he half sighed, half whispered.

Fear suddenly coursed through my veins and I forced myself to stay in the present, not to be sucked into my memories.

He stilled for a moment before sighing and continuing to lower his head at anew angle...and brushed his lips against my nose.

_**Edward POV.**_

A gust of air left her lips; I pushed back the feelings of hurt from her actions, the obvious relief in her expelled air. She stared at me and I stared back, not knowing what to do next. We had been playful and laughing minutes before but now a heavy silence was all that was left. I didn't like it.

Crash!

I jump at the sudden thunder, the lights over head flickering on and off a few times before just staying off completely.

"Thunder storm" I say my voice quiet in shame, but using this to my advantage.

I get up trying to wipe off some of our mess, but stopped when I realized it was useless.

Bella was still on the floor, looking up at me, her face covered in whipped cream and her nose had a trail of chocolate from my lips. She was messy, but so beautiful.

"Do you think the lights will come on any time soon?" I asked looking away from her and towards the window. The room was steadily becoming darker and I tried to remember where Esme had left the candles. I heard her moving and turned in time to see her shake her head. I chose to believe her because she's lived in this weather all her life.

"C'mon." I said extending my hand towards her, "We need to find some candles before we can't see anything."

It took a few tries to get a grip on her, due to the slipperiness of her hand from all the shit she was covered in. I stifled a laugh as I saw her hair plastered with the milkshake.

"You look that way, I look this way?" I asked pointing to the left and right of the room. There were too many drawers. Divide and conquer, I'm sure Jasper would say right now.

Nodding her head she started looking, as did I. Aside from the thunder and opening and closing of the drawers it was quiet.

Bella tapped my shoulder a few minutes later and I turned to see her holding about four candles and pointing to the drawer that she left open. I assumed she was trying to say that there was more in there. I took two from her and watched as she got a light from her pocket and turned one candle and used it to light the others.

An orange hue was casted over the kitchen, the messy kitchen, the really, _really_ messy kitchen.

"Oh fuck" I muttered looking around. It didn't seem this chaotic with the lights on.

"What should we do now?" I ask Bella who was sniffing her hair with a look of fascination and shock.

Despite my mood, I laugh at her open expression. She looks up and sees that I was looking at her and blushes. Still chuckling slightly, I run a hand through my own hair.

"Gross." I groan as I come out with the delicious mashed potatoes and chocolate pudding on my hand.

**I think we should shower. ** Her phone is in my face; I look her over and then myself and agree.

For safety reasons we blow out the other candles leaving one on to be our light as we walk up the flight of stairs. I stay on the second level, letting her have the bathroom on our floor. I use Jaspers bathroom, simply because I don't trust Emmett.

Fifteen minutes later I'm showered and dressed in my pajamas, ready to go to bed despite the fact that it was barely 9:43 and that we left the kitchen a fucking mess. But I had to do something first before I fell asleep.

_*.*.*  
_

_I can do this. Just six words, nine syllables, that's it. I can do._ I step forward and raise my hand to knock on her door but like the chicken shit I am, I freak out and picture her scared expression from downstairs.

"Agh, fuck" I whisper to myself. "She deserves an apology."

I wiggle my arms, loosening up my tense muscles. My reactions to having to apologize to Bella are verging on pathetic. I take a breath, and knock on the door.

_**Izzy POV**_

He kissed my nose…_he kissed my nose_, well actually not even that, he brushed his lips across my nose. Yeah that's right. And I felt like shit afterwards, as hard as he tried he was hurt by my reaction. I rolled my eyes at myself and scrubbed my scalp even harder, the strawberry scent becoming therapeutic.

It wasn't something I was used to, a dude who had been spraying me with whipped cream and then deciding to kiss me. Yeah, that doesn't happen to me  
often enough to know how to react properly.  
_  
Sure… you keep telling yourself that, _the bitch inside my head said, keeping it real.

I sighed, not even my own mind can let me lie to myself. It wasn't the fact that he was trying to kiss me that made me react as I did. Well not the whole reason anyway. Even out of my nightmares, when I was wide awake and finally acting like a normal teenager _he_ still manages to ruin everything. Only this time Edward was a casualty in my abnormal reactions to the simplest of things.

And the fact that he would even _want_ to kiss me left me dumbfounded as well. I'm the silent freak; ask any of the boys at school. I had nothing to be attracted to. I shook my head as my decimating tendencies came up. I may not be 'hot' or 'ooze sex appeal' like the other girls at school, but I knew I had some fine attributes…like…my hair.

This was getting awkward, talking myself up as I was naked and getting shampoo suds in my eyes. I whined softly like a puppy as the sting in my eyes started to get worse. I turned towards the stream of water and opened my eye a little bit, rinsing it out. After that I decided to stop wasting the water and get out as soon as I'm finished

I change into some really soft 'the Grinch stole Christmas' and its matching long sleeve. As I'm searching with one hand for my fuzzy socks and the other to hold the candle there's a knock on my door.  
_  
Ah! I found you_ I think before I make my way over to the door.

"Hey." Edward says calmly. I try to wave but my hands are full so I put my socks in my mouth and then wave.

"Can we talk really quick?"

I'm curious as to what he'll say and nod my head opening my door and holding the candle out to him. He takes it without question and I take the socks out  
of my mouth as I turn around and start jumping on one leg to put them on.

He sits down over at my desk, as I sit cross legged on my bed, waiting for him to talk.

It takes him a moment to gather his words, and when he speaks he stumbles over them.

"I, uh, in the kitchen…when, well…um." He was making no sense, but I patiently wait for him to unravel himself. In the candle light I see him frown, his lips becoming a small pout.

"I'm sorry." I look back to his eyes, surprised by his words.

"Downstairs I shouldn't have been so forwards as to almost…uh, well… you know. I respect women and I respect you and I'm sorry if I scared you. I feel like shit, I don't know what I had been thinking but I never meant to scare you. I don't want you to fear me. I'm so sorry." He says his eyes showing the same remorse his voice is sounding.

He can't meet my eyes and I start to worry that I might have ruined the friendship we had been building, that we have. We're quiet for a moment, and I keep staring at him while he keeps frowning at the candle in his hands. He apologized and it was awkward and he stumbled over his words, but it was a sweet apology nonetheless. He finally looked up and I'm ready with a smile

"You forgive me?" I nod.

"You're not scared of me, are you?" The almost childish worry in his voice makes me want to hug the shit out of him, but we don't hug. At least not yet.  
I shake my head; I don't think I could ever be afraid _of _Edward. Slowly I'm becoming to realize that he's not putting up a façade; that the acts of kindness he sends towards me and pretty much everyone in his family are sincere, that he's just a _good _guy.

He almost dazzles me with his returning smile.

"Thank you." He says with so much emotion, it makes me wonder just how much he needed me to accept his apology.

"I should be going to bed; I'll see you in the morning." He says with the smile still on his face.

I walk him to the door, opening it up for him. It's when he's half way through the door that I act on a sudden urge.

I grab a hold of his hands with one of my own and as he turns to me, I reach up to cup his face with my free hand and gently place a kiss on his cheek, feeling his facial hair tickle my lips. I pull away, and mouth "Good night, Edward" before quickly closing the door. As I lean against the door, I take in the feeling of my heart beating fast and the dissipating feeling of him on my lips.

This was a normal reaction.

I liked this feeling.

* * *

**Lol, would that almost kiss make me a cock-blocker? That's what my friend said anyways :P Don't worry. i'll make up for it later. maybe soon...i dunno.**

**Did you like it? Yay or Nay?**  
** Have comments, concerns, questions? anything. i'd be glad to answer them. mostly because it gets me thinking and when i think about the story i think about my favorite chapters and i get all motivated and shizz to write faster.**

**Please review! :D  
(By the way has anyone else seen the 15 second teaser of BDp2? Oh my fucking god. i had a dip shit smile on my face for like 5 minutes!)  
I'll probably update soon again since i had 10 pages but cut it down to 8. Bye!  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**Well with the amount of words on here you'd think i updated faster, but i'm a fucking lazy ass. (And i started watching Make It Or Break It on Netflix. Looooove it.) **

**This chapter for me is a developmental chapter. I haven't really gone into detail with Izzy's feelings. And i hope i showed it here. Our girl is confused so deal with her. :P**

* * *

"How the fuck did we get marinara sauce on the ceiling?" Edward asked looking thoroughly mind fucked. We've been staring at the stain on the ceiling for the past minute. I had woken up around 5 and waiting until 7 to wake Edward up. The moment I walked into the kitchen, I wanted to walk right back out.

I was not ready for this shit.

I looked over to Edward and saw him staring expectantly at me. Shrugging I got my phone out and typed **that was your weapon. Not mine. Your problem. Not mine :P**

"You're so kind." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at me. With a snarky smile I shrugged again before pushing him aside and getting the buckets and spatula, he had retrieved from the garage.

I went to the island, that I cleaned before I woke Edward up, and turned on my iHome, immediately _Panic at the disco _started playing. I assumed that Edward knew 'The ballad of Mona Lisa' when a smile graced his face.

We set off to work, using the spatula to scrap off the dried food from the wall. A shit load of a long time later, the house was back to being clean.

"I never want to have a food fight again." Edward groaned, washing his hands with hot water and soap. He said he was trying to scrub the guilt of throwing good food away.

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the counter.

**What if the food fight was at school?  
**

"Hmm" he mused for a minute, "Probably, but only if I knew newton would be held accountable."

He smirked, the scene of mike cleaning the dirty cafeteria probably running through his mind as it was in mine.

"So, how you doing?" he asked after a moment of silence.  
I raised an eye brow.

**Fucking Peachy. **

"You have such a way with words." He said sardonically. Turning off the water, he reached below the sink and opened the cabinet door getting a rag to dry off his hands.

He copied my stance and we stared at each other for a few moments. His green eyes were bright and it reminded me of the night that he, due to his speedy driving, unknowingly hit me with a rock.

I shook my head and kicked my foot of the counter, walking to the fridge to get some food.

"What are we having?" He asked peering over my shoulder, the warmth from his body radiating off from him in large waves. His deep, much too good for a17 year old masculine scent wafted around me, making me feel light headed. I gritted my teeth in annoyance for my feelings and shook my head for about the tenth time in the past hour.

**A turkey sandwich. Don't bitch.  
**

"oh," he laughed stepping aside so I could take the stuff out. "I wouldn't dare bitch."

_Good._ I made the sandwiches and we migrated to the living room where we watched some movies, killing time until the rest of the Cullens' returned.

Which, indeed, was at around noon.

"Izzy fizzy!" Emmett yelled as he ran into the room, scooping me up from the couch and rocking me to his chest, his chest rumbled against my side as he tried to smother his laughter.

"Let her go Emmett." Rosalie glared coming into the room. I started at her and was shocked at how un-Rosalie like she looked. She was wearing baggy sweats, which I'm positive belonged to Emmett, and a red tank top. Her normal styled to perfection hair was pulled into a sloppy ponytail on the top of her head, her face completely natural.

If anyone asked which Rosalie I preferred, I would have said this one before, but still…she was a bitch most of the time. So it was a close tie  
I was not the only one to notice her appearance, only Edward vocalized his shocked.

"Rosalie, you look like shi…uh...well..."He trailed off awkwardly looking away from her.

"I look like shit. I know Edward. You can blame the dumb fuck right here." She said stalking up to Emmett and smacking his forearm with a resounding thwack. I flinched as Emmett, yelped "Ow!" and nearly dropped me.

"He spilled pie on my clothes; luckily for him he had sweats in the car."

"Rosie! I said I was sorry." Emmett whined, setting me down and laying his chin on my head. I looked up with my eyes, slightly unnerved with how easily

Emmett was interacting with me.

"Hey Izzy!" Alice said with her brilliant smile tugging sleepy looking Jasper into the room.

"Hey." He yawned out pulling Alice to him as he plopped down into the couch. She laid her head on his shoulder as he immediately dozed off.

"How was your day?" Alice asked both Edward and me. Edward looked over to me and we shared a smile, before simultaneously shrugging towards Alice.

"It was okay."

We all turned our attention to the TV, Emmett pulling both Rosalie and me to the couch with Edward. I sat between both guys and Rosalie on his lap.

It was like they never left.

"Hi kids." Esme said walking into the room and kissing Edwards cheek and giving me a hug from above the couch.

"I hope you did okay yesterday without me." With our eyes still tuned on the TV, Edward and I nodded. You could hear the smile on her when she continued speaking.

"Well, that makes me glad; I'm going to start lunch." She turned and went to the kitchen. We resumed the movie and about ten minutes later, Esme cries out.

"Why is there marinara sauce on my ceiling?"

Edward started laughing into his fist, a small snort following.

"Are you sure?" Edward called back.

"Yes."

"Well, how about that." he said laughing silently.

I looked around and saw Alice, Emmett and Rosalie looking towards us.

My cheeks flushed and I looked down, itching to get up. I made a small move to do so, but Edwards hand gently grabbed mine, keeping me in place. I stared at him; my eye brows furrowed and tried to get up again, only to have him softly tighten his hold, anchoring me to the couch.

A few seconds of him still not looking over at me, I tried to pull my hand away, trying to be discreet as to not attract the attention of the others (who had now turned back to the movie). His hand didn't budge; instead he shifted his hold on mine and began to rhythmically run his thumb across my skin. Fire burned on my face and I looked away from him, my heart thumping wildly.

Questions attacked me all at once. Why was he holding on to me? Why was my heart thumping like a fat kid trying to run after a Twinkie? Why didn't he let me go? Why don't I pull away?

What the hell was wrong with me?

Why in the fucking hell do I like the feel of his skin on mine? Was I the only one who felt the soft current, which was always fucking present when I was near him?

…Only it wasn't soft now, with each passing seconds it was slowly becoming more powerful. I clenched my free hand, the desire to actually turn my hand and hold his increasing as well.

"Kids, lunch is ready!" Esme called out, the sudden tension that had been suffocating me dispersing as I, almost violently, jumped. The movement granting me both my hands back, taking the opportunity I hopped off the couch and all but ran to the kitchen to help Esme with taking to the food to the dinner table.

When I entered the kitchen the first thing I did was look up, I scanned the ceiling twice but couldn't find the offending stain.

Confused as hell I looked to Esme who smiled innocently.

"I must have been seeing things, dear."

I ate with the Cullens, slowly pushing my food around my plate. My thoughts from the living room still plaguing me. Instinctively I clenched the hand Edward had been holding, a tingling feeling passing by the remembrance.

I looked across the table and saw Edward laughing with Jasper about something.

Did he really feel the…the…what the fuck do I call it? The current? Zap? Spark? No, none of those really fit. Did he really feel the…humming? The slowly burning sensation? Hell if I know.

Looking at him right now, I seriously doubted he did. He didn't seem bothered by it at all. Carefree, was what I could say. To think, and accept, that he didn't feel it too stung more than it should.

But as Edward caught and held my gaze with a kind smile sent towards me. I didn't want to believe that I was the only one. As he winked at me with a smirk a second later, leaving me a blushing mess, I pretended that he did, in fact, feel it too.

* * *

**Lol that last sentence probably didn't need all those comma..i should probably know this because we reviewed commas in class but then again it was 6th period. i all i want is for the 55 minutes to past.  
I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS SHORT CHAPTER!  
I probably would have posted this about an hour earlier but i started watching videos on YouTube about breaking dawn part 1 bloopers. fucking rob is hilarious.  
OH MY GOD! HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THAT OTHER TRAILER FOR BREAKING DAWN TOO! :3 Edward wants to get it in with vamp Bella! IN THE SHOWER! lololol. i need to sleep.  
well watch that trailer its fucking funny.  
i swear on my iPod, (like Izzy i need my iPod to live) that i will have a longer chapter up by the 21st...of this month. i already have what i what i wanna write in my head but it still needs shit. :P  
BYE!  
**

_**Review please? :D**_

(by the way...does anyone say YOLO? because if you do, I shake my head at you and so does izzy, and edward. Emmett will probably yolo with you.)


	20. Chapter 20

**Tada! Here it is. chapter 20 wooooooop. anyway. I told you guys i'd have it up by today. i'm pretty fucking proud of myself too. .  
Anyway, i don't own anything except...a really messy room i'm scared to clean because some fucking giant ass spider might pop up and kill and you will never know what happens in any of my stories!:O  
the heat makes me hyper/ crazy...soo  
just start reading.**

* * *

"Have you guys chosen what you'll do?" Jasper asks the table as we all sat down; soon everyone was talking about what they wanted. It was volunteer week here at the lovely Forks High. This was to give us an opportunity to make our college applications more 'juicy'.

Alice, obviously, was going to volunteer at the mall. Both Jasper and Angela wanted to volunteer at the library, Rosalie at a car garage in P.A., as well as Emmett. Only to indulge with naughty fantasies though. Yuck.

Edward was undecided so far. He said his options were in a tie, so he didn't bother telling us what they were.  
I was sitting in between Angela and Edward; she was telling me a story about her little brothers. They had a water balloon fight wearing their cowboy costumes from last Halloween. While smiling at their antics, Edward nudges my shoulder.

"Want some?" He asks, motioning to his tray of food. Pepperoni pizza, carrots, greasy fries and some soda.  
I shook my head, despite the fact that those greasy fries were calling out to me.

"You sure?" Edward was eyeing me again, and I raised an eyebrow and nodded once more.

"Okay then." He murmured and turned back to Emmett. One last glance at the fries and I turned back towards Angela. A minute passes and my head turns to Edward. He was animatedly talking about something boy related with Emmett. Channeling my fucking ninja reflexes, I snatched a fry and popped it into my mouth.

'Shh' I mouth to Angela as she fights the desire to laugh.

She nods and continues talking and I listen while simultaneously snatching more fries.

When lunch ended, Edward didn't seem in the least surprised by his lack of fries. He's only connotation to knowing it was me, was to send me a knowing smile.

"C'mon." he says grabbing my hand and pulling me along towards class. It seems like he held my hand a few more seconds than necessary to get me to  
start walking, but I was, surprisingly, okay with that. His hand was almost hot compared to my cold one, it felt nice.  
**  
What's up? **I ask, bumping my hip to his to get his attention, as we walk to class in silence.  
He looks down at me with a soft smile.

"Oh," he sighs, "I'm just thinking about what I should choose for the volunteer thing. I mean its going to take up some of my time and I want to do something that I'll enjoy. You know?" I nod in understanding. The Cullens' apparently didn't have to do this back at their old school.

"What are you going to do?"  
**  
About what?**Edward rolls his eyes at me after reading and I swear I almost heard him mutter, "Scatterbrain."

"For volunteer week. You didn't mention anything at lunch. I'm curious as to what the elusive _Bella _Swan is going to do for the betterment of mankind." His cocky and somewhat sarcastic tone did not sit well with me.

Smacking him across the arm for the 'Bella' comment, I stuck my tongue at him and typed:  
**No altruistic motives here. We're volunteering because it's mandatory. I'm not doing it for the 'betterment of man kind'.  
**  
"Techni-fucking-calities. Answer my question." He smirked.  
**  
I usually just volunteer over at the animal shelter in Seattle. They have Boo there.  
**  
"Boo?" Edward frowns at me.

I smile widely, Boo never failing to make me smile. He was a puppy that was found wandering across the streets before he was taken in to the shelter. The owner, Maxine, had taken a liking to him and decided to keep him as the shelters pet of honor. Or at least that's what she says. Boo was too cute a dog to not love.

He was a new born when he was taken in and he was steadily growing. I'm sure he'd keep on growing for a few more months considering he's a mix of Siberian Husky and Akita.

Boo was one of the reasons for why I kept on going every year, I used to visit him often but then it kept getting harder to do. The shelter was located across the city from my studio, making it hard to get my music fix and be off to Boo in reasonable hours.  
**  
He's my puppy. **I type getting back to focus.

"You have a puppy?" Edward replies sounding shocked.  
**  
For all intents and purposes yes. Boo is the shelters pet of honor.  
**  
"Pet of honor?"  
**  
Yeah, he's not up for adoption, but they won't put him down either.  
**  
"That's nice. What do you do at the shelter?" At this point we were in class taking our seats; Mr. Banner had yet to arrive to class.  
**  
I usually wash them, take them for a walk. I make them have fun. The shelter doesn't have a lot of staff so sometimes a few dogs are left alone in their cages. Mostly the chill dogs.  
**  
He laughed, "Chill dogs?"  
**  
Yeah! Don't laugh, you know those dogs that don't bark a lot and usually are just lying around? Those are chill dogs. Besides Boo, I usually help out with those. They get used to being in their cages so it takes some coaxing to get them out. They're super sweet though.  
**  
"You really like dogs, don't you?" He said with a chuckle.  
**  
How could you tell? **I type just as Mr. Banner beats the bell by a second.

"Just a hunch." Edward whispers in my ear as the teacher brings the class to order. I smile at him, shaking my head.

}i{ (IT'S A BUTTERFLY!)

When school is over, there are tables in the quad filled with registration papers for volunteer week, having ditched P.E. I was the first in line to get a packet and I decided to be a Good Samaritan and got enough for my friends.

"Aw, thanks Iz!" Angela said as I passed them out to them.

Emmett took me into his arms and gave me a noogie, one word: ow.

They all laughed at me and I glared, which caused more laughter. Assholes.  
Angela soon left claiming that her mom and dad were going to a work thing so she had to take care of his little brothers again. I gave her a hug and told her to text me when she had a chance.

The rest of us split up, "See you at home." Being said to one another before we went to our respective cars.

"Have you told her that you live with us?" Edward asked as we walked over to our cars.

I looked over to him and hesitantly shook my head.

"Are you ashamed of telling people that you do?" A look being close to hurt crossed his face and I rapidly shook my head again. I wasn't ashamed, I really wasn't. I just didn't think it was news worthy to tell Angela or anyone really, that I was temporarily living with the Cullens'.  
_  
Yeah…living with the new kids wasn't news worthy. Dumbass_my brain voice scoffed at me.

"Then why haven't you told her? You know you're welcome to have friends over. Esme would be thrilled." He said his voice soft. I looked up from the ground and smiled in return, Esme would be thrilled. I have a feeling she was the perfect host.  
**  
I'm not ashamed; it just hasn't come up yet. I'll tell her when it does. I swear.** This seemed to appease him because he flashed me a smile and let the subject drop.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

"When does the volunteer work begin?" Esme asked Rosalie as they chopped up some mushrooms for dinner.

"They want us to start next week but they also said we were more then welcome to start this week as well. I need to go look at some shops before I do though. I want to work somewhere where things get done." Rosalie explained, taking the sliced mushrooms and going to the sink to rinse them. I was on desert duty, ever since I started eating with them the first time Esme has tried her best to keep me involved with the family.

Alice was making a pitcher of peach iced tea.

"Alice do you know where you want to work?"

"Um, I'm not sure…I was thinking the mall at first but it now seems a bit impersonal. I would love working there sure, but I kinda want to work at the church now, the nursery specifically." A tender look appeared on Alices' face.

"That's a sweet idea darling. I'm sure you'll be great at it. The kids will love you!" Even with my back turned I knew Esme was smiling brightly. The joy in her voice was palpable.

Their conversation faded away as I continued looking through the desert book Esme had offered me. I was conflicted between Banana Foster and Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake. I have never had either, so just reading the ingredients was making my mouth water.

"How's it coming along?" I was spooked by Esmes voice at my side. I smiled and nodded, motioning to her my options.

"Oh these are so good. You have great taste Izzy." Her mother tone made feel warm.

"What about you?" She asked after a minute, I looked back up, my eyes having gone back to the cheesecake recipe.

The confusion in my face prompted her to continue, "Do you know what you'll do for volunteer week?"

'Oh' I mouth as she began to duck into the cabinets. She brought out a spring form dish and I knew she had seen that I was leaning towards the cheesecake for dessert.

At her look of expectancy I continued on my phone.  
**  
I was thinking about working over at the animal shelter in Seattle. I've been going since my freshman year.  
**  
"Aw! That's so nice. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. I love animals." Esme said her eyes bright and happy.  
A little over half an hour later dinner was ready and we were all eating in the dining room.

(.-.)(._.)('.')(^_^)

Later that night I turn on my laptop and send Maxine an email, she responds immediately telling me that she was happy I was returning and sent me a picture of Boo.

He's gotten so big! The little black and white fur ball I had last seen looked so different yet so familiar.

I was excited for volunteer week. We made plans for me to go in on Wednesday and then bid each other good night. It was still early, 9:45PM read my cell phone and I was too hyped up with the thoughts of the fun Boo and I would have to go to sleep.

A damper on my thoughts crept in when I realized that I'd need to record the song I had sung on Saturday just before Edward found me. I remembered all the words, note by note, breath by breath. Nonetheless I got up and wrote down my lyrics, feeling myself becoming detached so the too meaning of my song wouldn't hurt me. Afterwards I made notes for the instruments I had heard in my head.

When I was finished it was five minutes before midnight.

My sleep was restless and horrible, just like it usually was, that night.

(.)(.)(.)

I left the Cullen abode early that morning, and when I got to school I turned in my packet, Mrs. Cope saying I was the first person to turn it in. Whoop-di-fucking-do.

The school was almost deserted at this time so instead of doing something productive I decided to go back to my car and play some Temple Run.

"Izzy?" I jump the familiar voice cutting into the serene quietness.

'What are you doing here?' I ask Angela as she walks to me, tucking in some stray hair behind her ear.  
"I woke up early so I figured I'd best start my day." I couldn't place the look on her face as I looked around for her car.

"I walked to school." She explained when I didn't find it. I raised an eyebrow. She lived about thirty minutes away from school.

She laughed, "I got a good night sleep. I felt hyper so I figured I'd burn some off by walking." I nodded still feeling a bit suspicious, but let it drop.  
"Are you going to Boo?" Angela asked once we got inside the car, both of us sighing as the heater turned on. My smile was her answer.

"Um, Izzy?" Her tone made me look up from my iPod. Once she knew she had my attention she started looking really nervous. I waited patiently for her to gather herself.

"Uh…"She looked away, causing me to start to worry. Opening up a note on my phone I typed, **hey what's wrong, **before reaching across the console to  
gently touch her elbow.

She stared at me for a second before she said, "…I got in trouble."

It was my turn to stare, waiting for the part where I understood her distress.  
"I can't," She sighed looking at me with an almost tortured look on her face. She took a deep breath and pushed back her shoulders.

"I ditched class yesterday and the school called my house. My mom and dad were furious so they said that I couldn't go with you to the shelter.  
'Oh.' I mouthed. Remember how last year she said she was going to volunteer with me after I took her to meet Boo.  
**  
It's okay. I'm not mad I swear I 'm not. Maybe next year. You can still come and visit Boo.  
**  
"Thanks for understanding Izzy." Angela said suddenly pulling me into a tight hug. _Must be PMS_I frowned as I hugged her back.

A loud knock on my window broke us apart. I looked over and saw Emmett's excited face peering into the car.

"Girl on Girl! Yeah buddy!" I rolled my eyes and silently laugh before opening the door.  
As soon as I was out Emmett picked me up and started swinging me around. It was a new thing he started doing, this was our routine he proclaimed, and  
no one goes against Emmett when he proclaims something.

"I'm sorry my boyfriend is an idiot." Rosalie said and although she was on her cell phone I knew she was talking to me. _That's the longest sentence she's said to me without glaring._

"You know you love me Rosie. Don't be mean." Emmett said, his voice becoming uncharacteristically soft as he spoke to her.

"I do love you, but I'm also being honest." She smirked at him but the look in her eyes agreed with her words.

"What up?" An arm landed on my shoulder, tilting my head I saw that it was Edward, Jasper right behind him.

"Izzy was trying to get to me to elope with her but I had to tell her that my heart only belongs to my Rosie." Emmett said releasing me and pushing me  
further towards Edward.

"I'm sorry Izzy. But our love can never be!" Emmett ran to Rosalie and threw her over his shoulder and started running somewhere. With a smiling bored look Rosalie started beating his back with her fist, yelling at Emmett to let her go.

"Morning." Edward said steadying me, his hands on my shoulders. I smile and mouth, 'Morning,' before leaning to the side and repeating it to Jasper.

"Morning Izzy." He says looking around, his eyes landing on Angela and Alice.

"Hey did you do the homework?" He says turning back to me.

I frown getting my phone, **we had homework?  
**  
Jasper laughs, "I'll take that as a no. I'll go ask Angela."

"So, last night I finished my half of the bio project. Have you even started yours?" Edward teases. Immaturely I stick my tongue out **I've been done with my share. Where have you been slow-poke?  
**  
"Whatever, anyway… want to work on it this week and finish the rest together?" He asks walking backwards away from me, as the bell rang. I nod and get my back out my car.

I turn around, expecting to find Angela but she wasn't there. With a shake of my head I head to class and the day goes by laboriously slow.  
When I get to the Cullen house, I realize that I have a new multimedia message. Upon opening it up I start to laugh when I see Boo jumping around, in the background I could hear Maxine saying in a cooing voice, "Izzy is coming tomorrow Boo! Aren't we excited?"

Boo barks jumping up on his hind legs and bringing his front paws together starting to 'beg' just like I taught him last year. The view goes blurry for a second before the kind brown eyes of Maxine are staring back at me.

"Can't wait for tomorrow Izzy! Apparently neither can Boo." Her laugh and Boo's relentless barks is the last thing I hear before the video ends.

The smile on my face doesn't stop for the rest of the afternoon, my mood becoming increasingly giddy as tomorrow gets closer.

It's around about 5 when I get the idea to make a playlist for Boo, he loves playing fetch with music on. He likes pop.

As I walk around my room I start humming a song, feeling miffed that I can't remember what it's called. It's when I'm on iTunes looking at the songs that were sixty- nine cents that I have that 'ah-ha!' moment.

I quickly purchase the song and start acting like Alice, jumping around in my room. My heart pounding as I got excited to hear it. I can't believe that I forgot  
this song.

I put on my DJ headphones, putting the volume on high and stood in the middle of the room, the beginning note starting.

_**Yeah**_

_**You are my fire  
The one desire  
Believe when I say  
I want it that way**_

I started snapping my fingers, moving to the music.

_**But we are two worlds apart  
Can't reach to your heart  
When you say  
That I want it that way**_

I close my eyes doing corny dance moves that no one should try to replicate.

_**Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake  
Tell me why  
I never wanna hear you say  
I want it that way**_

_**Am I your fire  
Your one desire  
Yes I know it's too late  
But I want it that way**_

_**Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake  
Tell me why  
I never wanna hear you say  
I want it that way**_

I started giggling, but I'd be damned if I stopped singing right now. This was my jam.

_**Now I can see that we're falling apart  
From the way that it used to be, yeah  
No matter the distance  
I want you to know  
That deep down inside of me...**_

_**You are my fire  
The one desire  
You are  
You are, you are, you are**_

_**Don't wanna hear you  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake  
(Don't wanna hear you say)  
I never wanna hear you say  
Oh Yeah  
I want it that way**_

**Tell me why**  
**Ain't nothin' but a heartache**  
**Tell me why**  
**Ain't nothin but a mistake**  
**Tell me why**  
**I never wanna hear you say**  
**(Don't wanna hear you say)**  
**I want it that way**

I was fucking sure that if I didn't stop spinning I would fall down but it seemed to fit with the mood. I clench my fist and bring it to my chest, shaking my head with more fervor that I should have been shaking my head at.

Out of habit I open my eyes and almost fall when I see Edward at the doorway of my room. His face starting to turn pink as he tired not to laugh, his shoulders were shaking and I quickly took off my headphones, letting them hand around my neck.

The song kept playing, the only noise in my room.

_**Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake**_

"I was just coming to tell you that dinner was ready. I'll see you downstairs." Edward said swallowing his laughter and then continuing to stare at me.

_**Tell me why  
I never wanna hear you say  
I want it that way**_

"Oh and Bella?" He said stepping away from the doorway.

_**'Cause I want it that way**_

As my mouth drops open at the fact that he sang the last lyric, he laughs and shakes his head. I could hear him laughing all the way down the stairs.  
But as I take my headphones from around my neck, my face burning with embarrassment I think, _He can sing._

(U.U) (O.O) (V.V) (^.^)

Dinner was mortifying at the very least. Throughout the meal, Edward would hum the chorus and look directly at me. So I may or may not have smacked him across the back of the head, A la Rosalie style, when I helped Esme clear the table. His laugh sounded out as I went into the kitchen, I managed to hear Jasper ask what was so funny.

Edward was quick on his feet; he said he remembered a pick up… thus started Emmett on a roll of corny pickup lines, alternating between Rosalie and me to practice them on.

"Em, incase you're thinking about leaving me, shut up." Rosalie said, trying not to laugh at his latest pick up. I was sitting next to a sleepy Alice, her head on my shoulder as she looked at my hand. Besides my own, Edward's was 'the only pair of musical hands' she's looked at. The very tips of my fingers were  
calloused, from all my guitar picking, which was as much as an annoyance to her as it was fascinating.

"I'm going to give you a manicure." Alice murmured, as she let go of my hand and reach up to rub her eyes like a child. I smiled at her action and nodded.

"Darlin' you ready for bed?" Jasper said pausing his video game as he heard her yawn.

"Mmmhmm" She answered and sat forward with her closed, extending her arms.  
With a deep chuckle Jasper got up and came to Alice, lifting her into his arms easily.

"I think we're gonna call it a night. See you guys tomorrow." He said holding her closer as Alice rested her head on his shoulder.

I followed them with my eyes as they walked out of the room, just barely hearing Jasper's low tones indicating that he was talking to Alice. I smiled thinking they had beautiful relationship, his calm demeanor matched perfectly with her adorably zany self.

The couch tilted down as someone sat down beside me. I turned my head and saw Edward staring at me with a serious expression.  
"Want me to carry you to your room as well?"

I glared but the image of his arms holding me made me blush, so I ducked my head.

He laughed. _Asshole._

As Emmett starting getting frisky with Rosalie I turned on the TV. It was 11 right now, so there'd be something on adult swim.  
I smiled when I saw FullMetal Alchemist. I watched like my life depended on it, the episode was further in the season but I've watched enough to know what was going on.

"What the fuck?" Edward muttered more than once.

"Wait, wait, wait. Explain this to me. Is Al a human in the armor or not?"  
**  
He lost his body but Ed was able to merge Al's soul into the suit of armor. Now shut up.**  
And he did shut up, we watched a few more random shows and then at 1am we decided to call it a night.

"Hey Bella?" Edward says as we get to the third floor.

I stare blankly causing him to sigh,

"_Izzy_, I was wondering…I wouldn't want to intrude in your space but…I was wondering that if it was alright with you, could I volunteer at the shelter? I've  
been thinking about and it sounds like fun."

I furrow my brows in confusion.  
**  
Yeah, it's fine with me. I don't own the place. **

"Yeah but you're a private person. It's your space, no need for me to go ruining a place that's close to you." He said as he pasted back my phone.

**Dude, honestly it's fine. All I need is Boo and I'm good to go. Go ahead and volunteer, I'll help you with the packet if you want. **  
With a smile Edward said, "That'd be great."  
**  
Dork. I'll see you later today at a normal time, night Edward.  
**  
"Good night _Bella_." He said with a smirk and I rolled my eyes.

As I opened my door and got inside, he called me out again.  
"Oh Bella, I was also wondering…Are you related to Yoda? Because yo dalicious."

I let out a small laugh, shaking me head at him. With a crooked smile he whispered good night once more and closed his door, leaving me in the hallway, feeling like I was in a stereotypical romance novel, slightly breathless and reeling. _ What an Asshole._

* * *

_**Soooo there ya have it. . i love that last pick up. its so funny to be.  
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I love boo. he is my sometimes dream dog. but then he's not because bigs dogs scare me and yeah...i feel like they'll kill me if i get them mad. :p**  
_

_**i'm paranoid.  
So as i mentioned some chapters ago, i have a new story i'm working on, it's called Under My Skin.  
**_

The bugs. They were mad, and now they were growing. They didn't like to be touched, especially by a stranger. How many times had that boy touched her arms? Three? Four times?  
Her skin felt like it was crawling, restless. She stumbled and was brought out of her thoughts as she fell into mud the impact making her hair clip to fall to the floor, releasing her hair in a cascade around her shoulders. The tips now covered in mud as well. She chocked on her tears and sat on her bottom. Blinded by her tears and urge to make the bugs leave.

_**:D Tell me what you think about **__**this chapter**__**and **__**Under My Skin :P  
**_

_**REVIEW PLEASE:D  
**_


	21. Chapter 21

Finally, it was finally the day I was going to go to Boo. School seemed to drag on and on and I would say fuck it all to hell if it wasn't for the fact that I knew Maxine would beat me a new one if I left school early.

She was the type of person that could go on hour long rants about how this is a new generation, new world, we the kids of tomorrow need to take the opportunities that were granted to us. I would know this because she once gave me an hour long lecture when I skipped a day of school to be with Boo after he accidentally got out of his cage and had had his paw ran over by a speeding car. Thankfully he was rushed to surgery and he was all better within the weeks.

The final bell rang and I all but ran out of my class and towards the locker room to change before I jogged to my car. My excitement bubbling to the max.

The car ride seemed long and slow, so I tried to go over the speed limit as much as I could allow myself so I wouldn't get pulled over.  
Maxine was waiting for me outside and the crazy lady was jumping up and down with joy when she saw my car pull up to the shelter.

I smiled widely and got out, waving to Maxine as I got closer. She pulled me into a hug and I shook my head. She was like Esme in the way that a hug was the best way to say hello.

"It's been so long!" She says, swaying us side to side "You would not believe how excited he's been for today."

I smile at her, "me too" Maxine had a deaf cousin, so it was easier to just sign out my words with her.

"C'mon." She said taking my hand and leading me to shelter; it was exactly the same as the last time I was here. I heard many dogs barking, but even through the noise I could hear Boo.

I look over to Maxine and she knew what I wanted. She let go of my hand and I went straight towards the sound of Boo's barking.

"Hi!" I mouth excitedly to Boo when I get to his cage, he keeps on barking his tail wagging rapidly, and he jumps up against the side of it. Quickly I unlock the door and Boo squeezes through and jumps on me.

I fall to the floor and begin to laugh out loud as he starts to lap at my face. I crinkle my nose and think _Ew, _before I push him off of me.

"Good boy." I mouth to myself and Boo; I rub his back and as he rolls over to show me his tummy which I begin to scratch as well. Maxine lets have each other for a few more minutes before she gets down to 'bidness' - as she says - and makes me do the bitch work. She says I have to earn my way to Boo and fucking hell if it wasn't the perfect way to make me work.

I cleaned the cages, refilled the food and water bowls and now it was time to wash them. The first few dogs were just too cute, and it was bittersweet because they were only cooperating with me so well was because they craved the attention.

They wouldn't keep it away on purpose. I gave each dog a kiss as I walked them over to the backyard. They would stay here to exercise, get their dose of sunlight and walk around with some freedom until I finished the rest of the dogs. And considering how Boo was…they'd be there for a while.

Boo knew he had my love. So the son of a bitch was making it difficult to wash him because he just wanted to play with me.

I finally had enough shampoo on Boo that he was all sudsy, just the way he liked it, when I heard Edward's voice.

I looked over to the clock on the wall and saw that he was an hour and a half late. _Did he get lost?_ I started to feel bad, considering that I could have waited for him to follow me.

Boo suddenly jumped in the tub and when he landed he sent a splash of water over the side and I ended soaked from the just below my boobs, and to my knees. _Fuck my life_. I do a groan-laugh as Boo does it again. I let go of him for a second to wipe off the water on my face, the second splash having gone higher than the first.

I hear the door open and my eyes widen as I know without a doubt that Boo has it heard as well. I reach over to grab a hold of him but he's all slippery and jumps out of the tub. The slick fucker that he is disappears through the doorway and I take a full second to get into action. I jump to my feet and run to where Boo surely was.

I trip along the way but I get my footing and arrive at the lobby just in time to see Boo jump on Edward and bring him down. Slapping my hand to my mouth I watch and try my hardest not to laugh as Edward lets out the most girlish sound I've ever heard from a man.

"Boo!" Maxine calls out as she came from the back to see the scene before us. She chokes out a laugh and we look at each other before we go over to the boys.

Maxine and I grab Boo and drag him off of Edward, who immediately scoots away but stays on the floor with his eyes wide. I make sure that Maxine has held onto to Boo securely before I let go and go over to Edward.

I think he was in shock.

"Edward?" I mouth when I kneel in front of him.

"Are you okay?" I ask looking him over to look for wounds. I knew Boo wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally but he sometimes was just too hyper for his own good.

"Was that Boo?" Edward says suddenly making me jump, his tone accusing.

"That was your puppy? That was not a puppy, that thing was a monster!" I laugh at him, Boo could look scary but he was like Emmett. A totally goofball. I roll my eyes at him and stand up, offering him a hand. I was more than shocked when Edward pulled me into a hug; it was on instinct that I put my arms around him.

"I could have died." The complete and utter truth that rang from his words makes me laugh. I hold on tighter as I keep on laughing, unable to stop. Soon I feel Edward start to laugh as well, his husky and deep laugh making me laugh even harder when I think back to the girly scream he let out.

"Alright, alright. Time to get back to work." Maxine tells us and we break apart still chuckling. With a smile to Edward, I go back to Boo and finish him up.

* * *

It was time for my break, and I found myself looking for Edward. After a few minutes I found him outside in the alley. He looked angry.

I clear my throat to let him know he wasn't alone. He lets out a heavy sigh and with his head still against the brick wall, he looks over to me.

"Hey."

I frown and walk to his side. He was laughing about an hour ago.

**Are you okay? **

Shaking his head he says, "It's just becoming one of _those _weeks." I kept my face blank letting him continue.

"I'm sleepy and school's kicking my ass, and apparently dogs don't like me as much as I thought they did."

**Boxer?  
**

"Boxer." He says giving me my phone back.

**Boxer is a temperamental dog. He didn't like me at first either. You can sleep at home and what's up with school? **I hand him my phone as I look at his face.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling. Boxer likes to swipe at people. You'd think he was a cat. **  
**

"I dunno. School's just all up on me right now. I don't understand what Mr. Yeh taught this week and I'm too stubborn to go and ask for help. But the test is on Friday and it sucks. I made a bet with Emmett that I'd have a better report card this semester."

I roll my eyes and grab his hand, leading him back to the shelter and to Boo.

He resists my pull when he see's Boo get up from the cage floor.

**Let's take him for a walk.** With a hesitant look he nods.

Maxine gives me a creeper look as I tell her that Edward and I are going to walk Boo around the neighborhood.

"He's not going to attack me again is he?" the sarcasm was not loss on me, just like my middle finger was not lost on him either. It wasn't raining today, which made Boo happy, which made me happy.

I let – make – Edward take the leash as we walk. The town bustling with cars and people outside.

**I can help you, if you want. ** I have to bump my phone to his temple to get his attention. He seriously thinks my dogs going to attack.

Edward gives me a genuine smile, "Thanks. That'd be amazing. Is tonight too soon? I'm behind…really behind."

**It's fine. Just call me over to your room when you wanna start. Okay?**  
"Yeah. Again thanks Bella. You're going to be my life saver." I shake my head at him and take control of the leash, letting the length of it become longer, so Boo could walk farther ahead of us. He was sniffing the shit out of everything.

"Your place is here huh?" I look away from my puppy and frown over to Edward, silently asking him to continue

"Your uh…studio? Its here in town, right?" I nodded slowly.

"Is it close by?" I blink slowly and shake my head no.

"Across town from here" I mouth.

"…Do you think…" he started slowly, stepping behind me to let some man pass by, "I could see it?"

It was like I was on autopilot as I shake my head no. My brain locked out any images of Edward at my studio, my solace, my safe harbor. I had let Jimmy and the equipment movers go in there but that was before I had turned it into what it was now.

Jimmy hardly ever bothered me and somehow I knew that Jimmy knew I needed that place to be my own. When he did do his random check ups he never actually step foot in my studio. He would stay at the thresh hold for a minute or two before wishing me a good day and closes the door behind him.

With a chuckle – and no sounds of being hurt or insulted- Edward said "I have to be V.I.P?" I hand the leash back over to him and get my phone out once more.

**Yep. You may only enter if you are a vip.  
**

"You mean V.I.P?" I smirk over to him.

**No vip. Not V.I.P. vip. You have to be vip to enter.  
**

"So in other words I have to be pretty fucking special, right?"

**Pretty fucking special, indeed.**

* * *

Dinner had ended around 8:45 in the Cullen home. Edward had tried to get me to tutor him as soon as we got home from the shelter but considering he looked dead on his feet I told him I'd tutor him after dinner only if he went and took a nap.

I half expected him to argue but I held in my laughter as his face shined with gratitude.

"You are an angel." He mumbles shocking me once more by bringing me into another hug. My head rested just below his jaw and for briefest of seconds I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Good Bella. Bella is very nice." He mumbled into my hair, his breath on my scalp causing me to shiver. Odd, right? It was even weirder that as he tightened the hug for a few more seconds I felt content to being hugged.

I normally didn't like hugs; I mostly tolerated them because God thinks it's funny to surround me with a bunch of huggers

"Come get me when it's dinner time, yeah?" He mumbles once more and I breathe in the scent that is only Edward and nod.

A few –well two, I suppose- things were certain as Edward climbed up the flight of stairs. He was a hugger when he was tired and that he smelled fucking fantastic.

**Wanna tutor me now so I don't end up working at McDonalds and end up getting punched in the face because I got some dudes order wrong when he specifically asked for no tomatoes or pickles? – E**

**That shit sounds intense, you sure you wanna miss out on that? –I**

**Har. Har. If I wanted to get punched in the face I'll go to a mosh pit. Why I? –E **

**Why I, what? –I**

**That! The –I -E**

**._. Because that's my name…Izzy…Edward did you recently get hired by McDonalds and that was why that scenario was so life-like? –I **

**-_- YOUR A HERP DERP! – E**

**-_- I may be a herp derp but at least I can spell. You're, by the way…what the fuck is a herp derp anyway? – I**

**Honestly? I have no idea…I've probably been on facebook, twitter and tumblr for to long now. I'm glad you accepted that YOU'RE a herp derp now. – E**

**I'm glad you went back to the fourth grade and learned how to use contractions again ;D You have a facebook, twitter and a tumblr? Wow, no wonder the dude punched you in the face ;p – I **

**ANSVUARYAIOHASADIP shut up. Herp derp. This is verbal abuse is not what I'm paying you for. –E**

**-_- you're not even paying me at all. And if you were then where would you have gotten the money. Obviously getting some mans order wrong is an offense worth getting fired for. Now who's the herp derp! – I**

**-_- I am not amused. – E**

**Come to my room now please. I need to extract the smarts from your brain. Haven't you heard? I'm a zombie not a herp derp like you. – E **

**Really now? A zombie, I would have pegged you for something else. Maybe a vampire. –I**

**Why? Because of ruggedly handsome face? –E**

**No, you just seem like a guy who would pull off glitter. –I**

He didn't reply and I was laughing my ass off. Edward so much more fun to text after he took a nap and was fed.

There was a knock on my door and before I could get out of my bed, Edward comes barging with a look of disbelief and annoyance.

"Where in the fuck did you hear that vampires sparkle?"

"um, MTV?" I answer trying not to laugh.

He snorts and comes over to my bed, flopped down on his back, next to me where I sat Indian style.

"Please, all they ever show on MTV are girls getting pregnant, sex topics and how to get skin and liver cancer."

I laugh at all his references because they weren't far off base. MTV is worse than Disney channel when it airs a new movie. It's on all the fucking time and all the other movies – or in MTVs case shows – disappear forever.

I looked over to him and say "I said glitter. Not sparkle."

He rolls his eyes and says "Whatever. I still wouldn't do either one of those things. I'm a thug."

"Thug life?" I say.

"Thug life." He says, bumping his fist to his chest twice before sending me a peace sign. I laugh and push him away by pressing my hands against his face.

"Mmm" he was muffled by my hands.

"Hmmm?" I taunt him, pressing harder on his face.

"mmhmmm" I couldn't understand a word he was saying, but his lips shot ticklish vibrations up my arms and I loosened my grip just a bit.

Like a ninja Edward captures my hands and pulls them off his face. Losing the only stability I had, I fall face first into the comforter. It's quiet before Edward starts laughing at me and I blush at the sound. _Jerk_

I get up and reach behind me, hitting him in the face with my pillow with as much force as I could muster. It must have caught him by surprise, apparently he moved to his knees in his fit of laughter, because next thing I knew he was falling off the bed and onto the floor.

He let out a groan a few seconds later. I get down to my stomach and looking over the edge of the bed.

Edward was holding his hip with one hand and my math book in the other.

"I think that was the realm of zombies and sparkly vampires telling us it's time to get me smart."

* * *

"By George I think I've got it." Edward says as he finishes the problem I made him do after I did a few examples. I made sure I went slowly so he could understand the steps.

"My herp derp you rock, you really do." He says looking over to me from his place on the floor. He was leaning against the side of the bed and I was still on my bed. My arms crossed under my chin. It was really comfortable at the moment.

"You're welcome." I mouth as I look over his shoulder to check his work. Edward got silent but I didn't mind…or at least I didn't until I really that he was looking at me.

I slowly turn my head back over to him, shocked at how close he really was to me. Our noses were probably two inches apart.

"What time is it?" Edward says never looking away from me. I swallow thickly and shrug my shoulders, my heart began to slowly beat faster and I felt a slow blush creep up my cheeks.

The last time I checked the time it was around 11:15.

My eyes threaten to flutter closed as I feel one of Edwards hand cup my cheek.

"It's so warm." He whispers, his breath fanning over me and once more the blush on my cheeks increased. He chuckled lightly at this.

The air began to shift and it felt wired, alive, and electric. It felt amazing.

I close my eyes relishing in the feel that was surround me, a second later I feel Edward begin to move. Without a real command on my part, I tilted my head up towards where I instinctively knew where Edward would be.

I hear Edward shift his body more towards me. My mind swirled, consumed in everything and nothing around me.

"Bella…" it was quieter than a whisper as if he just breathed my name…I mean…that name.

I take a shaky breath, feeling strangely impatient and anxious.

I could feel the heat from Edward just rolling off of him.

BAM!

I jump away from the sound, my eyes popping open with my heart racing.

I look towards Edward and see a look on his face I couldn't describe, his eyes were closed and he let out a long slow sigh. Keeping his eyes closed he reaches down and picks up something.

_The textbook_ I find out as he finally opens his eyes, meeting my gaze and places the book beside me on the bed.

His eyes dark with emotion, the green of his eyes bright.

"At least I'll past the test." He says and I frown at the way he formed his sentence. He looks down and reaches to my phone.

"Its 11:48"

"Oh…" I mouth, getting up and sitting back against my legs. I feel my back ache and I twist and turn hearing a satisfying crack.

He laughs at my face but I don't give a shit. It felt good.

"Why is your room colder than mine?" he suddenly asks getting up from the floor and looking around for something.

"Ah!" he says and going over to my desk. I watch as he picks up my TV control and turns on my TV before changing it to adult swim.

I give him a look as he glances back at me.

"Shut up." He mutters. "It's getting good." I look over and see Ed and Al Elric talking to Winry about repairing Ed's automail.

I sit back on my bad, getting comfy before looking over to Edward and patting the bed.

He smiles and walks over and does the same thing as I did.

We spend the rest of the episode in silence, the only noise coming from the TV and Edward – the one sitting next to me- laughing.

* * *

_It's dark and it's raining. I'm alone and I'm cold. Where am I?_

"Help." It's a whimper that's carried over the sound of the rain. I can't see in front of me due to the pouring rain, but I follow the sound of the voice anyway.

"I need help."  


_I'm coming, I try to say, but I can't talk. The tone of the voice is sad and it makes me desperate. My walk turns to a run and I look around trying to find something to know I'm going in the right direction.  
_

_"Will you help me?"  
_

_I'm tying to, I think as I keep running, reaching up to wipe my face from the rain. When I remove my hand, I stop running. I stop walking, I stop breathing.  
_

_My heart takes over and it pumps crazier than ever before. My vision swirls and threatens to become darker than the world around me.  
_

_The door, the door that was in front of me was one I've seen before. At the warehouse.  
_

_I'm frozen and I can't even blink, the rain is rushing down my face.  
_

_"Please help me." And I'm suddenly terrified of what I'll see when, and if, I open the door.  
_

_"I promise." The ice in my bones melts away and I fall to my knees. The voice that was so familiar. Slowly, I get up the desire to hear the voice, to know that I didn't just make it up pushing me forward to the door. I look down when it doesn't open right away and see mud, my breathing pick up and force it to slow back down. _

_With my dirty old vans, I kick the mud away.  
_

_"You won't leave me?"  
_

_"Never." Again, I didn't make it up. He's here. Behind the door. With all my might I push the door open.  
_

_My mouth drops open. Edward, the second voice was Edwards and he's talking to…well he was talking to me. A younger me…  
Her clothes – my clothes - were dirty and her hair –my hair- looked like it desperately needed to be washed and combed out of that horrid messy ponytail.  
_

_She was in the middle of the room with her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth.  
_

_"Help me. Don't leave." She whimpered extending her hands out in the air, like a child would to their mother when they wanted to be held.  
Dream Edward walks gracefully to me, uh her. He walks over to her and wraps his arm around her tiny waist. He sits himself down on the floor and soothingly rubs her back.  
_

_"I'll always help. I'll never leave. I swear." The scene would have been heartwarming if it wasn't for two things. One, Edward was talking to dream me and two, Edward was looking at _me_. His eyes shined brighter than they did earlier today, the truth of his words shaking me to my core,  
_

_"I swear."  
_

My eyes pop wide open, and I'm gasping for air. I feel phantom tears creeping up but I blink them away anyway. I look over to my iHome and see that it's 6:34AM. As in, in the morning.

I stare not believing what I was seeing. Because if it was then it would mean that I slept for more than 4-5 hours for the first time in a long time. The bed shifts next to me and I look over to see Edward sleeping next to me.

_"Please help me."  
_

_"I promise."_

I look out my window-wall and see that the night was clear, looking up at the moon I suddenly remember a note that I played in my head a while back at school. Edward shifts again and I look over to him again, my notes keep playing in my head, I bite my lip and slowly get out of bed.

I grab my notebook from my desk and sit against the window-wall. Using the moonlight to help me see as I write out the chords and lyrics down.

The order at which they were coming to me didn't make sense but I wrote them down anyway. I kept working gradually fixing the song, improving a note here and changing another there, by the time Edwards phone buzzed on the floor from besides my bed, I was finished with the song, well partially finished anyway.

I had versions of the same song on a span of 5 pages and there were just a few parts that didn't flow enough for me to say it was ready for me to record.

"What are you doing?" Edward says making me look up and close my notebook. His voice was full of sleep as he reached up to rub his eye with the heel of his palm.

I shake my head at him and stand up going around the room to start getting ready for the day.

"Thanks for letting crash here. I don't even remember when I knocked out." He says, and I hear the bed shifting again. I look over my shoulder from my place at the closet and send him a smile and a nod of my head.

"I'll see you in a bit." He says walking out the door, "Oh and make sure you don't use up all the hot water." I chuckle silently for a moment, before I sober up and look over at my desk. My notebook lying there, it felt like it was taunting me.

The song…not the notebook.

That'd just be crazy of it was the notebook.

I shake my head again and sigh while looking away. I get my black skinnies, grey undershirt and my black and purple plaid shirt. I bunch them all up in my hands and throw them to my bed before going to take a quick shower.

I decided to be kind though and not the pain in the ass like the immature brat in me wanted to be, so I made sure to use tepid water.

It's 7 on the dot right now and I'm dressed and ready to go but I'm pacing in front of my desk looking at my notebook while chewing on my bottom lip. If I take it to school that's all I'll be thinking about…but if I don't take it to school it'll still be all that I'll be thinking about.

With my hands on my hips I tilt my head to the side, crinkling my nose when my too long side bangs sweep across my face.

I suck in my breath and just shove the notebook into my bag, using my hand to brush my hair away from my face once more. I glare up at my bangs, feeling my annoyance grow towards them.

I felt jumpy and well rested. I pull my bangs straight in front of my face and with my left hand I use my fingers to make a scissor shape then pretending like I was cutting them.

I spot a real pair of scissors on my desk and I only pause for a second before I grab them and go the bathroom, which thankfully was empty.

I wet my bangs and comb them out, making sure I wasn't going to cut anymore hair than I needed to.

I look through the gaps in my spaghetti like hair and examine my face, trying to figure out what length I wanted.

I settle on simple straight across bangs. My hand is steady as I make the first cut, and soon my hair is covering the counter. I shake my head experimentally and smile as I feel my hair tickle my forehead. At least I knew that if I failed out of college I could go work at a hair salon.

"Bella? " I hear Edward from my room; I clean up my hair and throw it in the trash as I leave the bathroom.

"Have you seen my cell-you cut your hair…" I chuckle at his reaction and nod me head. I look over at my iHome and see that it was now 7:30.

When I look back over to Edward, he was still at me. I send me a questioning look.

"Oh uh…yeah do you know where my cell phone is?" Shrugging I get my phone out and dial his number. A minute later it starts to buzz in my room and I go to my bed, moving the pillows around.

"Thank you." He mutters at my smug look and takes his phone from my extended hand.

"C'mon. Let's go" he says opening the door and waiting for me. I nod my head and grab my shit.

"Oh! Good morning Izzy. Are you hungry, dear?" Esme asks as Edward and I enter the kitchen.

"Good Morning" I mouth, shaking my head when she asks if I want some eggs or a bowl of cereal.

Edward kisses her cheek as we walk past her

"Bye mom." He calls out.

**Where are your siblings? **I ask Edward before he gets into his car.

Smirking he says "They decided to all skip class yesterday and the principal found them so he gave them morning detention."  
I roll my eyes, not really shocked at the news.

"I'll see you at school." Edward says before he drives off.

I climb into my car and throw my backpack to the passenger seat I stare at it for a moment, knowing that my incomplete song is in there. I sigh frustrated and turn on my car, speeding to school.

* * *

"Izzy are you okay?" I look up and see that most of the Cullens are looking at me. I send Alice a smile and nod.

"Are you sure?" _Not at all_ I nod again, but then pause.

"Actually, I need to go to my locker. I'll see you after school" I sign to her and start getting up

"I'll go with you." Edward says and I wave him off, throwing my backpack over my shoulder.

But of course he ignored me and followed anyway.

"Do you have your iPod?" he asks as I get to my locker. I nod as I spin the dial.

"Can I borrow it really quick?" I hand him my backpack and motion for him to get it from the front pocket as I search for a research paper I knew I left in one of text books last week.

When he gets my iPod he places my backpack next to me and sits down as well, his head resting on the locker as he turns his head to look at me.

I smile at him before going back to my quest. From the corner of my eye I see Edward wince as the music starts blasting from my earphone. I forgot to mention that I had left the volume on max.

_Where did I leave it? _So far it wasn't in my Biology or English text book.

"What are you looking for?" Edward asks as he scrolls down my songs but he looks up for my reply.

"Research paper."

"For history?" I nod.

"Didn't you put that in your math notebook?" I think back and my face blanks as I remember that I did, in fact, put it there.

"Herp derp." Edward sing-song whispers and as I shuffle through my notebooks in my backpack I reach a hand over to smack him on the head.

"That's not nice." He mumbles moving his hand over to me to tug on my bangs. My glare doesn't faze him. After I find my research paper I go through it and highlight the error I had purposely made when I first wrote it.

Mr. Anderson required a rough draft and a final draft. The jerk made us turn in the rough draft with it corrected of its errors. If you didn't turn it in a rough draft he wouldn't give you credit for the final draft.

Edward laughed when he realized I had put mistakes in my paper on purpose. Besides the sound of my highlighter running across the paper, it was quiet for the most part.

"I just haven't met you yet. They say all's fair in love and war but they don't need-" I didn't do it to be rude but I couldn't help but reach over and place my hand on Edwards mouth as he quietly started singing. All I could hear and think of now was my song, the lyrics that just wouldn't fit in right but just _had_ to be in the song.

_The lyrics were for a male part._

"If I'm a horrible singer you could have just told me so. No need to shut me up with your hand." Edward mumbles against my said hand and I smile sheepishly – yet still slightly distracted- in apology. I can't stop staring at him. I need his help with the song. But how the fuck was I suppose to ask him to help me?

Edward brings his hand up to mine and wraps it around my hand, his fingers overlapping as they encircle mine. I blush madly as he places a tender kiss on my finger tips and says,

"Are you okay?" dazzled I nodded slowly and move my gaze from his eyes to our hands. It felt natural as I, though hesitantly, linked out hands together.

"Do you-" I stop as my mind doesn't let me form the words. Seeing my predicament Edward gives our hands a gentle squeeze and places another kiss on my hand.

"Do I what?" he tone is patient and he looks peaceful…happy.

Trying a different approach I think of another way to ask for his help, but being the less than graceful person I am I end up saying, well mouthing really.

"Can you help me today? After school?"

Even before he says anything, Edwards smile lets me know that he will help me. And that in return made me smile, cancelling out – for the moment - the panic at having him at my studio.


	22. Chapter 22

_**What the fuck! 2 chapters in like a month! ._. just kidding. i'm not proud about that. i woke up today at 9:16am and go on the computer and started typing up what i wrote even though it wasn't finished._. at like 1:20 i was done with the chapter just going through it and fixing shit up. ugh, i have to many distractions. i could have posted this maybe two weeks ago-_-  
I got a new cat and named him Dusty! For anyone who reads that story, me naming him Dusty, well it worked out perfectly. My cats a little shit. now... enjoy. **  
_

* * *

_Previously on I'm Mute_

"_Do you-" I stop as my mind doesn't let me form the words. Seeing my predicament Edward gives our hands a gentle squeeze and places another kiss on my hand._

"_Do I what?" he tone is patient and he looks peaceful…happy. _

_Trying a different approach I think of another way to ask for his help, but being the less than graceful person I am I end up saying, well mouthing really._

"_Can you help me today? After school?"_

_Even before he says anything, Edwards smile lets me know that he will help me. And that in return made me smile, cancelling out – for the moment - the panic at having him at my studio._

* * *

My words to her were: you're too young to believe that everything won't be okay. I didn't expect for her to shut down on me, probably like she didn't expect for me to say such words.

The afternoon had been going fine, great actually. I was shocked as hell when after the forty five minutes of driving we ended up in Seattle. It had taken me a moment to realize just why she had been nervous to ask me for the favor. Bella, against all odds, had taken me to her studio.

The only troubling thought I had at first was when she explained to me that I was going to do some singing. As silly as it might have sounded, I felt so privileged to be there as she gracefully –shocking I know - walked around the room getting into her zone.

If it hadn't been for the every few minutes or so of her looking my way I totally would have assumed that she forgot all about me.

As I watched her grab instruments, the sunlight coming from the windows and catching the red in her hair (I seriously needed to stop with the corny stuff), the mix between a distant and peaceful look on her face as she played her notes in the recording booth, I came to yet another realization.

The whole experience was bittersweet. And being completely honest a tad angering. As much joy as I felt when she would look my way, it was slightly marred by her eyes; they were dull, nothing like the deep liquid browns I've recently found myself continuously losing myself in (see the corny shit, I was doing it again.)

Frankly, the whole situation pissed me off. The amount of time, energy and, obviously, money she had invested into making her studio what it was today was all started by a catalyst that no one, expect for her, knew about.

I had pushed my feelings aside though, when it was time to sing. She made me do some vocal warm ups at first, before we actually started my singing. It took us a few tries but eventually we got it down. It was after we finished listening to the final product that those words slipped from my lips.

While the song itself was beautiful, its meaning struck me. It was begging for someone to help her. That was why I said what I did. But once they came out, she shut me out, going back to her computer and syncing the song into her iPod.

"We can go now." She had told me picking up her bag, not even waiting or bothering to listen to my response, before she started for the door. I couldn't even try and talk to her in the car ride home because she had put in her ear buds, muted tones and screams of Asking Alexandria were the only sounds in the car for forty-fucking-five minutes.

When we got home, she all but ran out of the car and up into her room. I tried to follow her but mom stopped me, clearly noticing the tension between us.

"Give her some space, honey. She'll come around."

Yeah, I gave her space. Three days ago. So fuck that, fuck space, I was going to make her talk to me whether she liked it or not.

"Why do you look constipated?" Emmett asked poking my cheek.

"Why are you so stupid?" I mumbled, looking away from the cafeteria doors. I had been waiting for Bella to come eat her lunch before I ambushed her.

"That's not nice"

I rolled my eyes.

"She's in the library." I look over to Rosalie.

"What?"  
It was her turn to roll her eyes,

"Don't be stupid, she's in the library."

"Why are you telling me?" I asked it was obvious that Rosalie didn't like Bella very much, okay at all really. So the fact that she was telling me where she was, well it was unlike the Rosalie I knew. Pretty shocking.

"To get rid of that stupid lost puppy dog look you've been wearing for the past week." I look around the table and see all my siblings nodding their heads.

"Oh fuck off." I say getting up and heading to the library.

"Hey." I grab the chair across Bella and sit down.

Silence.

"I seriously think that you think you can keep ignoring me. I think it's bullshit."

Bella kept scribbling into her notebook, looking at the History book in front of her.

"You may not talk but I know you can hear me." I said waiting her out patiently. Two minutes of me drumming my fingers on the table, Bella looks up annoyed.

She was back, her eyes blazed brilliantly with her annoyance. It was like a pressure was lifted from my chest.

"Hi." I smile

"What do you want?" She mouths and goes back to work.

"To say I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it in a bad way." I stop when I notice her tense up, and continue when her shoulder relax.

"And I wanted to see your iPod." She looks up with a raised eyebrow. Oh yeah, she was like momma bear when it came to her iPod.

"Can I see it please?" I ask batting my eyes lashes like Alice did last night when she asked dad for permission to buy a pair of $150 shoes. It worked for her.

Quickly Bella glances over to her backpack and back to me.

Clearly I needed to work on my eye lash batting skills. But I wasn't going to let her "no" deter me.

"Oh…okay." I say getting up and walking over to her.

"Have fun writing about…the cold war…" she flips me off.

"Right well…see you later!" My hand shoots out to grab her ahold of her bag and I begin running for my life.

I hear her chair stumble to the floor as Bella immediately begins to chase after me.

The bell rings and the kids pour out of the cafeteria and to their next class. I kept weaving through the crowd until the tardy bell rang. Perfect.

Literally sensing her anger I finally stop in the auditorium, trying to catch my breath.

My eyes widen as Bella smacks right into my back, sending me a couple steps forward, and latches her legs around my waist piggy back ride style. She uses one hand to pull my head back and the other to reach for her backpack. Her legs firmly wrapped around my waist, but loosen slightly as I begin to laugh

"Ow." I manage to laugh out.

"Hold up!" I say, my stomach starting to hurt from the laughing with all her squirming around her legs had been accidentally tickling me.

Blindly, due to her hand in my face, I open up the front pocket and get her iPod out and 'accidentally' let Bella take her bag away from me. She jumps down from my back and clutches her backpack to her chest, sticking her tongue out to me.

"Very mature." I try to say without wheezing for air. I was fucking ticklish as hell.

"So let's do it." I say, smirking as Bella looks up from her bag to me with her eyes wide and cheeks deepening about seven shades of red.

I hold up her iPod in explanation and watch as her mouth drops open and glares at me.

"Get your head out of the gutter, Swan." I say laughing as I slowly go and grab her backpack again. Bella resists for a moment before handing it over. She's watching me carefully as I walk backwards, down the slope of the passageway between the seats.

When I make it to the bottom and place her backpack on the first row, she starts walking towards me.

I hold my hand out to her and smile lightly when she grabs it.

"C'mon." I say leading her to the stage. I let go of her hand and leave her in the middle of the stage as I go backstage towards the sound system, pulling it to the edge of the stage.

I connect her iPod and find our song. I set a timer for it to start in thirty seconds then grab a microphone and walk over to her saying,

"So I know that you recorded this song and everything and I heard it at your studio, but I didn't watch as you put it all together.

Who knows?" I shrug, smiling at her confused expression, "maybe you auto-tuned yourself."

"No I didn't." she answers, glaring at me with her hands on her hip. I'm right in front of her so I lean down to her height and whisper, "Prove it"

I grab her hand and gently place the mic into her palm. She gives me an indignant look and heads over to the sound system, getting out another mic and coming back to me.

"You remember your parts, right?" she says before smacking the mic into my chest.

"Ow! Use and abuse!" I huff out, pretending to annoyed. Bella was a closeted violent person, I got used to it already.

The timer ends and the beginning piano notes starts and I watch fascinated as Bella looks over to me once more before closing her a moment and starting to sing. (_**Edward,**_ **Bella**)

**How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb  
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home**

As she sings I walk around her, her demeanor completely changed again. The music shifts, darker, heavier, and edgier.  
I grip the mic and sing my parts along with her.

_**(Wake me up)**_**  
Wake me up inside  
**_**(I can't wake up)  
**_**Wake me up inside  
**_**(Save me)**_**  
call my name and save me from the dark  
**_**(Wake me up)  
**_**bid my blood to run  
**_**(I can't wake up)  
**_**before I come undone  
**_**(Save me)  
**_**save me from the nothing I've become**

Suddenly she opens her eyes and starts to sing to me, she moves with me and everything just fades away.

**Now that I know what I'm without  
you can't just leave me  
breathe into me and make me real  
bring me to life**

"Is that the best you got?" I say taunting her, egging her on, wanting to see her like the Bella I knew as she was singing.

_**(Wake me up)  
**_**Wake me up inside  
**_**(I can't wake up)**_**  
Wake me up inside  
**_**(Save me)  
**_**call my name and save me from the dark  
**_**(Wake me up)  
**_**bid my blood to run  
**_**(I can't wake up)  
**_**before I come undone  
**_**(Save me)  
**_**save me from the nothing I've become**

She follows me with her eyes as I keep moving around the stage.

**Bring me to life  
**_**(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)**_**  
Bring me to life**

I go to Bella and grab her hand, taken over by a strong desire to just be with her.

**Frozen inside without your touch  
Without your love, darling  
only you are the life among the dead**

My favorite part of the song comes up and I can't help but just stare at her, motionless as I sing.

_**all this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
**_**I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
got to open my eyes to everything  
**_**Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul  
**_**don't let me die here  
**_**there must be something more  
**_**bring me to life**

She's beautiful. Her eyes, the ones I love stare back at me as she sings with earnest.

_**(Wake me up)**_**  
Wake me up inside  
**_**(I can't wake up)  
**_**Wake me up inside  
**_**(Save me)**_**  
call my name and save me from the dark  
**_**(Wake me up)  
**_**bid my blood to run  
**_**(I can't wake up)**_**  
before I come undone  
**_**(Save me)**_**  
save me from the nothing I've become**

I can't help myself as I pull her close to me and bring our intertwined hands to my chest, right above my rapidly beating heart.

**(Bring me to life)**_**  
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside**_**  
(Bring me to life)**

She holds the notes, a perfect vibrato in her voice. The song ends but we don't move from our position. We both are breathing like we ran for miles. I have my hand on her back, pushing her to me until our chests our flushed together. Her eyes are searching in mine, shining with trepidation and hope.

_I swear to God, if something interrupts me right now…  
_  
"I promise" I whisper a moment before I lean down and finally capture her lips with my own.

I feel her jump slightly before she begins to kiss me back. Her lips warm, and feather soft on my own. Her hand reaches up  
between our bodies and tangles her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck.

But just as she began to add more pressure to the kiss a loud voice cuts into our bubble.

"Ahem." Bella jumps away from me, and instinctually I grab onto her sweaters sleeve. We both turn to the voice and see the vice principal staring at us with his arms crossed.

"I'm going to assume you're supposed to be in class. So go be in class before I give you a week's detention. Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan." He gives us a stern look and begins up the aisle stopping at the door, clearly waiting for us to follow him.

Bella manages to escape my grasp and hands me the microphone. Quickly I put the stuff away and grab her iPod.

When I get off the stage Bella is already walking out of the auditorium.  
"Fuck." I whisper to myself and run to catch up to her, giving the VP a final nod good-bye.

"Bella." I say slowing down a bit so he doesn't come after me and gives me detention for running in hall.

"Bella." I call out again I turn my head and see that the VP is heading back to his office.

Before he has the chance to look back I sprint to Bella and gently grab her hand.

She stops walking but doesn't look over to me, which makes my heart stutter.

Gently I squeeze her hand as I'm filled with a fear that she regrets our kiss. Not trying to be dramatic but it'd crush me if she did.

With the hand I was holding her iPod with, I reach over and grab her other, making sure the iPod was in between our hands.

I bend at the knees so I can be eye level, my stomach drops at the look in her eyes.  
"Don't," my voice wavers, I clear it, but its no use my emotions were getting the better of me, so I drop my tone to a whisper.

"Don't hide from me." I can see the struggle in her eyes to try and appease me, to not do what must be so natural for her and just hide within her mind.

Finally she slowly nods, and waits for me to let her go before she reaches up and gives me a short kiss softly on my lips. I don't react because I don't want to push her, but I savor the feel of her lips on mine.

She doesn't look me in the eyes as she turns and walks away, I know without even her telling me that she was going to ditch the rest of the day.

"Don't hide." I say quietly in my normal voice, just so she can hear me. I wait until she turns the corner to lean back against a set of lockers.  
I'd have to give her space… again. I just hope I didn't have to wait longer than three days this time for her to talk to me.

* * *

**Well, there it is._. i have had that scene with them singing and leading up to their kiss since...like forever. seriously, does anyone remember the last time when i went to Mexico? I had my first thought of them doing Bring Me To Life by Evanescence during a hot summer day laying down on my aunts couch watching some weird movie. **  
**Speaking of Mexico, I'm going to be going back to my homeland, (lol not really i was born here in Cali) this Monday 7/2/12 and i probably won't be home until late July:D so excited!**

**Please review? because that'd be great. i get new alerts but i don't get reviews**

I'll try to post chapters when i'm in the homeland, but i have two newborn nieces over there and i need to make up time of not making weird kissy faces at them! 

**Oh and i don't usually recommend stories, but since imma be gone, i want you to read storys that are fucking amazing!**

**-Dusty by YellowBella  
-Breaking Bella by sixeightshuffle  
-Torn by Dooba  
-Mockingbird - What Really Matters, - Whenever You Call all by Blueking141  
-What if by Twiheart21**

THESE STORIES HAVE MADE ME LAUGH, GO EEEEEEK, OBSESS AND CRY!  
my lord i wish one day i'll be as good as these lovely authors!  



	23. Chapter 23

**I'm Back! Well I've been back since the 31st of July...but my computer wouldn't turn on and my father doesn't love me enough to fix something as soon as i say that it's broken. Anyway! I had an amazing time in Mexico, i cried when i was saying good bye to everyone. I miss them so much! But i don;t miss the mosquito that would feast on my American legs all day and night long. Horrible Lols.  
**

**Bella doesn't make Edward wait for as long as i made you wait. :P all mistakes are mine because i suck.  
**

**PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM! AND HERE ON TOP! **

**Sorry for short chapter, but it gets the job done  
**

* * *

I opened my eyes and the first thing I did was close them back up. With squinty eyes I looked over to my nightstand and saw that my clock was reading 12:32am, I had only been asleep for a little over an hour; which was why the light from the hallway and the sound of a door being closed a bit too roughly was enough to wake me up.

Immediately I knew it was Bella, I mean who else would be awake at this hour? I started to get better at guessing her sleeping patterns, they were very chaotic, but it didn't seem like she lacked any sleep most days when she was out and about doing her own thing, so I didn't bother to mention to my parents.

A minute later the hallway lights turned back off and I was blinded yet again, the time it took for Bella's soft almost muted footsteps to become completely inaudible was the amount of time it took for my eyes to readjust to the dark. Calling up my inner ninja, I quietly walked down the stairs, pausing when I heard Emmett snoring as loud as a leaf blower, I was _so_ going to bring this up tomorrow…or later today…whichever way you want to look at it.

I found Bella a tiny bit later; she was outside lying on a thick blanket staring up at the stars. It was impossible for her not to have heard me when I closed the door loudly, which by the way was completely accidental. I don't say anything as I walk over to her and lay down besides her, staring at the surprisingly clear night sky. The amount of stars visible was beautiful, but somehow I think it wasn't for the star gazing that she was out here. I broke the silence first.

"Lovely weather we're having tonight." I say looking at her from the corner of my eye.  
She lets out a puff of air and laughs just barely loud enough for me to hear her voice. She looks over to me and rolls her eyes.

"Do you not agree?" I ask completely serious.

Shrugging she answers "It's okay" in her way, which I think would have been pretty damn hard to do so if the moon wasn't on display tonight.

"Just okay? Bella," I wince as she jabs her elbow into my ribs. "Ow fuck…sorry _Izzy_, the weather is not just 'okay' clearly you suck at star gazing because if you were looking at the right stars then you would say it was 'Fucking fantastic'"  
With a genuinely confused look on her face she asks "How can I be looking at the wrong stars?"

I look up for a moment and find some stars and then scoot over to Bella.

"Like this," I say lightly taking her left hand from where it was intertwined with her right on her stomach. My own heart skips but I ignore it completely and focus on the feeling of her heartbeat, my finger landing on the spot where I can feel her vein pulsing in time with her heartbeat. I bit down on my lip to keep the smug smile off my face; her pulse was racing, her vein as if it was jumping up to my finger strong and quick. Looking over to Bella I wasn't sure if she knew that I could feel it or not. She was blushing though, even more so when she saw I was looking at her.

Bella with her blush…there were times when you just couldn't tell why she was blushing in the first place.

I let myself smile to her and I look over back to the stars.

"The right stars to be looking at are over here." I murmur, readjusting my hold on her hand so I'm holding her entire hand on my own, I maneuver my index finger in between her own index and middle fingers so that she was coping my hand. With our index fingers pointing to the sky, I get even closer to her so we're pressed side my side and say

"When I was adopted by Carlisle and Esme they bought me a cluster of stars in the shape of my name. See, "I begin to move our hands in the letters of my name, " here's the E,D, W, A…Fuck…" the curse slips through my lips when the what was suppose to be an R turns out to be an F. Besides me

Bella presses her face into my upper arm and laughs.

"Be quiet," I say but the words are lost on us because we both start laughing even more.

When we calm down, Bella turns to me and says "I didn't know your name was spelled with an F." And then it's the fact that she giggled that makes it hard for me to tease her back. We stare at each other for a few seconds before she breaks the silence,

"You kissed me." Her eyes shined with emotions I couldn't name, but the only thing that mattered was that she didn't look regretful.

"You kissed me back" I say softly watching as a beautiful blush delicately colors her face.

For a moment she gets a faraway look in her eyes and then with her eyebrows drawn together she asks, "What does this mean?"

I sigh and look away to collect my thoughts for an instant before turning back to her.  
"Honestly? I don't know…" I look down and find that our hands are still joined and I smile.

"I would like it to mean something more, but I don't know how you feel about it."

A guilty look crosses her face and she tells me, "I've never been a girlfriend."

I shrug and say as casually as I can, "I've never been a boyfriend." My heart racing and I feel it race in my ears, I have no idea where this conversation is going to go.

"…what if I'm a bad girlfriend?" A scared look on her face comes up and I just want to make it go away.

"What if I'm a bad boyfriend?" A new thought enters my head and before I can lose it, I get up so that I'm sitting with my legs crossed and Bella follows. On impulse I grab her hands in mine and play with her finger as I start to talk.

"See the way I see it is…boyfriend and girlfriend are just terms. I don't want to date you because I think you'd be a good girlfriend, I want to date you and call you my girlfriend because I like you. It's Bella Swan the girl who has awesome taste in music, and is exceptionally talented with instruments and has a killer sense of humor, who I want to date. "I pause for a moment and bring her hands to my lips to place a kiss upon them.

"I met Bella Swan, that's it. Not Bella Swan the Girlfriend…if we do…start dating…we'd still be Edward and Bella, or if you want we can Bella and Edward. The titles don't change us, Bella."

Then how would it be different from Edward and Bella friends?" She asks looking up from our hands.

I can't help but smile cockily, "The difference is that I get to kiss you whenever I want."

Her eyes widen and she blushes then drops her gaze back to our hands, I feel her pinky try and wrap around my own. She tries to look up at me a few times but whenever our gazes me, she drops hers down again. It's pretty cute, if I'm being honest.

I pull her hands closer to me, in turn pulling her upper body closer as well. I lean in and make it look like I'm going to kiss her, but I don't instead I veer off towards her ear where I say with my voice low in a whisper,

"Because it's true. I want to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you when you had some strawberry smoothie, chocolate syrup and whipped cream in your hair. I wanted to kiss you when you helped with my homework. I want to kiss you, Bella."

I lean back some and place a kiss on the corner of her mouth, not able to control myself.

Pulling away completely I look at her and seriously say, "But I won't…not unless you want me too…not unless you feel the same."

She smiles at me and pulls me closer into a hug, and I'm perfectly content to have my arms around this girl.

It feels likes hours have passed, or I could be exaggerating and it was just minutes, when Bella suddenly yawns.  
I chuckle, tightening the hug for bit before pulling away.

"Let's go to back inside, you need to sleep." I say reaching forward and press my lips to her forehead. Getting up first I help her up and make a face when I realize my left foot has fallen asleep and the damn needle poking sensation starts up.

I stay perfectly still, not moving a single muscle in my leg until I'm sure the feeling has dissipated. Looking over to Bella, who decided to be productive and fold up the blanket, I see that she's biting her lip to keep from laughing.

Playfully, I roll my eyes at her and grab her hand, linking our pinkies as she tried to do before. I sneak a peek at her face and see her looking at our hands with another blush on her face.

Opening the door for her, I take the dirty blanket and tell her to start going up the stairs while I take the blanket to the laundry room.

"Fuck Bella, don't yawn!" I whine softly as we walk up the stairs (she waited for me), Bella had started yawning up a storm, and incase you didn't know yawns are fucking contagious.

And as if to just fuck with me, she lets out another yawn and then I'm yawning. I wonder if the fact that she's yawning so much is because I yawn which in turn makes her yawn again…it's like a never ending cycle of yawning between us. I need sleep.

We get to our floor and I look at her, trying to see if my words from earlier somehow made a difference. But I'm too much of a chicken shit to ask her.

So I'm surprised as fuck as Bella grabs my shirt with one hand, while the other goes to its place in my hair and kisses me hard. Her lips mold against mine. They're soft and warm, giving and receiving. I pull her infinitely closer to me. My lungs start to burn and I wonder if hers are too, but then remember she has the lungs of a singer.

_Breathing? Air? What is this foreign concept you speak of?_

Reluctantly I pull away, and on yet another impulse, gently take her full bottom lip between my teeth, pulling it as I back away. I get this strange satisfaction as I watch her pull the same lip into her mouth. As much as I'm slowly becoming addicted to her kisses, I'm confused as fuck and it's evidently in my face as Bella reaches up to smooth out the 'v' in between my eyebrows.

Again we stare at each other for a lifetime and my heart spikes once more as she says.

"I want to kiss you too."

And all I can think is thank fuck.

* * *

**So i started 'writing' this chapter when i was on the bus leaving TO Mexico, ironically enough, it was night time and the bus was showing a movie with Robert Pattinson. UNF. lol i don't know what movie it was though.**

** it was like in the old times and he was gonna fuck some girl later that night but his parents died and he was kicked out of school and then he finds his way onto a train...anyone know it? Jajaja (mexican haha)**

**I had the "Terms" monologue that Edward says in my head since then and ugh, if some dude said that to me i would jump his ass and beg him to love me forever. But of course Bella is a dumb fuck and isn't me and didn't do that. But if she was, the story would end with them fucking and getting sick because they fall asleep outside. **

**Lols. clearly i need sleep. but i have something better in store for you, my dears. (Maria, Itzel. ;D you know exactly what it is) **

**Did anyone read some of the stories i recommended? Lols its like 4:06 (mexico time) in the morning and i remembered that i for got to add Hit by Destiny. i was mad. Haha. **

**_Next Chapter: Expect a time skip. i'm done with this skirting along the 'time line' of my story and imma start getting into the nitty gritty...you all must have figured out by now that that i am going to have nitty gritty in this story right?_ **

**OH MER GERD P.S What if i did a sequel? Lols we'd be 30 (or older for some whatever i'm cool with that (i'm going to 17 this year)) by the time i finish the sequel . I know exactly what happens in the sequel i have in head, though. its pretty 'dope' if i say so myself :D**

**REVIEWS! AND MAYBE I'LL GIVE YOU A FREE QUESTION GIVE AWAY AND I'LL ANSWER IT AS HONESTLY AS I CAN!**  
**P.s. i love a foul mouthed Edward. unf, don't you?**

Oh yeah okay by the way, i'm going to be going around and fixing some of the horrible obvious mistakes i have in this story thus far, because seriously? it pisses me off. Example, Bella's birthday...what the fuck. 198-something really Stacy? really? In your review can you please mention some obviously horrible mistakes so i can improve this story for you! :D por favor?


	24. Chapter 24

I blink slowly, keeping my gaze on the laptops border, to at least attempt to look like I was paying attention. I hate when people keep on repeating themselves. You said it once, which should be enough, there's no need to keep repeating yourself. In my opinion I thought the entire concept of whatever the speaker was talking about gets lost when they did as such. Like now, I would just stop listening.

"Izzy are you listening to me? This is important." Almost lethargically I move my eyes to the screen and see my mother's kind of blurry face. My side of the connection was crap, due to yet another thunder storm. The strong winds last night managed to knock down an old electrical pole, which of course because my life sucks, would be one that runs to the Cullen house. They, being the electricians, managed to bring back the light early in the morning.

I nod twice and wait for her to start talking about. I focus on her blurry figure, on her dark purple V-neck and how it has a bleach stain on her left shoulder.

"Esme has been kind enough to send us all your school related mail, Izzy you need to do better. How can you get a C in your Algebra Two class? Sweetheart you can do so much better, don't give your father and I another reason to worry. We have enough on our plate with Pop-Pop Swan and helping him adjust" she pauses and takes, what I believe to be, a soothing breath though it doesn't help much considering her voice was choking up. I went back to staring at the border.

"Making sure he's okay so we can leave. Your father doesn't deserve this Sweetheart. He is too darn proud to let himself look weak and it's taking its toll now. I need you to be my rock in this Izzy. I know what's happening to our family is horrible but you can't let yourself get distracted in your studies."

My patience the size of a strand of hair, snaps like one and I angrily type, almost punch, out:  
**I have one C! Calm down, it's not the end of the world. Those grades you have are two weeks old. You don't know what you're talking about so just stop.**

And it was true; she didn't know what she was talking about. My grades now are the best they've been in a long time. I was currently working on getting that said C into a B, my percentage for the grade to change was less than 5 percent. It's most likely change when my teacher collects our notebook next week. Being in the Cullen home is starting to set a good example for me. I learned a while back that the Cullen's like helping each other do their homework, and that included me now. Even Rosalie would help Alice and me on our English assignments on a weekly basis. I mean sure she still seemed like she wouldn't look or talk to me unless absolutely necessary, but hey, at least she helped me with last week's essay.

"Okay, you don't have to lose your temper with me young lady. I'm just thinking about your future…Just please try harder. I'll talk to you later."

I gave her a wave good bye and disconnected immediately, not even stopping to consider she might have had something else to say. _Opps. _My anger was still there; my eyes felt dry and burned but like always no tears fell. I gently tossed Edwards laptop onto the coffee table and lay entirely down on the couch. I turned so my front was facing the couch pillows and shoved my face into the little crevice and swallowed back my screams of anger.

In the back of my mind I notice just how uninhibited I have become in this home, how after days of refusing it, I have finally expected it and even started considering it a home of my own. Just look at my room, I finally put away my clothes into the dressers.

"Bella?" I smile into the pillow when I hear his voice, enjoying how the little flutters of anger in my stomach become flutters of excitement and happiness. His presence, as I seemed to now realize, always affected me.

I feel the couch sink down where my legs were and I feel Edward run his hand lulling from my ankle to calf.  
"Are you okay?"

I frowned to myself, taking in his question. Was I okay? I mean the conversation I had with mommy dearest wasn't anything new by any means. Did the conversation make me feel annoyed? Yes. Angry? Duh. …Sad? Of course. No kid liked having their parent tell them that they need to do better, to ignore the good and go straight to the bad.  
Renee didn't even bother mentioning that aside from the one C I had all A's and B's. She didn't even bother to tell me "Good job, Izzy." Or "I'm proud of you Sweetheart."

As I'm mulling over this I feel Edwards hand go to my back and softly push me further to the pillows and then feel him climb onto the couch with me. I feel his warm and perfect for him muscularly arm wrap around my middle. His lips make their way to my neck, slowly pushing my hair aside with his nose and where he places a soft kiss, his lips leaving a wonderful searing sensation. I bite my lip to keep from smiling like a clown.

His arm around me is loose enough for me to turn to him. I place my hands on his chest, feeling his natural warmth even from a layer of cotton.

"Hi." I tell him tilting my head to kiss the underside of his jaw, feeling his slowly growing scruff tickle my lips.

I feel and hear as his chest rumbles with his deeply smooth chuckles.

"Hi Baby Love." He whispers in my ear and like all the other times he's called me that, even from the first time which was completely by accident, my blush appears on my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" he repeats purposely running his chin against the crown of my head to mess up my hair.

My hands on his chest start to fist up, not even caring that I was pulling on his shirt while doing so.

Swallowing away the growing annoying knot in my throat away I lean my head back and give him a small smile.  
"I'm fine."

And I wasn't technically lying; I was fine, now that I wasn't talking to Renée and here with him. He helps me stay calm.

He doesn't say anything right away, just stares at me with this soft look, but when he does, the flutters turn into full on butterflies.

"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but for what it's worth, I saw your grades on school loop last week. _I'm_ proud of you."

I don't respond just simply reach up and kiss him on the lips. They're warm and soft, and almost intoxicating, they kiss me back. I feel a shiver run from my scalp to my toes and I can't help but want to know if this feeling, the feeling of kissing Edward, would be something I would ever get used too. I hope it doesn't. I don't want it to, not yet.

His hand comes up to my face as our lips push and pull, give and take and feather softly runs his thumb along my jaw line.

"_I'm proud of you"_ his words scare me as much as they cause the thrilling butterflies. Scare me by just how much Edward knows me. How he just seems to know what to say to make me feel better…to feel important.

I kiss him harder, bringing his lower lip into my mouth and gently nip to show him my silent appreciation.

There's another rumble in his chest, but it's more like a groan.

And then there's another one, but not from Edward…no it's from Emmett this time.

"Ugh, Edward! Seriously, again. Calm down bro."

We break apart laughing because it's ironic that it's Emmett telling us to calm down, when he and Rosalie are almost always connect by the lips.  
"Go away." Edward calls over his shoulder and pecks my lips once more.

"Leave my sissy alone you jerk!" Emmett yells out like a toddler, but unlike a toddler runs up to us and literally scoops me out of Edwards grasp and over his shoulder in one quick motion then starts off running to the kitchen.

"I brought dinner mom!" Emmett says loudly over Edwards's yelled profanities as he somehow managed to switch my body position so I was now facing forward as well.

"Oh that's wonderful honey." Esme says with a great smile, her lovely hazel eyes twinkling with joy as they usually do when she sees her kids being silly. "She'll make a delicious appetizer."

A scoff interrupts Emmett and Edward comes to me where I am.  
"Mom! Emmett stole my girlfriend." I swear I need an exterminator to do something about the attack of the flutters for whenever he calls me that. My face heats up and I drop my gaze away from him and to the floor, letting my hair fall around my face The Grudge style so no one see's just how wide my smile becomes.

I jump a bit as Edward pushes my hair aside and tilt my head up.

"Sup?" he says casually with a smile.

"Not much, just hanging." I say using the little upper body strength I have to push against Emmett's freakishly large chest and pull myself upwards. The blood to my head was making me dizzy.

This action caused Esme, who had turned her attention back to her dinner making, to notice how I was still hanging over Emmett's shoulder.

"Oh Lord, Emmett, put Izzy down." She says lightly smacking his arm with a wooden spoon.

"But Ma, if I put her down, Edward will hog all of Izzy Bizzies attention." He once again maneuvered me so I was cradled in his arms and takes an exaggerated whimper.

"I still can't believe my brothers gone and got a girlfriend. And here I thought he was strictly dickly."

"Emmett!" Edward groaned and I giggled internally as noticed a light pinking in his cheeks.

I liked seeing them interact especially since it was Emmett who found us out. Edward and I had been home alone watching some TV while we attempted to do homework and when we finally just broke down and decided to be stereotypical teenagers we begin to kiss, Emmett walked in. You would think the way he yelled out "Oh my fucking God" all loud and ear splitting that he would have seen a dead body on the floor. Or something that freaky like you would see on Bones.

We spent about an hour with Emmett just awkwardly staring at us on the couch until the rest of the family came home and we had to explain it to them that we didn't purposely try and keep our new status a secret. They didn't seem shocked, well Carlisle and Esme didn't anyway. Rosalie smiled at me for a split second so I think she doesn't mind us either.

Emmett set me down and Edward gently pulled me to him and glared at his brother while Esme looked on laughing.

* * *

"Did you have a nice talk with your mom, Izzy?" Esme asked as we began to eat dinner. Instinctively I froze and my mind blocked out Renée's words.

I cleared my throat as I took a bite out of the dinner and did a nod-shrug.

Esme opened her mouth but, thankfully, Alice interrupted and steered the conversation away from me.

The rest of the dinner was filled with laughs and Emmett's whines about getting abused by Rosalie.

* * *

"_Can we go home now?" I tentatively asked James as he went to the keg to refill his cup…for the fifth time, not…not that I was counting. _

_The loud music was literally rocking the house; the cheap thrift store value pictures hanging on the wall were blurry at best. The soft tap, tap, tap coming from them was due to them bouncing against the wall to the beat of the music. _

_His eyes were just starting to glaze over and the strong stench of some Kush seemed to just roll off in waves from him. _

"_Why?" he said with that cliché hiccup at the end._

"_James, it's almost one in the morning…and I'm tired." _

_With a drunken smile he reaches his huge hand over to my face, completely ignoring me when I flinched away, and sort of, kind of roughly-gently pushed my face away._

"_One more hour. Chill." He gets another cup and shoves it in my hand._

"_Oh no I don't-" I start to say but it's too late and James is already walking away. _

…

_It was two o'clock in the morning and the party was still going on and I fucking hated it. It's been hour and a half and I have yet to find James anywhere in this god forsaken house. _

"_Have you seen James?" I ask this one chick who I saw with him in passing a while ago.  
"I think he went upstairs." She says and then goes back to talking with her friends. _

_So here I was, walking around this strange house and cautiously knocking on doors, looking for my best friend._

_It's when I'm on my last door that I hear a loud commotion erupt downstairs, and my heart stills then begins to race sky high. _

_I run downstairs, tripping once but catching myself on the rail before I tumbled down to the floor._

"_James!" I yell as I rush into the living room, already knowing that he was going to be in the center of the entire calamity._

_I watch horror struck as James and this senior guy go at it, I watch as James just lands punch after punch with a ferocious look on his face. A part of me wanted to run away and never look back but the larger, more prevailing part knows that I'm expected to stay here. He's my best friend, I know more about him than anyone else. Leaving is not acceptable. _

_Then it all happens so fast, like my body had a mind of its own it started walking forward and I can hear myself call out to James. It was like I thought I could stop James, control him._

_He's quick to turn around to the sound of my voice but the senior is in the zone and lands a dirty punch, James suddenly falling towards me and without thinking I step closer, not back. We both fall to the ground, James cursing loudly towards senior guy and I'm trapped underneath him, getting knocked in the ribs by his elbows as he tries to get up. _

_With my breath sucked out of my lungs I find it hard to move and with all the crazy shit happening around me, I can't move out of the way once more before it's late. Senior and James are suddenly on the floor with their legs on top of me, and I can hear some random people yelling out for me to get out of the way. _

_I feel someone grab my arm trying to pull me out of the way before I get hurt, but just as I'm pulled from under, one of the legs that had been over me, somehow manages to kick upwards and knocks me in the face, specifically my mouth and nose. _

_Instantly I feel the blood pour from my nose and tears start flowing from the pain. _

_The hand holding me releases its grasp and I land back onto the floor. Using one hand to pull my sleeve down to my face to try and stop the blood, I use the other to scramble away from the fight. _

_Getting up with blurry vision I give James and Senior, who have been separated now verbally duke it out, one last glance before I start to run out the house. Apparently James fucked seniors' girlfriend…I'm not surprised._

_I run the three mile long trek to get home under an hour. Thankfully, my parents aren't home tonight and I'm able to climb the tree to my window with minimal damage done to my hands. That's what I get, though, for losing my home key last week. _

_The rest of the night is spent on my bed, looking out my window, shivers of fear running through my spine whenever I see a shadow pass by, waiting for James. I assume he'll be looking for me. I left, which was something I wasn't supposed to do. _

_But he doesn't come for me that night. In fact he doesn't looking for me the next or even the night after that. It's on the fourth morning from the party when James shows up at my front door, with a high as a kite smile, asking if I was free today_

"_Yeah, just let me get my beanie." I say walking back inside. Getting my beanie from the coffee table I tell dad, who was watching some baseball game, I was heading out. He grunts goodbye, which is more than he would usually do when the game was four to one with his team losing. _

_As we walk down the drive way, James bumps my shoulder and says  
"What happened to your face?" _

_I'm about to answer when his cell phone rings with a text message. I take this time to stare at him, and wait for him to look at me._

"_I fell…" I say and he just shakes his head. We keep walking, and it occurs to me that I didn't even ask where we were going. But it doesn't matter. He'll make me go even if I didn't want to._

I lay in bed with my eyes closed for the longest of times. I have no idea what time it was, or how long I have been awake.

When it abundantly clear to me that I wasn't going back to sleep any time soon, I roll out of bed and get ready for the day…even though it was barely four twenty- three in the morning.

Since I took a shower before I went to bed, I skip my morning shower and just change my clothes. I put on some black skinnies, a grey and white camisole under a sweater I snagged from Edwards closet last week, and my old high tops.

After brushing my teeth twice I go downstairs and eat some honey bunches of oats as I watch TV on mute but with subtitles on.

At five forty-five, Carlisle comes downstairs decked out in his normal doctor gear.

"Good morning." He says in a quiet voice and I reply with a smile-nod combo.

He leaves at six with a good bye and then a few minutes after that, the Cullen house begins to liven up.

Esme is the first to come down and when she notices me, she walks over and gives me, her now customary morning kiss on the cheek.

Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and Alice all come down around the same time and go to the kitchen when the aroma of fresh blue berry muffins are being made.

Edward is the last to come down and he comes straight over to me. I'm still sitting down on the couch watching some early morning Ghost Whisperer.

Something that I noticed about Edward was that he was a major closet cuddle lover.

His wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him, my head in its designated place; right underneath his chin. I take a deep breath and inhale Edwards scent. He always smells slightly different. Sometimes when he feels up to it, he puts on some axe, but today was a lazy day and he smelled like his natural scent and soap. I like it.

"What time did you wake up?" he says with his voice still gruff with sleep. I answer honestly with a shrug.

I place a kiss on the side of his neck, and get out of his grasp.

"C'mon" I tell him and use both of my hands to pull him up then walk into the kitchen and ignore Emmett's playful catcalls.

"You're such an idiot." Rosalie says and she takes a bite of her muffin and everyone else nods in agreement.

"Ya'll just haters!" he yells and Esme has to shush him, "Sorry Ma."

Around seven forty-five we all get into the cars and head to school. As Edward parks into an open space, I make a disgruntled sound in the back of my throat. We weren't even outside of the car and kids were already staring.

It was like they had nothing better to do than to just fucking stare and us. It annoyed the crap out of me; actually I was fed up with this after the third day of staring.

"They'll stop eventually. Don't let them get to you." Edward tells me with an amused smile and I roll my eyes at him.

We get out and I look straight back at some gawker as I head to Edward and grab his open hand. The look on my face clearly said "What the fuck are you staring at" and thankfully the girl looks away and walks towards the school.

"What?" I say to Edward as I catch him staring at me. He laughs and pulls me in for a hug.

"You're funny, that's all." He answers and we walk to the rest of his family.

"Izzy is fucking hilarious. God, Karen you're so stupid!" Emmett says and he and Jasper bust out laughing. They have sick obsession with Mean Girls. They'd never admit it, but they watch that movie at least twice a month. Last month it was three times. They know the movie word for word.

Alice catches my eyes and we have a silent conversation. I nod my head and she looks at her boyfriend and brother. "You can't sit with us!" she yells in a shrill voice and then we both start walking away, I make sure to drag Edward with me.

Edward drops me off at my classroom a few minutes before the bell rings.

"I'll see you later." He says and leans in to kiss my cheek

I nod with a smile and walk into class.

* * *

"Edward!" Jessica yells as we walk out of school. Thank fuck the day was over, I had a shit load of homework, and I wanted to get my Bones. I need to know what happens to booth and bones! Do they end up together? Or does he end up with Cam? God I hate that bitch right now.

"What do you say?" I jump as Edward pokes my cheek unexpectedly.

"About what?"

"Scatterbrain." He teases, "About the party."

"What party?"

His looks at me with a blank look on his face, "did you not pay attention just now?"

I shake my head no.

"What were you thinking about?"

With my cheeks warming up, I answer "FBI agent Seeley Booth."

"Oh my god, you're such a dork." He says laughing and starts walking over to his car with me in tow.

"Jessica came over and invited us to a party for this Friday. Do you want to go?" He explains as he unlocks his doors and we climb in.

"A party? I ask just to make sure I heard right.

Putting the car in reverse and looking back for traffic, Edward nods.

As he merges onto the main road, he looks over to me with a wondering look.

My mind goes back to my dream last night; I had a bad history with parties.

"Um." I start to say, looking at Edward to see just how badly he wanted to go. I couldn't tell which annoyed me. I don't give him an answer right away and I mull over my answer. I didn't want to be one of those girlfriends who didn't want to do anything fun. Those types of girls irritated me. But at the same time, I didn't want to go when I could spend my Friday watching Bones.

My face suddenly blanks as I register what I just thought. I am such a loser.

"Let's go." I say just to prove to myself that I could have fun without Netflix, and I'm glad I do when Edward smiles at me.

"Okay, I'll tell the rest of the guys and ask if they want to go as well."

I nod in agreement and look out the window for the rest of the drive home.

Flashes of the dream still running through my head and I frown biting my lip as I feel this feeling of…almost anticipation building in the pit of my stomach.

_Don't be ridiculous._ I chastise myself, breathing deeply in an attempt to drive the feeling away.

I rationalize with myself that I was feeling this way because it would be the first time I go to a party with Edward…not anything else.

But then later that night when I'm about to go to bed, and am still thinking about the party, those horrible words spoken in scary movies right before shit gets intense, pops up in my head.

"_What can go wrong?"_

With my luck…everything.

* * *

**Just clear things up Bella does not talk yet!**

**Hope you liked it. **

**sorry for any mistakes**


	25. Chapter 25

**Songs of this chapter: look them up on youtube, i can't get the links to show up on my profile .**

**Brokenhearted by Karmin, in the style of Carly Rose Sonenclar**

**Hallelujah by Kate Voegele**

**_Edward Point Of View_**

* * *

I run with my breath leaving in short rapid white puffs in the chilly biting winter air. My eyes scan the streets and bushes like a maniac. I feel bile rise up in my throat, the stomach acid leaving a slow burn as I try to swallow it down. I didn't have time to throw up right now!

_Fuck!_ I yell inside my head as I take a moment to catch my breath, my hands are on my knees and I can't stop the dry heaving motions my body sends out. Tears of anger and fear blur my eyes and I just want to sit down think of everything that went wrong. I literally feel the last of the alcohol leave my system from the sweat coming from my pores. My mind is over active and thinking of everything that had happen the past couple of hours.

My legs burn from the running but it doesn't stop me. I lock my jaw to the point of being painful and reach up to wipe my tears as they fall from my eyes.

_How did this happen? _ I think as my eyes peer through the darkness I had long adjusted to.

Honestly though, how did this happen? Everything this week had been full of laughs and smiles.

_She was sitting on the piano in the music room, scribbling something in her notebook; her hair is a loose bun being held by a pen. She's been in here for over an hour, ever since breakfast actually, it was now almost lunch time. _

_I move closer in the room until she notices me, and when she does my heart stutters. Jesus, I bet she doesn't even know what she does to me. _

"_Hey," I say when she smiles at me "Are you writing a new song?" I was still curious over her song writing process, I've flipped through her iPod a number of times now and still can't get an exact number on how many original songs she has._

_She shakes her head no and hides her notebook away from my nosy eyes. _

"_When's Alice's birthday? This month right?" She tries to distract me._

"_Yeah," I answer, walking closer to her then continuing as it dawn on me, "This Friday actually."_

_She tilts her head to the side, accidentally but effectively causing the pen to fall out of her bun and letting her hair cascade down her shoulder in a thick ringlet that expands out at the tips. Beautiful _

"_Are you guys going to give her a birthday party?" she asks still hiding her notebook away, she was a smart cookie. _

"_Yeah, but since her birthday always falls on a weekday, we've just gotten used to celebrating it on the Saturday that follows. Why do you ask?" I said as I put my hands on her hips, chuckling as she jumps when I do so. _

_I watch enthralled as Bella tells me how she and Esme have been planning for Alice's surprise for this Thursday, which was tomorrow. Her face lights up in a smile as she tells me all the foods and games that they plan to have. Then my favorite part, when she tells me she's going to sings Alice's favorite song. _

"_I still don't know what else to get her. If it wasn't for Facebook I wouldn't remember anyone's birthday." She tells me laughing then gets up to sit on the piano and motions me closer. _

"_Don't let Jasper see you say that. He'll get so mad." I laugh, playfully looking around the room._

"_You would know?" She asks as she locks her arms around my neck and starts running the tips of her fingers in my hair._

_I nod, "Yeah, it was his twelfth birthday. I remember, he would constantly look at me and it got to the point where I went to the bathroom to check if there was something on my face. I honestly didn't remember it was his birthday until my dad brought us back home from the park and everyone screamed happy birthday when we walked through the front door." _

_I let the memory keep playing in my head, smiling when younger Jasper gives me a pointed look before going around hugging all of our aunts and uncles. _

"_He didn't talk to me for a week after that, and he purposely forgot my birthday when it came around. He said he forgot, but he's such a liar. He marks off our birthdays in his calendar." _

_Bella rolls her eyes with a smile on her face and moves her hands to cup my cheeks, her thumbs running against my skin._

"_You need to shave soon." She tells me, her gaze on her fingers, and I grunt in reply. I fucking hated shaving, but thankfully my facial grew slowly. I could go almost two weeks before my scuff annoyed me enough to bring out my razor. _

_My eyes widen in shock when she suddenly moves closer and I feel her lips on my cheek, taking the place of where her thumbs where just a moment ago. I hear her very softly, so soft I almost missed it, giggle. I take the opportunity to turn my head to kiss the spot right under her ear lobe. _

_I also take the opportunity to take her notebook, but my girlfriend has fast reflexes and snatches it back in her grasp. _

"_It's a surprise!" I get scolded and she kicks me out of the music room instructing me to close the door on my way out. _

_I lean against the closed sliding doors and listen as Bella begins to tinker with the piano for a bit. I shake my head with a smile and leave her alone then go and find my brothers, who then teach me how to play COD. I didn't have the heart to tell them I didn't like the game. _

"…_Happy birthday dear Alice, happy birthday to you." We all sing loud and horribly as we bring out the cake large enough to feed a family of forty-five. The lights are dimmed low, and the room has an orange hue thanks to the candles. _

_Alice is at the head of the table, wiping her tears with her 'birthday queen' handkerchief that we had all given her about 4 years ago. _

"_Make a wish sweetheart." Dad tells her with a proud smile. So short I almost can't see her behind the 3 layer cake, Alice takes to sitting on her knees on the chair and looks at us with a beaming smile._

_With her eyes scrunched closed she takes a big breath and then blows as hard as she can. She gets all sixteen candles out, expect for the seventeenth right at the top of the cake. _

"_Arrgh." Alice laughs out and keeps on puffing but the flame keeps on going. Emmett, jasper and I all take out our phones and begin recording her attempts to blow it out._

_At a minute and thirty-two seconds, when Alice looks like she's going to pass out, the little candle goes out and stays out._

"_Oh thank the lord." Alice wheezes with pink cheeks. _

"_Cake time!" Emmett yells going in to pluck out all the candles and then gently pushes Mom over to the cake to cut it._

_Bella and I both sit next to each other and I can't help but softly knock her shoulder with mine and give her an eager smile._

"_Not yet." She tells me as she takes a bite of the tres leches cake, Alice's favorite._

_When it comes to birthdays, Mom always lets us have desert first then dinner, then if we're up to it, more desert. Life is good on our birthdays. _

_As we all finish our dinner of stuffed crabs and Seafood Alfredo, Alice says and holds out the note, "Soooo" _

_We all give her a blank stare._

"_Where are my presents?" She asks excitedly bouncing in her chair. _

_Dad gets up and out of the room, coming back with an old baseball hat. Like always he goes around the table making us pick out a slip of paper. Whatever number you got was the order in which you gave your present. _

"_What did you get?" Bella grabs my arm with both of her tiny hands and peers over to my little slip. _

"_3__rd" __I reply, stating the now obvious due to her prying eyes. _

"_7__th__" She smirks and I laugh at how well the situation played out. We all moved into the living room and one by one started giving Alice her presents. _

_First Jasper with the complete DVD box set of Project Runway. Then Emmett with a homemade coupon that was redeemable for a one time only, no cameras or any type of black mail inducing devices, Emily makeover. We all laughed until we cried on that one. _

_Then mine with a receipt for five new magazine subscriptions._

_Rose gave Alice an itinerary for their day of Black Friday shopping, and due to her squeals it was clear that Alice approved._

_Next was Dad and he gave Alice a receipt for a new sewing machine, since hers broke down two months ago. _

_Mom gave Alice a necklace with a small glass figurine of Tinkerbell. And then finally it was Bella's turn. She blushes lightly when we all turn on our chairs to look at her and gets up, clearing her throat and motions for us to follow. _

_We all take the familiar steps towards to music room and we all sit on the couches that Bella had assembled early today, giving us the perfect view to see her play. _

_Grabbing Alice's hand, Bella pulls her over to the piano and sits her on the foot stool for our sofa. _

"_Happy birthday Alice." She smiles and I can tell that she's nervous. But it doesn't stop the feeling of pride flow through me as I watch her ready herself to sing. Just noticing how much she's changed in such a short amount of time. The girl who wouldn't even talk to me unless I bugged her to the girl who was now going to sing for fun, the change was so prominent. _

_From the corner of my eyes I see my dad sit up straighter and I smirk as I realize that Bella is killing two birds with one stone…_

"Bella!" I yell into the air, the only answer I got was the rustling of the leaves from the surrounding trees. I set off running again but the memory still kept going.

_She positions herself on the piano stool and I can see her ball her hands into fists only to unclench them again. Just like when we were back in LA, I look around the room and look at my family members faces, noting that this was the first time since that day that they'll see Bella sing in person. _

_She clears her throat once more and raises her hands to the keys and slowly closes her eyes._

_This is more than the typical kinda thing  
Felt the jolts in my bones when you were touching me  
Didn't wanna take it slow  
In a daze, going crazy, I can barely think  
You're replaying through my brain, I find it hard to sleep,  
I'm waiting for my phone to blow_

_See, I've been waiting all day  
For you to call me baby  
So let's get up, let's get on it  
Don't you leave me brokenhearted tonight  
_

"_She's so good." Emmett mutters and I knock him in the ribs with my elbow to shut him up, never taking my eyes of Bella. It's obvious that she heard him when she opens her eyes and smiles while singing. Her eyes meet mine and I can't help but return the smile. I knew the song by Karmin, but to see just how she had changed it into her own was something else entirely. _

_And honest baby, I'll do anything you want to  
So can we finish what we started  
Don't you leave me brokenhearted tonight_

_Oh, I can't seem to let you go_

_She holds out the note slowly fading out, and with a smile to us and Alice she leans towards the piano and does something before starting to play again. The melody starts and Mom gasps and leans forward, a pleasantly surprised look on her face evident. And as Bella starts singing, I realized that she was singing my mom's favorite song. _

_Well I've heard there was a sacred chord  
David played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do ya ?  
Well it goes like this:  
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you to her kitchen chair  
She broke your throne, she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Oh baby I have been here before_  
_I've seen this room and I've walked this floor_  
_You know I used to live alone before I knew you_  
_And I've seen your flag on the marble arch_  
_And love is not a victory march_  
_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_I hear some sniffling and turn to see Mom being cradled in my father's arm with tears slowly falling from her closes eyes. _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Well there was a time when you let me know_  
_What's really going on below_  
_But now you never show that to me do you_  
_And remember when I moved in you_  
_The holy dove was moving too_  
_And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Well maybe there is a God above_  
_But all I've ever learned from love_  
_Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you_  
_And it's not a cry that you hear at night_  
_It's not somebody who's seen the light_  
_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Oh Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah,_  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Both Alice and Mom rush over to Bella showering her with thanks and praises. By her soft chuckles and careless shrugs it's obvious that Bella didn't expect such a great reaction. As Esme has her in a tight swaying hug she looks over to my dad and he nods with a proud look on her face. Everyone was emotional from the songs, even Rosalie was subtly wiping under her eyes._

We had all been in a bubble of happiness; I just can't wrap my mind around tonight. It had started out so well.

* * *

**there is a reason to this. trust me.**

**Give me reviews! yeah? please? thank you?**


	26. Chapter 26

**_Version 2 of chapter 26. the first one sucked balls and i ended up starting over and tada! we have this one. _**

**_I'm actually really nervous about it. i hope you like it because it's one of my favorite chapters to date. _**

* * *

I was starting to rethink this whole party thing, but my rethinking is much too late considering we, Edward and I, were already parked two houses down from Jessica's house. The music could be heard from here and it was loud. I can only imagine how it was inside the house.

"Are you having second thoughts?" I look to my left and see the dude I affectionately call my boyfriend looking at me with a mighty grin on his face.  
Even though I knew my face was all screwed up in a grimace, I still tried to deny it.

Laughing he said, "We can go somewhere else, you know that right?" I did know that, he's been assuring me the past week. Just because I was having second thoughts, didn't mean he was as well. As much as he tried to play it off, Edward did want to come to the party. He wanted to let loose from all the stress he's been having from school as of late.

"No, we can't" I mouth, thankful for the fact that the sun was still up so he could read my lips. I didn't feel like getting my phone out of the tightest jeans I've ever worn. Courtesy of Alice, of course, I mean, honestly, when in the hell would I have willingly worn black tight skinnies. I could hardly get in the car! They were that tight. I had to suck in the small amount of fat my stomach had _and_ lay down on the bed to be able to squeeze into these fuckers. I didn't understand until Alice told me she got me a size too small to make my ass look bigger.

We spent about two hours in my bathroom getting ready, as she did my make-up she tried to talk me into wearing heels but I quickly put a stop to that thought.

I didn't like heels, sure some were pretty but I can't walk for shit in them. So we settled with her being able to pick out my outfit if I got to wear my chucks.

She was so thrilled and I grasped my mistake as she started rambling on and on about what I'd wear. I probably should have paid more attention to her because she gave me no room to complain as I was forced to wear a 'diner bustier top'. That's what Alice called it. I just called it the shirt that I couldn't fully breath in. it did make my boobs look nice though. I especially liked the black and white plaid. I was a plaid kind of girl.

The most color I was wearing was my make-up, she kept my face pretty much bare, simply putting a light coat of concealer and focus her talent and attention to my eyes.

I can't go into detail what she did, because I'm hopeless, but I ended up with an awesome pair of Smokey eyes though. It was interesting to see myself wearing such dramatic eye make-up when all I'm used to is a dab of eyeliner here and some mascara there. I loved the gold and purple colors she used though.

My hair was straightened and then curled again at the tips. Alice being an angel, let me wear a grey beanie, but she made sure to pin it down with bobby pins.

Standing in front of that mirror made me feel so different. Like I was looking at myself but at the same time I wasn't. It felt nice to be all dolled up though because even with everything going on, I still felt like me.

"Ready?" Edward brings me out of my memory and I smile at him in confirmation.

He makes me wait in the car as he walks around to open my door. So old school. I secretly love it.

"You look beautiful, Bella." I feel my cheeks heat and I know that even with the concealer the red will show through, which was probably why Alice skipped out on the blush.

I grab his extended hand and let him help me out of the car, because honestly, I doubt I could have gotten out myself.

"You look handsome." I answer, trying not to be a creeper as I give him a once over…again.

From his natural messy hair, to his just barely there stubble, down to his black button with a white wife beater underneath with the first three buttons undone, to his dark wash jeans and then finishing off with his all black vans.

I almost yelp when his lips are suddenly on mine, but I quickly get over it and kiss him back. My hand goes up to his cheek and I gently run my fingertips against the scratchy surface. He smiles into our kiss and he gives me a sweet final peck before pulling away.

He stares at me for a moment longer before laughing once and pulling me into a hug. I manage to put my chin on his chest to look up and my heart races as I see him already looking down at me smiling.

"I know we haven't even walked inside the house yet, but it means a lot to me that you decided to come." He cradles my face within his finger tips and kisses my nose, my chin and then my lips.

It's a tender kiss and it makes my knees quake, and my stomach fluttered madly.

"C'mon." he whispers with a huge grin on his face and he links our pinkies together pulling me with him to the front door.

"Oh! Hey guys!" Jessica's voice is loud as she opens the front door, "So glad you could make it! Come in, come in!" I hesitantly wave hello to her, unsure of how a tipsy Jessica will react to me.

"Oh my god." She screams but it comes out sounding more like " er mer gerd!"

"Izzy, I totes love your hair." She's walking and talking and we follow her silently.

"Food and drinks are in the kitchen, but there's also a bar over at the bar- uuh ha! I meant living room! Oh my god! Kelly?!"

Jessica whips her head towards us and says "Have fun!" then rushes over to Kelly, who was trying to do shots over some guys junk. Thankfully he still had his pants on.

"Jessica's weird." Edward leans down to murmur in my ear and I fight to giggle as his stubble tickles my cheek. I was so ticklish, it was sick.

"I agree." I tell him and we walk around the house, looking for the kitchen.

Once we find it, I'm almost stunned at how responsible Jessica could be.

When we walked up to the keg there was a guy who held out his hand and simply said, "You can drink, but you can't drive. Hand them over." And then proceeded to take out a Polaroid camera from besides him and snap a picture of both Edward and I.

We both must have looked confused because the guy smirked and said "So I know there your keys."

I shrug when Edward looks at me for help and I end up having stick my hand in his pocket, I laugh when I feel him jerk away from me, to hand over the keys to the guy.

"Name's David, have a good one." He gives both of us a red solo cup and motions for us to pick our poison.

I'm a little shocked when Edward orders a jack and coke, since I didn't peg him for much of a drinker, while I order a simple Sierra Mist.

But I know that when I'm done with my soda I'd be back for the pink panty that was calling my name.

I put my arm around Edwards waist and walk around some more, both nodding our heads to the beat of the music.

Halfway through a Rihanna song (eye roll), he gets a text message from Alice saying that they'd be here soon.

They, the rest of the Cullen siblings, decided to go to the store and get some more food, because Alice and Emmett refused to feed themselves chips and dip for the rest of the night.

"That is not food, Izzy. That is a snack." They reasoned.

"Do you want to look around the house?" Edward asks me as he finishes off his drink.

I nod because even though I've lived here all my life, I've never, before today, been in Jessica's home. It was a spacious two story house, but it had nothing on the Esme's.

We make a quick stop at the kitchen and I finally get my pink panty. It has been my guilty pleasure, Angela's too actually, since the end of freshman year. Angela and I were home alone one day and we both had never had an alcoholic drink so we looked some recipes up, based on what I had around the house thus our love for pink panties emerged.

I take small sips as Edward and I walk around the house, looking at all the pictures hanging on the walls.

We both laugh hard as we see a picture of a 13, or so, year-old Jessica asleep on the kitchen floor with a puddle of drool forming around her.

On the second level of the house, the music isn't so loud, thank god. It must have been because of the door we had to open to get here. The joys of a sound proof door.

"Are you okay?" I ask Edward as he takes a rather large gulp of jack and coke. I see his face twist and I quickly open a door, luckily it was a bedroom, and push him inside.

Forcing him to sit on the edge of the bed, I stand in between his open legs and hold his face between my hands, like he did for me almost an hour ago.

"What's wrong?" I mouth slowly in the fading light.

The room is quiet, the music downstairs a distant rumble.  
"I'm stressing over stupid shit." Edward says leaning his head into my palm.

"If it's bothering you, it isn't shit." I answer and quickly go over to the nightstand and turn on the light. The sun was almost completely gone and he was starting to have to squint to read my lips.

He grabs my hand and pulls me to sit on his lap, where I curl up against him, inhaling his familiar scent along with the faint hints of Axe. Edward was weird when it came to putting that on. He had to spray it away from himself and wait two seconds before walking through the air with the sprayed axe. He said he liked doing it that way, so that the Axe wouldn't be so empowering.

"It's my grades. I feel like their slipping. I don't like it." He whispers to me.

"I can tutor you." I tell him, we had the same or similar courses, maybe during a different period but they covered the same material anyways.

I wasn't behind in school, if anything I was probably a day or two ahead of the curriculum.

"You're awesome, have I told you that?" he says, in the same quiet tone, against my neck.  
I sigh and lean into him some more when I feel his lips leave a series of small kisses on my neck.

"I don't deserve you." He mutters and I shake my head, if anything I didn't deserve him.

"We deserve each other." I tell him, feeling the honesty in my words. My heart races as his hypnotic jade eyes hold my gaze, and we both lean into each other.

Our lips meet and begin a slow, almost playful, dance, but as our breathing becomes more erratic our dance becomes more erotic.

Without breaking out kiss and along with Edwards help, I move so I'm facing him and I wrap my arms around his neck. I keep pulling him closer yet still not feeling close enough. My body feels like its burning and it feels so delicious. Everywhere Edward touches is left in a fiery haze.

This was probably the most intense make-out session we've had to date, and it was probably due to the jack and coke and pink panties. Alcohol made people do crazy things.

I pull back, breathing harder than ever and bit my already swollen lip, but Edward is fucking superman and doesn't need to breathe.

I'm left almost writhing on his lap, which made catching my breath extremely difficult as his hands firmly grab a hold of my waist and drags my more than willing body even closer to him.

Emotions I haven't felt before are racing through my veins and I can't pinpoint them until I feel something very hard underneath my…holy land.

Lust. I was feeling pure unadulterated lust. A part of me was scared of just how much I was feeling but the larger and drunker part of me, I was a light weight, was giddy and excited. It was a pretty damn empowering thing to know I caused his reaction.

Saying fuck it to breathing, I find Edwards lips once more and slowly run my tongue along his lower lip.

The first thing I taste is jack and coke and then it's purely Edward. I've never kissed like this before and it was awkward for a few seconds before we found our way and were soon fighting for dominance.

Edward, obviously, wins that battle and I'm more than okay with that.

"Fuck" he groans out and I feel a zip of electricity run all over my body and straight to my nether regions

It's like the primal lust in me takes over completely and I don't even think as I grind myself against Edward, letting out a breathy moan against his mouth.

"God." I hear Edward say, his voice low and gritty and he thrusts his hips to mine and I gasp out in pleasure against his neck.

The air around us is hot and charged, or maybe that was just what my body was feeling. Who knows?

What I did know is that while I've had 'sexy time' with the shower head (I was mute seventeen year old, that didn't make me a prude), nothing compared to this; to Edward.

"Oh! Fuck." The door is slammed open and out goes the hot and charged air with it.

Edward leans his head over my shoulder and locks his jaw.

"Sorry man…Izzy? Is that you." Of all the people to walk in on us it had to be Mike?

"C'mon." Edward whispers to me and helps me off his lap.

"Didn't mean to interrupt." Mike says with a douche look on his already douche-y face.

"We were just leaving." Edward lies calmly and motions for Mike to move aside.

"Sure you were." He replies as he comes in the room with a very drunk Lauren.

Edward doesn't even dignify him with a response.

"You look hot tonight Izzy." His slimy voice chases away any bit of alcohol I had left in my system and I flip him off as Edward says "Keep your eyes on your date. Not my girlfriend."

"Whatever dude." Mike sneers and slams the door shut after we walk out.

We walk quietly down the stairs and on the third to last step, Edward stops walking.

"Are you okay?" he asks me cupping my face his hand, his eyes searching mine.

"A little embarrassed that we were caught." I shrug with a small smile.

He doesn't look pleased and I put my hands on his shoulders to get him to sit down on the stairs.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I'm okay…great actually. I just… I don't want to scare you off by what happened in there."

My cheeks heat up and I cautiously ask, "Do you regret what happened in there."

His eyes widen like saucers and his voice cracks when he says "No!"

Edward clears his throat, the tips of his ears turning pink.  
"Never, Bella…I just don't want you to think that's all I want from you."

"I know that." I tell him and I sit up straighter when I hear a 'plop' from behind me. I turn over and see my beanie on the floor.

Grabbing it, I turn back to Edward. "You ruined my hair."

He chuckles and brings an arm around my neck to pull me over to him and kisses my cheek, mumbling "I'm sorry."

He tries to help me put my beanie back on but we settle for finding a bathroom when it's obvious that we're both hopeless.

When I look into the mirror, I like what I see. Aside from the swollen lips and messy hair, I look happy. And so does Edward.

I try my best to put my beanie back on like Alice had it and I'd like to think I was doing a good job of it.

When I'm putting the last bobby pin in, Edward gets a call from Alice and she's literally screaming.

"Where are you!" Edward cringes and pulls his phone away from his ear.

He hangs up and sends her a message: Go to the kitchen.

"Let's go get drunk." He smirks

And with that we go to the kitchen, like nothing had happened upstairs, but every time we caught each other's gaze and had that little knowing smile, it was like we were back up there.

The night goes on and I introduce Alice and Rosalie to my guilty pleasure. They're on the 4th cup and I'm on my 5th.

When Rosalie is tipsy, I think she likes me, because it's her hand that is holding my arm as the Cullen sisters drag me to the living room, which had been transformed into the dance floor.

We dance, but it's mostly jumping up and dance to Bruno Mar, Jessie J and some more Rihanna.

With much begging and pouting we manage to bring our boys out and they dance with us.

"Do you want to get some air?" Edward says when there's a break in the music and I nod my head.

We grab our drinks from one of the tables and go outside to the cold brisk air, but it feels heavenly on my overheated skin.

"Are you glad you came?" he asks as he takes a swig of his drink.

"Very." I answer and down my pink panty.

"Does that even taste good?"

I nod my head like a mad women and he still doesn't look convinced.

"I'm going to bring you one." I tell him and rush back inside.

Edward POV.

I laugh as Bella disappears into the party house; she was determined to get me to taste a pink panty.

I stretch my back and sigh contently leaning against the house frame, feeling the effects of the Jack Daniels become more evident. Normally I thought the cold was supposed to sober you up, because, if anything, I felt drunker than before.

"What a total babe." I hear some guy chortle out.

"I thought she was a prude, but apparently not." I hear Mike the fuck-face say and I lean closer to the door to hear some more. You couldn't be Alice's brother and not be prone to be the tiniest nosy.

"Izzy though? All down and dirty? It's hard to imagine" I choke on my spit and furrow my brows.

Izzy…surely they weren't talking about Bella, my girlfriend, as if she was a slut.

Anger burns in my veins and I chug the rest of my jack and coke before carelessly throwing my cup to the floor.

"The fuck did you just say about Bella?" I say loudly when I walk through the door.

Mike, Eric and some other dweebs look like they were caught watching soft porn by their mothers.

"We're talking about Izzy. Does she like it freaky?" I didn't know if Bella liked it freaky, but I do know I liked punching Mike in the face.

The fucker drops like a fly and gets back up with his cheek red and eyes watery. Fucking pussy.

"When you're done with her, can I have a turn?" He says with a fucking ugly smirk on his face.

"Shut the fuck up!" I yell and grab him by his shirt and push him to the wall.

"Don't talk about her like she's some type of whore!" I've never been one to like violence but punching Mike in the face felt too great to stop.

But then his pussy friends decided to gang up on me.

Eric and some other pimpled geek grab me by the arms and let Mike get in a good punch to my stomach.

But not only am I drunk and pissed off, I have Emmett as a brother and he teaches you a few things.

I manage to break free and focus my attention on Mike. I tackle him, with an angry yell, and we land back outside on the front porch. In the back of my mind, I can hear some of the party people yelling out sides.

I feel a few good jabs to my ribs but I'm on top and punch him once more, hearing a satisfying crunch of his nose.

"Don't like sharing?" Mike says as he takes a break of screaming like a bitch.

"Do you ever shut up!" I growl and raise my fist to punch he fucker again, only someone tries to grab my fist and I'm so pissed I don't even stop to see who it is before I roughly push them away.

It's a girl cry that makes my blood run cold. I look around and see who exactly it was I pushed.

"Bella." I choke out as I see her on the front lawn. I climb off of Mike and reach a hand towards her taking a step off the porch.

"Bella, I'm-" but as I get closer I see her face contort into pure fear and still on her butt she scrambles away with her shoes kicking up loose grass and dirt.

I watch with my heart stuck in my throat as Bella gets up slips a little but regains her footing at the last second and runs away.

"What the fuck did you do?" Rosalie shrieks at me and points to Mike, who finally is quiet aside from his blubbering.

"I don't know." I tell her honestly, my head moving back and forth from where Bella ran off to and towards Mike.

"Where's Bella?" she asks curiously.

"I don't know."

My vision doubles and before I know it I was off the porch and running.

_I run with my breath leaving in short rapid white puffs in the chilly biting winter air_

Bella POV.

I knew something was wrong when I walked back into the living room, stealing some sips of Edwards pink panties and everyone was crowded around the front door.

"_Shut up the fuck up!" _ I hear Edwards voice above all the music and I hear the crowd murmur their bets about who would win: Edward or Mike.

I hear him yell some more and I drop the cup of alcohol and push my way through the crowd.

It's a weird sense of déjà vu as I make my way to Edward and Mike. And I should have learned my lesson about cutting into a boy fight before but I didn't.

Seeing Edward so unrestrained and volatile was just like seeing _him_ all over again. And I hated that. I couldn't let Edward be like him.

My stomach churned as my mind played tricks on me and instead of seeing Edward and Mike; I saw James and that senior all over again.

I force my vision to see straight again just in time to see Edward raise his fist to punch Mike once more.

I throw myself towards Edward and grab his balled fist, but I don't expect him to roughly push me away with such a force. I stumble back and step on a forgotten solo cup, and my eyes widen as I take another step and feel gravity takes its hold on me.

With my eyes clenched shut, I can't help myself as I let out a girly scream of fright.

The ground meeting my ass knocked the wind out of me and I'm stunned.

"Bella?" my eyes snap up towards the sound of Edwards voice, but I only see James. My mouth waters and my breathing quickens in fear as I see James reach a hand towards me.

_He's angry._

I imitate a crab and try to get away and as I slip once I push myself up and use that momentum to run away as fast as I can.

I take all the short cuts I can think of and run to the one place I haven't been to in what felt like forever.

I sniffle loudly, breathing hard and pray to Buddha that the spare key was still in the mail box.

When I get inside, I lock all the locks that my chief of police father had installed before leaving to grannies.

My body comes down from the adrenaline and I slump against the door, but I end up falling as my muddy shoes slid against the floor.

I cringe in pain and I whine to myself, bringing my hands up from beside me. They're scrapped and bloody. Like a robot, I go through the motions of cleaning my cuts and make my way to my room.

I change out of my outfit and into some of my father's flannel pajama pants and a black tank top.

For the longest of time I just stare at my bed and block memories of the last time I was in a similar situation. With a sigh, I climb into bed and stare at my cut up hands.

"Bella," I search around the room wondering if I was going crazy.

"Open the window. Please. Just…just open the window." Edward's choked voice comes out once more and I turn my gaze to said window.

Through the little crack of the curtains I can see his form but I don't move.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please." He says and I can barely hear him.

Biting my lower lip, I walk to the window and pull the curtains apart. I stare curiously as I take in his face. His lips are almost blue and I can see trails of dried tears on his cheeks. He looked so young…and vulnerable.

"Bella." He sighs looking tortured and it's a face I'm not accustomed to seeing. I let him in.

"I've been looking for you." He mutters, shuffling his feet around "I was scared."

I go back to sitting in the middle of my bed, and I feel myself start to wait. I wait for him to get angry for leaving. Just like James would have been.

_He isn't James_ a tiny voice says in my head and I mull it over. _He's here._

I stop breathing by this fact.

"You're here." I mouth slowly

"Of course, I'm here. Where else would I be?"

On instinct I clench my hands and wince a little as my nails dig into my torn flesh then check to see if I was bleeding again.

"Oh god." I hear and I look up to see Edwards horror struck gaze zeroed in on my hands.

I try to hide them from his view but he quickly crosses the bed and gently grabs my hands towards him.

"Did I do this?" he says turning his head from my face to my hands.

"No." I tell him and try to swallow the knot that was quickly forming in my throat.

"It happened tonight though, right?"

Edward POV

It hurt so fucking bad to see Bella nod, it crushed me.

"About tonight." I say after a moment but then pause and out of habit, correct myself; "about last night."  
She looks confused and turns around to find her phone. She finds out that it's almost four in the morning.

"You were up all night?" she asks with her eyes wide with emotion, which only causes me confusion.

"Where else would I have gone Bella? I- I pushed you off those stairs. I hurt you. I feel so horrible about it. I didn't know where you went or what I was going to do." My breathing picks up and i feel like I'm suffocating under all the guilt I feel.

"Shh." Bella shushes me and pulls my face towards her. She rests her forehead against mine and keeps shushing me until I can breathe normally again.

I may be proud of something's but I didn't even bother trying to hide my tears. When I said I didn't deserve Bella, I truly meant it. This just proved it even more.

I bring my hands and cradle her face in my hands, treating her like she was a fragile porcelain doll, trying to erase my past actions towards her.

"I'm so sorry. I know I've said that already but I mean it so much. I'll keep saying it until you believe me, just please Bella tell you forgive me."

I've never been put, or put myself, in this type of situation and the fact that Bella can say no causes my stomach to churn. If I hadn't already thrown up a while ago I probably would have done so right now.

_Oh fuck._ I think as I see Bella's eyes well up and she wrenches her face away from me.

Am I seriously losing my girlfriend right now?

"Baby, please." I whisper "I was drunk and I never met to push you. You know I would never hurt you like that."

She nibbles on her lip, still looking away from me.

"I know." She mouths slowly, "but if you ever touch me like that ever again, we're done."

"I swear, I won't fuck up." I tell her sighing out a deep breath of relief and open my arms because I just seriously needed to hold her..

"Don't go weird on me." She tells me and leans in to me.

We stay in that position for a minute or so and I break the silence with a yet another sigh.

"I know you say you forgive me but I seriously need you to know-" she stops me by putting her small finger against my lips.

She gives me a once over and then tells me "you need to sleep, talking can wait until you wake up. You look like shit"

I chuckle because it gives me hope that we can still be Bella and Edward. She wouldn't be my Bella if she wasn't blunt.

I watch quietly as she moves to sit against her bed frame and pats her lap.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep is her finger tips gently running through my hair and praying that everything didn't change in the morning.

Bella POV

It's 7 in the morning and I'm in the kitchen eating a forgotten packet of pop tarts from the pantry while Edward is upstairs sleeping.

He fell asleep around five ten and I just simply never fell asleep, I was too busy trying not to freak out.

I wasn't saying that I had completely forgiven Edward for pushing me, because he had honestly scared me. But as I was sitting on my bed with Edwards head on my lap and tracing the length of his nose with my index finger, I figure something's out.

As far as I know, the Edward I'm dating and like could never hurt me. Before tonight, he had never acted so wild or angry. I knew I had to ask him about that when he woke up.

Then, I realized that a lot of my fear towards Edward was being fueled by James. It caused bile to rise up in my throat when I realized I had been comparing Edward to him.

I probably wouldn't have realized it had it not been for Edward saying what he said.

"_I've been looking for you."_

"_Of course, I'm here. Where else would I be?"_

Unlike that night years ago, where I spent all night waiting for James to come to my room (which he didn't) and then coming over in the morning without even remembering what he did…

Edward did come. He came. He was here. He remembered, he cried, he feels remorse.

Edward isn't James. No one can be James other than James.

"Good morning." I look towards the entry and can't help but smile at Edward's still sleepy form.

"Morning." I answer and offer him the second pop tart.

He sluggishly moves towards the table and accepts my offer, taking a big bite while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

I'm looking at my hands, because I have nothing else to do, when Edward suddenly speaks up.

"I'm so sorry."

I reach across the table and grab one of hands with both of mine.

"I know you are."

He sighs putting down his pop tart and pulls me around the table, towards him.

"Last night" he starts as I hop up on his lap and rest my head in the crook of his neck. "I didn't plan on getting into that fight."

"Then what happened?" I pull away to ask him, placing my hands on his chest, and with my right hand I could feel just how fast his heart was beating.

"When you left to get that drink, I was just chilling. Then I heard some guys talking about this girl...talking about you. And the more I heard I recognized that it was Mike. He was talking about what happened upstairs and he made it seem like you were..." I feel his hands on my back clench into fists and I could piece together what Mike was saying. But it didn't matter to me if he had called me a slut or whatever word he actually used. He didn't matter.

"I was drunk, we established that, but I just couldn't seem to control my anger. All I wanted to do was bash the guy's head in because you are anything but what he was describing you as."

"and then I went to confront him about it, he acted like it was okay for him to talk smack about you in front of me. I probably wouldn't have punched him so many times but he wouldn't shut up. That's why it escalated." He shuts his eyes closed and rests his head on my shoulder.

"I was trying to defend your honor and I end up pushing you off the porch."

My eyebrows pinch together and then my eyes go wide.

"No you didn't" I tell him as I pull his head up from my shoulder.

"What?"

"You didn't push me off the porch, Edward, I fell."

He opens his mouth to protest but I put my hand over it to shut him up.

"You pushed me, yes, but only enough to make me stumble. I fell because I stepped on a cup and tripped backwards. It just happened to be off the porch."

"I'm never drinking again; it's not worth possibly losing my shit with you around." He swears and hugs me closer. It's probably too soon or whatever but I know in my heart that I forgave Edward completely, I couldn't be mad at or scared of him, not when all I felt was safe and content while in his arms. It's when his stomach growls that we pull apart and I tell him to finish eating so we could go home.

I go upstairs to change and as I'm walking up the stairs and looking at all the pictures I realize that the Cullen home felt more like a home to me than this place here.

In my room I find a hair tie and braid my hair then carelessly throw my beanie on. I put in the same shirt from last night, not even caring that it's half stained with the pink panty.

"Oh shit," Edward says from the door way when I'm pulling the death jeans back on and I laugh at how modest he can be when we practically dry humped in one of the rooms in Jessica's house not even twelve hours ago.

I wave him in because I know I won't be able to pull my pants up by myself, but even with my nonchalant act I still feel my cheeks blush as he does as I say.

I feel warm and slightly shy as he tries to keep his eyes on my face but fails a few times and ends up staring at my thighs. Thank fuck I wore cute underwear. Well actually thank Alice for picking a pair of black boy shorts with little red polka dots on them.

I hop over to him and demonstrate that I want his hands on the hem of my jeans.

"I suck, you pull." I explain and don't get why he snorts before it dawns on me.

"Pig."

"No, Bella, I'm a guy."

"One, two, three." He counts and on three I jump up, sucking in my stomach while Edward pulls them up. For such a lanky looking guy though, he sure can be deceivingly strong because not only does he pull my pants up but he freaks me out by how high he causes me to go up in mid-jump. I end up locking my arms around his neck as I come down and we crash to the floor.

Laughing at his groan of pain I roll off of him and button my jeans.

"That was so weird; I never want to do that again." He says still on the floor.

"I promise." I tell him as I climb over him and straddle his stomach leaning down to kiss him once in apology.

"Oh grow up." I roll my eyes and cross my arms as Edward wags his eyebrows up and down with a smirk..

"That doesn't help your case" he laughs his eyes blatantly on my boobs.

"Stop it!" I think I turn tomato red and smack his chest with my fists once before jumping up and grabbing the pair of toms I had forgotten during my initial packing but been meaning to get. I didn't feel like dealing with my chucks.

I run down the stairs and put them on before taking about two minutes to undo all those stupid locks.

"Bella!" Edward calls from up from my room and I ignore him, loudly closing the door behind me, but putting my ear against the door.

I hear a loud groan and then Edward walking down the stairs.

"Oh fuck, shit." He says before I hear a series of thumps.

I open the door back up and the first thing I see is Edward dusting off his shirt.

He looks stunned as he hears the door open and I bite my lip as I see his cheeks turn the softest shade of pink.

Cautiously I look around but nothing looks out of place.

"What-"

"Nothing."

"But I-"

"It was nothing."

We have a stare down and Edward stops it by saying "I'm hungry." with a big cheesy smile.

"Dork."

I lock the house back up and we look lost for a few seconds, not really knowing what to do.

The Big Bang by rock mafia rings out and Edward fumbles around patting his pockets and pulling my phone out and then his.

"Hello?" He says raising the hand that is holding my phone over his head. I give him the look I recently called 'the Rosalie' because it always worked when she used it on Emmett.

I give Edward a blank stare and shift my weight on one foot while resting my hand on my hip.

His eyes start shifting around but I hold on strong. When he turns away from me I clear my throat and he turns back.

"Stop it, that's freaky." he mouth to me and then says "Well Emmett I'm obviously still alive."

"She's here with me...why'd you take my car? Did you fuck it up?...I'll explain later...no it's fine. We'll walk. Yes. I'm sure. Oh my god, Emmett are you still drunk? I'm hanging up now."

"What _are _you _doing_?" Edward says as I try to scale up his body to get my phone. I wasn't having any luck. Clearly I needed to work on 'the Rosalie' some more.

"Give. Me. My. Phone." I tell him slowly to show I meant business.

"Give. Me. A. Kiss." He says mockingly and points to his lips.

I lean in and give him a quick peck but he wraps his arms around me and bites my lip, causing me to give a little sigh in which he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth.

I always thought 'French kissing' would be kind of nasty because I thought it would be all slimy feeling but Edward made everything sexier, not slimier.

I don't know where he puts our phones because he suddenly places his hands on my ass and lifts me up; I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist and shiver as he moves so my back is against the cold front door.

There's a slow burning sensation brewing in the pit of my stomach but comes to a crash halt when I see one of my elderly neighbors staring straight at us with her jaw dropped open while I'm taking a breath and Edward is focused on my neck.

I force my head into Edward's neck and I point towards my nosy neighbor so Edward can stop.

He laughs loudly, causing me to jump in his arms.

"What a lovely morning, isn't it?" He calls over to her and lets me down.

As she stutters for a response I wrap my arms around Edward and, like a ninja, creep my arms down to his pockets. Once I find my phone I snatch it out and turn to the nosy neighbor.

"Bye" I mouth widely grabbing Edwards hand and start walking towards the direction of the Cullen home.

"Have a nice day." Edward yells from over his shoulder and then sniggers beside me for a minute or so.

Boys, I swear.

* * *

_**By the way, Bella's outfit is on my polyvore. i'll try and set up the link on my profile. :)**_

_**Do you hate it? love it? **_

_**please, pleeease leave a review:D **_

_**i'll send you Edwards to make out with. **_


	27. Chapter 27

Have you ever just found yourself starting at someone doing something seemingly innocent yet you found it sexy? Hormones are a strange thing. I should probably listen to my biology teacher more often. I bet the subject of hormones has been covered already. I'll have to Google this later.

I watch enamored at the scene before me, Edward tilting his head back and drinking from his coca cola. I could clearly see his Adam's apple working with each swallow. It's been almost two weeks since the party at Jessica's house and things are sort of back to normal. Edward was finally done with the ridiculous notion that he had to treat me like a fragile doll, which suited me well. It was cute the first few hours but when I could try to kiss my boyfriend he'd hold back. I wasn't okay with that.

From under the cafeteria table I feel someone bump my shin firmly and it causes me to look away from Edward. I turn my gaze to find Rosalie starting at me with a smirking smile and discreetly wiping the side of her mouth.

The look screams, _you're drooling_.

With a shy smile I look down at my tray of food and pick at my chili cheese fries, managing to just barely hear Rosalie's snickers over my music. Besides me, the subject of my creeper staring, Edward picks up my iPod from the table and scrolls through my music until he finds 'pumped up kicks'. Reaching over he tugs the earphones from their place and fixes them so we both are listening to the depressingly upbeat song.

Stabbing two fries I shove them in my mouth and chew while nodding my head to the beat. From the corner of my eye I see Rosalie still looking over with her now usual soft small smile.

It's been a long two weeks, those in which Rosalie and I came to an understanding.

We had literally been in the house for two minutes before I'm pulled into a hallway by Rosalie. Her gaze wanders over my person and she opens her mouth to speak but instead shakes her head and keeps on pulling me somewhere.

I'm slowly trudging my feet behind her because she was most likely going to ruin my morning.

"Are you okay?" she asks whispering once we go inside her room. Confused I nod my head yes but she doesn't believe me and keeps on pestering me for a good minute before I get annoyed and throw my arms out and twirl in a circle to show her I had no bones sticking out of my body.

With a sigh she explains her sudden worried motherly inquisition. Apparently she had seen the whole showdown with Mike and her brother, meaning that she also saw when I fell off the porch. She starts rambling and telling me that if Edward is being anything less than a gentleman, I could tell her. "Just because he's my brother doesn't mean I won't turn his ass in for domestic abuse" are the exact words she says and had I been drinking something she would have completely been soaked.

It takes me a moment to calm her down before I am the one pulling. I sit her down on her beautifully made bed and explain the situation to her. Incredibly I see a soft blush burst from her normally pale face and she awkwardly stutters over her apologies for assuming anything. I sit down beside her and we're silent for a while.

"I don't hate you." She says looking down at her comforter and tracing the stitching.

"I mean, I used to hate you but...it's different now."

I don't respond in any way until she looks up.

"How is it different?" I asked curiously.

"Edward has been changing. Not a complete 180, but he's changing nonetheless and I'm not saying you're the exact reason." She stops and gives me such a pointed a stare that I end up raising my hands as if to say 'I give'

"You're part of it. I think the move has allowed Edward to free himself from his body guard roll"

With my questioning look, she ended up side tracking into a story about the Cullen family back in LA. And I immediately feel sad and immensely proud of Alice because of her revealed past. Afterwards it doesn't take a genius to figure out why Rosalie hated me. And I tell her I'm sorry even though I didn't physically have anything to do with the move. She waved off my apology and stands up, motioning me to follow as well.

"It doesn't matter. I'm fine with it. I know now that the move wasn't for not. It'll help." She says over her shoulder and gives me a real smile before going to the living room, effectively leaving me wonder just who the move will help. I needed sleep.

"Babe?" Edward mumbles against my hair and I'm brought from my thoughts.

"Were you planning on ditching class?" He says amused and I look around the school cafeteria to see that it's all but empty with the exception of a few stragglers.

I wind the earphones cord around my iPod and toss it into my bag before pulling my bag pack over my shoulder.

"Your hand's so cold." Edward muses as I take his outstretched one with mine and we begin walking to class.

I shrug not really knowing how to respond and he laughs at me before taking both my hands and putting them to his cheek. Beneath my fingers I feel his jaw clench as he tries to suppress a shiver.

We make it to class seconds before the bell rings and I attempt to learn but figure I can just look over Edwards' notes tonight.

~.~

"Iz!" Angela gasps as I scare her after school in the parking lot.

"Heeey girl heeey." I mouth, my mind flashing to when Emmett said the same thing to Jasper the night prior.

She chuckles softly and pulls her hair over to one shoulder.

"Where have you been?" I ask and sync our feet like we used to do in freshman year.

"Where haven't I been?" She retorts and pauses, "oh god that sounded slutty,"

I smirk at her not bringing up the fact that she deflected my question. I was serious too. Lately Angela has been like a ghost. I would see her during passing period but as for our shared classes we didn't sit together anymore. I frown to myself knowing that I was just as much to blame for her absence in my life as of late. A cell phone worked both ways.

"So you and Edward?" She says with a curious yet happy tone.

My cheeks heat up along with an eruption of a girlish butterfly sensation in my stomach.

"Oh my god! You and Edward!" She screams-laughs and clutches my arm while jumping up and down.

"I knew it! I so knew it. How come you didn't tell me sooner?" We come to her car and she looks at me excitedly. I shrug with a smile on my face and lean against her car.

"Are you busy today?" I ask her deciding that it was time to tell her my situation. I was amazed that she hadn't confronted me about it, or if she even had the slightest idea about anything.

I watch as her face falls and she struggles to recompose herself.

"Kind of. But I'll text you when I'm free, yeah?"

I act unaffected by the news even though I am. Nonetheless I accept her offer and we hug each other good bye.

I stay close to my phone all day but I never get the text.

~.~

"Izzy! I need help." Alice comes into my room after knocking twice and jumps onto my bed besides me. Putting down my homework I turn to her and see her frown at her iPod touch.

"Help me." She drags out the word for about ten seconds and I chuckle at her antics.

She turns her iPod towards me and I see that she's playing '4 pictures 1 word'. I recently started playing the game and I had shown it to everyone in the house. We were all addicted. But considering this was a solely Apple product home, the version we had wasn't the completed game. I made it to level 183 before I ran out of available levels. Now I was stuck to wait for the updates.

I was considering switching to an android phone just to get the version of the game that went past 200 levels.

On the screen are four pictures: the first was a picture of a door, the second of a mailbox with the symbol ' ' in it, the next was a screen shot of the word 'link' in the search bar and the last was of a type of business woman holding a microphone to her lips.

Remembering when I played this level I quickly type out the answer: Address.

"Oh. My. God." Alice groans angrily staring down her iPod.

"How did I not get that?" She growls and reaches up to kiss my cheek in thanks and flitters out of my room. Yeah, she flitters.

"You helped her with that!" Jasper laughs at my door way and I nod my head smiling at his soothing low timber of a laugh.

"Emmett owes me 100 bucks now. She spent like an hour on that before she gave up and came to you."

"What'd you wager?" I ask and motion him in.

"I bet that she'd breaks before an hour and a half. He had more faith in her and said she'd break after two hours."

I roll my eyes at him and put my homework away. Clearly I wasn't going to get anymore done. Jasper and I don't have a close best friend vibe that is obvious, but once he comes to me it's for something interestingly funny.

"We're gonna go to the movies and watch that new zombie movie that came out. You down?"

"Like down under." I respond with a blank expression.

"You're weird, Swan. You're weird. Edward is a true man." He replies sassily and I flip him off.

"Let's go!" He suddenly yells and gestures me to get up. He keeps on saying the words insistently as I go around my room getting ready.

When his impatience gets the better of him, he snatches my shoes from the floor as I'm reaching towards them. Without giving me a chance to even look annoyed he runs out of the room and yells out "She's ready!"

His childish demeanor is infectious and I grab my phone off the bed before running after him full speed.

It's on the last flight of stairs that I catch up and mindlessly throw myself at his back.

"Oof fuck!" He grunts and we end up falling. We tumble down for a few seconds before we finally stop moving. It's silent for a moment before something comes and pokes me in the ribs. Ignoring the slight ache in my arm, I start to giggle because falling down the stairs was both scary and fun and I was ticklish. I hear Jasper snort from somewhere and pretty soon we're just a jumble of laughter. I lift my head up, but can't see anything because my hair is in my face.

"I think they're on drugs." I hear Alice say and the rest of the family agrees with her.

"C'mon crazy chick." Edward tells me as he helps me up with a tender smile.

"Have fun!" Esme calls out as we drive past the house on our way out.

"Bye mommy!" Emmett sticks his head out of the window and waves live a madman.

Almost half an hour later we arrive to the movie theater and get the next showing for Warm Bodies.

"Alright, let's kill some zombie fuckers." Jasper and Emmett say loudly once the movie starts and then begin giggling like school girls, which makes it pretty obvious that they planned to say that. Dorks.

It's halfway into the movie that my butt falls asleep and I squirm in my seat. To be honest the movie was kind of boring, however, it was better than Rango. God that movie sucked hairy balls.

"You okay?" Edward leans down to whisper in my ear. I nod while bringing my index finger to my lips, politely telling him to shut up. Eventually though, I get fed up and lift the arm rest between us before bringing my legs up and resting my head on his chest.

With his arm around me and the comforting sound of his heart beat under my ear, I doze off until the movie ends.

"Leave her alone" I hear someone whisper above me, and I feel something tickle my nose.

I crinkle my nose and snuggle deeper into Edward's chest.

"Emmett, stop." More whispering, and with my sleeping daze clearing up, I recognized the voice as Alice.

"I think she's drooling." I hear Jasper chuckle in the background and my eyes pop wide open with my hand coming up to my mouth to check for said drool.

They all start laughing at me and beside me I feel Edward jolt.

"What's happening?" he mutters as he brings the heel of his palms to his eyes and rubs the sleep from them. "Oh god, what time is it?" he groans out in a husky tone.

"The movie ended almost thirty minutes ago. The cleanup crew is getting tired of waiting. We gave them a bill so they'd leave us alone for a while, but the next showings about to start." Rosalie explains and rips the tatter napkin from Emmett's hand as he went in to tickle her nose.

"I'm hungry! Let's go get food." Emmett says and we all agree with his statement. We let Edward wake up a bit more before we meander out of the theater and get into the car.

We end up going to this little hole in the wall pizza joint and order an extra-large pizza with almost all the toppings available (except anchovies, Alice swore she'd throw up) to go.

Back in the parking lot, Edward claims the car keys because he didn't trust Emmett to drive and not eat a slice of the pizza so I end up going in the passenger seat back home.

I sit with my back against the door and lean my head against the window. From my position I can see throw the crack of the headrest to the shenanigans that the eldest Cullen brothers are doing.

"Stop it." Em whines while pushing Jasper away and inching closer to Rosalie.

"C'mon baby. It'll be fun." Jasper croons and gives his brother a sexy look. I see his hand start creeping up Emmett's arm and Em's face starts too ashen.

It's when Jasper shoves his hand into Emmett's armpit that Emmett replies with "Oh my God. Get out of me. I'm going to be sick."

The car erupts with laughter and I laugh so hard my ribs begin to hurt.

"Fuck you guys." He mumbles when we calm down and we all fight to giggle as Jasper retorts back "Oh please baby."

I roll my eyes away from them and focus on Edward. My heart stutters when I see that he's already looking at me.

"What?" I ask him and he smiles with a shake of his head.

"You look happy." He answers quietly over the sound of his talking family.

My eyebrows close together as I smile questioningly

"Because I am."

He puts his hand out towards me and I lean over to clasp it with mine.

My cheeks warm considerably as he lifts our joint hands to kiss the back of mine and I feel the stare of all his brothers and sisters on us.

"Good." He mumbles against my skin.

~.~

School starts up the next day and I head to first period anxiously to find two open seats. Which I do, but the second seat stays open when Angela doesn't show up for class.

"Are you okay?" Alice asks me during our free period. I bite my lip and shrug while staring at my phone. I wanted to text her, but with the way things have been lately, I could only assume she didn't come to school because she was either sick or busy with family matters. In the end, I opted against texting her for the fear of bother her. Alice and I spend the rest of the period playing MASH and I end up marrying Dean Winchester where we live in a mansion raising two kids while I drive a Bugatti to my job as an elephant pooper scooper at the local zoo.

After school we divide up the cars, the boys going in Edwards to go to Port Angeles for something and we girls, in Rosalie's, go to the store to buy junk food for tomorrow's impromptu movie night.

We end up buying almost one hundred dollars-worth of chips, dips, and sugary sweets and then head home. We go our separate ways after putting the bought goods into their respective places.

Now I'm up in my room reading One Direction Fanfiction. It was a new found guilty pleasure. Damn Alice and her fangirling ways. In a matter of days I have decided that Zayn was my number one, followed by Harry, Liam, Niall and lastly Louis.

He was last mostly for the fact I didn't like his name. Every time I saw Louis, I read it as "Lewis". It was so annoying.

"Babe?" Edward pulls me from my boy band obsessed thoughts and I look away from my iPod to see him leaning against my door way.

"Hi." I smile brightly at him and wave him closer.

He walks the distance between us and kisses me once before sitting down beside me.

"I didn't think you'd be here," He said taking my iPod and rolling his eyes at me when he saw what was on my safari page. My cheeks warm and I attempt to take my iPod away from him while he just laughs and holds it over his head. His arms are too long for me to reach my iPod.

"I just assumed you'd be helping Angela with the packing." My body froze with confusion and I pull back from my place on Edwards lap to look at his face.

"What do you mean?" I ask my head tilted to the side. Irrationally my heart starts pounding and I hear ringing in my ear. _Packing?! _

Dropping my iPod on my bed, my boyfriend brings his hands to push my hair from my face.

"Bella, there's a moving truck in her driveway…" he says slowly. For a second, I literally forget how to breathe and in the span of two heartbeats I'm off his lap, rushing to my desk for my car keys and running down the flight of stairs. I hear Edward call out to me, but I don't stop.

_No, no, no, no_, I keep chanting on my way out. A moving truck. Those meant moving away. That would mean she…no… just no.

I force my mind to blank out and I sped to her house.

I arrive on the familiar street and don't even bother turning off my car before I jog up her drive way and to her door.

_Bang, bang, bang, ba- _"Mom! We don't have enough room for the-" Angela stops talking when she looks up from her occupied hand and sees me.

"Izzy…" She says completely shocked and follows my gaze to the interior of her house. The walls were bare of their family pictures and the only things left were the couch set and the coffee table that had piles of different sized boxes upon it.

"You're moving." I state looking Angela dead in the eyes.

She drops her eyes and begins to dig her shoes into the carpet.

"…Yes."


	28. Chapter 28

_**Mistakes are mine, like always.**_

_**Chapter 28 - I'm Mute **_

* * *

**Now:**

His alarm clock reads 3:34 AM, but I don't feel a lick of sleepiness. There were few times in my life thus far that I felt legitimately lonely. In those times, I would suffer through the feelings, hoping and wishing that I'd find something to distract me enough to make me feel a part of something once more.

I've felt lonely for almost two weeks now. Emotionally empty. Physically I was surrounded by people who vocalized that they care for me time and time again in the recent events that have occurred. But it didn't make a difference. It was like I heard their words but I didn't put out the effort to let myself feel comfort in them.

I had an epiphany of sorts earlier today, it was from the simplest if actions but it still meant so much to me.

Edward and I were downstairs watching MTV; the Show With Vinny was on. I hadn't been paying attention or participating in the conversations around me. My gaze was solely on the little dent on the coffee table.

If I was being honest, I had began to annoy myself with my lack of emotions. Had I been in someone else's shoes I would have told myself to fuck off already.

It was another reason to remind myself that Edward was a genuinely nice guy.

He didn't say anything special or over the top. No, all he did was take my limp hand and hold it -His silent admission that he was there for me. It warmed the hole that had been torn open, in the place my heart was supposed to be located. It's like a dim memory in my mind even though this all happened less than six hours ago.

His hand had gently squeezed my own and I remember tiling my head up to see his face.

It was that lovingly tender look on his face that made me blush for the first time in days.

One moment I was staring at Edward and the next I was hiding my face in the crook of his neck with his strong arms around me. No other words had been spoken, and while I felt the eye of his family on us, no one spoke about it.

Around 10 or 11, I'm not entirely sure, we had all gone up to our rooms to sleep but I stayed awake.

It was like I was fishing for the same warmth I felt in Edwards arms but couldn't find it.

It's with an annoyed huff that I changed into my 'sweats and one of Edwards t shirts' pajamas and made my way into his room via the conjoined bathroom.

Desperately I wanted to wake him, but I didn't want to disrupt his sleep. So like a stalker I've been staring at him, debating if I should or should not gently shake his shoulder. I was very torn.

However, my internal dilemma was interrupted when I heard Edward give a forceful sigh and he started squirming in his sleep. He dug his head deeper into his pillow and he turned over.

With my eyes that had long since adjusted to the dark, I could see when his own eyes slowly opened.

I was trying not to move, hoping that if I remained still he'd fall back asleep and I could just go back to my room. The cowardly lion had nothing on me.

"Babe?" His voice is husky with sleep and I cringe as he sleepily fumbles with trying to turn on the lamp on his night stand.

Bright lights come on and I snap my eyes shut as it burns at first.

"Are you okay?" He asks extending his hand towards me. I crawl onto the bed and shrug in reply once I'm sitting next to him, selfishly enjoying the warmth I receive as I weave out hands together.

"Did you go to sleep?" He murmurs throwing his arm around me and pulling me to his chest.

As I feel his head rest on the crown of my own, I honestly shake my head no.

"Are you back?" He asks and I only shrug once more. As his body heat radiates and envelops me in a warm cocoon, my eyes feel heavy and begin to droop.

"Sleep." He hums and the last thing I feel before I finally fall asleep is his lips against my temple.

**Then:**

"You're moving." I state looking Angela dead in the eyes.

She drops her eyes and begins to dig her shoes into the carpet.

"…Yes."

My jaw locks and I have to force my rationality to stay in my mind.

After what feels like hours she finally looks up.

"When are you leaving?" I ask mindful to carefully form the words. It was hard for others to understand me when I was yell-mouthing.

"In like a month and a half...most likely."

My eyes widen like saucers a my jaw drops open.

"Where you even going to tell me?" I ask stepping back as I stare at Angela. This was my friend, a girl I've known almost all my life, and someone I felt who knew me better than anyone else. And yet...staring at her, watching her stumble over an obvious lie, she had never felt more like a stranger.

Upon seeing my growing irritation, Angela loses her own victim facade and blurts out

"Don't act like you're so wronged! You hide shit too, Izzy, and I don't get mad at you."

It was like a slap to the face and without replying, I turn on my heels and walk off the porch.

"Oh my god." I hear her whisper and following footsteps.

"Izzy-" she starts but I interrupt her.

"I may keep secrets. But I'm not the one moving out of the state."

I ruthlessly bat her extended arm away and continue walking back to my car.

As I turn it on, I can hear Angela calling out my name and just to spite her, I turn on the radio and pull the volume up until my windows are rattling then drive away

I arrive home a short time later and even though I don't purposely mean to, I ignore the Cullen's and head up to my room. I spend the rest of Friday in there, only answering Edwards' text messages in brief replies.

Saturday morning, I wake up to painful pangs in my stomach, a reminder that I hadn't eaten since the day before.

I forgo showering just yet and change into a new pair a jeans and a t-shirt I had borrowed from Edward a few days back. I couldn't help it that his shirts were more comfortable than my own. not to mention his smelled way better. I pull my hair into a messy ponytail and head downstairs, nervous for the reaction of the family.

Already on the second flight I could hear their morning chat murmurs and I could smell the makings of omelets.

Rosalie is the first to notice me when I enter the dining room and a certain look passes over her face but she covers it up with a smile and good morning.

"Morning." Alice says from her place next to her sister, her eyes run once over my person and she purses her lips.

"No, that won't do." She says to no one in specific and lightly does her little dance-walk to me. For a tiny person, she can be incredible strong. Her arms tug on my shoulders until I'm standing with my back to her and I feel her hands grab the extra material of the shirt that was two sizes to big. With a few tugs and twists, Alice tucks the material into a knot and loops it until the shirt.

"Better." She says and kisses my cheek once before going back to the table and turning her attention to the magazine in front of her.

"Esme is making us omelets. Go ask for one." Jasper mentions with a nod hello and jerks his thumb towards the kitchen.

When I enter the kitchen, Carlisle and Esme along with Edward are in a semi circle talking in hushed voices.

"Morning!" Emmett calls with a grin and takes his monster looking omelet out of the pan and shares a look with Edward before walking out of the kitchen.

"You look tired." Emmett comments while bumping his hip to mine with what I imagine was a light force, yet because I was a klutz and didn't expect it, I lose my balance and have to grab onto the nearest counter.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Esme says with her motherly smile on her face.

Not particularly in the mood to move my mouth just yet, I wave hello. Then an awkward silence occurs.

"Is something wrong?" I ask walking closer and accept the hug Edward offers.

They all deliberately ignore my question and instead, in unison, ask if I want an omelet. I frown as fear slowly creeps in and starts to bubble, but nod anyways.

Esme and Carlisle both turn to the task of cracking eggs while I turn to Edward.

"You'll break the skin." Words spoken softly for my ears only with an even gentler touch that pulls my bottom lip from my teeth.

"What's wrong?" His eyes waver from my gaze and over my shoulder.

"It'll be okay." Edward says and almost immediately Carlisle's firm voice sounds out in warning.

"Edward."

"Are you we really going to put this off any longer?" He says to his father and I feel his arms around me tighten the slightest bit.

Have you ever had that moment of anticipation, where your blood pounds in your ears and everything feels like its losing it's focus and gets that hazy edge?

In the next moments I can barely hear Esme start talking, explaining how when I went out yesterday my parents had called, while in the back of my mind I wondered if it was to say they were coming back to Forks I didn't have much time to let the sad thought of leaving the Cullen home embed itself in my brain because just then, it was like a balloon had popped and the world returned to normal.

With crystal clear vision I slowly blink as Esme places a small delicate hand against her lips and says just barely loud enough for me to hear.

"Your parents are staying a while longer. Your grandfather died, honey."

**Now:**

**Edward POV**

As she fell asleep in my arms, I couldn't help but wonder just how much is a person supposed to take in life. Just what about all this was fair?

I would be lying if I told someone I thought Bella was perfectly fine, and I mean fine besides the fact that she still has yet to speak actual words since I've met her.

It was moments like this, with her in my arms that none of the technicalities mattered.

It didn't take a genius to figure that Bella didn't have the best sleeping pattern, and as late because of the Angela situation, that already chaotic pattern had almost turned to dust. During the day, Bella would go about it with a dazed looked, the half moons under her eyes growing prominently darker as the days passed.

And it sucked, having her there but her presence not going much passed that. Physically she was present, mentally she checked out.

I run my finger down the gentle slope of her cheek, smiling as her face leans closer to me and feeling the ache in my chest hit me once more.

Every day that ache grew more and more intense, demanding to be noticed with every little smile or action Bella sent my way.

The emotions this girl was causing in me where unlike any other.

I wasn't daft and I knew what this ache was. What the emotion behind it, the source of it's power, was.

Staring at her sleeping face with her warm, soft body against mine, there was no other logical explanation for it.

The girl with no words for the world, had charmed her way into my heart.

_-Ping-_

After carefully leaning over Bella to retrieve my cell phone from the nightstand, I have to force myself not to make any noise as I read the new email I has just received.

Some say that God only gives us what we can handle.

Well...how am I supposed to tell my girlfriend, who just lost both grandparents and best friend, that she would be losing me too? At least temporarily anyways.

* * *

_**I hope you enjoyed the chapter, i apologize for the late update. My laptop pooped out on me and only works on Safe mode...do you know what you can do on Safe mode? nothing. that's what. **_

_**this chapter was written half on my ipod's notepad and half on a draft message on my yahoo.**_

_**The, what i imagine to be, climax of the story is coming within 2 or 3 chapters, i'm so nervous/excited. **_

_**Give me your thoughts :) **_


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